"I think you have a bootycall, which I don't wanna know anything about. I'm outta here."
I smell jealousy, Sehun snorts at Jongin as he slams the front door shut.
He grabs his phone and answers it without looking at the caller ID; he never does anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hello! It's me."
Luhan!
Sehun flips onto his stomach and pulls the blanket over his back, lips curved into a lovely smile.

"Hey. Sorry I couldn't text, Kkamjong was making a huge fuss about it." He rests his head on the arm of the sofa and settles into his little cocoon; it's awfully empty without his best friend, but at least he gets to enjoy the movie and phonecall without his constant nagging.

"Don't worry about it. I was just worried because you stopped typing half way and didn't reply after that..."
He notices the disappointment in Luhan's sweet voice; he decides to tease a bit.

"What if I was in the middle of doing a huge poo and needed concentration?"

"Haha! Ewww Sehunie that's disgusting!"

"Or what if I was secretly Spider-Man and I was swinging along building tops?"

"Then I'll stop talking to and texting you. I hate spiders."
Oh. Whoops.

"How about Batman?"

"Hmmm... Then I'll make you pick me up at the weekend with your batmobil! Hehe."

"No kidding, I'm repairing my batmobil in my batcave right now."
Instead of stuffing my face with value pack popcorn on the sofa.
Sehun munches noisily as Luhan's silly laughter comes through the phone.

"You know how else I can tell you're Batman?"

"No, pray do tell."

"From the fact that you're bat crazy."
Sehun stops chewing; he needs extra concentration to process Luhan's words.
Did he just call me crazy?, Sehun suddenly finds it hard to breathe.
His previous pursuers have called him handsome or hot, complete with winky faces and flirty tones.
But here's Luhan calling him crazy.
And it feels amazing.

"Uhm... Sehun? I was only joking, please don't be mad at me-"

"What are you talking about? I'm not mad at you." Sehun quickly jumps in and clarifies; Luhan's whining makes his tummy grow mutant butterflies the size of his .

"Really? But you stopped talking..."

"That's because you had me speechless."
Damn right you did.

"H-how?"
The end credits and majestic ending music of the movie cuts Sehun off, and he is left sitting there with his mouth agape.
Realization just hit him harder than a bullet train: he'd forgotten to watch the movie.

The movie with Colin Firth in it.

Colin. Firth.

The iest fifty year old man he knows with helluva seductive hair.

Yes, that Colin Firth.

You. Forgot. All. About. Him.

"Sehun? Sehunie?"

"I..." Sehun feels like the froggies in his throat and the butterflies in his tummy are on crystal meth, and he feels weak and shakey all of a sudden.
He knows he's gonna spew some kind of bullcrap out but he doesn't even bother stopping it.

"Ohhh... Luhan. You. In. Colin Firth. Out. Abraham Lincoln beards should never make a comeback."

"What!? ... Sehunie, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay. The question is you, Luhan, are you okay?"

"M-me? Uh... I'm okay?"

"Wrong answer. You're not okay, you're hella fine. Yes, that's what you are."
Wat.
Wat.

"Uhm... Thanks I guess...?"

"Especially because you don't have a beard."
Wat.
Wat.

"Of course I don't! I-I'm only twenty two!"

"And that too. Because you're not more than twice my age."
Wat.
Wat.
Okay just stop it already!
No, Imma get myself some Deer.

"Sehunie are you sure you're okay? I'm a little worried now, what's happening?"

"No Luhan I'm not okay-"

"What's wrong?"

"-will you go out with me?"
Oh snap oh no you didn't Oh Sehun!
Sehun blinks dumbly to himself; He's breathing heavily and of course, his heart is beating so hard he can almost see it protruding out of his chest.
But still, the silence from the other end of the phone is kinda... painful.

"Sehun... You're insane." Luhan's whisper comes quietly after a few minutes.
This time it doesn't feel so amazing to Sehun anymore; he can't feel his heart crumbling to pieces.
The one person who can make him forget about Colin Firth and put his y beard to shame, Sehun chased him away himself.
Maybe he should shove his heart into a strait jacket, lock it up in a cage and mail the key to Timbuktu.
Sehun's ready to hang up and call Jongin and have him come back and buy two pints of ice cream on the way and-

"It's kinda cute... Okay. I'll go out with you."
HULK HEART!
HULK HEART NO LIKE JACKET AND CAGE!!
*riiiiiiiiiiiiiiip* *crraaaaaaccckkk*
HULK HEART FREE, HULK HEART HAPPY.
HULK HEART LOVE LUHAN!!

Author's Note:

Thehun pls. Jongin ith naat impwethed.