(Jiyong's POV)

 

Her stare was driving me crazy. Not the good kind of crazy. No, this was the kind which literally makes me want to pull my hairs out. Seriously, why is she staring at me like this?

“Kiko?” I asked again, this time with a questioning gesture just so that it would be clear to her.

“I would like to stay the night here, tonight” She said with a shrug before settling herself gracefully in my chair. Chaerin could never do ‘graceful’ even if her life depended on it. Really, the girl was as supple as a half winged bat. I stifled the urge to crack a smile before turning my attention back toKiko.

“No. Why?” I asked, answering her question. I definitely did not like the idea of her staying over and if Chae ever finds out then it’ll be positive for her that something was in fact happening between Kiko and I.

“Can’t I stay the night with the father of my unborn child?” She asked, raising one perfect eyebrow.

“No, because that’s exactly what I am. The father of your unborn child. Nothing else. We’re not together, Kiko” She didn’t say anything to that. “Let me call you a cab” I said, my hand reaching for my pocket.

It’s stupid really, I, myself, could drop her off to her house. Yet, all that I wanted to do was to send her away and rest. There was also the small part of my brain that didn’t wish to sit with Kiko for the whole ride. The look she was giving me clearly meant that she has reached the same conclusion as well.

“That’s funny” I mumbled when I couldn’t find the phone in my pocket.

“What is?”

“I can’t find my phone” I answered, going over to the desk to search for it.

I heard ruffling behind me but did not bother to look. “Maybe…” Kiko said. “It’s a sign” She continued.

I sighed, “What’s a sign?” I heard footsteps closing in, “A higher power does not want you to call the cab”

What rubbish.

“Maybe it means that I’m supposed to stay the night here. With you”

I turned around, meaning to give her a piece of my mind when I saw the state she was in. As bare as the day she was born. “JESUS! Put some clothes on you!” I yelled, turning around. This time, my search hastier.

“Why? Are you disgusted by it? It certainly didn’t seem like it months before when you were crawling at my feet, begging to have a child with me”

The ruthless woman! “You really need to go” Was what I was able to manage through my gritted teeth. How dare she mention those times when she…when she! When she was the one who denied me that right! When she was the only reason for our break up! When her body came before any of our potential children.

“Times have changed. I don’t have any feelings for you now”

I heard her hurrump before she made her way back to the couch. Damn it, where’s my phone?!

“Looks like you don’t need to search for your phone any longer” Kiko said. What? I turned around, and she- now wrapped in her coat- was holding her phone for me. Someone was calling her. I reached for the phone and checked the number. It was me. Huh?

“Hello?”

“You better come here. Chae is in hospital”

“What happened?” I gestured Kiko to leave the apartment. When she refused, I threw a couple of bucks at her and mumbled, GO!

“Why is she in the hospital?” I continued when Kiko left but not before glaring at me one last time.

“It’s bad, man. Come over” And then he hung up! That ruddy bastard hung up on me! Not that he hadn’t done it before but tonight was different. You don’t just hang up on someone after telling that the mom of their child is in the hospital and that it is bad! I stepped on the gear, increasing the speed limit.

This was a first. This gripping fear…it was a first. Never before have I experienced such aldosterone evoking fear. Chaerin please be okay. Please.

As soon as I reached the hospital, I jumped out of the car. Literally. Some of those who were present at the moment were giving me offended looks which I didn’t care for in the least. This was Chaerin and there was nothing more important than her.

---

“There you are” I heard someone say. I was walking towards the reception and as soon as I heard it, I turned around to be greeted by her father. The old man had never before looked so devastated.

“Where is she?” I asked pushing back the hair from my eyes; my breath coming in gasps.

“Follow me” He mumbled as he placed a hand on my shoulder. He led me towards the staircase all the while ignoring my several questions.  What happened? Why did she end up in the hospital? Is she ok? How bad is bad?

He shook his telling me to keep calm. How was I supposed to remain calm? When we reached the floor, I saw the boys waiting outside. Xin wasn’t there. He better be inside,he needs some really good excuses to keep me from lashing out.

“Which room?” I yelled to no one in particular.

“36” Teddy replied, his voice oddly dull. I nodded my head in thanks and went in to open the door. YG following behind me.

As soon as I opened the door, Chae’s mom whimpered before making her way towards her husband. “Oh...Honey” He rubbed her back soothingly. “I know” He mumbled.

Xin and the rest of the girls were there, not a dry eye in sight. Their expressions making my already jumbled head dizzy. I turned to Xin and raised both my eyebrows. He sighed before telling the room at large, “We need to talk” It seemed like the rest of them understood just what it was that we needed to talk about. One by one they filed out of the door, leaving just me and Xin.

Then and only then did I allow myself to look at her. There she was sleeping like the angel she was. She would probably kill me if she ever finds out that I think of her as much, the feisty cat that she is. I slowly made my way towards her, my heart beating too fast for my liking.

“What happened?” I gently asked her, my hand caressing her face lightly. She mumbled in her sleep before nestling more comfortably in my palm. I heard Xin sigh and waited, not taking my eyes off Chaerin.

“I was just dropping her off to the house when you called. So I-”

Chae started moving. Her eyes crinkled at the corners before she opened her eyes with a gasp, a cry leaving her.

“Hush, hey…” I mumbled. “It’s okay. I’m here” I crooned. “Nothing can hurt you. I’m here” Saying so I sat down on the bed beside her. She whimpered before moving to make space for me.

“Closer” She mumbled. She wants me to lay down? I looked at Xin, who shrugged back in return. My gaze went back to Chae, pretty sure that she had no idea that she was saying so. No, a conscious Chaerin would never ask me to lie next to her. “Jiyn” Her muffled cry came.

I hushed her again before settling myself next to her. She immediately rolled to her side, curling herself against me.

“If you want I can come back later” Xin murmured and I shook my head in response. I needed answers and I needed them now. I stayed like that, caressing Chae until she fell into a deep sleep.

“Tell me now” My voice was low, but only because I didn’t want to wake her up.

“Chaerin was with someone when we met…” He began.

….

---

It was probably a good thing that Chaerin was gathered in my arms. This anger, this rage…that was coursing through me could not stopped by anything but her. It dulled but it was definitely there.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have been able to control myself and I really reallydon’t want to wake her up.

“Why didn’t you tell me then? When that bastard first harmed her? Why didn’t you tell me when she was almost- ” I couldn’t finish the sentence. Couldn’t say the word. . . . “Why the hell didn’t you say anything?!?” My voice was low, but there was no mistaking the wrath I was feeling. My burning gaze was directed Xin and he nodded, understanding me completely.

“She didn’t want me to tell anyone. You, specially. You know how you-”

“Can’t say no when she wants something” I completed his sentence, knowing full well the power she has over us. Over me. “Can you leave us alone” I asked, not really bothered that I might sound rude. If anyone had a right to be rude today, that was me.

I heard the door close and now it was only just the two of us left. Only now did I allow myself to break down. With something that was a cross between a sigh and a sob, I squeezed Chae in arms, my head settling in the crook of her neck. Then I held onto her. Needing to feel her breath. Needing to ensure myself that she was alright. That she was alive.

Need the comfort only she could provide. The comfort that I needed when Xin had told about the baby, when he mentioned that the doctors could not save the baby. My baby. Our baby. A cry leaving me.

Who was I to know that when she came into my office that day, my whole world was about to change? I still remember. Remember the unusual favour. Remember the small glint in her eyes when she was talking about her daughter.

---

“I think you’ll both do just fine” She said clasping her hands together. I looked at her, mouth hanging open. “Oh, I’m not mad!” She waved at my surprised look.

“I’m not asking you to sleep with her”

“Which will never happen. Never” I told her.

“All the more reason why I’m asking this of you”

“Mrs. Lee, let me get this straight. You want me to date your daughter?”

“Ye...no. Not date. Distract her” She replied, flustered.

“NoP!” I said, emphasizing the P. “Not going to happen”

“She’s a sweetheart”, “I’m sure she is. But you just can’t go asking people to distract your daughter from her current boyfriend”

“He’s not even her boyfriend. I don’t know what he is. All that I know is he is not good for her”

---

She kept insisting to the point that I didn’t have any choice but to agree. And so off I went, to the club her mom told me to go. “Chaerin would be there. I’m sure” The only reason I went was so that she would stop harassing me about it. It would be just one date and all that I would need to do would be to distract her from her boyfriend. Or whoever that was.

What I wasn’t counting on was for her to turn out to be so beautiful. And fierce. My god, was she a fierce one?

What I wasn’t counting on was for the instant attraction. The kind that makes you question your sanity.

When I saw her leave the club in tears, I should have just let her be. Yet whatever this…attraction was, made me go after her. Not really knowing any good excuse to give had she asked that of me. And she did. It was just was well that I remembered that her bag was still in the club. I somehow managed to convince her to come back. Managed to bring out the fight back in her eyes. What happened after that…well, that was what that led to this...

So much has happened after that and yet everytime I see her, I somehow get struck by how…different she is. How unique. For Chaerin, of course it would be an insult. The girl simply does not think like the others. No, if someone were to even try to make the heads and tails out of the garbled mesh that was Chaerin Lee’s mind, they would probably end up in asylum the next day. That definitely wasn’t an insult for Chae.

Despite what had happened, I found myself smiling as thoughts of her invaded my brain. She was simply…miraculous.

I wasn’t aware of the time that passed, didn’t really care. Suffice to say that enough time had passed when I felt her move. Is she waking up?

For a while I didn’t move a muscle and then I felt it. Her hand moved and it wasn’t long before her caresses eased me. “Jiyong?” A whisper.

“I’m here”

“Do you know?” There was a slight hitch to her breath, her voice unsteady. Carefully untangling myself from her, I looked down at her. Her eyes were bloodshot, glistening and something squeezed within me.

“Yes”

There goes the first tear. The next soon followed.

No, please don’t cry. Not now… not ever. I wanted to say so much. So much. But all that I could do was to rest my forehead against hers.

“I’m so sorry” She said. “I lost our baby” She kept on saying, I shook my head, speaking was impossible for me by now. She seemed to ignore my gesture. Her words being repeated over and over again. Each time my heart bled a little more. Why is she apologising? A barstard…that vile creature came and…

She was vulnerable. She was alone.

It was my fault. I shouldn’t have called Xin. Shouldn’t have asked him to come fetch me. Oh God it’s all my fault.

“Oh God I’m so sorry” My words came out as a breath. She didn’t seem to hear. Chaerin was crying in earnest now. Her gasps in between, cutting at me.

And I kissed her.

Needed it as much as she would need it. Maybe more. The comfort might bring an end to the tears that seemed to flow down both our faces.

She was…happiness and I needed to hold onto the fact that there is a chance for that. That we could survive this. Be together. I need to keep that in mind. I needed to not let the grief and anger and consume me. I needed her. I do need her.

The kiss was like an overwhelming calmness. It was not passionate no, but it in itself held a fervent abundance that only we could understand. Us, who lost our baby even before it was born.

“Are you ok? Does it hurt anywhere?” I asked in between our kisses.She nodded and then shook her head.

“I am…but I should not be” She mumbled. “What kind of a mom does that make me if I say I’m alright right after….oh my god! I lost our baby! I’m not even a mom anymore!” She cried out!

“Oh, love” I said in a muffled voice. “Shhh” More tears betraying me.

“Why am I so hormonal if I’m not pregnant? Oh God, it’s not the hormones is it? All these times…all these crying! It’s not the hormones! It’s all me!” She kept on going.

I kissed her again to stop her rambling. I knew too well how that could go on forever. The fact that she could talk…Chaerin talk…at a time like this gave me immense satisfaction. She would be alright. My Chaerin would be alright.

How I love her.

She buried her face in my chest and grabbed on tighter.

I love her.

The fact that I could blurt those words scared the bejesus out of me.

So I resigned to a kiss at the top of her head.

“Sleep” Her grip on me tightened.

“She’s sleeping” I said after closing the door. They nodded but Xin gestured for me to move away.

“Your phone” He said handing me my phone when we reached a secluded part of the hallway. Out of the earshot of others. “You left it in my car”

I mumbled a thanks, putting the phone in my pocket.

“She called you, you know?” He said breaking the silence. “She called your phone. Not mine”

Oh. “And I wasn’t there” I sighed, my hand weaving through my hair in distraught. “That son of a !”

“Yeah, that he is” He agreed.

“How bad was she? Beaten up?” It wasn’t easy to get the words out. What kind of a man beats up a woman? An animal, that’s what!

“Honestly? I think it guaranteed me a lifetime of nightmares” He gently lowered me to a chair before following suit. “There was blood. A lot of it. Everywhere”

The beast inside me roared.

“She was barely conscious”

It opened its wings.

“She kept mumbling your name…and that…it hurts”

It bared its fangs.

“Her dress was torn and there were bruises on her…stomach”

I’m going to kill bastard.

“How do I find him?” I asked, pretty sure that my eyes were betraying what I was feeling. He shook his head.

“We don’t know. And even if we did…you can’t…do anything to him”

“Try me” I said, standing up.

“You can’t just go around beating people to pulp!” Xin argued, standing up as well.

“Oh yeah? That’s funny because that’s what exactly he did to my girl. And I won’t rest before I get vengeance” I turned around to walk away and then stopped. “And I will get vengeance” I said, not bothering to turn. If his forlorn curse was anything to go by, he had heard.

“Her father has already gone to the police” I could work faster than them. I WILL work faster than them.

I walked towards Chae’s father. “I’m going to go…No don’t ask me where. But call me if anything happens” I said trying my best to keep my voice calm.

“You’re not going to do anything rash are you?” I decided not to answer that.

“Call me” I said again before heading out of the hospital.

I may not know his address or where he is, but I think I have a fairly good idea on someone who would know exactly that.

“Hey. What, no Chaerin with you?” He asked good-naturedly. “What can I get you, amigo?”

“Just an address” I slid some cash across the counter at him. He raised an eyebrow at that.

“Let me tell you something…amigo! I’m not the kind of bartender who tends to talk by the sight of some petty cash. I’m someone who earns his money rightfully. Now, if you tell me exactly why you need this address then I’ll tell you. But only and only if I deem it right to tell you”

Goodness. Was everyone related to Chaerin so stubborn? And so frustrating?

“Someone hurt Chaerin. And I need to return the favour. Now. Will you or will you not help me?” I asked as calmly as I could. I clenched my fist tightly to stop from slamming down on him.

“Who?” His whole demeanour changed. “Who hurt her?”

“Dean”

I stood outside the house. HIS house. Now all that I’d need to do would be to…

Kill him.

With a determined streak I started to walk towards the door.

“What? Not including me?” I heard someone say from behind.

“Mario told me” Xin said when I turned around. “I know how you’re mind works Kwon Jiyong” He shrugged.

“Are you here to stop me?”

I really really didn’t want to fight with Xin. But if it was what it takes then I-

“Are you kidding? Let’s smash that motherer to pieces” For the first time that night I smiled.

“Together?” Xin asked.

“Together”

CRASH.

“WHAT THE ?!” Someone said from the inside. Good, the big bad wolf is inside. Behold, the little red riding hood and the huntsman is here with a fantastic surprise for you!

Chae’s definitely rubbing off on me.

“Who the hell-” He screamed, and then it was followed with an, “Oh. You both”

“So you know us. Well then we can get rid of the pleasantries and get straight to business” Saying so I marched up to him and

THUD!

He went down. That was just a warm up punch. “Get up! We’re far from over” I barked.

I heard a small ‘wow’ from behind. Now is not the time to be awed, Xin!

Dean stood up slowly, hovering still. “You shouldn’t have done that” His mouth was bleeding.

“You’re right” I clenched my fist. “I should do a lot worse” And there goes the second punch. “XIN!” I yelled.

Seems like I switched on a button on Xin. With a roar he rushed forwards, hitting him straight in the eye and nearly nicking mine. He then punched the other eye, “You tard!” He screamed.

I pulled him towards me by the collar and kicked him straight in the balls. “That was for trying to her” His cry of agony was dulled by the second kick, in the same place. “That was for assaulting her” His knees buckled and if not for my hold on him he would have fallen. I kicked him again. HARD. “That was for my baby!” I let go of him and he slid to the ground with an anguished cry.

Dean then roared pulling my legs and tumbling me down next to him. He got on top of me and took his turn at beating. There was aloud crack and the pain in my nose was enough for a small cry of pain to leave me. With a yell I tried to get on top of him, to gain the upper hand. It wasn’t easy.

“AAAHHH!” I heard a shriek which was followed by a loud smack! A howl left Dean’s mouth and then he slumped on top of me. Xin was standing over, a baseball bat in his hand.

“Oops”

I pulled him off of me and stood up. “The bastard broke my nose”

“Here” He handed over a tissue paper at me. “You always carry these?” I asked staring at it.

He shrugged.

“You’ve been spending way too much time with Chaerin and her girls”

Xin shrugged again and the mumbled, “He’s coming to”

“Welcome back sleeping beauty” I said sarcastically.

He spit in return. Always a pleasure.

I kicked him then. Kicked again. And again. And then some more.

It seemed as if the beast within me took over and I just couldn’t seem to stop. It’s not like he didn’t put up a fight. It’s not that. I guess it was true. Vengence of a father truly is a powerful thing.

I heard Xin call out my name but couldn’t seem to respond. I just needed him…dead. He needed to die. And leave. Leave us so that he couldn’t come back to hurt Chae.

NO (kick) PLACE (kick) EVER (kick) CLOSE (kick) TO (kick) CHAERIN (kick) LEE (kick)

“Jiyong!” Xin’s voice was more consistent.

“STOP. NOW!” He shouted dragging me away.

“Let me go!” I tried to pry of Xin’s hand caging me in.

“NO!”

“I’ve called the police. They are on their way. Calm down”

“NO!”

“The last thing Chaerin would want is for you to be a murderer” He said.

Chaerin.

The name itself seemed to calm me down.

I looked at the vile creature. I really did beat him to a pulp. He was literally spurting blood.

“That’s enough” Xin mumbled.

Not nearly enough. Not nearly enough.

From the distance I could hear the siren of police cars.

She was crying.

I have never seen her cry.

I mean sure. She would cry buckets if it’s meant that she would get what she wants. But not like this. Here…she was genuinely crying.

And me being the perfect daughter, is just staring at her cry.

And think about her crying.

Like how I’m doing right now.

Stop.

STOP CHAE!

“Mom” I whispered.

“My poor poor baby!” She pulled me to her chest and hugged me. And I melted into it. Until then I didn’t realise just how much I needed my mom.

Mom.

I could never hold my own baby like this. Mine and Jiyong’s!

“Oh Momma!” I cried gripping at her. “Why did this happen to me? Is it because I don’t pray that much? I swear I will!”

She tried to hush me but by then I was beyond control. How was it possible that everything I didn’t think I wanted was exactly what I needed? And I realized it too late. Too too late!

“My baby’s gone. I have nothing. Mom-” I pushed away a little to look up into her face. “I feel so empty”

Her own tears pouring down her face, she stared at me gently. And then she covered her face, an anguished cry leaving her lips. “It’s all my fault!”

How can this be her fault?

No. I shook my head.

“If I hadn’t done that…..you’d be...but the… but still…it would have been…”

“Mom…? Mom! MOM! You’re not making any sense!” I shook at her.

She looked up at me.

It was then I heard the door open. I looked up to see a very verybattered up Jiyong. I was about to ask him what he had been upto when my mom continued…

“I shouldn’t have asked him to…It wouldn’t have happened then…”

Just what mumbled up thing is she talking about. “Mom you’re still not-”

“Mrs. Lee?” Jiyong’s voice shook mom out of her trance. He slowly made his way towards the bed. “You’re not…?” He asked.

“But don’t you see? If he hadn’t seen you both together, he wouldn’t have get that crazed jealousy rage over him and he wouldn’t have hurt my baby! TWICE. She would have been ok”

I didn’t think it was possible but these words seemed to crush Jiyong even more so than he already was.

“Hey?” I held out my hand to Jiyong. He seemed to stare at it for a long time before placing his hand in mine.

“It’s all my fault. Me and my meddling” She seemed to be explaining something to him. Just what?

“Will anyone care to tell me what you both are talking about?” I may be stupid, but I’m not THAT stupid. Right?

Mom turned to me and took my free hand in hers, “I’m so sorry”

“For what?”

“When I realised just how badly Dean was treating you…well like any other mom, I didn’t want my baby to be with such a…despicable man. So I…I went to him” She gestured towards Jiyong.

Huh?

What?

“Yeah. She came to me” Jiyong agreed. Just what the whatting what?

“I don’t understand…?” My gaze moving to and fro from mom to Jiyong. The latter caressed my cheek and explained.

“Your mom came to me. Before we met. Regarding you” Uhmmm…

“She was the reason why I was at the club that night. And the only reason I went there was to meet you, Chae”

….

Mom and Dad both knew Jiyong since he was a child. Mom…knew Jiyong. Maybe they were close. Just the way they interact…

OHHHH

She was soosooo happy when she found that I was pregnant with his child! She’s always pushing us together.

OHHHHHHHH

Jiyong went to her when he found out that Kiko was pregnant with his child too!!

Is she his fairy godmother?

Are they BFFs?

Planning evil together? Like Yzma and Kronk?

Holy holy cow!

“It was planned? All of this?” I asked, numb. “Everything?” I can’t believe that my mom is capable of evil.

“You’re my mother! You’re supposed to protect me from these things!” I wailed, betrayal surging in me like cascading waves.

“How can I trust anyone?” I asked, my hand losing contact with them both. This was not the kind of news a girl would want to hear after she just learns that her baby is no more.

“Chae-” Jiyong began.

“NO!” I shook my head, begging him to stop. “This is too much!”

Damn it! I want to be spitting mad! Like Chaerin mad! Why can’t I be mad?

“I should hate you both” I whispered as tears started flowing down my cheeks.

“Don’t say that….please don’t” Mom.

I wiped away at my cheeks as more flowed. “How can I trust you both? The whole thing was orchestrated!”

Jiyong started shaking his head even before I finished. “No. Just that first meeting. I had no intention of ever meeting you after that night” That wasn’t helping.

I shook my head indicating so.

“I just…just wanted you to know that there are other choices outside of…him. That you could be happy with someone. That you don’t need to spend the rest of your life with him” She continued in a rush.

I knew that already. Why did I just not let go of him?

“This is too much for me to handle right now” I trembled.

This is my mom and…Jiyong. How can I stay mad at them? Specially now? At a time like this?

“And I’m so sorry. If I hadn’t done that, then you wouldn’t have met Jiyong. And then Dean wouldn’t have seen the two of you together to get jealous and hurt. You’d have been safe. I’m so so very sorry my baby” She wept. Big fat tears running down her too sallow cheeks.

Ifshe hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have met Jiyong….I wouldn’t have had his baby….I wouldn’t have… I turned to look at him, his eyes now glistening…him.

The notion seemed too painful. If mom was the reason why I met Jiyong in the first place…if she was the reason why he came to my life…How can I be mad then?

“Momma please stop. I wish that you’d stop interfering in my life” I mumbled.

Maybe my tone seemed different but it encouraged her to place her hand back on top of mine.

“Even though things worked out this time…you shouldn’t have done that”

Her cries were the only thing that seemed to answer my acceptance of her apology. “Just don’t do that again” She nodded, still crying.

“And I wish you’d told me. Later” I meant that to both of them, but my eyes were on Jiyong, He nodded before resting his lips on my forehead. “I know. I’m sorry” He mumbled.

Mom stayed till her cries lessened and then she left, “You two need some time alone”

We didn’t argue back.

I needed answers.

Jiyong who had been standing next to me sat on my bed – the same place mom had occupied before-

“What happened to you?” I asked not wanting to talk about him and mom evilling up. He shrugged, not meeting my eyes.

“You’ve changed your shirt, you have bruises all over your body and that’s excluding the ugly green bruise on your nose”

“It’s ugly and green? I knew it broke!” He mumbled.

“Who did this to you?” And then a thought crossed my mind that had my heart turning cold, “Did he…come? Did he hurt you? Did he attack you like…he did me?”

He shook his head and then captured my face in both his hands. “No…no no. No one hurt me. I’m alright”

“You’re not”

“Chae…he hurt you” Was all he said.

“He didn’t come to you did he?” Why Jiyong?

“No he didn’t”, “You went to him?”

I honestly wasn’t sure whether I was pissed or scared. “You could have been seriously seriously hurt! He could have killed you!”

“He’s barely hanging!” He mumbled and then winced as if regretting telling me that.

“YOU TRIED TO KILL HIM?” Yup, definitely pissed.

“Yes. I was. He hurt you. He killed our baby. You’re damn right, I tried to kill him!” I winced at his tone.

“You could have…something could have…” I couldn’t say much. Not when he looked like the wrath itself.

“I’m sorry, Love” He gathered me up in his arms. “I’m sorry for snapping at you and you have every right to be mad at me” He crooned in my ears. “I’m so sorry”

“He’s alive?” I asked. “Barely. And in Jail” That thought didn’t soothe me one bit.

“He can’t hurt you Chae. I won’t let him” That did.

He held me in his arms for a long while. His comfort so very pleasant. So very needed. He would have made a great father. He can still be a father! Kiko is still pregnant!

Thoughts kept crossing my mind, each one more repulsive than the previous. Each one more heart breaking than the other. What should I do?

“Hey, can I come in?” Someone poked their head though the door. Kikopoked her head through the door. I tried to disengage myself from Jiyong’s embrace. He didn’t let me.

“Yes” Awkward!

“Oh Chaerin!! I can’t believe this! I can’t even understand how you must be feeling right now!” I nodded my head in understanding, although all that I was feeling right now was discomfort.

“Jiyong” I whispered, trying to tell him to let me go. His grip on me tightened.

“You too Jiyong!” Kiko then placed a hand on her flat belly and said, “I will try to help you find your happy ending, I promise.”

Then

I

Knew

.

I got out of the car and looked at my house. Looked at the front pouch. The occurrences of that night, the nightmares of that night seemed as fresh as if it had just happened. No, there was no physical evidence. But the ghostly hollow of what Dean did to me seemed to echo throughout the place. No one seemed to recognize my hesitation.

“ this” I heard someone mumble. Ah, no one but Jiyong.

“Can we please just take her somewhere else?” He asked my dad. “I don’t want to leave her here. I’ll take her to my place” He rushed out.

“No!” I denied before anyone else can say anything to that. Jiyong’s eyebrows rose at that. Both of them.

“Can I just go live with you guys” I asked my parents.

“Sure”

I could feel Jiyong’s eyes boring holes into my back. “Its fine if you don’t come” I told Jiyong. “I’ll go in their car”

“Chaerin-?” I shook my head telling him to stop. Please don’t ask me anything.

I turned around and looked into his eyes. Those beautiful eyes. Gulped down the cry that evoke in me, knowing…knowing.

You’ll be a great dad.

But please don’t ask me to stay and watch you build a family with Kiko.

I don’t have it in me.

I’ll cherish every moment I spent with you.

I can never forget you. I hope you return the favour.

“Bye” I mumbled and got inside the car.

“Chaerin?” Dad asked when I settled down. “Just drive”

Mom sitting next to me laid her hand on my leg. I looked up at her and saw…understanding. She understood.

“Oh mom!” I cried leaping into her arms. 

---

^-^ <3 

Update may take a while x.x sorry. #WritersBlock? Yeah that.