"the date has been set..... we're going to be married by the end of this month!" changjo said as he smile happily while holding my hand. I try to be happy but it's no use. 

"aren't you happy?" changjo ask as he look at me curiously. I'm sure the expression on my face showed everything.

"it's not that...... it just...... you know....." I try to explain but somehow my tongue seems to freeze.

"because our marriage is just a part of business deal? and you don't really have feelings for me?" He guessed.

"changjo...."

"you know what? you told me at that time that you accepted my proposal because you don't care about love. You are willing to marry me because you don't feel like love is important in marriage life. you accept it coolly but after that day........ you seems to change." changjo said and his tone was a bit stiff.

"who's that guy?" he ask as he look directly into my eyes.

"what are you talking about?" I'm pretending to be clueless although I know exactly what he mean.

"don't pretend to know nothing..... you, yourself know what happen on that particular day. who's that guy? you're having an affair behind my back at that time.... don't you remember?" 

Changjo hold both of my arms tightly not letting go.

"he's a nobody" I answer nervously.

"Lee Chanhee!!!!" He started screaming my name and I am starting to feel the chill. I know he wants to hear the truth from my mouth but what's the use? he'll only be hurting himself.

"let's stop this conversation, please?" I plead as I'm trying to loose his hands from my arm but it's a fail as he started to hold it tighter.

"be honest with me, chanhee. please...." He begged me this time.

I feel sad and miserable right now. At that time when both of our fathers decide to tight knot between us as a part of the business deal, I accepted it without thinking twice. I thought love was nothing. I never know what is the meaning of love at that time. I just thought that I'll be happy as long as I have someone like changjo who loves me dearly and cared for me.

But guess what? maybe God trying to showed to me that love doesn't mean nothing at all.

On that one particular day, it was raining cats and dogs. I ran to the bus stop to get sheltered but I trip and fell to the ground. Someone help me up and as I look at the one that helps me, it was a boy with a cute and innocence looking face. Our eyes met and my heart started to pump like mad. I don't know why but the feeling lingering in me at that time was surprisingly warmth. I look at him without a blinkand my sight was removed when the bus arrived beside me. He step on the bus leaving me behind and the bus left soon after. I was thinking, maybe I should braven myself to speak to him when the next time I see him again. I was trying to do so until a honk wake me up from my imaginary planned. A honk from a car that belongs to my fiancee, that was none other than changjo. At that time, I realized. I was engaged and I was about to get married. what the hell am I thinking? I can't cheat on him.

After that day, every time I wait at the bus stop for changjo, he was there waiting for the bus while listening to his music. I wonder what kind of music he preferred? I wanted to know it badly but I restrained myself immediately. i am engaged! I can't do this! I set a code in my mind to stop myself.

Everyday since that, I'll always look at him. same time, same place, he was there standing calmly waiting for the bus. but I didn't try to do anything because I know that I belongs to someone else and i need to be loyal to my fiancee. I feel frustrated and depressed to think that I didn't get to find the real meaning of love before my marriage. I feel hopeless and gloomy until the boy approach me. He was beside me as he look at me. I was shock of course. why is he looking at me?

"can we be friend?" His sudden yet random question are making me speechless.

"I like you and if you don't mind.... can we go out?" another unpredictable question coming out from his mouth. Stunned, surprised and speechless are all lingering in me. I wanted to decline but the devil inside me said that i should just say yes. it's like once in a lifetime oppurtunity. I don't wanna lose him, like sincerely. A nod from me is enough to make his smile shining beautifully. 

We went to the cafe near the bus stop and we chat. it was surprisingly comfy and I like being with him. He introduced himself as Byunghun and I introduced myself. as the time goes by, laughing and chatting happily with him are making me sick. I feel like a total jerk. I was misleading him. He likes me and I can see the hope and expectation he wants from me but what will his reacion be if he finds out that I'm engaged to someone else? I wanted to stop but I can't! It hurts me to know that the truths are going to hurt him.

"chanhee..."

a call from behind of me are giving me a chill on my spine. I familiar with that voice. It was changjo and as I turn back, my prediction was right. It is changjo. He stand beside me as he look at byunghun and byunghun look at him before he look at me. "who is this friend of yours?" Byunghun asked.

without hesitate, I told him the hurtful truth. "byunghun, this is my fiancee" 

I can still remember the looks on his face. he was shocked and dissappointed. I just toying with his heart and I felt horrible like I should bury my head in the ground. Byunghun didn't say a word and  he run away soon after leaving me, without looking back. I just look as his back can no longer be seen.

why am I doing this? i love him but I hurt him?what is wrong with me?

I get up from my chair and I decide to chase him until changjo hold my wrist, stopping me.

"what are you doing? we are going to UK in just a couple of hours."changjo said and he pulled me out from the cafe.

That was the last time I see Byunghun. After I broke his heart just like that, I wouldn't dare to face him anymore. I wish, I'll never see him again.

"chanhee...." changjo call my name. he won't give up until I tell him the truth.

"I love him!" I said firmly and changjo was extremely shock. You want the truth aren't you? so I'm giving you the truth. i know it's harsh but I can't lie to him anymore. thats what I thought.

"when I accepted your proposal, I never thought about love seriously but then.... I met him. it was an accident in the first place but I started to fall for him. I know I shouldn't be doing that behind your back but it's hard for me to stop myself. the later I found out, i've fell for him deeply. that day was our first meeting and conversation...... and also the last. I've broke his heart and now, he'll hate me forever in his life." I said it sadly. I feel like tears coming out out from my eyes but I try to hold it for not letting changjo see it.

changjo was silence for a few minutes. I understand! He must be dissappointed in me as well. yes, I'm a total jerk. I know that!

"everything in the past now right? you are going to marry me now so throw away all the stuffs in your head right now except for our wedding. I'm not letting you go no matter what so keep that in mind." he said firmly before he left the room silently.

I was shock with his sentenced. eventhough I cheated on him, he still going to marry me? Changjo... are you in your right mind?