Five: In a World Like This

When they say that deep thoughts come during the night, maybe they were right. Somehow, in the darkness, the truth of things just come out. Or maybe the night just leaves us with nothing to do but think. In that case, that was true too. You think so anyway as you lay awake in bed. But your thoughts aren't the damaging kind like you'd expect. They're random thoughts that flit about like smoke and leave you restless. You toss and turn, staring at the ceiling in the darkness, but your eyes are wide awake. Really, you sigh, what is it with nights?

The soft sound of waves crashing on the shore lead your eyes to the window and you wonder if it would make a difference to walk outside. Probably, you think, so you do. The beach is only a couple of barefooted steps away and you momentarily relish in the feeling of sand between your toes. Then you start walking, the salty breeze starting to calm you as the moon hung in the clouds. After a while, you look back at your footsteps and wonder how many of those imprints you've left but it didn't matter so you turn back around. 

There's a figure in the distance you didn't catch before and it's of a solitary man with a serious expression. The both of you slowly near each other and you steal a glance as he passes you. His face was pulled into a frown, his hair falling into his dark eyes. You could make out the shadows under those intense orbs as they stared into the sand.

How serious, you think, and wonder what it could be that bothered the stranger. 

You pass him again as you make your way back some time before dawn. His expression hadn't changed much.

The next night is also restless so you take a walk once again. It feels later in the night when you come across him again. This time, your eyes meet for a brief moment but that's all you needed to see the pain there. They were like dark pools of emotion, their depths seeming like an endless abyss as his face pulled into another difficult expression. He looked away and passed you but you watched his retreating back. 

What could be bothering him? your mind asks again and you find yourself making multiple speculations. Could it be a past lover? Money problems? Work issues? What was it? You make such theories even on your way back but your thoughts pause when you meet him again. This time, his eyes seem red and he reaches up to wipe at them. He heaves a broken sigh and you're suddenly worried so you reach a hand out to touch his arm.

"What's wrong?" you ask and he bores a hole in your face with his sad gaze. He bites his lip and you press, "Are you alright?"

Like a dam, he bursts and presses his hands to his face. Through his fingertips, you catch a few phrases like "unfair," "left," and a "break up." Then you're pulling him into your arms as he pours his broken heart out. You pat his hair and rock him a little bit before letting him go when he moves away. He wipes at his eyes and thanks you before disappearing into the night. 

He's absent the next night and the next, but he crosses paths with you on the third. However, instead of passing by, he stops and offers a hand.

"I'm Tao," he says in a soft voice. "Huang Zitao."

You take his hand while you introduce yourselves and he pulls you to sit on the sand with him. He tells you about his heartache, about the person that left him, and tells you about how much he appreciated being held by you. You respond with a small "it's okay" and ask him if his troubles kept him restless at night.

"They did but I don't think they will anymore," he replies. After a pause, he continues, "Why are you restless?"

You smile a little sheepishly and admit that your head is filled with random thoughts during the night. He gives a chuckle and you notice in that moment how nice his smile is. 

"You should smile more," you tell him and he looks at you. His dark eyes aren't swimming in pain now, but in lighthearted happiness. In their depth, you also see genuine sincerety and relief. You couldn't help but smile at that and he returns your sentence right back at you. Then you're telling him about your thoughts and he's paying attention, laughing and making fun in the right moments. 

As your hand shifts in the sand, your fingers touch his and neither of you pull away.