“Good morning~”

I burrowed deeper underneath the covers of my blankets, squishing layers over my ears. As if that would save me.

“Your alarm is going off Lena,” I was well aware of that, the simple piano tune I chose playing through  our silence. Normally the sound would be soothing, but with Ha ri's presence over my bed I knew better than to feel safe. “Lena-ah,”

Ha ri-ah,

“You have school today,”

You don't have work today so stop standing there making me jealous.

“Come on, wake up before you lose any more brain cells.” Her tone was sweet like sugar and honey. I curled up even more, making the cocoon of warm blankets fall up and over my head. It was honestly a bad idea to stay like this for long, but sleep was still lingering over the lids on my eyes, whispering for me to keep them shut. “Oh Lena.” It was quiet again for a moment, my phone alarm striking the last chords of the song.

A large and heavy weight mercilessly dropped onto my side, smushing me into my mattress. If it had been concrete, I would have broken something.

“Auntie what are you doing?!” I gasped, but it was muffled into my pillow.

“What I wouldn't have to do if you had gotten up and shut off the stupid alarm!” All the sweetness in her voice long was gone, dropping into something loud and raspy. Now I was in trouble.

The pillow beneath my head slid out, and connected with my back with a solid thud.

“I've lost precious time to kill my own brain cells, are you happy?!” She hit me a couple more times, not enough to hurt but enough destroy my own chances of sleep. “You planned this out didn't you? This is revenge for not being a decent cook isn't it?!” If there was anything we could ever agree over it would be sleeping – and eating – being our favorite things. And if one of us ever happened to be derived of either of those things, then the other was going to suffer. A lot.

“No it's not! It's an alarm, it's supposed to wake people up- Could you get off me please!” I flailed my arms and legs, achieving absolutely nothing.

“What are you talking about?” I looked over my shoulder and finally noticed the overflowing laundry basket perched on my back. Ha ri shook her head at me teasingly. Despite her voice, her eyes were bagless, her face colored, and her hair smooth. “Oh god, you need to start working out.” I looked away, plopping my face down into the mattress. My black hair puffed around me, no doubt a fluffy tangled mess from not having tied it back. My face was probably dry from rubbing against my pillow, and even without saying a word I knew my morning breath was lethal.

This is unfair on so many levels.

“You better not be sleeping right now! Wake up and suffer sleep deprivation Lena!” The weight grew as she began to lean on the basket, pinching my arms and legs through the blanket. I squirmed, vainly attempting to get away from her without falling out of bed before bursting: “Okay okay I get it! I swear I'll go, just please get this thing off me!” 

You'd think after all that she would've at least offered to drive me to school.

Mornings were never really something either of us enjoyed. I rubbed one of my eyes with the back of my hand violently, trying not to yawn.

Sure I woke her up, but still. She has the rest of the day to sleep in; she can kill as many brain cells as she wants.

The classroom was only half filled when I walked in. I shuffled to my desk, plopping my bag onto its top. The room itself was organized into three rows, each row having a pod of two desks attached to each other. I sat in the right row, farthest from the door and next to the windows. I was also alone in my pod. A girl sat in the pairing behind me, but she didn't have a partner with her either. Other then that, the other spare seats in the room were connected in pairs; everyone else had a person to sit with. At the start of the semester we had a teacher suggest for us to sit together. We did for a while, but then she moved, saying that she couldn't see from that seat. Today she wasn't there, making the area around me feel more quiet and isolated than usual. I shut my eyes, rubbing them as I plopped down into my seat.

“Morning,” I jumped up at the voice, even though it wasn't all that close. A tall figure loomed over the empty desk beside mine.

“Hi er- I mean hello,” In record time my heart spiked into overdrive. Suddenly I wasn't tired anymore. I could never feel anything but awake and aware whenever he looked at me.

“I thought we'd agreed not to be formal.” Sehun had that look on his face again. Nothing hostile or angry, even though his features were set in cool neutrality. It actually felt warm almost; maybe it had something to do with his eyes, gleaming from the morning light.

They were brown again.

“We did, didn't we.” I murmured softly. What was it with his eyes? Just yesterday I had seen them be golden. I had seen them and I promised myself a thousand times over not to ask about it. How had he changed them back?        

Sehun stared at me for a moment, saying nothing. He pulled out the chair next to me then sat down. I watched him, then looked down at my own things. It was quiet between us for a moment, but then it was also quiet inside the classroom. Surrounding conversations had lowered to a hum; suddenly I was glad to be at the front, unable to see how many people were looking at me.

“Lena-ah,”

“Huh?” I turned, finding him already staring at me. Even without the honey gold in his eyes his gaze felt intent. Like it was searching my face, trying to read whatever I let show. And whatever I tried to hide.

“Nothing.” What did he mean? What had he meant to say? “Did you get home alright yesterday?”

“Yes I did,” my cheeks began to warm, but I didn't move to cover them; I was too surprised “why do you ask?”  He leaned in the slightest bit, his voice dropping in volume.

“I was worried the queenkas can really get out of hand. I thought they might have tried something to make up for their failure yesterday.” A sudden chill fell over me from his words. He was right. Of course he was; how could I forget I still had a target hanging over my head? “Don't worry. We'll find a way to fix things, or just stay away from them for the rest of the year.” He lips slightly curved upward. However small the smile was contagious; I smiled too, even though anxiety still gripped my heart. He was probably joking, but that might actually be my future.

“Don't forget we still have one more after this.” I tried to play along. He ducked his head, a chuckle escaping from his mouth. It too was soft and gentle and beautiful. “You're too kind Sehun-sshi, really.” He met my gaze, shaking his head but saying nothing. A small pause “But why are you doing this though?” He stared at me, his features calm save the slight furrow in his brow. I held my hands up, my cheeks burning. I definitely could've worded that better. “W-what I meant was I'm still sort o-of a stranger. We don't really know each other, but you've been so kind towards me. I'm um, really grateful but it's just...it's hard for me to understand what made you want to help me.”

Sehun didn't move right away, as if mulling over my words. “What makes you think I need a big reason to help you?” Instead of answering I could only stare. He smiled, and it made me blush. “I'm not that nice you know. I'm actually really spoiled.” The thought of that made me want to laugh. It was no secret of his popularity here; if he could be so loved in school it wasn't so hard to imagine the way he would be treated at home, or anywhere else really. Kingkas and Queenkas were meant to be liked, if not respected and admired.

“Being spoiled isn't always a bad thing,” I said after a moment. He was looking  at me, but I kept my gaze straight ahead at my bag “It's just a sign of love and affection.”

“From having good looks alone?” I looked up, caught off-guard “That wouldn't be a smart to do, specially if I'm not a nice person.” His stare felt ambiguous; it's intensity was consistently smoldering, but now it felt like something new resided within it.

“Oh, w-well- I'm such you're nice enough.” Why was he referring to himself that way? After everything that happened so far, it felt weird to think of him of anything less than a decent person. It was still true that I didn't know much about him, but to agree with his words would be like admitting he was....well, bad.

“I'm not so sure our standards are the same,” He paused, and just like that the foreignness to his gaze disappeared. “but if you say so, then I guess I have to believe you.”

“We all make mistakes, and have flaws. It's just apart of being human.”

“Some of us make more of those mistakes than others,” He leaned forward, crossing his forearms over the desk and leaning on them “flaws in personality are just, there.” I sat up a bit in my seat, watching his expression change as he spoke “I'm not very good at listening to others. I do what I want to do too, a majority of the time without thinking things through.” He paused for a moment, reaching out and fiddling with one of the drawstrings of my bag. “I wanted to help you out, and I still do. If I had to put a reason to it...I want to know more about you.” I watched his hand pause, holding the fabric string. I exhaled, forcing my heart to beat properly “So does Kai, and the sunbae we introduced to you: Lay. We'd like to get to know you,” A slight pause “as friends, if that's alright.” My eyes locked with his almost subconsciously.

Time felt like it was slowing, freezing in this one moment.

But why?

“Okay.” Something passed over his gaze at the word. His neutral expression was breaking, letting emotion from within show. He smiled again, but it was different. This was a real smile that lit up his face in a way that made a wave of butterflies breezed over me. For once I forgot about how fast my heart might be beating or how my face might've looked.

“Good.” He said. I had never seen him like this, so happy looking.

The warning bell chimes echoed into the room from the corridor, signaling the beginning of the first lesson. Sehun rose from his seat.

“Let's talk again at lunch” I nodded. He walked to his desk near the back of the room and I was left to stare at the bag in front of me. What just happened?

“Good morning students,” I jumped up at the voice of the teacher, not realizing she had already walked in. The usual chorus of sighs and groans began rising up from behind me. It too was louder than what I had expected.

During our conversation, everyone must have come in. Had I really not noticed at all? Wait, none of them heard our conversation did they?!   

Before I had a chance to think about things longer our teacher came around from the small podium, crossing her arms and giving us all a look.

“I'm hoping you all finished those worksheets I gave, because we're moving on today.” A wave of complaints and whines was her only response. Suddenly the classroom door clattered open, a late student barreling inside. At the sight of the teacher and the full room he froze.

“Nice to see you've decided to join us Kai-sshi,” An undertone of giggles and hushed whispers ensued. Despite this the said person gave our teacher a sheepish grin, and bowed slightly. When he straightened up his gaze shifted past her, landing on me. The butterflies immediately came back, sending tingles over my arms and making my cheeks warm. A smile began to grow on his lips.

“Now that you've been able to make the class laugh would you mind taking your seat?” His gaze drew back to her again, and he gave her another slight bow in apology. I straightened slightly in my seat, pulling my bag off the table and placing it in the empty seat next to me. Both Kai and Sehun sat in the pair of desks at the very end of this row, so that meant he would have to pass me in order to get to his seat.

What does it matter? Stop thinking about it!    

If only I could just will myself to calm down. Despite the light murmurs of the people around me I could still hear his light steps crossing the room. Without meaning to my gaze lifted, just enough to see him come in front of my desk. He didn't pause, but as he passed I felt a hand come over my shoulder. The touch was faint, trailing multiple streams of heat along the curve of my shoulder. I turned back, only to find him staring at me from over his shoulder. He smiled a bit, lighting a mysterious gleam in his brown irises.

“Alright, that's enough guys settle down.” Turning around in my seat I began to open my bag, pulling out the materials I needed. The whole time the butterflies wouldn't settle. This time I couldn't tell if I minded.

The chimes of the bell were the only thing I was truly aware of. Each time they sounded that meant another period ended, and there was now one less left until lunch. I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting, just that there was something to expect. Sehun made that clear; even Kai made it seem that way with his small greeting. That made me all the more nervous.

Don't forget their status Lena, don't get carried away with your emotions.    

But it was hard not to. With the way he had spoken, it felt like there was more weight to his words, like he truly meant them and was going to act on them. I still wasn't exactly sure how I felt, much less how I was going to respond. Did I actually...want to be friends too?

“That's it for today. There's still some time left so you can talk amongst yourselves if you like. Just try to be quiet-!” It was no use. No sooner had the teacher dismissed us had the room errupted in chatter, completely drowning his last words. I sighed softly, resting my chin in one of my hands. With the other I took the last of the notes from the lesson down, then shut my notebook.

This was it, the last period before lunch. I was out of time to overthink this.

Smile, be friendly, be kind. That's what my mom used to say every morning as she sent me off to school. Staring blankly down at my things I attempted a smile. It felt stretched and fake and I immediately felt my expression drop into a frown from doing it. My aunt and parents always said they liked my smile; maybe if it came naturally, but I wasn't so sure otherwise.

“Liked the lesson?” I whipped around. In the spare seat beside me sat Kai, my bag now in his hands. He stared at me, a teasing kind of smile on his lips “or not?” I looked to the side nonchalantly, fiddling with the edge of my notebook. How had he gotten here without me noticing? Had he seen me frowning?

“It was pretty bad,” He continued on, unfazed by my lack of response “but that might just be me. I'm pretty bad at math.” Off-beat I shook my head.

“You wouldn't be the only one.” I said lightly. He smiled, leaning forward. He propped his elbow on the corner of my desk, plopping his cheek in his hand; my bag remained in his lap.

“You look like the intelligent type.” I leaned back in my seat, this time fiddling with my sleeve. The statement caught me off-guard just as much as his stare. Had he been watching me?  

“Do I?” He hummed in response, his head slightly tilting into his hand. I shook my head a bit, grimacing slightly “I'm not, really. I'm just focusing on passing.”

“This is your least favorite class then.” It was posed more as a question. I paused for a moment, trying to think. Was it my least favorite subject? Wait, what was I taking again?

“I guess so, isn't it for everyone?” He nodded once, as if making note of it.

“What about your favorite class?” Again I had to stop and think, my schedule suddenly escaping from my mind.

“Well, I like art...maybe history too?”

“Maybe?” His eyebrows raised in a questioning way. I could see the glimmer of humor in his eyes.

“Well it's school, it's hard to find anything that you can like completely.” He nodded again, this time unable to keep his smile contained. “Why do you ask?” For a moment he just looked at me, watching, observing the way Sehun did.

“I'm just, curious.”

“Try not to make her flustered by it,” A voice murmured from behind me. We both turned, Sehun standing at the side of my desk. His eyes locked with mine a moment.

“We were just talking, right Lena-ah?” Kai leaned back in his seat. I blinked, my heart fumbling, before nodding.

I seriously need to stop this silent nodding thing

“Would you like to eat lunch with us?” I stared at him, my eyes widening and my mouth popping open in spite of myself. What did 'us' mean? Us could be the two of them. Us could mean the entire group of Exo. Us was a really general word. I couldn't tell if he just used the word 'us'. “Uh, Lena?”

Maybe if it was just the two of them. I'm already awkward and I'm not so good at talking to others. I'm grateful for the offer but I'm not so sure if I can handle being around all twelve of them at once. I wouldn't speak right; I'd say something stupid, wouldn't I? Oh no, what if they misunderstood me? What if they thought I was a fan?

“Earth to Lena? You still there?” A hand waved in front of my face. It was close; I immediately jerked away from it, backing into something warm and sturdy.

“Woah,” Sehun's hands came to my shoulders, bracing me from going any further. I stared up at him detachedly, not exactly realizing I was leaning against him.

“Sorry, did I surprise you?” Another hand grasped my arm, pulling me back so I was sitting straight.

“N-no, I was just zoning out.” The teasing gleam had disappeared. Now Kai looked surprised, and a little bit apologetic.

“Sorry,” He slowly pulled back his hand, his gaze drifting elsewhere. It was almost as if...he was embarrassed? I couldn't help but watch him for a moment, contemplating.

He likes to tease, but he's actually cute and...innocent isn't he?

“I thought we agreed not to be so formal?” His gaze slowly drifted up to mine. Despite the blush I knew was spreading I offered him a small smile, then looked back to Sehun. The latter's orbs seemed to shine, becoming sweet crescents.

“That's true,” The bell chimed from the corridors, signalling the beginning of lunch. A wave of students were up before it even ended, crowding the door. In a matter of seconds I knew the halls would be the exact same.

“Ugh, we should go. I need to buy lunch today.” So did I. Thanks to Aunt Ha ri's 'special takeout leftover dinner' yesterday I had nothing to pack for myself this morning. The thought of having to navigate through the crowd made me silently gulp. I slowly rose from my seat, my notebook in my hands. Kai stood too, gripping his own bag in one hand and mine in the other.

“Oh, I'll just take that-” at the last second his arm stretched back, preventing my hand from reaching the bag. I stared up at him, momentarily dumbfounded. He grinned, the mischievous gleam back.

“It's a nice bag, but kinda heavy.” He commented. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing could come out right away. Despite the situation, despite the teasing way he spoke and moved around me, I couldn't help but think the look in his eyes and the way he smiled at me were sweet. Too sweet to be meant in a mean way. “Should I carry it for you?”

“N-no, that's fine. I'll-” Each time I tried to reach for it he pulled away. I shuffled after him, sputtering my protests until we reached the door. At the last second he stopped, and I snatched the bag from his fingers.  

“That was mature Kai.” Sehun murmured from behind, his sarcasm hard to miss. Kai looked at me, his easy smile catching me off guard for the umpteenth time.

“She looked uncomfortable. I was trying to help her to relax.”

I looked away embarrassedly, shrugging the straps over my shoulders. “But why that way?” I muttered.

“Why not?” He countered. I didn’t have an answer, my was a perfect blank. Without another pause the three of us exited the room together. Before we even made it out the door the stares had started.

Just breathe. Breathe and...maybe don't make eye contact.      

To think I used to be the one lost in crowds all the time. Now it was like I was an insect underneath a microscope. Everyone was staring; you could tell by the way their voices dropped as we neared, then rose into the hum of incredulous whisper once we were a safe distance away. I didn't need to see to feel their looks, piercing like knives and arrows into my skin. I could only pray none of them were queenka minions. If it were queenka, then maybe I would just be massacred right where I stood.

“Holding up?” A voice whispered lightly. I only turned my head slightly towards him,speaking as low as I could.

“Just getting by.”

Kai grinned, chuckling. Unlike before it was under his breath, only I could hear it. “Don't worry,”

“How could I not?” I muttered more so to myself, but he caught it. He didn't respond, but his smile held. “We're, well-”

“Surrounded?” Sehun finished for me, turning towards us both. “This attention won't last forever. It'll pass.”

“Somehow I don't think that'll convince her.” Kai said.

You've gotten that part right.

“Well, she'll see” Sehun looked down at me, his face cooled and expressionless. The perfect look for an ice prince “after you spend some more time around us.” I nodded slightly, then looked away. Down, towards my converse. They looked small and dirtied next to both their shoes. I watched the trio of pairs walk, nearly in sync. For the upteenth time, I fought the urge to rethink what the consequences of this decision might be.

~~~

Hi Lovely Readers, how's everything going for you all?

Sorry about this late update, things have honestly been a little crazy for me for the past couple weeks because of one single (coughuglycoughcough) word: Exams.

I know, it feels so weird that I actually have a reason besides my own laziness^^. Right now things have settled down a bit (I finished them....let's hope I actually passed....) so I'll try to get back on track.

If this update has made your day, given you some feels, or just made you smile please share the love by upvoting, commenting and subscribing! (Especially if you're currently going through this struggle, overcame this struggle, or have yet to even begin. It's okay guys, we can get through it by the power of the Feels!....hahaha too much?) I am a feedback monster so more feedback=happy author=more motivation to do updates!

Okay, until next time! *Throws confetti cause I'm freaking free now*

Bye~!