Title: [4/5]

As much as I want to say that it was rather cliché, I actually, somehow, liked the title. Though, it was a little predictable but I liked how it gave me an idea of what was going to happen.

Description/Foreword: [7/10]

I simply adored how you started your description. Usually, writers with such information would have like a character chart and that kind of turns me off. So, I was really glad that you presented such information in that format. It was different and refreshing for once.

From after that onwards, I thought it was okay. You made an effort to have a decent amount of content that wasn’t too revealing. You didn’t give away too much.

However, there were some errors with your description. There wasn’t any consistent use of one particular tense and being a tense freak that I am, I was a little disappointed.

Plot: [8/10]

Wow. You really surprised me because seriously, when I first started reading your story, I was thinking that the story would solely revolve around Jihyun’s attempt to get DongHae to like her after she got slim to DongHae breaking her heart to Eunhyuk healing her and then they lived happily ever after but I guess I was wrong. Everything was not exactly as how I would imagined it to be. I would say it was fantastic. It was very different.

I love the twists that you had implanted in this story and it was enjoyable reading each chapter and it wasn’t confusing at all. Usually when one has many love affairs going on, it would normally lead to a lot of confusion for the reader but yours wasn’t confusing at all. Good job for making good plots that entertained me. :D

Though, I really thought that you could improve the way Eunhyuk had drove Jihyun away. I just thought it wasn’t hurtful enough for Jihyun to actually leave Korea.

I have yet to finish this story. I’m almost done and I’m really looking to what other interesting surprises that you have up your sleeve. :D

Flow: [5/5]

It wasn’t too fast and neither was it too slow. I thought the story grew nicely and it flowed at a very comfortable pace for me.

Writing style: [4/5]

There was a consistent way that you write. There was neat paragraphing, neat dialogues and everything was just quite organized. Woo!

Originality: [8/10]

The idea of having a girl slimming down to prove people wrong is not original but what made yours different was that there was your own flair that shined in the story. You made it yours and you did a great job adding your own spices and little surprising idea that made your story different from those typical ones.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary: [24/30]

It wasn’t anything too major but the errors kind of ticked me off. In terms of spelling and vocab, I think you did a great job. I have yet to come across any major mistakes for that. Punctuation was okay. Not too bad but there were missing commas here and there.

The thing that ticked me off a little was the grammar. There wasn’t a consistent use of one particular tense. From the looks of your story, you actually wrote in past tense but there were a few incidents where you would suddenly use present tense.

(Chapter 3)

"Hey fat girl! Come here, let's catch up. I haven't seen you for a while." The girl walked up to me and started to pull me by the shirt.

Technically, there shouldn’t be a comma after ‘Come here’. Instead of a comma, you can try putting an exclamation mark or replace it with ‘and’.
Correct: “Hey fat girl! Come here! Let’s catch up. I haven’t seen you for a while.” The girl walked up to me and started to pull me by the shirt.

I walked to my bedroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Is this what I've become? Does everyone address me as the fat girl? Not Jihyun, just the fat girl. 

This was what I meant by grammatical errors. You started out with past tense and then after that, you suddenly used present tense. It would be better to have a consistent use of one particular tense so that your story will be more formal :)
Correct: I walked to my bedroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Was this what I’d became? Did everyone address me as the fat girl? Not Jihyun, just the fat girl.

(Chapter 13)

I glanced at the kid every chance I had. He's way too young to have an interest in Jihyun. Is this kid a noona killer?

I think I sort of understand why you had these mistakes. From what I noticed, you tried your best to actually write using past tense but when it came to question-like sentences that wasn’t in a dialogue, you seemed to have written them in present tense instead. You have to keep in mind that when you write using a particular tense, you have to keep it consistent.

For example, “That was a cat. Was it a female cat? Was it a male cat?”, notice how even my questions were also in past tense. I hope you get what I’m trying to say because I sort of had a feeling that I’m confusing you. Do message me up if you need more explanation regarding this :)
Correct: I glanced at the kid every chance I had. He was way too young to have an interest in Jinhyun. Was that kid a noona killer?

(Chapter 16)

"Yes, but I was rejected... stupid Seunghyun." 

Capital letter after the full stop, my dear.
Yes, but I was rejected… Stupid Seunghyun.”

There’s a few more but I found it pointless to write up mistakes that were repetitive. Like I said, it wasn’t major but it doesn’t hurt to be a perfectionist, right? ^^

Characterization/Details: [21/25]

Kudos for this. I understood each character well and I loved how you developed them in the story. I admire how you made DongHae. He was such a shallow guy. Tsk. Everything was fine. I was glad that you didn’t make Jihyun a Mary-Sue when she lost weight. Her personality was still there and I enjoyed reading chapters that had her in it. It was enjoyable!

Total score: 81/100

General comments: What can I say? I actually found this story rather addictive. Sure, it wasn’t something that I would read at the first glance but I’m glad you requested for a review. I like this story and I’m really looking forward to read the chapters that I have yet to read. :D
So good job!

P.s I just want to say thank you to all those who had requested for either a review or a poster. It really means so much to us that you gave us a chance to show you what we're capable of doing. Not only do we get to do what we love by opening this store but we also get to improve ourselves with each request that we complete. So thank you so much!! <3

P.s.s The reviews after this will be coming a little slower. I'm caught up with work and I have a few things to settle at home so it might take a while to get your reviews done posted up. However, don't worry. If the two weeks is almost up and I'm still not done with your review, I'll be sure to leave a message for you guys. I hope I won't have to do that because I hate making people wait >.<

Once again... Kamsahamnida!!