In school, our first period, our homeroom teacher come up with a boy, where he seems to be a bit familiar for me. Then I heard few of my classmates, girl especially, whispering to each other. Yes, I know they would do that, because that boy was handsome. But he’s looked like cold person, hey wait, cold?

“Okay class, today you guys are going to have new friend. Please introduce yourself to your friends”.

“Annyeohasayo, Oh sehun imnida.”

“Okay thanks Mr Oh for your ‘nice’ intro”, said Miss Choo and our classmate slightly laugh. “Mr Park? Next to you was an empty sit right?”, asked Miss Choo and Chanyeol nodded. “Well Sehun, you can sit over there, next to Chanyeol”.

Then, he slowly walked to Chanyeol and sit next to him. I just stare on him slightly before I heard someone called my name. “Can you help me to take files of your classmates on my table?” I slowly nodded and stand up after Miss Choo asked me to help her. Then, I walked straight towards school office when suddenly I overheard a conversation from principal’s office.

“I’m really sorry Goo seseongnim. My son was a bit naughty and he always makes me angry. He supposed to be here yesterday, but end up came up late as he busy wasting time in nowhere.”

“It’s okay Mr Oh. It’s normal for a kid like him being like that, plus he just lost his beloved person. I’ll try my best to help you. And I’ll make sure, he’s gonna be fine. You don’t have to worry”.

‘Owh, it’s Sehun’s father. Just lost his beloved person? Who? No wonder he suddenly came up that time’. Then, I continue to Miss Choo’s table and take our class’s files and quickly went back to class.

After coming back to class, I handed those files to Miss Choo and went back to my sit. While walking towards my sit, I take a quick glance towards Sehun and our eyes caught. I could feel my cheeks burns as I suddenly feel shy. Then I removed my sight then once again my eyes caught on Jonghyun, and he too was looked at me. Well I will never gonna escapes from him, as our sit was next to each other.

After full awkward moment today, finally it’s time to back home. I quickly packed my things and headed towards the door. Before I could walked out from class, suddenly I was being pulled inside classroom.

“Yah! What are you doing?!” suddenly my mouth shut when I saw who’s the one who pulled my bag just now.

“What are you doing just now? Are you having interest on me?” he asked with smirked. He’s such a guy with full of himself.

“Excuse me, Mr Oh Sehun. I think you must be misunderstood. I DO NOT have interest with a guy like you,” I replied and quickly walked out from there. The environment there suddenly become suffocated and made me drowning. I don’t know why and I don’t want to know.  He just looked at me left and slowly he take steps and walked away.

“Yah! Hyun-ah, you should tell her about you. She must have to know. You said, you love her, but why did you hurt her? You know how suffer she is?”

“Yae hyung. Tell her before it’s too late.”

Yonghwa, Minhyuk and Jungshin still didn’t give up to asked Jonghyun to tell me the truth. Since they know, me and Jonghyun break up, they always advice Jonghyun to tell me the truth.

“I can’t. Let her being hurt right now, I want to give her the best thing for her.”

“You’re so stupid Hyun. And I don’t get it why?”

“And now, you really are going to hurt her by dating with that Jinhye? You know very well right, Jinhye always want to hurt her. Please hyung, stop hurting uri yeoja. She’s our friend since all of us still kids”

******************************

“Do you want to know something, Miss Noisy?” Suddenly someone asked me, while I was studying in library. I don’t want to bother myself with him, since I know who was asking me right now.

“I’m sorry Mr Oh. I don’t have time to playing around. So please go away”. It has been almost a year since he came to our school. And since that, I never get time for peace as he always bothering me and annoyed me. I don’t know what his attention was. Well for me know, I really don’t want to think about guys anymore, after Jonghyun break a news about he’s dating with Jinhye, a week after Sehun came. It does really break my heart and it does make me being cold towards any serious relationship.

“Well I don’t think so, since I’m not playing around. Looked at me when I was speaking with you. Don’t you have manner?”

“Well, I don’t. So please allow me to continue my work”, I replied, still ignoring him. Suddenly he grabs my hand and makes me stands up. Then he pulled me towards him and makes me to follow him. “Yah! What are you doing?! I’m still doing my work here!” I said angrily, but still lower my volume as we still in library.

He ignoring me and still dragged me out from library. Jonghyun saw what was happen and suddenly he felt his heart ache. He was about to stop Sehun’s action when suddenly someone pulled his hand.

“Oppa, lets go to canteen. I’m hungry”, said Jinhye sudectively. Then, he followed Jinhye to canteen and just looked at me and Sehun went to somewhere.

“Yah! Sehun, where are we going? Stop it, you hurt me!”

When he heard I said hurt, he quickly let his grip on my hand and takes a look at my hand if there’s any bruise. His action today a bit weird, “What’s wrong?”

“Did I hurt you?” he asked while looked straight to my eyes. His eyes show me his new sight of him. His new attitude, a nice Oh Sehun and not cold Oh Sehun. Without I realise, I shooked my head and looked down to the floor, don’t want to looked into his eyes anymore. He may made me fall in love with him, and I don’t want it to be happen, no after what has happen to my first love.

“I love you, you know that? That was what I’m going to tell you just now”

His sudden statement make me froze on my spot. Slowly, I lift my head and looked at him, tried to find the truth or any sign of lying. But there’s only honest and sincere in his eyes. It’s new sight of him. Does he have bipolar disorder? Or maybe spilt personality disorder? Or maybe Oh Sehun has twin, and this is his twin?

He lifts his hand up and cupped my face with his warm and gentle hand, and slowly his face come near to me. Without warning, I could feel his lips crash on my lips. He’s kissing me, and I didn’t do anything to stop him. After few second, he broke the kiss and still looked at me.

“I know you must be shocked about this right? And I barely know about your past, about your relationship with Jonghyun. Luhan and Lay already told me”.

After he mention about Luhan oppa and Lay oppa, I quickly curse him in my heart. ‘What the hell did they told him about Jonghyun. I hate them’

“I’m sorry, it’s out of sudden. I can’t say anything about it. I’m sorry, I think I have to reject your feelings towards me, I can’t”.

He let out a sigh, and slowly release his grip on my shoulder. He turns back and looked away towards sky. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Why did he suddenly change? I really hope, he still cold Oh Sehun. Even though I’m bit annoyed with his attitude, but at least he wasn’t like this.

“You don’t understand. I really love you. I just realise my feeling towards you and I hope you could think about it once again, please.”

I walked towards him and stand face to him. If he really does love me, he must don what I gonna ask him to do.

“Sehun, if you really love me, can you do me a favour?”

“What is it? Tell me, and I will do anything what you want”.

“Please, don’t force me to fall in love with you. Lets just be friend, can you do that?”

He seems a bit frown with my statement. I know, it’s a bit harsh, but that’s the truth. I can’t lie to him with his sincerity. He deserves someone better than me, and for that, he must first forget about his feeling towards me.

“If that is what you want, okay I’ll do it. But what if I can’t? Can you think about my feeling again?”

I slowly nodded my head. If he can’t, so I have to learn to accept someone else in my heart and tried to forget about Jonghyun. “I will”

Back then, Jonghyun was overheard my conversation with Sehun. He was a bit upset with what he heard and tears suddenly came out. ‘She already move on with her first step. I thought it would be easy for me, to see her with someone else. But it’s just easy to think and say, and barely hard to do it. My star, saranghae, I still love you and I’m sorry I had to lie on you. Trust me my love, I do it, because I really love you and don’t want to hurt you one day. Trust me’

******************************

I was lying lazily on my bed, when someone knocked my door.

“Yah! Let us come in!”

Arggh I really hate them. They always disturbed my peaceful time. Slowly I get up from my bed and walked towards the door. When I opened it, they rushed get into my room.

“Hey, do you know any news about Jonghyun?” Luhan asked me.

I looked at him with do-I-care face and smirked. “Yah! Don’t do that to your oppa”. I just let a slight chuckle and walked towards window. “Why would I know about him? And do I need to care?”

“Yah! Uri fatty saeng, don’t say that. He shouldn’t being treated like that”

“Oppa, he hurt me. He dates with Jinhye for almost a year. He knows very well about me and Jinhye, but still he end up dating with that ! And now, you said I can’t treated him like that”

“You know what noona, he’s sick. He’s suffering right now. His friends already told us about him. He actually had to let you go as he knows he will not stay any longer. He’s gonna die,” Kai exclaimed.

I frowned, seriously shocked with what I heard from them. Jonghyun sick? He’s gonna die? He’s gonna leave me forever and will never come back? No! I don’t believe it. This must be their stratergy, to prank me. But what if, he’s really sick? I need to see him. I need his explanation.

“Yah! Where are you going? Hey! Come back!”

As I walked out from my house, I could hear all my family members yelled and called for me. I also heard Lay and Luhan oppa scold Kai for his careless. But I don’t care about that; all I care now was Jonghyun. I want to meet him as soon as possible. I quicken my pace and run straight to his house. After few minutes wait, his mother comes out.

“Oh, what are you doing here?”

“Mianhae ommonim, can I see Jonghyun oppa for a while?”

“Jonghyun? He didn’t tell you about it yet?”

“Tell? Tell me what ommonim?”
“Let him tell about it by himself. He wasn’t here. He’s in hospital now. I’m going to see him after finish cooked for lunch. Do you want to go with me?”

“Aniyo, I’ll go by myself now. Kamsahamnida ommonim”

Then, I quickly run towards bus stop and waited for a bus to town. Few second past, it does feel like hours. I can’t wait to see him and ask him for the truth. ‘Oppa, wait for me. I need you to explain for me oppa. How could you do this to me? I hate you for sure. I hate you for not being honest to me. I hate you that you lied to me. I hate you because you don’t want to share it with me. And how could you use Jinhye just to make me hate you, when I can’t hate you.’

“How could you do this to me? Why did you just be honest to me? You said you loved me, but why did you do this? I hate you, you know that? And I almost accept Sehun confession, you know that?!”

“How would you know that I was here? Did Yonghwa hyung said anything to you? I already asked them to keep this as a secret”

“Until when? Until you really going to leave me? Do you really want to see me suffering?”

He stares at me and suddenly he cried. He became weak, when i said about hurt and suffering. He doesn’t want to hurt me. He can’t see me suffering. Slowly, I walked approach him and hugged him tightly. He rests his face on my shoulder and I could feel my cloth slowly become wet due to his tears.

“Mianhae. I’m so sorry my star. I didn’t mean to lie on you. I just don’t want you to feel hurt after I wasn’t here anymore. I want you to be happy, even it wasn’t with me. I don’t want you to let your happiness end, when I was gone.”

“Oppa, how could you say that? So, you want me to let you going through this all by your own? Oppa, we have promise together right? Whatever happens, we’ll always be each other side. We’ll never let each of us suffering all alone. Oppa, saranghae. I always love you, forever and ever.”

He tightens my embrace and let all his sadness gone. After he feels better, he let off and forces me to sit on his bed. For a moment, he just looked at my eyes and formed a warm smile on his face. I really miss to see him smile and laugh happily in front of me. I really do miss all about him. Suddenly he let out slight chuckles that I always want to hear. I just smiled while looked at his pale face.

“Tell me the truth oppa”

“But you must promise me, you will accompany me here. And when I was gone, you must find my replacement, ASAP.

“Yah oppa!”

Then he laughs happily, like it was just both of us in this world. I looked at him full with love and my tears once again, fall down to my cheeks.

“Oppa, I love you so much. I promise you, whatever you want, I’ll do it. Anything oppa, anything”

I hugged him for second time and he hugged me back. He sing lullaby to my ears and tried to calm me down. He caressed my back and put a kiss on my head. It’s indeed such a beautiful moment ever.

“Actually, I had suffering of stomach cancer. It has been a year and half, since I know about this. Seeing you, who had used to live in happiness, make me scared. I’m scared if you gonna be hurt and suffered after I’m gone. That’s why; I’m using ‘hate’ as my excuse, to make you forget about me. But, I was totally wrong; you would never hate and forget me. I’m sorry, my star.”

I tighten our embrace, tried to feel his pain. “Stomach cancer? Does it hurt, oppa?” I still let tears came out, staying in his embrace. He just shooked his head as his answer for my queston. He still caressing my head and back.

“Sleep with me here tonight, okay?”