When I was finally able to return to my room, it was almost dinner time. My body felt leaden and stiff, each move feeling as if I was walking through quicksand. The guards had led us so far, but as we had gotten closer to the living quarters, they slowly dispersed, leaving us to take care of ourselves. I didn’t bother to take stock of the room as I entered; instead, I just dragged my body to my bunk and collapsed onto it. I assumed the others had already gone to the cafeteria to eat because the room was silent. I probably should have joined them, but physical and mental exhaustion robbed me of my appetite.

The feeble mattress pressed into the metal frame with my added weight, providing no support for my worn body whatsoever. As I lay in the dark, I stared up at the bottom of the bunk above me. A soft sob rippled through my chest and escaped from my throat. Tears clouded my vision and escaped out of the corners of my eyes. My heart ached in my chest; I longed to be home with my parents. I longed to be at the shacks by the oceans, gutting fish. How ironic that, despite how desperate I was to flee from there, I would rather be covered in blood and trout intestine than anything else. I wrapped my aching arms around my torso as my body started to shake. Another sob passed over my lips, bringing more tears with it. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to—

“Would you keep it down? .”

The voice broke through my thoughts, silencing them and stilling my body. I thought I was alone. I thought everyone was gone. That voice, that snarl, it could only belong to one person. Suga was here. He had heard me. He knows I was crying. I gulped down the lump that had risen in my throat.

“I-I-I,” I started, stammering.

“I-I-I,” he mocked, his voice as hard as steel doors that separated the laboratory sector from the rest of Riverside. I heard the bed shift above me and suddenly Suga was staring me in the face. He had folded himself over the side of the bunk in order to look into mine. Only his head and the top of his shoulders were visible. “Would you just shut the up, already? You’re laying here, sniveling and sobbing like a goddamn baby.”

I was stunned. His words were like pointed daggers that pierced into my body, each one deeper than the last. Still, I couldn’t help but take note that this was the most he had spoken to me since I arrived. Most of the time, he pretended that I didn’t exist. But now, in this moment, I existed alright.

“But I,” I started. The hard lump had returned to my throat. It made it hard to breathe, let alone speak. My mind was jumbled up; a million thoughts battled each other, competing to see which one win out.

“But nothing,” he said, glaring at me. His small eyes were narrowed and hard as they focused in on me. “You're parents sold you into this hell. Why? Because of their own greed. They're why you're here. But, you’re alive, aren’t you?”

“I-yes, but--” His words had taken me off-guard once again. My parents.....put me here?

“Then that’s all that matters,” he interrupted again. “You’re alive, Jungkook. There are dozens, maybe more at this point, that can’t say the same. You’re alive. Your heart is beating in your chest. Blood is running through your veins. Stop your sniveling, your sobbing, and all your woe-is-me bull. We’re all here; we’re all in the same boat going through the exact same thing. But we’re alive. So shut the up and be grateful.”

Just Suga finished up, Jimin and Jin walked into the room. The elder male pushed himself back up to his bunk. I heard him shift around, probably to face the wall like he usually did when we were in the room. Jin said nothing and crawled into his bed, pulling out a book from under his pillow. I don’t know how he did it. He had endured everything I had endured today, but you wouldn’t know it if you looked at him. Had he really adjusted to that torture? Or was he just that good at hiding it?

 Jimin walked over to my bunk and sat down on the edge of the bed. He looked at me, his eyes swimming with questions. Knowing him, he probably wanted to know how I felt, how the experiments went. But I knew, most of all, he wanted to know what he and Jin had just walked out on. He shook his head, knowing he couldn’t ask me anything right now, not with Suga around. He pulled out a napkin-wrapped parcel from his pocket. He unwrapped it, slowly revealing the roll of bread inside.

“Here,” he said, holding it out to me. “It’s not much, I know, but we really aren’t supposed to bring food out of the cafeteria. I got lucky and managed to tuck it away while the guards were distracted.” When I didn’t reach out for it, he took my hand and put the bread into it. “Don’t argue. You need to eat,” he continued, letting out a soft sigh. “The nausea will kick in soon and the bread will help absorb some of the acid in your stomach and ease the feeling.” He looked away from me, just for a moment. He eyed Suga’s bunk before turning his focus back to me. “It only gets worse from here.”