“Werewolves? You really believe in the existence of werewolves?” I nearly strangled myself holding back my laughter as I asked the question. While I knew that in retail the customer was always right, I didn’t know if this mantra applied to the campers who had hired me to serve as a guide.

In this case, they were definitely wrong, and I just couldn’t be silent about it.

Several of us were sitting by the campfire with Dr. Won. The rest of our day had gone pretty much like that morning: trudging through the forest, stopping for a break, trudging on.

Until we’d reached this large clearing and Yi Fan had announced we’d set up camp here. It had been dusk by then. Now it was night and we were toasting marshmallows. Cliché, but hell, they were good.

Dr. Won had been regaling us with ancient tales about werewolves, which had been fascinating—absurd, but fascinating—and then he’d segued into talking about wolves spotted in the wilderness around here. Wolves he was convinced were, in reality, werewolves.

He believed this particular national forest was their hunting ground, where they hid away from the real world.

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Dr. Won asked now, in answer to my question. He was sitting on a little folding stool, looking very professorial. All he needed was a red bow tie.

“Every culture has a legend about man shifting into an animal shape. Legends are rooted in fact.”

“I’m with Ye Jin on this one,” Bora said, sitting beside Suho. “Werewolves exist only in fiction. And for god sake we are living in 21st century.”

“I don’t know,” Suho said. “Dr. Won could be onto something here. There was a guy in my dorm that could have been a werewolf. He never shaved, cut his hair, or bathed. It was hard to call him human.”

I bit back more laughter. Apparently none of us were taking his theories seriously.

“But what if it is true? That werewolves exist and they inhabit this forest?” Mason asked. He was sitting on a log beside me. He was very particular about his marshmallows, toasting them slowly and carefully to a golden brown. On a good day, I didn’t have that much patience.

Tonight I was so tired that I had none at all. My marshmallows were quickly poked into the fire and tossed into my mouth.

“Then we’re all doomed to die,” I quipped in an evil horror-movie scientist kind of way. All I needed was a flash of lightning and a boom of thunder for effect.

Suho and Bora chuckled at my theatrical display. The prof’s students even smiled.

“Or we all turn into werewolves,” Yi Fan said ominously. He wasn’t sitting in our circle, but was leaning against a tree. “Isn’t that how it works, Professor? A werewolf bites you and then you become one?”

“That’s one possibility. The other is that it’s genetic. Werewolves are born with some sort of genetic mutation—”

“What? Like in X-Men? Or Ninja Turtle?” Yi Fan interrupted with a smirk.

“Even fiction has an element of truth in it,” Dr. Won insisted.

“But why are the werewolves the ‘mutations’?” Yi Fan made little quote marks in the air. “What if everyone else is the real mutation? Maybe we all started out as werewolves.”

“Interesting theory, but if that were the case, they’d be the dominant species, don’t you think? They’d be hunting us instead of us hunting them.”

“We’re hunting them?” Chanyeol challenged.

“I gave the wrong impression,” Dr. Won said. “Discovering them is what I was referring to.”

“If they don’t want to be discovered , maybe they’ll come after us,” Min Ji said. “What then?”

“I don’t think we have anything to worry about tonight,” Yi Fan said, glancing up at the sky. “No full moon.”

“That works only if the transformation is lunar controlled,” Dr. Won said. “What if they could transform at will?”

“Then I’d say we’re in big trouble.” His delivery was deadpan, and I wasn’t sure if he was serious or teasing.

“You’re not buying into this, are you?” I asked. Yi Fan was the last one I thought would swallow this ridiculous notion of werewolves.

He winked at me and my heart gave a little tug. “Just know that when I zip up my tent tonight, I’m not leaving it until morning.”

“Tents won’t stop a werewolf,” Mason said, before blowing on his perfect marshmallow.

“There’s never been a documented account of a healthy wolf attacking a human,” Yi Fan challenged him.

“We’re not talking wolves, dude,” Mason said sharply, turning to glare at Yi Fan. When he did, his stick took a dip and his gooey marshmallow landed in the dirt.

I didn’t know why that bothered me. All that work for nothing, maybe. “We’re talking werewolves . A person who turns into a beast. They’re out there, and we’re going to prove it.”

And earlier you questioned my being in therapy?

“Is that what this expedition is about?” Yi Fan asked in a deadly calm voice that sent a shiver racing up my spine.

“Mason is just a little overzealous,” Dr. Won said. “We are hoping to see some wolves and perhaps study them. I’ll admit to being fascinated by the notion of lycanthropy. Do I truly believe it exists? No, of course not, but I like to be open-minded enough to leave room for the possibility.”

“Wolves were extinct in this area until about twenty years ago, when a few were brought in to repopulate the area. The original wolves have probably died off by now, but their descendents have flourished. They’re a protected species,” Yi Fan said.

“We’re not going to harm them,” Dr. Won assured Yi Fan.

“Well, then, maybe you’ll get lucky and see some.” Yi Fan shoved away from the tree. “We’ve got an early start tomorrow. I’m going to bed. Chanyeol, make sure everything is secure for the night.”

“You got it,” Chanyeol said, before popping a burned marshmallow into his mouth.

Once Yi Fan had gone into his tent, the tension around the campfire eased. I had a feeling I wasn’t the only one who thought Yi Fan and Mason were headed toward a brawl.

“Do you really believe in all that stuff?” I asked Mason.

Chuckling, he shook his head. “Nah, but wouldn’t it be cool?”

“They’re always a little rabid in the movies,” I reminded him.

“A wolf bit me once,” he announced.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He leaned down and rolled up his pants leg. There on his calf was a horrible scar.

“Took a chunk.”

“Mason has been studying wolves ever since,” Dr. Won said, his voice echoing a sense of pride.

“But Yi Fan said there were no documented accounts of wolf attacks.”

“Guess he doesn’t know everything,” Mason said quietly, and it sent a shiver through me.

“So do you turn into a werewolf when there’s a full moon?” Bora asked.

Mason snorted. “I wish.”

“I always root for the werewolves,” Bora replied. “They get such a bad rap in movies. Demons from hell. I think they’re a metaphor for how badly we treat people who are different.”

“It’s just fiction, Bora,” Suho said. “No subliminal messages or great truths revealed. And anyway, a girl isn’t going to scream and snuggle up against you if you’re watching a movie where the werewolf is sweet and understanding.”

“But there’s a bias against them. They’re always the bad guy. Just once, I’d like to see a werewolf portrayed as heroic.”

“You really take it personally,” Mason said, starting to toast his next marshmallow.

“What can I say? I like canines.”

“Vampires get the same bad rap,” Min Ji said. “Are you going to defend them?”

“There are lots of vampires who are portrayed in movies as fighting their addiction to blood, trying to be noble. I’m just saying it would be nice to see a noble werewolf in a movie once in a while.”

“They always lose their humanity when they transform,” Mason said distractedly. He removed his perfect marshmallow from the fire and glanced around. “Or at least that’s the way it is in the movies.”

“In all the legends, werewolves do horrible, unforgivable things,” Dr. Won said. “It’s only natural that Hollywood would incorporate those fears in its storytelling.”

“Still,” Bora mumbled, but she seemed to have given up arguing on behalf of werewolves. It was silly anyway. It was, after all, only make-believe.

Mason offered me his lightly browned marshmallow. “I can’t take it,” I told him. “You worked too hard to get it just right.”

“Because I wanted it perfect for you.”

How could I refuse? I popped it into my mouth. It was heavenly. I smiled at him. He smiled back. When we weren’t discussing werewolves—and Yi Fan wasn’t around—I enjoyed being with Mason. And he was safe. He didn’t make me want to do things I shouldn’t do— things that went way beyond a kiss.

After Min Ji, Bora, and I got into our tent, Min Ji stretched out on her sleeping bag, rolled over, and went to sleep without a word. I quirked an eyebrow at Bora. She shrugged.

“Something is bothering her. I don’t know what.”

We got into our own sleeping bags. Bora turned out our main lantern and a small penlight. It cast a ghostly glow.

“So what’s up with you and Mason?” she asked quietly.

“I’m not sure. I mean, I like him.”

“You need to be careful. Some guys think that sherpas are only for hooking up—that we’re easy.”

“I don’t think Mason’s like that. And I’m definitely not easy.”

“Just be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt on your first expedition.”

“I might hang out with him, but I would never get serious with someone I may never see again.”

“Yeah, that’s what they all say,” Min Ji muttered.

“Thought you were asleep,” Bora said.

“How can I sleep with you two yammering?”

Bora stuck out her tongue at Min Ji’s back. I stifled a giggle. Bora settled down into her bag. “Just be careful,” she whispered before curling up to go to sleep.

I stared at the tent ceiling. Bora wanted the penlight on to serve as our nightlight. I’d learned last summer when we were out in the wilds that she wasn’t a big fan of absolute darkness.

Late at night, after my parents went to sleep, I’d snuck out and crawled into Bora’s tent. We’d talked for hours about school, clothes, and guys. She was the first person outside of my family who I’d ever told about my parents getting killed. For some reason, except for last night, I didn’t have the nightmares when I was around Bora—maybe because she didn’t define me by my past.

In some ways, she was far more accepting than my therapist.

I’d met Min Ji last summer as well, but I didn’t feel as close to her. Maybe because I sensed that she had her own issues. She was snoring now. It was similar to the sound my cat at home, Fargo, made.

But it wasn’t the light or the noise that was keeping me awake. It was wolves. They weren’t howling, but I had a feeling they were lurking nearby. If what Yi Fan said was correct, they’d been in these woods for only twenty years. Long enough to have been around when my original parents and I had come camping that long-ago summer. Had those hunters seen them?

Were we hiking near where the wolves had been, near where my parents had died?

I hadn’t wanted to visit the spot last summer. I wasn’t ready for that. Besides, no one had seemed to remember where it had happened. Or so they had said. Maybe they were afraid the trauma would be too much for me. But tonight, I was remembering low-throated growling and snarling that weren’t dream-induced. Had we been running from wolves? But Yi Fan had said they never attacked people, so my strange musings made no sense.

What had really happened that day?

I threw back the top of the sleeping bag and sat up. I suddenly felt as though I had to get out of the tent. I hadn’t bothered to undress earlier, so all I had to do was put on my hiking boots. When they were securely tied, I grabbed my flashlight. As quietly as I could, I ped the tent opening and slipped outside.

A couple of lanterns had been left on, but no one was around. I didn’t want company. I just wanted . . .

I didn’t know what I wanted.

Face your fears, Dr. Il Jung had urged me. It would be a lot easier to do if I knew exactly what those fears were. I honestly didn’t have a clue. I just had a sense that something momentous was on the horizon, that I was poised on the edge of change.

I didn’t know what to expect, but I felt as though it was connected to my past and would influence my future. I had questions, but no answers—fear without justification.

I skirted around the side of the tent and headed into the forest. I’d taken only a couple of steps before I heard low voices. They were nearby, near one of the other tents.

I knew it was none of my business, but I crept closer.

“I know, Dad. God, how many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” I recognized the voice. It was Mason.

“We don’t want to raise any suspicions.”

“You’re the one who started talking about werewolves.”

“As legend.”

“But you were sounding like a preacher, preaching the gospel of werewolves. That’s the reason Ye Jin asked you if you believed in them. You did just as much damage as I did.”

“We just need to stay alert and be more careful about what we say to them.”

“Like I said, I’m not the one who started it.”

“Seriously, Mason, any of our guides could be one.”

I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud.

“My money’s on Yi Fan,” Mason said, and I was even more shocked. “That guy is too quiet. It’s eerie how he can get so still. Why does he keep disappearing, every time we stop to rest? What does he do when he’s gone?”

“We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”

I stood there, stunned, while their voices got quieter as they walked away toward their tents.

What were they saying? That they thought the sherpas were werewolves? That Yi Fan was a werewolf?

The whole idea of people morphing into animals was ludicrous, but the thought of anyone truly believing it was frightening. I thought about all the equipment they were carrying.

Was there a cage inside that large crate? Were they going to try to capture a wolf? And when they realized the wolf was just a wolf . . . what then?

I knew people believed in all kinds of things that didn’t exist, but this seemed a little out there.

As quietly and cautiously as possible, I crept toward the trees. I certainly didn’t want them to hear me, to know that I’d overheard their conversation. I didn’t think they’d kill me to silence me or anything crazy like that, but I was a little spooked that they seemed to be on a werewolfhunting expedition.

Although where was the real harm? People searched the skies for UFOs.

Some believed they’d been probed by aliens or been in a spaceship. Others invested in fancy equipment to detect the existence of ghosts. I guessed it wasn’t so strange that someone would believe in werewolves. I thought it was loony tunes, but as long as they didn’t hurt anyone, I supposed they had as much right as anyone to explore the forest.

When I thought I was far enough away not to be detected, I switched on the flashlight. It provided a reassuring light, but strangely I was as comforted by the trees surrounding me as by anything else. I heard the leaves rustling in the breeze almost like a lullaby.

For a crazy moment, I thought I could hear my mother singing. I didn’t believe in ghosts, but I believed that the soul or the spirit or whatever made us who we were lived beyond death. So maybe believing in werewolves wasn’t so crazy after all.

“Going somewhere, City Girl?”

I swung the beam of the flashlight around to where the voice originated. Yi Fan was standing beside me. I hadn’t heard him approach. How had he arrived so quietly?

I pressed my hand to my chest, where my rapidly pounding heart was threatening to crack a rib.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack.” My voice held accusation—rightly so.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“So you thought it was a good idea to wander from camp?”

“I wasn’t wandering. I was just—” Why was I explaining myself? I narrowed my eyes at him.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Couldn’t sleep either. What was keeping you awake?”

Having regretted being so open with Mason earlier, I decided to be vague. “Just a lot on my mind.”

“Your parents were killed out here, right?”

His voice held sympathy and understanding.

“How did you know?” I asked.

“Heard something about it last summer. We were told why you were here. So we wouldn’t say something insensitive when we were guiding you through the wilderness. Must have been hard coming back here.”

I nodded, my throat suddenly thick with unshed tears. “Yeah.”

“If you want to walk some more, I’ll walk with you.”

“Thanks, but . . . I’m not really in the mood for company.”

“No talking. Just walking. I can keep an eye out, keep you safe.”

“And if we get lost?”

“I know these woods like the back of my hand. When you grow up in Jeju, the national forest is your playground.”

“Okay, yeah. If you don’t mind. I just need to wander for a while.” I started walking and he fell into step beside me. I didn’t like to admit it, but he was way more comforting than the trees or the beam of my flashlight.

It was actually kind of nice just having him there, not needing to keep

up a conversation or anything.

It was strange, but as we walked along, I was able to smell the unique scent of his skin. It was an earthy smell like the woods around us. It was pleasant, powerful, and y.

I couldn’t believe how quiet he was. I swept my flashlight back for a second. He was barefoot.

“Isn’t that a little dangerous?” I asked as I redirected my light forward.

“My feet are tough. I’ve gone barefoot since I was a kid.”

“You move so quietly.”

“Had to learn to do that. Suho, Chanyeol, and I used to play war games with the other kids. The only way to win was to be able to sneak up on people undetected.”

“And you like to win.”

“Absolutely. No point in playing if your goal is to lose.”

I came to a stop and leaned my back against a tree. I pointed the flashlight down so we had light but our faces were lost in the shadows. But still I felt him watching me. “Do you have any bad memories?” I asked.

He had an idea about mine. I wanted us on even ground.

“Everyone has some bad memories,” he said.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Yeah, I’ve got some.”

His voice held no emotion, and I knew he wasn’t about to talk about them, but knowing that he had them was enough. I sighed heavily. “I was with them when they were killed. My parents. But I don’t really remember what happened. I remember the echo of the gunshots. They were so loud. And then my parents were dead. It’s been driving me crazy lately, ever since I came back

to the forest this year. Last year it was like I was inside a bubble, trying to insulate myself from the past. I didn’t want to face it. But this year it’s different. It’s as though something inside me wants to break free. I can’t explain it, but I feel like I’m on the verge of remembering something really important.”

He moved closer to me and skimmed his knuckles along my cheek.

Until that moment, I didn’t realize I was crying. I released a short burst of embarrassed laughter. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lay all that heavy stuff on you.”

“That’s okay. It has to be difficult, being back here again. I love these woods. You must hate them.”

“You’d think I would, but I don’t. In a way, when I’m here, I feel a connection to my parents.”

He kept silent. In an odd way, it made me think better of him for not trying to say something, because anything would have been trite. I felt like maybe I should pull away, but I didn’t. Even if he felt my pain, he couldn’t experience it.

“According to my therapist, I’m supposed to face what happened, but I just want to forget it. I get these nightmares . . . they make no sense.”

His knuckles were touching my face again, but his thumb was the curve of my cheek. It was incredibly soothing. Even in the darkness, his eyes held mine.

“Was it night or day?” he asked quietly.

“Night. But just barely. The tail end of dusk. Light enough to see, but not to see everything. Not yet dark enough for a flashlight.”

“You were all together?”

“Yeah, they wanted to show me something. We’d left the others.” I blinked and tried to draw up the memory. “I’d forgotten there were others.” Who were they? Family? No, they would have taken me in. Friends? I shook my head.

“I don’t know who they were. Do you think it’s important?”

“I’m not a therapist. What did your parents want to show you?”

“I can’t remember. I was scared about something. I’d seen something. I don’t know.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it. If it’s important, it’ll come to you.”

“I thought you weren’t a shrink.”

“I’m not, but I know that sometimes trying too hard is worse than not trying at all.”

“That makes no sense.”

His teeth flashed white in the darkness. I almost pointed my flashlight up, just to see that smile for real. Out here, away from everyone else, when he wasn’t the leader, when he was just a guy, he wasn’t nearly as intimidating.

“So why couldn’t you sleep?” I asked. Assuming his earlier answer hadn’t simply been a mocking repeat of mine.

“All that talk about werewolves. Had me shaking in my hiking boots.”

He made me smile. “Yeah, right. You’re afraid of the big, bad werewolf.”

He grinned. He had an incredibly y grin.

“They think you’re a werewolf,” I said and went on to explain, “Dr. Won and Mason.”

“Do they?” I heard the amusement in his voice.

“You think it’s funny.”

“As long as they’re not carrying silver bullets.”

“Oh, great. You truly believe all that stuff, too?”

“No, but I don’t want them shooting at any wolves we might happen to come across.”

“You’re protective of them.”

“I’ve spent a lot of time in these woods. You get to know the animals. I don’t want to see them hurt. Just like I wouldn’t want to see you hurt.”

He lowered his head just a little and I had this incredible realization that he was going to kiss me. Not only that—I desperately wanted him to.

A sudden howling in the distance made us both go still. It was a lonely sound. For some strange reason, it made me think of an animal in mourning.

“We should probably head back,” Yi Fan said quietly, putting distance between us.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

I directed the flashlight toward the path.

“Actually, it’s this way,” Yi Fan said, taking my hand and guiding me in the right direction.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten turned around, but I followed his lead. Soon, I could see the dim lights of our campsite.

“Thanks for going with me,” I said when I got to my tent.

“Any time you need to go for a walk at night, just let me know. It’s not safe to go out alone.”

It wasn’t until I was curled back into my sleeping bag that I recalled he’d been out there alone.

Why was it safe for him and not for me?

Then I heard another howling wolf. This one was much closer, so close that I could have sworn it was just outside our tent. I thought I should have been afraid. Instead, just like when I’d been walking with Yi Fan, I felt comforted.

After I drifted off to sleep, for the first time in a long time, when I dreamed about wolves I didn’t wake up screaming.