If there was one thing D.O. hated about having to share a room with Chen it would have to be his weird obsession with music from the 80's and 90's. I mean... there has gotta be something wrong with him when he comes out of the shower belting out "Do you really want to hurt meeeee!" Yeah everyone likes Culture Club, but it definitely isn't meant to be sang five of the six days of the week (yes D.O. does not count Sunday as a real day considering as he named it "national anime day", and thus it is better than the other days... Ain't nobody mess with D.O. watching his anime on a Sunday.). D.O could go on about this... but decides that the point is already across well enough.

Most times D.O. is a pretty reasonable guy (key emphasis on most) but he thinks it definitely crosses several boundaries when Chen has his music blaring. Like... why can't you just use headphones?

D.O. does in fact say this, but then realizes his mistake after Chen, with headphones in, begins to hum along to the tune of a Beach Boys song... And when Chen hums, it is rare that it ever is not off tune.

After D.O. made this grievous error he decides that he has in fact had enough of his roommate, and stalks over to their shared closet to grab a sweater.

It is now rather important to realize that both D.O. and Chen have their own preferences in clothing, D.O.'s style border-lining on grandpa-chic, and Chen's well past the realm of what is deemed wearable by D.O. So it is only normal that when D.O. opens the closet door and is hit by a wave of old outdated legwarmers, presumably gifted by his mother when he was twelve, rainboots, and an odd assortment of hats ranging from straw hats to the kind of hat an old ahjussi would wear out fishing, that D.O. feels a sudden need for fresh air after being hit head on with some long forgotten vertigo which he had gotten from his mother's side.

Chen, on the otherhand, also had some serious issues with D.O. habits. D.O was the reason why Chen had spent many a lonely night out on the sofa, blocking out the voices of Tao and Sehun as they gossiped over whatever k-drama they were watching currently, as he shivered in fear.  The reason for this was none other than D.O. watching his animes. Chen was over exaggerating to a point, but when asked why he would only mutter darkly, shaking his head all the while, "t-the way he laughs... its like he's.... possessed." After that no one questioned why Chen had dark circles under his eyes. Why D.O. laughs or chuckles sadistically at three in the morning... only Chen would know.

~~~~~~~~

One would think that the two most happy-go-lucky members in Exo would be perfect roommates... but this was, unfortunately, not the case in Luhan and Lay's room. Luhan always was one for late night talks, finding the darkness a good place to vent on the maknae's lack of respect, or even to reminisce over their time in training, but Lay was not, opting rather to listen to some light ambience before letting it take him off to dreamland. He claimed that the right music could give you different dreams, and that ambience was the right way to go for lucid dreaming. Thus Luhan was still going on about whatever random topic his ed up brain led him to.

"Yeah and that one time when we had Chen's hermit crabs race!" Insert loud guffaw "I lost a ton of money that day... Hey, Lay.... Lay." This goes on for a couple seconds before Luhan notices that Lay was already snoozing and sighing loudly he turns on his own music, to an acceptable level of loudness (The last time he had his reggae on too loud Suho wouldn't stop pounding on the wall they shared... *shudder* The wrath of Suho is greatly to be feared.).

If Luhan was a little smarter or more observant he would have noticed that Lay's earbuds were plugged into nothing and that he really wasn't sleeping. But the Luhan is ever oblivious to its surroundings.

Lay, after making sure that Luhan was fully asleep, turned off his reggae. (Only on a blue moon would Lay like his reggae, and only if it was real reggae, not some Bob Marley bull. Yes Lay was very particular about his reggae...call him a reggae hipster for all he cares) After this he plugged in his own select playlist of background music (All tested by him to give good dreams, mind you) to make sure that his LuLu wouldn't be plagued by his usual bout of nightmares. As it was Lay did too much for his roomie (ahem turning off his alarm clock without fail every morning... the idiot would never wake up and turn it off himself, he was that heavy a sleeper.)

Lay was the best roommate of course, though this was only from his perspective as Luhan did not find his habit of leaving on his lava lamp all night totally cool at all, claiming it gave him a 50-50 chance of having a good dream. (Lay was heavily mingled in dreamology, as he had taken a beginners course on it when he was in highschool, but it was actually a finance class and had nothing to do with dreaming at all. He also failed that class and had to take a remedial lesson in the summer. But lets not talk about that.) Luhan just figured that anyone is better than having to room with Suho.... There's a reason he has his own room to himself.

~~~~~~~~

Xiumin had had enough of his maknaes' antics. Yes. Him... the oldest in the dorm had been placed in a room of mindless, testosterone filled boys who smelled and left their clothes on the ground. Sehun and Kai. That was the demons' names. They were the source of his infinite list of woes and ever pounding headache. Now don't get Xiumin wrong... he's not an old man (half of fifty to be exact) its just that the two boys were rather immature for his tastes, and Sehun's never ending 'that's what she said' jokes (where they made no sense at all. Like really? I just learned my grandma has cancer and all you can say is that's what she said?! Gosh learn how to read a mood) and no he does not hold grudges, either. Xiumin just never forgets things. Sure... he'll forgive you, but he won't forget what you said about his sweater, that was sewn by his mother, nonetheless. *cough* Go rot in hell, Kai *cough* Not Xiumin, no, and not grudges either.

Occasionally Xiumin is awoken at odd hours of the night by strange sounds coming from Sehun's bed. Over time he has learned to simply accept this as a part of life. Sehun is obsessed with snacks, and one never knows when his cravings will strike. When the hunger sets in....Sehun eats....no matter how late it is, or where he his (unfortunately for Luhan's bed.) Sehun can be heard, and even smelled, eating a variety of treats including cottage cheese, chips, watermelon, and his very own homemade tuna salad on his bed. Xiumin often will guess what Sehun is eating in the darkness, and in the morning when he cleans Sehun's sheets he determines whether his guess was correct or not based on the crumbs left behind.

The thing was that Xiumin was a very responsible person and so he felt obligated to at least make sure that his maknaes had waken up on time for their schedules and always got to bed at an appropriate hour. Call him overbearing but he was only watching out for the wellbeing of his fellow members. That was all. Another thing about Xiumin was that he would never acknowledge his feelings about anything or one, and so he would never admit that rooming with with the two was actually quite interesting and slightly amusing (how is Kai getting his head stuck in his shirt not interesting and highly amusing... or Sehun desperately trying to keep the fact that he had a diary hidden? What could be more amusing than that?)

~~~~~~~~

"Heyyyy.... Baek." Chanyeol had no idea how to go about a mini confrontation with his rather fiesty roommate, Baekhyun. "D-do you think... that you... cansleepwithallyourclothesontonight?"

"Hmm? I didn't really catch that last part." Baekhyun said, not looking up from his laptop screen.

The problem was that Baekhyun... was a sleeper. Its not that Chanyeol had anything wrong with Baekhyun's body (the opposite rather, if you get what i mean) its just that he felt slightly uncomfortable knowing that should any robber break in or anything happen, say a fire, occur, Baekhyun would be forced to abandon ship in less than his boxers. Call him a worrier all you want but it was a serious concern for him. It could happen. And he would rather save Baekhyun and himself the embarrassment of finding photos leaked on the web. No thanks.

"I... was wondering.... if... you could at least wear some boxers perhaps?" Chanyeol's usually deep voice going up several octaves at the end of his question.

Baekhyun could only scoff lightly as he continued smashing keys on his laptop.

"When we became roommates, at your insistence I do believe, we agreed that there would be no judgment for my habits nor yours. Really now Chanyeol you don't see me whining at the terrible screeches you play before bed, do you?"

"Hey, don't go around bashing on my jazz, you hear?!" Baekhyun finally looked up from his screen, locking eyes with Chanyeol.

"Fine, but you better stop trying to make me sleep with clothes on, okay? I already explained to you why it is important to sleep , and why you should consider it too."  Chanyeol could only mumble a halfhearted 'fine' before turning on his jazz and shutting off the lights. He remembered thinking Baekhyun was a lunatic after he said he slept because it would help him grow taller, and also to air out. Saying a quick prayer that nothing bad happens to the dorm, with the memory of that time a couple fangirls broke in, he drifts of to bed, serenaded by the unpredictability of his jazz music, reminded of why he listens to it in the first place. He thinks its because it reminds him of Baekhyun... always doing the unexpected.

~~~~~~~~

Neither Tao nor Kris had any problems with each other... not any that they would admit without having the other ignore their existence for a week... but that was the type of balance in their room. Kris used to be annoyed not only with the fact that Tao just haaad to sleep with a nightlight on, and not only did it make the room too bright, but it also illuminated Tao's creepy habit of sleeping with his eyes open and facing Kris. Thankfully Kris was able to rectify this slight issue by buying eyes masks for both of them that were custom made to look like their own eyes. There was a time when Tao was constantly complaining that Kris snored "like a dragon" all night, which Kris vehemently denied. Kris complained about Tao's snoring as well, but of course Tao denied these accusations (both of them snore, and neither believe that they do.) After a few days of the snoring episode they decided to simply give up. Don't complain, just tolerate.

So here Kris was, trying his damnedest not to care that Tao had just used half of his very expensive facial cleanser on one of his nightly gay parties with Sehun... or that he had gotten water all over his new denim jacket... but here he was. Gone in a matter of seconds after his little Taozi had given him the look. The look that meant everything was over for Kris. With that one look the almighty Kris was pacified. Kris didn't even know how to explain it but... when Tao looked so sorry that he was close to crying, Duizzhang bent over backwards to ensure his happiness. Even if this meant not caring that his jacket would have water stains for the rest of its life (its still fashionable...right? Right!?) or that he would risk being called whipped by the others, he just wanted Tao to be happy.

Although that meant sacrificing his hard-earned cash for 'that new Gucci bag that looks exactly like my other fifteen' he would gladly do it for him, just because Tao was refreshingly innocent and genuinely looked up to him as a brother. So... being whipped in the eyes of the other ten was nothing compared to this.

~~~~~~~~

In the Exo dorm, only one person has the luxury of a room to himself. The fact that Suho rooms alone was a mystery to most of the members. The fact is....it is impossible to live with Suho. Suho is a compulsive clean freak. He has a mild obsession with cleaning products, and the killing of all germs. He also has a not so mild obsession with scents. Suho's room is full of scented candles, air deodorizer sprays, reed diffusers, incense, and oil burners. He often will use multiple of these candles and sprays at a time resulting in a horrible smell that can be quite stifling to one's lungs and upper respiratory system.

The only person who is never whines about Suho's living in a room alone, is Sehun. Sehun is the one member who knows first hand how living with Suho is detrimental to one's health, both physically and mentally. When Sehun had to live in the same room as Suho in the past he had to face many trials, which did prepare him for survival in the real world. Many a night Sehun thought he would die from the fumes. He also had to live with Suho's constant vacuuming with his tiny vacuum. Sehun will never forget when Suho had tried to vacuum the crumbs off of his stomach as he lay sleeping peacefully on his bed after a feast of an entire bag of salsa verde doritos.

Of course the worst part was the farting. Sure Sehun knows he farts alot more than your average person (probably due to constant sancking.) However, his farts though extremely noisy are never deadly, and they are scent free. Yes, his farts can be heard loud and clear throughout the day, but really if it has no smell what is the harm? Sadly, Suho did not feel that Sehun's farts were harmless. Sehun always felt persecuted for his young healthy bowels when he lived in Suho's room. Everytime he farted, even a small one, Suho would glare in disgust and spray lavender febreeze over the area that he deemed contaminated by the gaseous vapors (at Sehun's .)

"Suho! Leave me alone, it's a part of nature! It has no smell! IT'S JUST AIR!!"

"Air that has been in your colon, mingling with your feces. Air that I don't want to breathe."

"Your air freshener is making my asthma worse. Everyone farts, even you!"

"The bottle says safe for pets, and no, I don't fart unless I am in the bathroom or outdoors, like a normal person."

 

~~~~~~~~~

There are several nightly rituals that take place in the Exo dorm. One such ritual is the nighttime facials. Kris, Sehun, and Tao are the regular members who partake in this activity. They get together and use various face masks, peels, and exfoliating scrubs while gossiping about whatever happened earlier in the day.

As Kris, Sehun, and Tao are busy applying the clay skin mask which promises a healthy, radiant glow, Luhan walks into the bathroom.

"Ummm....guys...what the hell is all on your faces?" Luhan says in surprise.

"It's a facial mask to give us radiant skin obviously....problem?" Sehun says while rolling his eyes.

"You guys look like girls, are'nt you scared someone is gonna walk in on you?"

"Umm no, we love walk-in's, Chen hyung walked in and joined us last week, I think the seaweed mask did make him look more youthful." Tao repsonded happily.

"Oh yeah don't forget when Suho tried the honey-sugar mask that Lay made for us, and his face got all red and started molting like Chen's hermit crabs, and he had to wear a face mask for like two days.....that was the best." Kris said with a dreamy expression on his face as he recalled Suho's red face.

"Really, I can't believe you guys do this every night... This is all natural." He circled his face before sauntering off after successfully annoying the trio to no end.

~~~~~~~~

Another nightly ritual in exo's dorm is Tao and Sehun's k-drama fest. Some nights it would be some sappy k-drama (which would undoubtedly bring Tao to tears... and maybe even Sehun though he would never admit to it) other nights a funny anime, but the worst nights were when they kicked off the couch, by their hyungs.

As if one cue, Xiumin, Chanyeol, and D.O walk in, arms loaded with snacks and pop, and their movie.

"Um... guys." Tao and Sehun pretended not to hear anything, too immersed in their drama to hear their hyungs. "Guys..." D.O tried again, to no avail.

D.O looked helplessly to Xiumin, who only walked over to the maknaes and put in the disc. The two boys protested, but were shut down when Xiumin spoke.

"Either you guys stay and watch this zombie movie with us or go to bed. Move!" Xiumin was rather demanding when the maknaes didn't listen. Don't get on Xiumin's bad side.

The two quickly scrambled to Sehun's room, not really wanting to be haunted by flesh-eating monsters any longer than necessary.

~~~~~~~~~

Some nightly rituals are kept secret from the members. For instance, Suho suffers from a crippling fear of moving his bowels in public, or during the day when members might smell or hear him. So Suho waits until 2:32 every night to sneak into the bathroom to drop a deuce. D.O. also has some secret rituals at night. When D.O. is sure Chen is asleep, or after Chen mysteriously disappears from the room while D.O. is watching anime, D.O. gets to work. He has to carefully inspect Chen's hermit crab cage to remove any harmful items Chen has placed in the cage throughout the day, and to replace any hermit crabs that could not survive Chen's care with living fresh ones. D.O. simply cannot stand it when Chen kills a pet....he will never forget Chen and Chanyeol's three day funeral for the goldfish, and how he had to give a eulogy. Chen sulked around for weeks in guilt after realizing that Cupcake did not die of old age as Kris had told him, but because he had tried to share some of his blue powerade.