Pardon my interruption
This drink's just settling in
On my reservations,
A reason I don't exist...

She says, "Can you keep a secret
A ceremony set for June
I know it's a rush but I just love him so much
I hope that you can meet him soon..."

No, I don't wanna love
If it's not you
I don't wanna hear the wedding bells prove
That we can't try
One last time
But I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime!

Trying to fall asleep
You wake me up cause I'm trying to see the light,
Instead of you in white.
No I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime.

Pardon my harsh reaction
You put me on the spot
And if I'm being honest
I'm hoping that I'd get caught
Showing you I'm unhappy
Letting you see my truth
Cause if you recall our anniversary falls
11 nights into June

No, I don't wanna love if it's not you
I don't wanna hear the wedding bells prove
That we can't try one last time
But I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime...

No, I don't wanna love if it's not you
I don't wanna hear the wedding bells prove
That we can't try one last time
But I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime
Trying to fall asleep, you wake me up and I'm trying to see the light
Instead of you in white
No, I don't wanna hear the wedding bells chime, the wedding bells...
The wedding bells... wedding bells...

As she hears the words to the song replaying in her head, she felt the guilt eating her up like always. The emotional distress was so mind numbingly overwhelming, the sadness she fought so hard to restrain finally spilled out like a raging storm, streams of tears rolled down her cheeks. She can never forget the look in his eyes, the same pair of eyes that once looked at her with so much love but now filled with so much pain and agony.

As he strummed the last note and sang the last word of the song, he was already fighting the tears that were threatening to spill. The song that expressed all the unspoken words and feelings were finally revealed and shared with the world

The song still affected him badly for each time he sang the song; all he could think of was her. He remembered how beautiful she looked as she walked down the aisle and he was reminded that she’s officially his. All this while, he tried to let go of any memories of her and he thought that if he was far away from her and had no connection with her, he’d eventually forget about the love of his life and mend the broken pieces of the life he had before.

“So Taeyeon, from your own experience, what can you tell us about love? About being in love? Or even being hurt because of love?”

“That’s a very deep question. I don’t think I’m qualified to answer these questions. I’m like the wrong person to ask.” He answered the host.

“Your new song is about love, and you self-composed it. I’m sure there are a few things that you related to when composing. Just share with us briefly what do you think love is.” The host pressed on.

“I think love can be both beautiful and scary. Love is like a fire because you don’t know whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” He briefly answered before continuing.

“Loving someone means that you’re giving the person the power to destroy you but trusting that they won’t. If they held a gun to your temple, you’d still adore and love them with every fiber of your being as you watch them pull the trigger. Nevertheless, I’ve come to accept that they who really love you don't mean to hurt you and if they do, you can't see it in their eyes but it hurts them too.” Loud cheers and applause was hears after his comment. Everyone was clearly shocked by his words.

“That was really deep Taeyeon-shi. It definitely seems like you have experience it yourself to be able to explain it in such a way!” the host said. He merely smiled away at that comment.

She stepped in the restaurant and eyes began scanning around for her date. Spotting him seating at a hidden corner, she walked up to him. “Welcome back shorty and may I say that the new song is beautiful?” she said as she walk past him and ruffled his hair.

“Hey! It took me a while to get my hair done Miyoung!” he grumbled as he straightened his hair out.

“I can’t believe you’re finally out of hiding Kim Taeyeon. You’ve been missing from my radar for a while idiot!” Tiffany said as she took a sip of her drink.

“I wasn’t hiding, okay! I was busy getting inspired.”

“Say whatever you want Kim Taeyeon. I know you too well. You can lie to others but not me.” He had his head down and she saw his small dimple smile.

“So, how are you now Kim Taeyeon?” she asked.

“Kim Taeyeon is doing well. He’s topping the charts, creating headlines and getting busier.”

Tiffany just shook her head at his answer. She knew him well enough to know that he’s still masking everything. “Did going away and composing songs help you? Did it mend the broken heart?”

“I’m still mending the broken pieces. How’s married life treating her?”

“Why don’t you find out yourself? She’s just a few numbers away.” Tiffany answered, hinting him to contact her personally.

“Just like how she was a beautiful bride, I’m sure she’s a beautiful and amazing wife and I’m sure she’s happy.” He said with a smirk.

“She misses you, you know. Her best friend left her just like that without even a goodbye and just vanished into thin air.”

“Well, that best friend needs to do the right thing for both of them.” As they continued on with their chat, Wedding Bells was playing in the background. Taeyeon leaned back and smiled as he hummed to the song.

“Would you ever meet up with her if she asks you to?” he shook his head at that request.

“Not anytime soon.”

“Don’t you want to know how she’s doing? Don’t you miss her?”

“I miss her every single day but that does not mean that I’m ready to face her.”

“I made such a fool of myself.” he lamented.

“Love does not make you a fool Taeyeon.”

“She didn’t love me back.”

“That does not make you a fool, either.”

“Just tell me …” His voice cracked.

 “When does it stop hurting?”

She looked at him with soft eyes. The man before her does not deserve all this. Should she tell him the truth about the letter an about her? He has sacrificed so much for love and to have to tell him the truth breaks her heart more.

“Sometimes never.” She simply answered.

Watching and hearing him say all that was too much for her to bear. She took control of the remote and switched off the tv. She got up and pace the room, as if she can leave my guilt behind her but it was futile as it tracks her as she walk, an ugly shadow made by her own.

She has never been able to forgive herself for the pain that she has caused. She hated herself for everything that she has done. She wants to badly see him and make it up to him but he’s been gone and there were no ways for her to contact him. It was like he’s gone for good.  She needed to do something. She needed to see him and that’s what she’s going to do.

Every turn brought back precious memories to the singer. Every corner, every shop has its own distinct memories. Every bit of the neighbourhood was precious to him. It’s where he grew up, fell in love and out of love. It’s where he gained the strength and courage to pursue his dreams. This is the place that kept him grounded and remained humble despite the popularity that he has gained.

‘Will our path ever cross again? What would I say if you were standing before me? What could I possibly say to you? Can I even bear to look right into your eyes?’ all this questions were playing in her head. Would she ever be prepared to face him after everything?

His movement came to a stop as he inhaled a very familiar scent, a scent that he knows all too well. A scent that he has grown to love ever since he first smell it. He began to worry, afraid that his biggest fear at the moment will come true. He stood there with his hands fisted into a ball and his eyes shut close as he inhaled the smell and embraced it. He was afraid and that feeling is not going away, in fact it’s getting stronger. The pounding of his heart is growing stronger by the second as the smell grows stronger.

“Please god, no.” he whispered to himself. He held his head down and mustered the courage to open his eyes. A pair of feet welcomed his sight and he could not help but laughed at it. ‘The universe sure enjoys their game’ he thought as he chuckled to himself. He finally lifted his head and the sight before him left him dumbfounded. He was paralysed. He just stared right into the eyes that mirrored his.

Her footstep stopped as she saw him. Her heart pounded furiously as she stood before him. The person that she has been hurting was standing right before her eyes. What was she supposed to say? As much as she misses him, she’s afraid, afraid to hear him, to face him.

“Hi” that was all he could say to the person standing right before him.

“Hi”. That was all she could answer. The staring game continued as they stared right into each other’s eyes, neither wanting to pull away.

“How are you? How’s married life treating you?” he asked. Taeyeon was the first to break away from the stare and decided to start the conversation to ease the tension.

“I’m fine, Taeyeon. How are you?”

“I’m doing great. Finally have a short free time. Where’s the husband?” Taeyeon did not want to know about him but he just decided to ask just to be polite.

“Are you free? Can we talk?” she asked, avoiding his question.

Taeyeon did not want to have the conversation because he knows where it’s going. He’s not ready to talk about it not confront it. “Err, I actually have plans” he lied.

“You can’t even spare me a little bit of your time?” she was hurt by his answer but that was expected considering the pain that he’s been through.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise Jessica. It’s not your fault.”

“It is Taeyeon! I was heartless. I hurt you Taeyeon.”

“Jessica, you did nothing wrong. All you did was falling in love and that is not wrong. Falling in love is not a crime. It’s a beautiful thing.”

“Taeyeon..”

“If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.”

“Taeyeon, all you did was being selfless. I was the heartless and selfish one. I broke your heart. You were bruised and battered by my words. Everyday you die a little more as I talk about him. Why did you do that Taeyeon?”

“Because I love you. I love you enough to let you go and watch you find your happiness. He’s your happiness Jessica. Maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time.” 

“Besides, I know that you never meant to hurt me because those who really love you don't mean to hurt you and if they do, you can't see it in their eyes but it hurts them too. So it’s okay.” He said with a genuine smile. He got up and walked away from her, leaning against the rail. He walked up to her and got down on his knees and gently lifted her chin so that they’re looking eye to eye.

“What’s done is done Jessica. We just have to learn and move one from it. It will take a while but someday, it’ll all be okay. You’re starting a new chapter in your life. You’ve got a whole lot lined up for you for your new life. Embrace it and enjoy every single moment of it. You’ve been waiting your whole life for your happy ending. This is it Jessica. No point looking back and regretting the past or even feeling guilty.” He said as he caressed her cheeks. Seeing her eyes avoiding his, he inched closer and kissed her forehead.

It’s hard for him and part of him regretted his actions but he did it anyway. His lips lingered on, savouring the last touch and connection that they’ll have. ‘This is goodbye Jessica. I’m letting you go.’ He thought to himself. He grazed his lips from her forehead to her ears and held it there, making her shiver.

“When a man is that special, you know it sooner than you think possible. You recognize it instinctively, and you're certain that no matter what happens, there will never be another one like him. You’ve found your prince Jung Sooyeon. You’ve found your happy ever after, princess.” He whispered and kissed her ears. He knows he shouldn’t have done that and he’s crossing the line but he just had to hold her close for the last time. He got up, took a last look at her and walked further away. Every step was heavy and painful for him. His lips twisted into a frown and tears welled in his eyes as he slowly took steps away from Jessica.

A cascade of tears ran down her face in a waterfall. Her eyes were bloodshot red, ringed with the pink of outpouring tear ducts. Her face glistened with water as she sees him walking further away from her. She can’t afford to make the same mistake twice. She can’t lose him again.

 “I never got married.” She finally said it out loud.