Junsu cleaved to Yoochun as he cried, his fingers like vices over Yoochun’s ribcage and his tears soaking through Yoochun’s shirt. Yoochun held on tightly as sobs wracked Junsu’s body with shudders, his hands smoothing up and down Junsu’s back, trying to bring as much comfort as he could to his friend.

Eventually, the force of Junsu’s cries lessened and his shoulders stopped trembling. When Junsu began to hiccough, Yoochun pried himself from Junsu’s hold and dipped his head down to catch Junsu’s gaze.

“Are you okay?” Yoochun asked.

Junsu nodded and moved away from Yoochun. He curled up against the corner of the couch, pulling his legs in tight to his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees. He rested his chin on his knees and stared at Yoochun forlornly, his eyes still glassy with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry,” Junsu said finally, his voice soft and frail.

Yoochun heaved a sigh and let his head fall back to rest against the couch cushions. How was he to respond? This was unchartered territory for him. Of them all, Junsu was generally the most laid back and seemed to handle his emotions well, so to see Junsu like this, Yoochun felt almost frightened.

He couldn’t just leave Junsu to struggle alone; he had to say something. “Junsu, what--” he began falteringly, but trailed off, unable to come up with something appropriate and unwilling to say the wrong thing.

“I’m sorry,” Junsu repeated and made to get off the couch. Yoochun grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Help me understand: why?” Yoochun said, not unkindly.

Junsu glanced away, seemingly unable to look Yoochun in the eyes. “I don’t know,” he said, shrugging miserably. “I didn’t know what I was doing; I just felt so angry.”

Yoochun scrutinized Junsu. He realized this was the first time in weeks he had paid any real attention to Junsu; he did not look well. By the look of the bruises fanned out across Junsu’s cheekbones, it was obvious he hadn’t been sleeping well. The eyes themselves seemed dull. Most disturbingly, the wrist Yoochun held tightly in his grasp felt skeletal: Junsu had been losing weight.

“When was the last time you ate, Junsu?” he asked quietly.

Junsu refused to respond, but Yoochun could see the truth of it behind Junsu’s eyes: Junsu couldn’t remember the last meal he had. Yoochun closed his eyes against the rush of guilt and worry. What kind of friend was he that he had let this happen?

“I’m so sorry, Junsu,” he said. “I should have been there for you.”

Whatever he was expecting next, it wasn’t to hear Junsu laugh bitterly. “Yeah, well,” Junsu said as he pulled roughly away from Yoochun, the strength and rapidity of his movement almost enough to cause Yoochun to fall off the couch, “you’ve been busy, haven’t you?”

Yoochun gaped at Junsu in shock. “Junsu, I--”

“Save your platitudes for somebody else,” Junsu said and walked away.

-----

When Yunho arrived home, Yoochun cornered him in the entryway. “We need to talk,” he said.

Yunho dropped the duffel bag he’d been holding and kicked it out of his way, sending it skittering across the floor and into the wall. “It can’t wait five minutes?” he asked, annoyance seeping into his voice.

“No,” Yoochun said pointedly, “it can’t.”

“I’m going to need alcohol for this,” Yunho said. He toed off his sneakers and slipped out of his jacket, leaving them in a haphazard pile on the floor.

“Way ahead of you,” Yoochun said and held up two bottles of soju.

Yunho eyed Yoochun warily, wondering what the other man was up to. He hoped Yoochun wasn’t in the mood to fight. After the day he’d just had, he wasn’t sure if he had the patience to withstand more attacks on his character.

Impatient, Yoochun grabbed Yunho by the elbow and steered him toward the couch in the living room and pushed him down on the cushions; with the other hand, he passed one of the bottles of soju to Yunho.

“I have a feeling I’m not going to like this,” Yunho said with a sigh. He pried off the bottle cap, toasted Yoochun, and took a hearty drink.

“Probably not,” Yoochun said after tasting his own soju. He continued without preamble, figuring it’d be best to just get it over with. “Junsu attacked Jaejoong tonight.”

Yunho was so shocked by Yoochun’s words, he spilled half of his soju in his lap. “,” he said and grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table to mop up the mess. “Why?”

Yoochun shrugged helplessly. “I’m not sure. It was all rather sudden.”

Yunho lifted his hands to his face and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. The headache he had come home with had triple in sized, and suddenly he hated his position as leader and wished he’d never volunteered for the role. “Did Junsu say anything?”

“He called Jaejoong a….” Yoochun grimaced, like the words tasted bad in his mouth.

Yunho sat still, staring into space, saying nothing. After a moment, he asked, “Where is Junsu now?”

“He left,” Yoochun said. “I think he’s gone to his brother’s house.”

“And Jaejoong?” Yunho asked.

“In bed.”

“How is he?”

“You should go ask him yourself.” Yoochun paused for a moment then laid a gentle hand on Yunho’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Yunho nodded his thanks and stood up, using the couch arm rest to heave himself to his feet. What had already been a long day had become a nightmare, and suddenly Yunho felt more exhausted and broken down than he ever had before.

-----

Yunho, nervous, stood in front of Jaejoong’s and Yoochun’s bedroom door, hand poised to knock when he had an eerie sense of déjà vu. Just weeks ago he had been in this very situation, though thankfully the circumstances had changed slightly. He marveled at history’s ability to repeat itself, and tired of it all, wished he could somehow break the loop.

With a sigh, he knocked lightly on the door’s frame and called out, “Jaejoong? Can I come in?”

Yunho heard shuffling from inside the room then the door swung in on itself. Jaejoong stood in front of him, silhouetted against the soft light coming from a small lamp on the desk. Yunho hadn’t been prepared for the image of a shirtless Jaejoong dressed only in a pair of cotton drawstring pants that hung haphazardly on his hips, and gulped against the sudden rush of desire that clenched his stomach in knots. Yunho stamped it down though, knowing this was no time to give in to his lust.

“H-hi,” he stammered out. “Can I come in?”

Jaejoong shrugged one delicate shoulder and stepped aside to let Yunho in, shutting the door behind him.

“I guess Yoochun told you what happened?” Jaejoong asked, trying to keep his voice light but his body belied him. He stood almost curled in on himself, his arms crossed over his chest; his eyes were downcast, Yunho knew, to hide the fact that he had been crying.

A million thoughts ran through Yunho’s head, things like Junsu was wrong and Everything will be okay, but nothing he could say sounded like the right thing to say. He was unwilling to throw his friend under the bus, and he didn’t want to give Jaejoong false hope when the reality was, nothing was okay and Yunho was unsure if it ever would be again. So he settled for a simple: “I’m so sorry.”

Jaejoong shrugged again and tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s my fault, anyway.”

Yunho crossed the short distance between them and pulled Jaejoong into a tight embrace. Jaejoong tensed up at first, warring with his desire to not seem weak and his need for comfort, before he relaxed in Yunho’s arms and let himself be held.

“Don’t say things like that,” Yunho said against Jaejoong’s temple. “None of this is your fault.”

Jaejoong snorted against his shoulder and mumbled something that sounded vaguely like “They’re my stupid feelings.”

“Jaejoong, look at me,” Yunho said. He waited patiently for Jaejoong’s eyes to meet his before continuing. “Don’t ever feel ashamed for your emotions based on how someone else reacts to them.”

Jaejoong rolled his eyes and tried to pull away from Yunho, but Yunho pulled him back into his body and held him tightly. Jaejoong looked up at him, a fire starting to burn in his irises. Yunho was happy to see it.

“I know that sounds kind of high-handed coming from me,” Yunho said sheepishly, running a hand over the back of his neck self-consciously. “I’ve learned a lot in the last couple of weeks. I’d never considered myself a homophobic person until you helped me realize how problematic my behavior actually was. I know now how I reacted when you first told me was hurtful--I’m not trying to make excuses, but at the time it was all I knew.

Whatever Junsu is feeling right now, that’s all he knows. But in spite of it, Junsu loves you very much. I’m sure he’s feeling very confused right now, but he’ll come around. We’ll help him; things will be okay, you’ll see,” Yunho said finally, giving Jaejoong what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Jaejoong nodded mutely and smiled back. Yunho’s inherent optimism was always infectious, and despite a lingering sense of doubt, Jaejoong did feel a little better.

“Thank you,” Jaejoong said and leaned up to kiss Yunho lightly on the cheek.