When Kyuhyun gets home, he throws all the appliances in his apartment. Crying out loud because he felt betray with Sungmin. How Sungmin make him a fool. How Sungmin carry his lie within one year. Why Sungmin did that? He needs an explanation but why he didn’t let Sungmin explain? He didn’t know.

He was just mad that’s why he didn’t know what he had done to Sungmin. Throwing his body on his bed, he cried there. He wanted to die. He can’t forgive Sungmin for what he had done. Sungmin is not a worthy person to him. Is he…?

After thirty minutes, he felt his phone beeping. He was staring out the ceiling, his body is not energetic. His body is lifeless. Tears were still flowing down as he recalling the memories he had with Sungmin.

Sungmin’s smile and Sungmin’s pout; Sungmin’s bright smile and Sungmin’s sweet smile; Sungmin’s bubbly laugh and Sungmin’s tears of joy. Sungmin’s scent and Sungmin’s inhaling him. All he can see and sense is Sungmin. He heard Sungmin’s laughing, the way he stared at him, the way he kissed him passionately.

But the beep sounds of his phone never stop beeping.

Irritated, he took his phone and arched his brows when he sees the unknown register number on his phone.

“Who is it?” he asked himself.

He doesn’t want to answer the call but he didn’t know why he encourages to answers the call.

The moment he swaps the green swap answer, he heard the voice he didn’t want to hear.

“Hey Kyuhyun! It’s me, Siwon.”

Kyuhyun heard Siwon said, his voice as if letting out of relief.

“Thanks God you answered, I’ve been waiting to pick up your phone and answer my call.” He continued.

“What do you want?” Kyuhyun said in flat but in deadly tone.

“I know we never had a good conversation when we met but I want you to tell this.” Siwon plead.

“If you are saying that Sungmin was now back in your arms. Then, congratulations.” He said and planning to ended up the call. But he was stopped when Siwon heard him the bad news and this news made Kyuhyun’s goose bump and sits up from his lying. “What?!”

…

Kyuhyun didn’t know how he ended up in Seoul Hospital, he was run-walking in the hallway while finding the emergency room.

“Sungmin is here in hospital!”

All Kyuhyun heard was the news Siwon said to him. He immediately run to his car and increase the acceleration going to Seoul Hospital, where Siwon said the name of the hospital.

He didn’t know but he was trembling the way he made his way here. All he cared was Sungmin. All the mad and anger he felt was vanished when he heard Sungmin is in the hospital. What happened to him? Why Sungmin is here? He didn’t know.

The moment he reached the emergency room, he saw Siwon, seating on the bench while his arms was resting on his knees and his forehead resting on his clasped hands, his eyes are close, worried expression was shown to his face and as if he was praying for Sungmin’s condition.

Siwon heard the incoming footstep, he saw Kyuhyun, staring blank at him. He stood up to make a face-to-face with the latter.

“What happened to him?” was all Kyuhyun asked.

“I don’t know.” Siwon said in a low voice.

The moment Kyuhyun heard Siwon’s voice and answer, all his vision went dark. All he could see was Siwon, Siwon’s annoying appearance, Siwon’s annoying voice. Siwon is so annoying much for him.

“What do you mean you don’t know?!” he suddenly grabbed Siwon’s collar. “What did you do to him?!”

“That’s what I wanted to ask with you!” Siwon shouted back and he saw Kyuhyun’s eyes widen. “I saw him in the parking lot, grabbing his left chest and he is had to hard to breathe. And now, what did you do to him?” he continued and he low his voice furiously at the last question.

Kyuhyun released his gripped from Siwon’s collar. “I…I didn’t do anything to him. I…I just left him there.” He said and his knees becoming jelly and he ended up seating on the bench.

When Siwon was about to open his mouth to say more anything, the emergency door room suddenly opened and the doctor who checked Sungmin comes out.

The two tall men immediately run to the doctor and simultaneously asked how was Sungmin. The words coming from the doctor’s mouth didn’t register on their mind. They can all understand was Sungmin is safe and he needs to a heart transplant because he has a heart disease. If they couldn’t find a heart donor, Sungmin will die anytime soon. And the two men made their life shattered when they heard Sungmin’s condition.

Sungmin is carrying a disease for almost 2 years? But this time, his heart’s condition is worst because of the last activity he does? Sungmin tired himself from crying and running because he put all the strength to just follow Kyuhyun’s path. And Kyuhyun was stupid because they made love last night. It’s that tiring, right? If Kyuhyun knew. He will not let Sungmin tired himself.

He was so stupid to not notice his boyfriend’s condition, but why Sungmin keep it to himself? Why Sungmin didn’t tell to him?

Kyuhyun cried once again, it’s not because the anger he felt. It’s because of Sungmin. He cried for Sungmin’s condition. He cried because he thought he was a perfect boyfriend for Sungmin but he was not. He cried because there’s a possibility that Sungmin will die anytime soon if they’ll not find a heart donor for Sungmin.

…

It’s been three days since Sungmin lied down on the hospital bed, unconscious. About the heart donor is there is still no news about it. Both Kyuhyun and Siwon feeling anxious because of the news. Within three ing days, nothing happened except the fact that Sungmin was still alive and the doctors never let Sungmin to die on their hands, they’re keeping their works for Sungmin, eat his medicines and vitamins on time.

Kyuhyun didn’t know what to do. He wanted to give his heart for Sungmin but he knew the doctors will not let him because he was healthy. He tried to commit suicide but he knew Sungmin will never forgive his self and him for what he did. He loves Sungmin but he can’t let Sungmin die without fighting for his condition.

He will do this, he don’t care if Sungmin will mad at him. Because what Sungmin can do to him if Sungmin knew he’s dead, anyway? Nothing, right? As long as Sungmin will live, he is okay with that. As long as Sungmin will have a happy family, he is okay with that. As long as Sungmin can be happy, he is happy too with that.

He will call Sungmin’s doctor to say that he will give his heart to his boyfriend or he will left a suicide letter and say that he will give his heart to Sungmin.

Kyuhyun cried, if Sungmin die, he can’t picture his life without Sungmin because Sungmin is his…lifetime.

…

A door opened as he let himself in, the room is dark and the only light was the moon and the beeping machine that was connected in Sungmin’s body – saying that he is still breathing – to light up the dark room. He gradually approaches Sungmin’s body lifeless.

He couldn’t stand seeing Sungmin lying lifeless there. It’s been three days but Sungmin still lying there yet still breathing.

He sighed when he sit beside Sungmin, holding his hands lifelessly, staring at him lovingly, he missed Sungmin so much. He wanted to hold him again in his life, he wanted to but he know he can’t because…because…he just sight. It’s about time to let him go. He knew, when the moment he captured Sungmin’s heart, Sungmin will never be happy and he was expecting that Sungmin will broke up with him, and his guess was right.

“Goodbye Sungmin.” Siwon whispered softly while removing his hands from Sungmin’s and caressed Sungmin’s hair. “I love you but I know you will never happy with me if I’ll push myself to you.” With that, he kissed Sungmin’s forehead and back his gaze to Sungmin’s sleeping face, “I just want you to say that I love you very much and I want to kiss your lips but I know you wouldn’t let me and I don’t want to take this as an advantage and I still remember when you didn’t let me to kiss you except your cheeks when we’re still together. Well, I can’t blame you.” he chuckled at the past memory before he continued, “Even if you were saying I love you to me, I know those words is not sincere. I’m not stupid to not notice that Sungmin but I’m just blinded by love. I let myself think that you loved me even if my minds telling me that you don’t,” he chuckled again as he realized that he was true stupid. “Crazy, right? I know. But, I just want to say sorry about the incident last three days ago, I know you won’t hear it but I just want to say sorry and thank you for being a part of my life. I…I think, that’s all.” With that, he let Sungmin’s hair go and went to the door.

This is it…

He will let Sungmin go.

“Be happy and have a good life…”

He loves Sungmin, he really does. That’s why he needs to do this.

…

That night, Kyuhyun received a call from Siwon. Siwon wants to meet him, but why? He will know it if he will come to hospital.

Before Kyuhyun leaves his apartment, he finished the suicide note. Tomorrow he will do his plan before it’s getting late to Sungmin, to them.

…

Kyuhyun saw Siwon at the garden of the hospital, sitting on the bench while thinking deeply. He walked to him. When Siwon noticed Kyuhyun’s presence, he looked up and smiled at Kyuhyun, who staring blankly at him. He moved a little so he can give Kyuhyun space to take a seat.

When Kyuhyun seated beside Siwon, the silence’s still remain. Kyuhyun couldn’t stand it, he didn’t know what the other man wants. As he was about to open his mouth to break the silence, Siwon’s voice suddenly hear out.

“I’m sorry.” Siwon apologize.

Kyuhyun looked at him disbelievingly, why Siwon apologizing? Well, he should, right? But, it’s been three days and when Siwon called him about Sungmin’s situation, he never says sorry. He thought Siwon meant what he said to him. But now, why so sudden?

Kyuhyun didn’t answer; he didn’t know what to say after Siwon said.

Siwon chuckled when he didn’t receive anything from Kyuhyun. What would he expect? A brotherly hug that he forgives him? Of course not, those insulted words were like a knife that stabbed his heart, his human being.

“Stupid right? When we second meet here, I didn’t say sorry and now, it’s been three days since I said sorry to you.” He continued and stared at the night sky and speaks again, “I was sincere to say this because those I’ve said to you are not unforgivable. You know, when Sungmin and me got broke up, I feel like my world would not spin again. I fell like my world shattered into a million pieces. I want Sungmin to all by myself. Sungmin is the line of my life, because of him, I become a good son to my family, that suppose to be not. He taught me how to love my family again. He ta