I didn’t like a lot of things and eating in front of guys, besides my brothers, was one of those things. I picked my orange chicken to shreds so that I could fit in my mouth with one bite and spare myself the embarrassment of getting chicken wedged in my front teeth. I spent more time cutting up my food then I did actually eating it. Lia bit her lip back to stop her laughter at my expsense when I kicked her under the table. She yelped calling my a but I didn’t care. We called each other names all the time. I grinned watching her back her chair away from the table to look at her red ankle causing all the attention to go to her. As the boys checked to make sure she was okay, I took one of the remaining full pieces of chicken and shoved it in my mouth along with a large spoonful of rice, enjoying how it didn’t taste like baby food. The tiny bites weren’t doing my empty stomach justice and the sad part was that I had eaten most of what Kyungsoo had given me.

I wanted more.

My mouth was too small for the amount of food I shoved into it. I could feel my gag reflexes working as I chewed the chicken. It was way too big! I took a napkin to cover my awkward eating when some of the rice started to tickle the back of my throat. I started to cough out rice and weird noises were coming out of my mouth along with my food. I put my head on the table and started to spit it all out into my napkin when I felt a warm hand touch my back, “Hey, you okay?”

Kyungsoo’s soothing hand rubbed circles on my back occasionally patting it with a firmness that made me shiver. I could fall asleep to his ministrations.  I wiped my face for any crumbs or rice gains before lifting my head to see everyone now looking at me. I subtly snuck the full napkin onto my plate and covered it with another napkin before glancing over at Kyungsoo. He held out a napkin still rubbing my back and I wanted to die, “You okay?”

He was wearing glasses and his hair looked so fluffy draped over his forehead. I groaned out a response meant to affirm him I was okay but it sounded like gibberish. His lips upturned in a closed lip smirk as he looked at me from under his long eyelashes. Fuc—fudge.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He sat back in his seat turning his attention to Chanyeol and Baekhyun who were arguing where they were going to go after the mall. I jumped when I still felt Kyungsoo’s fingers draw circles on my back and leaned into his touch when I felt him me like a tired cat. I even felt like purring. His hands were wonderful.

“Maybe we can go to that store in Myeongdeong? I don’t know what to get her! She likes clothes and stuff.” Chanyeol put his elbows on the table and ran his slender fingers through his hair.

“Doesn’t Seoyoung like scented candles?” Baekhyun mused when he turned to Lia and me. “What do you guys think? Seoyoung’s birthday is coming up and we don’t know what to get her.”

Lia and I stared at each other, before shrugging, “Honestly every girl is different.”

“I should ask Hye Mi,” Chanyeol scrolled through his phone while I picked at my plate. Kyungsoo tapped my back and I saw his tray moving in my direction with some food still left on it. I smiled at the offer and took it when I heard him say, “I have Hye Mi’s number. Hold on.”

His warm touch left my back as he shuffled through his back pockets for his phone. My lips curled up in a scowl as I stabbed at the Styrofoam container. Lia let out a breathy laugh and kicked my foot playfully to help keep my face in check. I rolled my eyes and sat up in my seat flicking my hair over my shoulder before I started eating again.

I watched from the corner of my eye Kyungsoo scroll through his phone for that girl’s number and even caught a glimpse of the picture he had saved with her name. It was of both of them. Her fat head resting on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, she had on pink mouse ears and held a peace sign to her cheek. I pretended to choke, earning another warning nudge from my best friend.

“Do you talk to her, hyung?” Baekhyun asked looking over at Kyungsoo’s phone screen when he passed it to Chanyeol.

“Sometimes.” He shrugged, reaching over with his fork to grab a small piece of leftover chicken from his meal. I glanced up at him, watching him chew thoughtfully before he too looked at me. He smiled, taking another small bite from his meal acting as if us sharing his food wasn’t a big deal

*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*

The three boys left the mall to continue their search for Seoyoung’s birthday present. Lia and I left soon after to go to one of our favorite coffee shops. She was jumping in her seat the whole time and her smile was spread so far across her face I wondered if it hurt, “Oh my gosh! He’s so perfect! He’s so handsome and he gave you some of his food! Oh my God, Jia! He’s going to be your boyfriend! I will make it happen.”

I sipped my iced caramel macchiato, watching my friend with amusement, “He’s not going to be my boyfriend.”

Her jumping and jitteriness ceased, “Ugh why not?” She crossed her arms and legs before sipping her green tea smoothie.

“Why would he like me?” I stirred the ice around my cup, thinking about all the things wrong with me from my fat cheeks and thighs to my belly that stuck out when I sat down.

Lia flicked my hand, “Did you not see how he was acting with you at lunch? He might as well of been your boyfriend with all the things he did. I was watching him. I think he likes you, Jia!”

“You already made that assumption before you met him.” I pouted, pressing my cheeks between my palms.

“Stop that, you’re not fat!” She pulled my hands from my face and looked at me as if she was planning something. As fast the facial expression came she snapped her fingers, “We should have a night out with Saemi and Min. You know get all dressed up and eat somewhere nice.”

“How is that helping anyone?” I drank the last of my drink when Lia poked my nose with her finger, “Because you silly girl, we can get ready at your house and make you even more beautiful than you are now so that Kyungsoo can see you and say, ‘Wow, she’s gorgeous’ and salivate over you like were doing to him at lunch.”

“Was I really salivating?” I wiped the corners of my lips when Lia nodded, “Whether it was over him or the food, I don’t know but you were.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

We rushed back to my house after calling up our other best friends to get ready. Lia already had a plan for what to do with me and I let her take complete control of this transformation since I didn’t want to ruin her fun. Frankly, I was kind of excited too since I didn’t do my makeup often.

She went the whole nine yards with concealer, foundation, blush, eyeliner, and lip gloss. She even went as far to curl my hair. Lia even pointed out the importance of balancing this whole thing out by putting me a simple yet y outfit that was composed of really tight skinny jeans and a form fitting button up that, according to her, would emphasize my s.

“There you look like a y badass.” She made me look at myself in the mirror and I had to admit I liked what I saw. My legs looked great and my s did look pretty good. I had a strong cat-eye and a subtle lip color that made my lips glisten in the light. She did a good job.

We sat on the barstools in the kitchen waiting for our friends to call while also waiting for Kyungsoo to come home so he could see the work Lia put into making me look this good.

I broke off a piece of chocolate and handed one to my friend, “The question is are we really badass?”

“No, and that’s the point. We lure them with appeal and keep them with our nurturing virtues. That’s what my mom said.” She took the chocolate and ate it happily when we both heard the front door unlocking.  She squeezed my hand on the counter and I held my breath when the door opened and I heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. I was nervous, and could feel sweat pooling places. What was he going to think?

“I’m home!”

I let out the breath I’d been holding, “It’s just you.”

Kai pranced to the fridge in his tank top and sweats, “What do you mean it’s just me?”

“Nothing.” I hopped off the barstool, “You ready to go, Lia?”

Kai shut the fridge and leaned against the counter giving me and my friend a once over, “Where are you guys going?”

“Dinner with civilized people.” Lia wove her arm around mine.

“You mean  Saemi and Min? Ha, I’ve seen them eat there more barbaric than you two.” He pushed off the counter and ruffled his hair as he passed us, “Have fun then. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have stains on those nice clothes later.”

“And you wonder why you don’t have a girlfriend.” Lia scoffed before Kai slung an arm around her and planted a wet kiss on her cheek, “I’m just waiting for you to come to your senses, sweetcheeks.”

“Ew, you wet dog.” She wiped her cheek before stomping her foot in annoyance, “Great! You made me wipe my makeup off you dimwit!”

“Not my fault!” He ran upstairs before Lia could say anything and I couldn’t help but laugh at the two. They never failed to get in an argument with each other.

“Come on let’s go to dinner,” I tugged her towards the door when I heard a car honking outside.

“Don’t you want to wait for your man to come and see you?” Lia fixed her jacket while I shook my head, “It’s obvious he won’t be coming back for awhile. It’s okay.”

I felt the excitement of the night drain me out until I was left feeling like an empty shell. Whoever saw me in this get up didn’t matter anymore if the one person it was meant for didn’t get to see it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The four of us ended up eating at a burger joint since it was the only thing we could all afford. I tried to enjoy myself with my friends but that tinge of disappointment haunted me the whole night. The same disappointment I happened to feel when I found out Taemin had a girlfriend. To make matters worse I felt a warmth pool in my undergarments only to find out my monthly gift was two days early.

I sat on my kitchen floor thumbing through my phone looking at diet plans while I snacked out leftover French fries. I still had on my makeup but changed into a long night shirt. The house was dark and everyone passed out hours ago. I pondered the notion of just sleeping there when I realized I was too lazy to get up, go take off my makeup, and make my bed ready for the night. I sat against the cabinets rubbing my bulging belly hoping it would go away with the amount of water I drank to compensate for the fries.

“I need to stop eating,” I mumbled letting my head lull to the side.

I felt myself drifting off to sleep when the sound of the fridge opening and closing startled me, “Seriously who is up right now?”

The fridge closed and I could hear tinfoil opening, “Me.”

I didn’t have to look up to know who it was. He slid down to sit next to me, holding out the opened tinfoil, “Want one?”

They were pancakes from this morning that he happened to make.

“I’m on a diet.” I mumbled folding my arms over my stomach. Kyungsoo tore a piece of the pancake and popped it in his mouth, “Sure you are.” He hummed happily as he chewed and I wondered why he seemed to upbeat at 12 in the morning.

“Oh, just give me piece.” I snatched the tinfoil from him and took the pancake he tore from. It was soft in my mouth and seemed to melt away without much chewing. “They’re good.”

“Thanks. Made them myself.” He took another bite and set the tinfoil down between us.

“But seriously why are you up so late?” I asked, letting my head lazily turn to look at him. He shrugged, “I got hungry while I was reading,” he turned to look at me with a cocked brow, “Why are you up?”

I laughed, “I just got hungry.”

He didn’t break into a smile and stayed quiet just staring at me. I felt small under his gaze. “You’re makeup is pretty.” His whispered the comment, looking down at the tile floor before pulling back to grab another pancake to munch on.

I felt my heart flutter like the sap I was and tucked my hair behind my ear, “Thanks.”

We continued to eat until we finished off the pancakes and laughed when we felt around the empty foil for another one, “Looks like we have no excuse not to go to bed now.”

Kyungsoo got up first to throw away our trash while I remained seated, not wanting to stand and feel stuff leak out from me, “Kyungsoo.” I whined out his name like I would my brother and raised my hands in the air, “Please help me up.”

He walked over to where I was and tugged me with a strength I didn’t know was hidden in his lean arms. I had the breath taken away from me when I felt his chest against mine and wanted to laugh at the moment. “You’re pretty light.”

“Psh, don’t joke.” I punched his stomach which was also surprisingly firm and felt my knees grow weak at the thought as to what lay hidden under his button up shirts.

He pushed me towards the stairs, both hands on either shoulder. If I were to just lean back…

“I wasn’t joking, Jia.” My name on his lips sounded like a dirty secret. It sounded gruff and y, I actually felt my stomach tingle with something more than just butterflies.

“Sure, Kyungsoo.” How I managed to say his name so flirtatiously was beyond me but he took the bait and leaned into me, “I wasn’t.”

I don’t know if this was considered flirting but I loved it and hated it when he pushed me to my door with a quiet chuckle, “Good night, Kim Ji Ah”

My hands flew to my cheeks as a wide grin spread across my face, I shuffled into my room without saying good night too excited and too drunk on our flirty behavior. I slid against my door and laughed into my balled hands before throwing myself into bed.  

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