Little Did She Know 

Kim Joonmyeon a.k.a Suho: 

"Stop crying Baek, it was just one fan. You can always just delete your account." Kyungsoo said as he was checking the message that Baekhyun got on his IG. Baekhyun got that message three days ago at the airport and he's been crying and sulking eversince. 

We're on our way back to the dorm and Baekhyun wouldn't stop sulking over a message he got on his instagram account. Aish. This is why I hate SNS. If I wanted to hear endless criticism then I would just run to SM's building. Fans are just too... scary. Being the leader of this group of flower boys isn't easy.  It's like taking care of a bunch of overgrown kindergarteners who are addicted to their phones instead of toys. 

"Aish. Even if she was just one fan... she said that I lied to them and regrets being naive enough to believe me.  She said good luck on my relationship with Taeyeon and on EXO's future activities. She also said that she tried her best to hold on but she couldn't." Baekhyun said coldly. 

"And what's so wrong about that?" Chanyeol asked. Baekhyun shifted his gaze to the car window

"She was so... gentle. Like she was trying to say goodbye and goodluck at the same time. She didn't say any mean words like the others did but her message just affected me the most.

"How so?" Kai butted it. Aish. This boys are so noisy. People are trying to sleep here! Don't get me wrong, I love Baekhyun and all the members but like Kyungsoo said - it was one freaking fan. One fan shouldn't affect him like this because what the heck -- they're freaking singular.

"She said that she didn't love me. She only had a little admiration for my face and what I showed in variety shows that were probably all scripted but that wasn't love, she just made herself believe it was. And she didn't know why it took me to date another girl to make herself realize that. She said thanks for the fun times and thanks for making her realize that a girl like her would never end up with someone like me." Baekhyun said still avoiding their gaze.

The van falls silent. That fan... I don't know what to say about her. She was realistic by all means but... how could've she said those words to him? She decided to stop supporting us and wished us luck like we were nothing to her. Like the love that she once had for Baekhyun was just an illusion she conjured up in her head and she has finally realized that. He practically told Baek that he was a product being sold and she was customer who was impressed at first and for some reason figured out that he was just a fake piece of crap that she's decided to return and give away to someone else. Guilt then started to run through me... I didn't know it was what the message said.

Yes of course some variety shows are scripted but we truly do love our fans. They're the reason why we even have the nerve to show up in variety shows. We are not as 100% fake as people make us out to be. We are just humans, SM does fill up our schedules but they don't control every move we make. 

"If you wanted to not see their rants Baek then you shouldn't have not joined SNS in the first place." manager-hyung said. Exactly.  "You could always just delete your IG account if you like." That's what I said when he was in the plane bawling his eyes out while reading those freaking messages. "Why would you even read messages like that in the first place? Seriously? It's like self harm." Bingo!

We finally reach the dorm and each of the members are like zombies. They practically waddle their way out the van and to the dorm. I stand up immediately and get my wallet.

"Where are you going Suho-hyung?" Chen asked me.

"To the coffee shop a few blocks away." I need something to relax me and coffee always gets the job done.

I hand over my payment to the cashier and sat down by the windows. I took the time to think of how much time has gone by eversince they told me I was going to be the leader of SM's new boy group and the first time I met the members. We've come so far from that. We never expected to reach this big or atleast I didn't. We also never expected to lose someone so fast.  

I still remember the first time I heard the news though, we were performing on a music show. I  really don't remember which but it really didn't matter. We were all preparing because we have already been informed that we've won first place. We were all so happy and prepared to grace the audience with our endless gratitude until Manager-hyung's phone suddenly rang and it was from Kim Young Min. He froze because it was the first time he ever called so suddenly and even during a music show. Manager-hyung excuse himself for a while and the members and I all talked of what could've been the reason of why he called.  

Hyung re-entered the room and there was this sudden look of dismay in his face. He couldn't even bare to look us in the eyes.

"What was it?" I asked.

"It's about... Wu Yi Fan." he said. Chanyeol immediately stood up and walked towards him.

"What about him? Is he okay? Did he get hurt? What about EXO M?" he asked with a worried face. I gulped. It already felt like bad news. Not the ordinary bad news like sasaeng fans or small injuries. It felt like something big.

"He... he filed a lawsuit." manager-hyung said. My eyes widen as I heard those words. I was begging for someone to tell me that it's not what I think it is! It couldn't be! 

"What? A lawsuit? Againts who?" Kyungsoo said as he approached our hyung.

"Againts... SM. He's leaving the group, guys. He won't be flying back to Seoul with the other members tomorrow." I experienced a mini heart attack as those words came out of hyung's mouth. Leaving? As in to never come back?  

"What?!" Baekhyun butted in. The other members were just frozen. I can feel my eyes welling up and I saw all the other members were all just shocked and speechless. Hyung just stared at the ground as he couldn't bear to see all the other members.

"W-why?" Chanyeol asked stuttering. His lips trembled as he asked him.

"I... I don't know. His lawyer hasn't said anything that can be regarded as an official statement. We'll just have to wait." he said. 

"Is this your sick idea of a joke?" Kai asked glaring at hyung. I could feel anger, shock and sadness and I was pretty sure that Kai felt all this as well. We all did. 

"Sadly, it's not." hyung said. The members then started to cry. A lot. Chanyeol was staring at the ground and his low sobs were heard even if he tried to hole them back. Kai fell to the ground and just palmed his forehead, maybe he still wished that it was a dream. Kyungsoo was comforting Baekhyun who was wailing againts a handkercheif. My eyes then went to Sehun who was standing there emotionless, as if the moment hasn't sunk in and he was trying to wake himself up from a nightmare. As much as I wanted to finish filming for the music show, I still couldn't withheld my tears. They started to fall and I aggresively tried to wipe them out. 

The door then opened... 

"EXO K. Time to receive the award on stage." a girl's voice said and quickly closed the door again. I looked at the members and stood up from where I was sitting. 

"I can do it alone." I said to them. They all nodded in agreement.

I plastered a fake smile on my face. I had to do this. I had to fake everything and show the fans that we're okay. That everything will be just fine because they will be. Deep inside, I was begging for someone to wake me up from this nightmare. I was begging for someone to hug me and tell me that everything was gonna be okay, that it was a cruel joke that was done by the music show to see how tight EXO truly is. I'll hate them for the brutality but still! Someone tell me that this is a joke or a dream or anyhting to calm me down.

I opened the door and saw the girl. She knew nothing but she could see my fluffy and reddened eyes. She just smiled at me and I smiled back. Although she was a complete stranger, she was the only one clueless enough to calm me down. She revealed the camera...

"Selca for our twitter update." she said.

I nod and posed for the camera while smiling, hoping that no one would notice my fluffy eyes.

"We are one!" the words that I'll never be able to say the same way again.

I slowly take another sip of my coffee. Yep, still clear. The memory is still very clear.  Everything that hapened afterward is a blur though. But here I am... finding myself sitting in a coffee shop while ten boys wait for me back at the dorm. My eyes stare at the window while I watched the busy streets of Seoul and how everyone was going on with their lives which remains clear to me despite my thick sunglasesses.

I was about to stand up when suddenly a girl, just about my age, walks in holding a camera and runs to the counter. I sit back down immediately. She could be one of those crazy fangirls who have come to take my pictures in a cafe while drinking a cup of coffee. Eventhough I'm not doing anything wrong, people might spread rumors that I was waiting for someone or what not.

She orders her coffee and pays the cashier. I was just waitong for her to leave so that I can ensure that she hasn't seen me. She turned around and stared at the same window I was staring at and she started to approach me. NO!!! I can feel myself sweat everytime she took a step. I'm not used to this. After the whole Kris and Baekhyun thing, I've tried my best to distance myself from photographers or fans who want to have a mini fanmeet. Things should cool off first before I return to normal. I rest my head on the window.

Please go pass me. Go pass me. PLEASE!

I closed my eyes and hoped that when I opened them, she'll be gone and think that I was someone else. I open them again and....

Crap.

She's standing right in front of me. Her camera around her neck while holding the coffee that she's just ordered and her eyes staring at me like I'm some weirdo. 

"M-may I help you?" I ask her, trying my best to disguise my voice so she won't recognize me. There wasn't a look of surprise or happiness on her face. She just seemed curious. Maybe she's not a fan...

"I was wondering if I can take your picture." she said. I stand corrected. She is a fan... but she doesn't look excited at all. Maybe she's taken a lot of pictures of celebrities before.

"What is it for?" I ask while sitting up straight. She smiles at me.

"My portfolio. It's just that your build is perfect for multiple angles and you seemed to manifest a great emotion. The lighting here is perfect as well." she said while pointing at my seat. Wait a minute... is she a photography student?! Does she even know who I am?

"What's your name?" I ask her.

"Eunhye. Jung Eunhye, how about you?" she asks me. She doesn't freaking know me! How the?! Ok, it's not that I'm boasting or anything but girls her age, take note SHE'S LIVING IN SEOUL, all know me. They all  know me well us actually but hey, EXO has been around for a short time but I think a lot of people know us. WOW. Just... WOW!

"It's... Suho."

 "Fine then, Suho. Let me take a picture of you." she says with a bright smile on her face. I nod and look at the busy streets of Seoul and I can see her camera flash from my side. I stare at her again, wondering who the hell she is.

"Is there something wrong?" she asks. I shake my head.

"No, it's just weird that you don't---"

"Don't recognize you?" she raises an eyebrow. Uh-oh. "I know who you are actually. I saw you at the airport with those ten other boys, I'm guessing your famous as hell. Sorry but I don't exactly---"

"Live here?" I interrupt. She nods.

"Just got back from a far away place actually." she then looked around in the cafe, seeing if there anymore available tables. Unfortunately, all of them were full. "Can I sit here?" 

"Uhhmm..." but she sat down before I can even answer. She then started to drink her coffee. So she's not from here? And what the hell is she doing sitting next to me in a cafe and ignoring my presence? What if photographers or sasaeng fans see her? They'll ruin her social life for sure.

"Problem?" she asks while I didn't even realize I was staring at her the whole time.

"Oh... it's just that some fans are crazy and might think that we're... uhmmm....." 

"Dating?" she interrupted while raising an eyebrow. "Why would you date someone you just met?"

"I told you, some fans are just... crazy." I stood up. "Well then, bye Eunhye. I need to go. Eleven-- I mean ten boys are waiting for me back at the dorm." I was just about to leave until she said words that left me frozen.

"You lost one, didn't you?"