When Chen woke up, he found an unusual scene in the living room of EXO’s dorm. For starters, everything was silent, and people who were always talking or joking were now mute. All of the members gathered up inside the small room, but there was no feeling of fullness inside that place.

Chen looked at all of them and broke into his usual smile. The grey and dull walls made the scene look gloomy, and he mentally cringed at the atmosphere that reigned over the room. Even when EXO was around the living room, either sitting on the floor and the couch or standing close to where the others sat; the lingering feeling of emptiness remained between the small spaces that the nine members left between each other.

They were all looking at Suho and Kris.

“Why thank you, guys. I know that you have a great love for me and all that, but was it really necessary to wait for me to start doing things?” He expected Chanyeol to crack another joke related to his, he expected Baekhyun and Tao to complain about the stupidity he was saying, causing Suho to tell both members to calm down in a nice manner and Kris to shut them down in a not so nicely way.

None of those happened.

Instead, he found himself answered with empty looks and a few sighs. His smile turned into a frown, and he sat down next to Chanyeol and Baekhyun, who only shook his head and signaled him to look at the leaders. As his eyes wandered from one leader to the other, he noticed the gloomy expressions in both of their faces.

 Suho, who was naturally calm, had a hurt look in his eyes; and when he saw Jongdae’s confused eyes, it changed into angriness, and then, into sorrow. Then he caught a glimpse of regret in Kris’ factions, right before it evaporated into the stoic expression that the man seemed to have mastered.

Immediately, a thought assaulted his mind: “Nothing more than a fight… they will be okay by the time our manager comes and picks us for our daily practice”. It was no secret between the inhabitants of that dorm that the leaders of each subgroup had constant fights.

They did not hate each other, no; they just had personalities that were too different one from the other, and they sometimes crashed. It was, after all, something that could not be helped. Both leaders had their way of directing their subgroup, and when they were together, not as EXO-K or EXO-M, Suho and Kris always discussed about the way they should lead the group.

Soon, his thought was interrupted again by the fact that all the members were inside there. Usually, for their leaders’ sake, every time there was a fight the members of each sub-unit tried to keep distance from the other sub-unit; a deal created by the members, with the purpose of keeping the EXO family from breaking.

“Hey guys, are Kris and Suho at it again?” Luhan asked Xiumin and Baekhyun while entering the living room of their dorm, after seeing both leaders ignoring each other and their members, excusing themselves with being too busy to interact;

Xiumin nodded, taking a sip of his hot coffee. Baekhyun, being the talkative member he was, spoke for Xiumin. “Yes, they are fighting again. It seems that Suho was reluctant to punish Sehun for being a little brat and going out of the room to get bubble tea without telling anyone, so Kris said he was too soft with the members and Suho answered that they deserved an opportunity to fix their mistakes.”

Luhan frowned at the explanation given, not fully understanding why the leaders were so angry; “Why do they seem so angry, then? I thought that they already sorted out that business about the punishments…” Sehun came into the room as Luhan finished asking, looking pale and sick, probably feeling guilty because of the havoc he had created.

Xiumin noticed him first, and looked at the youngest member worriedly. After taking another sip, he talked “Are you okay, Sehun? Don’t worry about the leaders; you know they will soon be fooling around again in no time” Baekhyun nodded while giving Sehun a shining smile, both of them trying to comfort the youngest.

Luhan looked at his favorite dongsaeng, an unspoken question lying in his eyes ‘did something else happen?’

Sehun met eyes with Luhan and nodded, answering both questions at the same time. “I’m okay, hyungs. I-it is just that this time their fight was worse! I-I didn’t knew they would end up screaming at each other!” Sehun whimpered almost choking with his own voice making Baekhyun’s smile disappear.

The three oldest in the room frowned sadly and tried to calm the maknae down. “Kris s-said that the next t-time I did something l-like that, he would get sure of n-never letting me out again, a-and Suho told him t-that he was supposed to b-be a leader, n-not a military sergeant a-and they started to scream and I-I just stood there hyungs!” Sehun’s whimpering turned into cries, attracting everyone’s attention, except for the two leaders submerged in their own seas of thoughts inside their rooms.

The six members that weren’t in the living room before, got there fast and surrounded Sehun, who was now unable to speak due to his cries and tears. Luhan glanced worriedly at Sehun, sighing loudly, and then spoke up “Guys, this needs to stop. We cannot let Suho and Kris fight anymore! It has been already too much.”

The other nine nodded, agreeing to Luhan’s idea: He said that as long as the leaders were angry at each other, the sub-units where to keep distance and follow their respective person in charge, even when they wanted to interact with each other. The Deal, as they named it, remained as a secret for Kris and Suho, but they were far too immersed in their angriness to notice the strange change in the group.

The ten members left were unsatisfied by the deal, because it was the reason why they could not hang out as comfortably as they used to. It was painful to have to distance yourself from your loved ones, but they thought that maybe that way the leaders would stop their constant quarrels. They thought that it was a necessary change.

Chen remembered quite well how that all happen, and how because of it, he had to spend at least a week away from Baekhyun and Chanyeol, his prank partners, every time there was a fight. Still, he thought, we were able to make the fights shorter and that was worth every second away from the EXO-K members.

Not that they could be together for a lot of time anyway, because their constant practices and training, added to promotions and shows they had to attend to, ended making EXO into zombies who could only sleep for one or two hours, three being almost a miracle.

"Guys, Kris is leaving" Suho said and sighed. Everyone froze, and Tao started sobbing quietly, earning a few side glances. Chen looked confused, but then he remembered the previous time his leader disappeared.

“You’re going again, hyung? How long for this time? I mean, last time you went out we were really worried, we didn’t knew when you were coming back…” Chen kept babbling about nonsense, trying to understand the situation and hoping that the feeling in his gut was wrong.

It was, again, no secret that the EXO-M leader had left during their stage rehearsals for the concert and that he had not told anyone about where he had gone, regardless of how worried the members were about him. There also were some times when Kris didn’t show up in SM when he was asked for.

Soon, Chen became silent and the only sound that could be heard was the unsteady breath of his fellow teammates and the soft sobs that left Tao’s mouth.

Oh, how he wished that his gut feeling remained just as it was, a feeling, no more than that.

“Chen, stop. I’m not leaving for Canada… I’m leaving EXO.” Kris’ strong voice was shadowed by Tao, who was now unable to keep his sobs in a low level, and instead burst out in tears, hiding his reddening eyes with his arm. Lay and D.O, who were both sitting next to the EXO-M maknae, tried to comfort him by hugging him and telling him that it was alright, but nothing seemed to calm him.

After that, the mask that every member seemed to be wearing fell to the floor, and the chaos found its way over the silence. Luhan was the first to react, disappearing angrily behind the door of the room he shared with Xiumin, who followed after the fuming member. Kai, who had been silent the whole time while leaning against the wall that separated the dorm’s kitchen from the room they were in, glared at Kris and threw him a harsh remark.

“I thought that we were in this together, Wu Yi Fan. Now I can see it, you were only using us as stairs, and I believed that you had the same dream as us. You are not my hyung. You never were!” After that, he left the dorm, muttering to himself as if he was not conscious of what he was doing, as if it was not Jongin the one who had spoken.

Suho had glanced worriedly towards him, but was unable to speak: he didn’t know what to say or how to react; he had no encouraging words or gentle tips to suggest. He was mute and immobile, blankly staring to the wall where all their trophies were carefully collocated. After that, he mindlessly walked towards his room and closed the door with a faint sigh. He never noticed that D.O, Lay, and Tao had left the place towards the kitchen, with the former of the three whispering different recipes to Tao, who only shook his head, too sad to eat some of Kyungsoo’s food.

Sehun didn't reacted. He just looked at Kris, his eyes cold as the air in a winter morning, and walked away with a "Goodbye, hyung"

Baekhyun and Chanyeol looked at each other, shocked and scared of what to do. Chanyeol’s face contorted with anger as he got closer to Kris and Baekhyun tried his best to stop the member to whom he was closest, panicking over whatever he was going to do. Chanyeol had found strength out of nowhere, threw Baekhyun away as if he was merely a dog, and punched Kris straight in the gut, whispering between his teeth something close to “You deserve it after all the bad things you have made to EXO.” Later, he picked up Baekhyun from the floor and dragged him towards the room, with the frightened vocalist trying to escape the tight hold of his friend.

Kris doubled over himself holding his stomach and slowly walked towards his bedroom while coughing, letting a tear fall from his eyes, staining the white rug with a grayish blue.

Chen was left there, standing in an empty living room, looking at the stain left by Kris. He had standed up right after Kai left, and was going after him until he found himself immobile. He looked at the stain in the rug, blue and gray, he thought, just as the sadness that was left in this room.

He blinked, once, twice. The sting in his eyes didn't seemed to go. What was that? That was how it felt having a broken family? He didn't wanted to know, and even if he did, no one would be there to tell him.

His father was leaving the house, his mother (or who he thought was his mother) couldn't stop what was happening, and his brothers...

His brothers. He suddenly thought about them, about those eleven men that shared so many memories with him, and now he couldn't even recognize them. Were they possesed by some weird ghost? Maybe they were, he reasoned, because the eleven men that had been in that room with him weren't who he thought.

Who was that man who decided to leave so suddenly? It wasn't Kris, Chen thought; because the almighty leader from EXO, the galaxy, the tall tower he knew, wasn't that man with a stoic face. Kris was a funny leader, a man that even when he put the hardest punishments, did it for the best reason. 

Who was that man who remained quiet, and let his family fall? It wasn't Suho, of course; because the guardian from EXO, the angel that guided them, even when he was utterly boring, wasn't that man who left with a sigh. 

Who, he asked himself, was the man who stormed out of the apartment? It wasn't Jongin, he thought, because the main dancer from EXO, the shy guy out of stage who turned into a y man when he danced, would have never done that. He was always respectful and nice. Maybe Jongin was right when he got out muttering words and looking extremely confused. 

Maybe everyone was no longer themselves.

It was already ten days after the news of Kris leaving EXO and the members were all standing backstage, waiting for their press conference to begin. They were mentally getting prepared for all the questions the interviewers were going to ask about Kris' lawsuit.

Why didn't they understood that the members hated talking about it? That they were hurt, and angry, and disappointed and probably just wanted to go home and forget all that? They still had to worry about a concert, about their fans and they future.

Was that how EXO was going to end? For the first time they didn't had the answers. All they knew was that their dear leader was leaving, and that their concert was taking all out of them, even more at that moment, because there were only eleven members. Eleven members left.

They had done their best in every stage, but maybe they only used it as a distraction. A mere distraction from the real situation that was going on inside their dorm. Since Kris announced that he was leaving, nothing seemed to go back to normality in the EXO dorm.

The jokes were no longer shared, the free time was no longer spent together, and Chen seemed to be the only one who remained the same, despite the fact that he was one of the members who felt the most pain. Yes, he was used to joking with Kris and sometimes people said that he disrespected the leader, but it was just his way of showing that he cared about him.

Why did he had to leave? The ten days after he had announced his departure had been the worst since the hard training years. The members no longer had energy, and the smiles they showed when they were in front of the cameras were all faked. He felt as if the reporters and the interviewers were all over him and s, he felt tiny and he was scared of what could happen next.

He had never felt that way.

On the conference, Chanyeol had assured the public that even thought Kris had left the group, they would still be working hard on their concert. Chen understood the reason behind it. He had seen how the members and the staff overworked themselves for the concert, and he had seen the stress on the staff members' faces, having to rearrange the concert for only twelve men.

But he didn't cared about that. He cared about s, and how they seemed to use the concert as a way of hiding and forgetting. Chen realized that EXO was following a routine of sleeping, training, working and eating. Everyday the same routine, the same look on their faces, all of them trying to ocupy the most time they could so they wouldn't have to face what was in front of them.

The same routine, the same face, the same feelings. All to forget that Kris had left.

Chen thought about how he didn't reacted. Was he in shock? He recalled the day Kris had left. He had accepted the fact that he couldn't do anything to keep him in the group, but he never felt in shock. Was he angry? Or sad? He didn't know. For a few moments he felt as if he was a heartless creature, not caring about what was happening around him. It all seemed too confusing, and he didn't know what was going on in EXO, if there was still an EXO, that is.

He didn't even know if he really was Chen, or just a shadow of him.

Chen looked at the members that were with him in the van and sighed. Xiumin had seen him spacing out and decided to talk to him,ignoring the awkward silence that floated inside the small transport. 

"Are you okay?" Xiumin had asked with the most relaxed tone he could use, and Chen looked at him surprised. He finally had the opportunity to speak to s, or more accurately, to Xiumin. Maybe one out of ten was just a little, but he hoped that he could do something to help at least one of them.

He had decided that he was going to lift EXO, even if he had to break his arms to do so.

"I'm fine, but how are you, hyung?" He looked at Xiumin right in the eyes, and saw the fear in them. He could feel how his brother was scared to say what he wanted to say. No, what he needed to say; because it was something that he couldn't keep inside of him anymore.

"I-I don't know..." Xiumin answered, and let a tear slip out of his eye. Chen smiled at him, a genuine smile between all the masquerades that EXO wore. And he hugged his brother while the latter cried silently, and he watched with sad eyes but he knew something.

Even if the members were all changed, even if they were sacrificing themselves to survive each day, or if they faked their smiles, Chen knew something. Because for every change they made, there was something about the old them that became more powerful.

Maybe it was the calm silence and the gentle smile of Xiumin. Perchance it was the comfortable presence and the soft eyes of Lay. 

Possibly it was the strength in Tao, and the cuteness he had. Perhaps it was the constant nagging of Suho and the way he cared for the members.

Or the funny attitude and great talent that Chanyeol showed. It could be the way Kai danced, or the hypnotizing tone D.O used when he sang.

Also, it could be Luhan's face expressions, or Sehun's lack of them. It might be Baekhyun and his goofy smile, and his weird actions.

And he even thought about the possibility of it being Kris' capacity of staying with them despite of him being far away.

He wasn't sure of what it was, but he was sure of one thing.

EXO was not only a group, but a family. It was a family created in the hardest world of them all, the world of an idol, a public image. That family had gone through the hardest moments, the most painful injuries, the biggest amount of sleepless nights. And it stood up tall every time. Even when they fell two steps back, they regained their footing and walked until they were at the very front. They had even survived the era of the awful haircuts, for crying out loud! This was not going to pull them down

EXO was not going to give up now. And Chen was sure of it, because when he asked himself who they were, only one answer resonated over the sea of doubts.

"We are one."

And he was sure, oh, he was really sure that in that new EXO, in that changed EXO, the same answer floated in his brothers minds.

Finally finished it, oof. 3357 words! I hope I did well...  And remember, EXO-L, WE ARE ONE!