Still Minho’s pov

I drove to Happy Hours slowly, with a sense of gratitude towards the rush hour traffic for the first time. The bar was busy with Basketball fans, and Gwiboon, Sunny and Jjong were rushing about. Gwiboon came strutting up to me the second I when through the door.

‘Where have you been? Where’s Jinki! Is he okay? Sunny is such a . We haven’t got enough staff! We called up Taemin to come help and we’re paying him double since he’s only meant to work Saturday lunchtime, but he’s completely failing and giving everyone the wrong orders.’

‘Gwiboon,’ I said calmly, putting both my hands on her shoulders. ‘Calm down, you’re a big girl, you can handle this. I’m not working tonight, I have to sort out. Jinki is not good, I’m going to go back to him in a little while, but I need to find Subin. Now, do you know who she is.’

Gwiboon fanned her face. ‘Um, Subin’s upstairs in your flat. She tried to help but she was kinda getting in the way so we sent her upstairs.’

I smiled, ‘her talents don’t really lie in rushing. She’s a very peaceful person.’

Gwiboon nodded, ‘hurry back to Jinki, I’m worried about him.’ She slapped me on the back, and walked off.

I steadied myself and walked towards the door that lead upstairs. My heart beat faster with every step. There was no way this could turn out well, and I was bracing myself for it.

Once I was halfway up the stairs I could hear the murmur of the tv set. She was watching a documentary again. I could hear monkeys.

‘Oh, Hubby!’ She smiled at me from the couch, patting the spot next to her. She looked pleasantly comfortable, with a clean face and tracksuit bottoms on. Her hair was tied up on the top of her head with a purple hair elastic. ‘Is Jinki-Oppa okay? I do worry about him, he always looks so sad.’

I sighed. ‘How did everyone realise he was sad apart from me?’ I sat down next to Subin. She turned herself on the couch to sit facing me cross legged.

‘I think you don’t always see the issues Jinki has because when you look at him you don’t see his issues, you seem to only see the good at him, you know?’ She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear bashfully. She was always like that around me. She truly was the most beautiful woman. If I loved her we could be happy for the next hundred years; she had the kind of personality and face which you could tell would only improve with age.

‘I only see the good?’

‘Um-hum. He’s your best friend, so it makes sense. But I can tell when you look at him you don’t think “oh he looks sad” you just think “oh, there goes my friend, do you think he wants to hang out tonight?”, it’s just a mindset you’re in. Kinda like parent and child, but you’re almost both the parents because I’ve seen you both look after each other. It’s like an unconditional love,’ Subin laughed, ‘don’t worry, I think it’s cute. But I honestly believe if Jinki killed someone in cold blood you would probably escape the country with him’ - I would - ‘but I’d hope now we’re married you’d let me come too!’

I took a breath in. ‘Subin we need to talk.’

‘‘Bout what Oppa?’ She asked, still smiling.

‘I-’ I made the mistake of looking at her big puppy eyes, stopping me from getting the rest of the sentence out.

Subin calmly pointed the remote at the tv, and turned off her program. ‘What is it?’ She asked a little more seriously than she had before. She still seemed too cheerful, too happy.

‘Iwannagetdivorced.’

‘Pardon? What did you say honey?’ Subin asked happily.

‘I...’ I took a breath in, and pictured Jinki’s face. He wasn’t the reason for this divorce, he was just the reason I was choosing this moment. ‘I want to get divorced.’

Subin’s eyes grew as big as saucers. She looked distant, and then way too engaged with the situation.

‘Is there another woman?’

‘No.’ My mind flickered to Jinki, but then I was yet again reminded that he wasn’t the reason for this. I couldn’t tell her about the situation, it was too complex, and I didn’t want Jinki to become the hated rebound. If anything Subin had been the rebound in the first place.

‘Then why! I’ve been a good wife! I let you go out with your friend, I don’t complain when you work late, I cook you breakfast-’

‘It’s cliched, but it’s honestly not you!’ I grabbed Subin’s hands but she pushed me off. She got up and walked across the room, raising both her hands and pushing back her hair which was already tied back. ‘Subin, I’m sorry, and it’s me but I can’t do this, I… I don’t love you. I’m sorry, I think I never did, and it’s my fault that I’m hurting you, but I really can’t do this anymore!’

‘You’ve never loved me?’ Subin screamed, ‘why did you marry me? You asked me!’

‘I-I don’t know! But I’m sorry, I really am, I never thought about my feelings, and I just wanted a wife because I thought that was the right next step in life.’

Subin pulled on the sides of her head causing her bun to shift out of place. ‘God. Oh god.’

‘I… I’m going to file the divorce tomorrow, you can stay here as long as you want. I’m going to go live with Jinki until you’ve moved out-’

‘Minho!’ Subin screamed. ‘You can’t get rid of me this quickly, I love you and we will work through this! I’ll give you time, just please! Stay married to me!’

‘No, Subin, I can’t! I need to reevaluate life as a whole before I can even breathe again!’ That wasn’t the truth. The truth was that I wasn’t going to try with her because Jinki was more important to me than Subin. Subin was an accident, Subin had said it herself, Jinki was unconditionally mine in some sense or another. Not romantic love. Not mine in a boyfriend way. Mine in a way I think we would end up together in every lifetime; We’d still be friends in the Josen era, a dog and his master on a 1950s farm, a husband and wife in the 1800s and probably even dinosaurs who lived in a close area in the Jurassic era.

‘Minho, please!’ She was crying now, ‘please don’t walk out, please!’

‘Subin I don’t love you!’

She was sobbing uncontrollably. I ran into our room, grabbing a duffle bag, and shoving everything I could think of: a laptop, a passport, birth certificate, photo albums, clothes, games systems. I wasn’t clearly thinking, I was forgetting things. I grabbed the bag, and walked back across the living room, Subin was sobbing on the floor.

‘Minho!’

‘I’m sorry.’ And with that I left.

Sad right? :(

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