I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I wasn’t exactly a very patient person, and reading the clock posted above the main entrance to the library for the millionth time, I was getting more frustrated by the second. 5:25. That’s what the clock read. She should have been here nearly half an hour ago. I eyed my cellphone placed on the table warily, tempted to call her for the sole purpose of scolding her once more for being late. After all, I did have her number.

I drummed my fingers impatiently on the desk. What was taking her so long? I finally snatched the phone from where it rested on the table and called her. One ring, then two, then three...she wasn’t picking up. I tried one more time, but to no avail. I wasn’t about to wait on the phone for her, so I did the next logical step. I collected my things and piled them neatly in my bag before heading out to find her, or some trace of her at least.

I passed by the Chemistry building on my way to the Music department, and I spot Mr. H₂O leaving, and right there with him, was Choi Jiyeon. My hand tightened its hold on my bag strap and I could feel my nails digging into my skin. I didn’t know how I felt at that moment. There were just too many things going on inside my head, so many emotions swimming around, emotions I have successfully blocked out, only to have the walls I built torn down by one girl. I loved her, but at this point I also hated her. I loved her because she was everything to me, and I hated her because she wasn’t mine.

No one acts more foolishly than a wise man in love...

I hated how those words described me so perfectly. I hated how I couldn’t disprove them even if I tried.

____oOo___

Monday came, and soon, I knew I had to face the inevitable. The infamous Kim Junsu, which I had successfully avoided for the last three days, would be in this same class. Worse, he was my lab partner. I desperately wanted to talk to Mr. Jung about this...issue with him being my lab partner, but Junsu said-

...Wait...I called off our deal...that means I don’t have to listen to him anymore! I almost smiled in my newly found epiphany as I stood up from my seat and walked up to the front of Mr. Jung’s desk.

“Mr. Ju-”

The door slammed open before I could even fully say his name. There, stood a rather agitated Junsu, his eyes scanning the room as rapidly as they could.

“Mr. Kim, please have some respect. I’m sure inanimate objects would like to have a life span for more than 2 years as well,” Mr. Jung had phrased, referring to the fully open door.

His eyes finally met mine, and I could only see one thing in them. Anger. Whether his anger was the result of his hatred towards me, I didn’t exactly know at the time, but all I knew was that more than anything else at the moment, I wanted to avoid him.

“Jung Sung-Jin,” he said in a low yet still audible voice that was completely filled with this authoritative mannerism, “We need to talk,” and before I could even say anything else, he marched up to me, grasped my wrist as tightly as he could, and pulled me out of that laboratory. I’m pretty sure I saw myself in the lab one moment, and I blinked, and I was being dragged down the hall towards the exit of the building.

“What is your problem?!” I practically screamed at Junsu as I yanked my arm out of his hand, but his grip was stronger than I thought, and I ended up struggling against him.

“We need to talk.” He said again still in the same manner as he previously had.

“Did you have to drag me all the way out here? Couldn’t it wait until after class?”

“Yes, and no. You, Jung Sung-Jin are not calling the deal off.”

I gaped at him, giving my best attempt to resist my urge to knee him in the groin this very moment, “That’s it? That’s what we needed to talk about?”

...Apparently my urge overpowered me when I noticed my leg elevated above the ground in front me, my knee in contact with his...I’d rather not say, and his torso leaning forward, mouth open, teeth grinding at each other, trying to relieve his unsuppressed pain.

“!”

Well that was pleasant, and completely satisfying. His pain, I mean. He doubled over against the wall and I rubbed my arm to bring back the circulation in them. “You deserved it.”

Junsu glared daggers at me, “I suppose we’re even now,” he still gritted his teeth to the excruciating amount of pain.

I smiled at him and turned to finally leave when he grabbed my wrist once more.

“We’re not done talking.”

“I have nothing more to say to you. The deal is off, leave me alone.”

I tried to wrench my wrist away from his grip, but I guess I didn’t injure him enough to weaken his hold.

“I said we’re not done talking.”

I did what anyone in my position would do. I slammed my fist on his chest as hard as I could, but he didn’t even stagger back, instead he took my other wrist in his other hand. “I said we’re not done talking.”

____oOo____

Sung-Jin’s eyes widened considerably as soon I grabbed her other wrist. I wouldn’t resort to this, but she very well instigated the entire thing. “I said we’re not done talking.”

She ceased struggling against me, and I let her go as soon as her shoulders slumped forward in defeat. She sagged to the ground, but I pulled her up again, supporting her with one arm, walking her towards the staircase and depositing her on the third step.

“What is it now Junsu?” She said weakly.

“We need to talk.” I repeated myself, this time softening my voice.

“You keep saying that.”

“Why are you calling the deal off? I’ve been on a recon mission all this time for you. I’m still keeping my end of the deal.” I said, sitting next to her.

“Because I hate you.”

“Really? That’s low, even for you, and personally, whether that’s true or not, whether we hated each other or not wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Well then, I have my reasons. Ones that don’t need to be shared,” she weakly reached for things once more, but I stopped her half way.

“Why are you like this?” I looked her straight in the eye.

“Why do you insist on keeping the deal?”

The question had momentarily caught me off-guard. Sure, I knew what I was getting myself into, I just hadn’t planned on her to ask about it.

“...I have my reasons.”

“Which are what, Su?”

I glared at her, “I told you not to call me that.”

Her facial features conveyed expressions similar to how I was feeling at the moment. She was angered, and confident not to give in.

“Just like I told you not to call me Jin. Just like I told you to keep away from me. And just like I told you that the damn deal is off, yet you keep insisting.”

“Well I wouldn’t keep insisting if you just agreed with me half the time!” our voices were definitely increasing in volume.

“So now what? I’m supposed to follow all your orders as some type of dog?!”

“NO!”

“Then what?!” she screamed, I could tell she finally lost it, “What in the in’ world could you give me as a valid reason...” she paused in exhaustion and to keep her voice from straining, “...as to why you would want to keep this deal on?”

“That’s none of your-”

“Nichkhun advised me to stay away from you.”

“What?”

“He told me you had enough things to deal with and advised me to stay away so you don’t have any more complications.”

Khun...

“I admire you for having extremely loyal friends...” she drifted off, “...so much that it hurts. You know practically everything about me, yet I know nothing about you.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Why was it that you left that other day and ended up running countless laps around our track?” her voice seemed calm and full of curiosity, mixed in with slight frustration that gave it the true interrogative essence, “Why is it that none of your friends will tell me anything?”

“Because...” I paused. She didn’t know...she didn’t have to know.

She looked at me once more before finally picking up her things, “That’s it. Good-bye, Kim Junsu,” but before she could leave, I grabbed her arm one more time, “What now?” she sighed.

Her eyes flared up with a mixture of pain, and anger, and confusion. What now? I let my hand drop back limply to my sides, and Sung-Jin sighed again, turning on her heels. I watch her grow smaller in the distance until she turns the corner and I don’t see her anymore.