It was a month or two that time,  I could still remember how I cried myself to sleep because Lu Han never bothered calling me nor visiting me. I haven’t heard of him for that long and it hurt me a lot. I didnt get to see him in school as well and even when I asked his friends where he was, the only answer they could give me was a shrug or just an I don’t know.

I started sending him text messages telling him that I’ve missed him. Every day, I send him messages letting him know how my day went - but still, there were no replies, not even a single message saying that’s he’s fine. Honestly, those months were the saddest months I’ve encountered.

I decided to text him again and hoped that he would reply. I never gave up. I never did.

Lu Han, it has been months since that argument happened. Are you still mad at me? Are you that mad at me? If so, i'm really sorry with all my heart. Lu Han, I didn’t mean to hurt you, to offend you, or to make you feel different. Please Lu Han, just please talk to me. I feel so sad without you by my side. If I have done anything wrong, please let me know. Please tell me. Please talk to me. Please don’t push me away like this. Please.

And there it is again, my tears started streaming down my face. 

I could still remember the time when I thought that he finally came back to school. Everyone was talking about his comeback and everyone wanted a piece of word from him.

"I went back to china for two months because of some stuff. I’m really sorry that i didn’t get to tell you immediately. The professors knew it, though." he said, loud and clear for everyone to hear.

I didn’t look at his way.  I knew he was looking at me but I was so hurt that I don’t have the strength to even look back at him. I’m his girlfriend and at some point I know that he should’ve told me about it first.

"Juhyun!" he jogged forward and held my hand.

"I’m really sorry. I--"

"You're two months late, you know that? We're done, Lu han and I know that you know that. You could’ve thought of the consequences before you left without letting me know. Are you really expecting me to forgive you just like that? Well, surprise."

I could remember how his face reacted when he heard me say "we're done". I didn’t mean to hurt him in any way, but at the same time, I wanted to let him know how much I have suffered as well.

"We’re not done, Juhyun. Come on, hear me out. I didn’t mean to hurt you that day. I even wanted to tell you something important. I will never hurt you and you know that too. I wanted to tell you but--"

"But, what?"

"This isn’t probably the right time especially now that I’m too late."

"Yeah, because there's no longer a RIGHT TIME for us. Stop fooling me. If you don’t like me anymore then you may leave. That’s what you’re good at anyway.”

"What did you say?" he stiffened.

"Stop making me feel that you’re head over heels over me. Stop making me feel that in a minute I’m the most important girl and another minute I’m a trash. I love you so much and you know that. That night, I know there was something bothering you. I want to know, I want to help you, I want you to know that I will always be with you no ma