A.N

*gives out chocolates, tissues, ice cream, mini ace plushi's and anything else she can think of* 

Warning, this may have you in tears. I'm sorry! 

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“For god’s sake, someone just open the door!” it was Luhan who was uncharacteristically smashing his fists against the still locked green room door, around forty minutes later and they were still waiting for information to filter back to them. They had had next to no contact from any of the staff, the door had not been touched once and since they had been performing their manager had their phones so there wasn’t even the chance to access the mad fan girl filled pages which would hold at least something about what was going on out there.

That was if the fans were still around of course, something which Suho doubted since the concert venue had gone extremely quiet or maybe that was just his opinion on the whole matter. Yixing was the one to get up from his seat and make his way over to Luhan, gently pulling him away from the door and whispering to him quietly in Chinese which at the moment wouldn’t process through into Suho’s brain in the slightest and in some ways he was thankful.

Everyone was in some form of shock, the three maknea’s were bundled up together in a weeping and sobbing mess as they were a mixture of upset, distressed and terrified about what could be going on with their second leader, Yixing had somehow managed to convince Luhan to come away from the door and they were now sitting at the table, grasping hands as they tried to contain all of their fears and anger at what could be possibly going on. Chanyeol and Baekhyun had Chen squished in between them and Kyungsoo was virtually wearing a ditch in the carpet with the way that he was walking back and forth in a mad panic that easily brought to mind the whole notion of him being ‘Satan-Soo’ because he looked positively thunderously mad right now.

Whilst Suho found himself just standing there not doing anything or responding to the situation. He knew that he should be, knew that it was his job as a leader to protect the others and give them comfort and words of advice in times of great stress and keep everyone going...but right now all he could think about was the lingering cold sensation in his fingertips from when his friend had gone impossibly still and those three little words that were mouthed towards him. He didn’t like where his thoughts were taking him in the slightest, he didn’t want to think that their dragon could be... Suho shook his head and mentally slapped himself. No, he was going to think positive and be strong. This was just a collapse with some major medical issues attached to it which Yifan should have told him about and he was going to smack some sense into that big oaf when he got to see him which would be soon.

Though secretly Suho shared Luhan’s sentiment about wanting someone to just open the door and let him out of this small, suffocating box.

“Hyung?” Sehun’s voice broke through the elder’s near constant vigil of the door and turn instead to the clearly upset younger, “Gege is going to be okay...isn’t he?”

Sehun sounded so broken, so terribly close to utterly breaking down and just smashing into a million pieces that Suho found himself mentally damning the fact that he was being selfish. Gently he pulled the youngster down to the couch which the other two maknea’s were on - not commenting in the slightest when the long limbs of Tao slipped easily around his waist and Kai claimed one of his hands to play with since he was leaning on the M maknae – and let out a brief sigh, “It’s going to be okay guys,” he said, wishing that he could actually believe his own words right now and not have the worry about this coming back to bite him at some point, “You’ll see. Everything will be okay.”

A quick glance up towards Xiumin sent the pit of his stomach plummeting to the floor because he could already see the grief and anger in the others dark eyes. Not that Xiumin was going to call Suho out on his comments though of course, there was no point in him doing such a thing in the slightest because they had to try and keep the youngsters safe and at least in a positive mood but how the leader could say that everything was going to be okay was beyond him. A pair of hands slowly round around to his front after gently landing on his shoulders and Chen held him tightly from behind. Immediately the growing anger subsided and left the singer and he lightly pressed his hands to the others arms to give support and show that he was still there for him regardless of everything else that was currently going on and messing about with his head.

There came a click from the door and everyone looked up as their manager entered, the man looking stony faced and almost blank to the overwhelming surge of emotions that were coming from the eleven young men in the room. “Kris has been transferred to a local hospital,” he said, in an almost bored tone that would have riled up Suho’s anger had he not been thinking along the lines of protecting the other band members as much as possible right now, “I’m taking you back to the hotel.”

“No!” Sehun yelled, sounding so angry and desperate right now, “I’m not going to the hotel without knowing how Gege is.”

“Sehun,” the manager warned but Suho was quick to step in, grabbing hold of the maknea’s hand.

“Shush, baby,” Suho said, trying desperately to think of some way to get this situation to work in this favour, “We can’t all go to the hospital. It’ll cause too much of a scene.”

“Thank you Suho now...” the manager continued straight on only to be interrupted by the leader of EXO.

“I wasn’t actually finished, manager-nim,” there was an edge to Suho’s voice, one that some of the band members recognised as the ‘do not mess with Suho’ tone and it was usually only reserved for the times when someone was seriously in trouble, “Whilst I agree that some of us should go back to the hotel and rest, a couple of us will need to go to the hospital to check on Kris’s condition otherwise you’ll have a very cranky maknae line to deal with.”

Yixing smiled, “And believe me manager, that is something you really don’t want to deal with at all.”

“Plus I have a reason to visit the hospital anyway,” Kyungsoo immediately chimed in which caused everyone’s attention to go straight to the petite male. Raising his phone a little higher, presumably their manager had given it to him when he entered; Kyungsoo displayed a message from a fan board about the earlier swing malfunction incident which Suho realised that he had pretty much forgotten about himself. “There are two of our fans in the hospital due to that swing malfunction and I want to go and apologise for causing them any distress and pain. They came to enjoy the show and I put them in hospital which is not right.”

Suho nodded towards Kyungsoo, trying desperately to hide his grin because he did have to seriously love the group’s mother and his way of thinking. There was no way that their manager could refuse the request because it would reflect badly on the band as a whole if the fans didn’t get at least something and it would allow them a chance to check up on Kris’s condition at the same time. “I agree with that and I’ll go with Kyungsoo. Everyone else can go back to the hotel and wait for us there, that way we don’t cause a fuss or grab too much media attention either.”

Their manager looked like he was seriously about to argue when Tao raised his waterlogged eyes towards him, “Please...manager. We need to know.”

~*~

How he had even been able to keep on smiling throughout the whole visit with the two girl’s was beyond Suho’s comprehension but he also knew that it had to be done and that if he didn’t at least appear to be the Guardian of EXO as he always was then it would only cause more distress for the two girls that they were visiting. Both were okay, a couple of minor injuries that wouldn’t take too long to heal and in fact they were more concerned with how Kyungsoo was. Neither of them appeared to have yet heard the news about Kris and for that small mercy Suho was completely thankful. He doubted very much that either him or Kyungsoo would have been able to keep up the act of the carefree attitude in the slightest around the pair if they had asked anything.

They stayed with the girl’s for at least twenty minutes, making sure that they got the proper fan treatment and that they would have many precious memories to treasure. They were sweet girls, just normal everyday fans who couldn’t believe their luck in having two of their bias – as they claimed anyway – visiting them in hospital after what had been a simple accident. Kyungsoo made Suho take their photographs via their phones and they made sure to get their addresses so that they could get signed merchandise later on just to doubly make up for everything and actually if it wasn’t for the lingering cloud of worry and doubt over Yifan then the whole encounter would have probably been very pleasant.

It was the nursing staff who eventually ushered the two pop stars away, their manager having gone off to sort out some official business, saying that the girls needed to rest now and that it was getting late on the ward so most people wanted to go to sleep. They had made their goodbyes and headed out without a problem as it really was getting very late now and most of the patients were fast asleep. Kyungsoo took hold of Suho’s hand, “Where do we go now?”

Suho glanced around and spotted a signpost which he recognised as ‘Reception’ and opted to follow it. He had to be thankful for the many gruelling hours that Yifan had made him sit and learn some of the basic Chinese words for various locations because it helped with navigating no end. Though now the thought just made him feel all the more depressed. Thankfully it didn’t take the pair of them long to reach the main reception desk and all they had to do was ask for Yifan by name and the pretty nurse behind the counter understood what they were looking for. She even kindly, though almost a little rudely, took out a map and showed them the route to get to where the star was.

Kyungsoo nodded and thanked her in his best Chinese, Suho’s throat had virtually closed up on him though he couldn’t think as to why, and gently they set off for the designated room. It was strangely still extremely quiet in the hospital but Kyungsoo figured that just maybe the press would be held on a very tight leash with it being a national hospital that they were in and it was extremely early in the morning. Feeling his phone vibrate once again in his pocket, Kyungsoo sighed as he found yet another message asking if they had any updates and he hesitated before asking, “Suho?”

“Hmm?” the leader replied, appearing to be zoning out a little on the situation.

“Sehun wants to know if we know anything yet,” Kyungsoo said slowly towards the elder man.

That brought Suho out of whatever dark thought pattern he was in and he turned towards the other, “Tell him we’re going to see him now and we’ll let them all know as soon as we have anything.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo said and quickly replied before replacing his hand into his pocket and retook Suho’s in his own.

The leader smiled and squeezed his friends hand in reassurance, telling him that everything was going to be okay and that they were just overly worrying over the whole situation right now. He opted not to say the words aloud though, for fear that they may not come true but he had to focus, had to believe that everything would be okay and that they would walk into the room where Yifan was and their crazy dragon would be lying there with a familiar grimace come smile for the lecture that he was about to receive from them both. It didn’t take a lot to figure out that there had to be something wrong with Yifan medically to have caused this sudden collapse and Suho was going to have a good old fashioned nag at him.

They were leaders together, they were supposed to share in their troubles and work together all of the time. Yifan keeping a medical problem to himself like this was not good in the slightest and Suho was determined to give the taller man a piece of his mind. After naturally hugging him and calling him an idiot several hundred times over and then letting the ever fussy Kyungsoo at Yifan for good measure though as well.

No, Suho was worrying far too much and he needed to be more positive and upbeat about the whole situation because there was no way he was going to be crying in front of Yifan. That would just give the other so much more fuel to his teasing ways but the K leader was more than allowed to worry about the health of the other and would be sure to nag the ears off the huge lugworm for this. Kris was never going to live it down, no one was ever going to let him forget and that was just how it was going to be.

But there was still that horrible, lingering cold in his fingers from before, though Suho desperately tried to ignore it.

The ward was just off from the A&E section and it was pretty busy even for the time of night but they were able to find out where they needed to get to without much trouble because they spotted their manager who as per usual was on the phone and speaking in rapid Chinese. Kyungsoo gave a little wave and the man, without thinking, indicated the door behind him and continued on with his conversation.

Shaking his head, Suho lead the way into the ward behind them which was a series of quiet rooms off from the main A&E and as soon as the door closed an eerie silence fell over the pair. Kyungsoo gripped at Suho’s arm in fear, his eyes wide and he began to shake. “Suho?” he asked in a little voice that was barely above a whisper.

Suho lightly patted Kyungsoo on the arm and took a step forward, glancing at the hand written names on the small cubical before thankfully spotting 吴亦凡 (Wu Yi Fan) on the door opposite, “They’re just asleep Kyungsoo, no need to worry. Come on, he’s just here.”

Stepping towards the curtain which was around the bed where Yifan was, Suho carefully opened in and smiled as he stepped inside, “Hey you,” he said quietly to the figure on the bed, “What do you think you’re doing eh? Scaring the living daylights out of us all?”

Yifan remained where he was, lying perfectly still and not appearing to hear the words that were spoken to him in the slightest. Frowning, because he knew that despite being a lazy lump Yifan was a really light sleeper, Suho stepped closer to the figure of his friend. Even in the dim light, Yifan was impossibly pale and still. Shaking his head, Suho smirked, “Don’t think that game is going to work either Yifan because I know...”

The words dried up in Suho’s mouth as the finger he was using to prod at Yifan’s cheek felt ice cold. There wasn’t even a flicker of a reaction from the muscles in the other’s cheek and Suho just couldn’t help but stare. Slowly he looked down and reached for one of Yifan’s hands, taking it into his own and feeling that same coldness as well as the stiffness to the limb. “No...” he said aloud, feeling tears stinging at his eyes, “No...Please. Please, Yifan?” turning back to look at his fellow leader Suho couldn’t help but try to hold back the tears, “Yifan...no...This game is sick. Please don’t play it now.”

He leaned in close, running his hand through Yifan’s straw like hair and felt his heart break into a million pieces when there was no reaction. No grumble of complaint, no long arm swat to tell him to get off and let him have five more minutes. Suho suddenly realised that he wasn’t looking at his friend anymore; he was looking at a body, an empty shell that had once housed a powerful and strong spirit.

Tears broke out of Suho as he desperately gripped at the hand, searching for one more lingering piece of life and not daring to believe that the last words spoken to him by his fellow leader were the last ones that Yifan spoke on this planet. “Yifan!” he yelled as he broke down into complete tears, no longer caring for his image, his looks or what he was supposed to be in the eyes of everyone else.

Right now he was nothing more than Kim Joonmyun, a young man who was suddenly faced with the fact that his best friend and fellow leader had passed away in his arms mouthing the words ‘Love you all’.

~*~

Suho didn’t remember Kyungsoo clinging to him as the realisation hit him as well. He didn’t remember the chaos when their manager actually realised what had gone on and how he was supposed to stop the pair of them going into the special side ward that was reserved for deceased patients. He didn’t even really register the ride back to the hotel or how he was clinging to a sobbing Kyungsoo the whole time, unable to speak or say a word to the other.

He didn’t even register that the sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon in the start of a new day. All Suho could register was the fact that he felt numb and cold to the world, that tears were constantly dripping down his face in a series of long lines and onto the leather of the seats below him.

It took three calls of his name by their manager to get him to even respond and painfully get out of the van that would lead them to the hotel room where the rest of the band were waiting for news.

For the first time Joonmyun didn’t want the leader’s position, didn’t want to have to be the one to tell everyone else what had happened. Why couldn’t someone else have that dirty job and just leave him alone? But it would always fall to him because it was expected.

He was EXO’s Guardian, their angel and he would now have to protect them alone without the fiery back up of their fearsome dragon.

The first time he came to his senses after holding onto the cold dead hand of his friend was when the door to the hotel room clicked closed behind him and nine pairs of eyes looked up from their half groggy sleeping states. It was no surprise that everyone had piled into the one single room that night, it was easier to be together, easier to support those who were distressed and just share that closeness of brotherhood which they had all sworn to keep together throughout the long years.

Joonmyun didn’t want to break that bond and neither did Suho but there was no point in lying.

He took a single, deep, calming breath and felt his heart break into a million pieces as he said, “Yifan’s not coming back to us...he’s gone.”

“Gone?” he heard someone echo back but didn’t have to heart to find out as new tears began to trickle down his cheeks.

“He’s dead,” Suho managed to stammer out, “Yifan’s dead.”

An ice cold silence filled the room for a few long seconds and then the dams broke. Tao was the first to go, followed hurriedly by Sehun and soon all of EXO were gathered together in the centre of the room, holding onto one another, sharing in their tears and their pain.

Yifan was gone and everything was going to change. 

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A.N

Once again, I'm sorry for writing this. Evil plot bunnies that don't let go are annoying but yeah. Also I decided to break down this long chapter a bit so there's still another one of the sadness arch to go...and yes it's going to be his funeral and a visit for the boys a year later to his grave. If anyone wants to make any special requests or anything please do so. 

God I'm such a bad Exotic right now...I just hope that you aren't all going to be trying to kill me for this. 

Please comment and tell me what you think though...even if it's just to tell me off for doing this to our dragon cause I'm very much on the side of OT12 regardless of what happens. 

*hugs to everyone*

Chia