Three: Helpless When She Smiles

"Nah, I'm not into that kind of thing," Kris says, leaning back in his seat while watching everyone else in the group. They were eating at some restaurant, a group of rowdy friends, and the conversation had turned to playing with kid games and toys. Some had admitted to liking them, some were genuinely uninterested, but you suspect Kris wasn't being truthful. You know because he's doing that thing when he's trying to act like the cool guy he's seen to be, but you can just guess that it's all pretend but why is that so?

"You sure, Kris?" you ask, challenging him. 

"Pretty sure," he replies, looking at you with a cryptic look before putting his arm around your shoulders. He looks away and picks at his food, and you wonder what's going through his head.

The night wears on and the group dwindles one by one until the pair of you exit the restaurant as the last stragglers prepare to leave. The chilly air pulls goosebumps from your skin and he pulls you closer to him as you begin to walk home. He stares off at the sidewalk, lost in his own mind, and again you wonder what it is he's thinking. 

"What's up, Kris?" you ask, and he turns to you before shrugging.

"No problem."

"You can tell me anything, you know that," you press, but he's not having it and he frowns.

"I told you: nothing," he replies, determined. "Stop being in my business."

He walks ahead, hands buried in his pockets, and you pause on the sidewalk. What was it with him? Always so shielded, dancing away from any care and any concern. It was infuriating, frustrating, how he always brushes everything off and hides his worries. But the both of you are together, aren't you? What was the purpose of that if he was like this? He's so caring when he wants to be, so cold in others--he was like a whirlwind of emotions sometimes and you were tired of being pulled along.

You stare at his back, suddenly angry. "You idiot! What's the point of being with me when you're like this?"

He turns back and levels you with a stare. Again, he shrugs. "Like what? This is how I always am."

"There you are again, trying to act cool when you don't need to..! Why is that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

You march up to him, his taller stature towering over you, but you don't back down and glare with all your might. "Why can't you just say what you want? Come on, Kris. There's no one to impress here! Just be yourself for once because I am so tired of trying to read between the lines!"

You're too angry, he's too unfazed; and you're in the middle of the street, arguing. It was supposed to be a nice night, a relaxed hang out with your mutual friends, but he's being so difficult again..! More yelling and passerbys are starting to look. Even the few cars that pass by have pressed faces against the passenger's window. You don't want to be angry anymore, don't want to be riled anymore, but tensions are escalating and everything you've thought is spilling out.

"What do you want me to say, huh?" Kris says, finally snapping. "That I'm worried that I seem like such a dork to you? Like a lame guy against all the others you could have had? Because that's what I'm feeling, okay?"

You pause, astounded. Did he just--"Is that all?"

"What do you mean 'that's all?' That's what I think about because I want to be good enough for you so, when people look at us, they'd think that we fit well and--"

Kris's "cool" face was broken and he was exposed to being the flustered guy you knew he was. His eyebrows were wrinkled in worry, his eyes boring into you with intensity as his mouth rambles on about his surprisingly insecure worries. But he was human, just like you, and you were just glad that he was opening up for once so you lean up and cut him off with a peck on the lips.

"Wh-what?" he asks, surprised and a little confused.

"Just be you, Kris," you state. "I like you best when you're just you."

He blinks at you, momentarily frozen, before smiling at you brightly. He looked so relieved, so happy and reassured, that you can't help but grin right back. Then he's kissing you in the street, hugging you tightly to him, but his arm continues to wrap around you even when you part.

"Let's go play in that one store around the corner," he says, still smiling from ear to ear.

"The one with the toys?"

"Yeah!" he says, enthusiastic, and leads you down the sidewalk while you stare at his smile like it was the greatest thing in the world. It probably was because it felt like all the tension melted away and it was like you were falling again.