a/n: Hey guys! I just want to let you know--I was formerly known as 'krishoislove' on this website, but I changed my username to 'jasminesighs'. I had personal reasons for wanting to change my username, but just know that no hacking or plagiarism is going on, ok? I hope you guys like the new name :) I chose it because it's that sigh you give when you smell jasmine on a summer night, like I am right now ^_^

Here is the first part of this story! I'm not very confident in it, but hopefully you guys can enjoy.

Part One

Stress.

Isolation.

These are things that Junmyeon has always known.

“Hurry up, Junmyeon! You’re going to get left behind!”

Junmyeon yelped and hurried his steps to catch up with his pack. “Sorry!”

“Don’t hold us up, Junmyeon. We can’t be late to the convention.”

Junmyeon hung his head in shame under the heavy gaze of the beta of his pack. “I’m sorry.”

The second-in-command snorted. “Useless brat. Don’t fall behind again, Junmyeon. Otherwise we’ll leave you behind.”

“I understand.” Junmyeon willed his eyes to stay dry as he bent his spine in submission. “I’ll keep up.”

The wolf nodded and then began walking forward again. The pack trailed after their alpha and beta, and Junmyeon waited until the last pup had gone ahead before he started walking.

Junmyeon had always been seen as weak because he wasn’t as fast nor strong as the other wolves in his pack. When he transformed, his wolf had a dull grey coat and boring brown eyes. His reflexes were average, and he didn’t contribute very much to the pack as a whole. He had a good hand with the pups, but mothers wouldn’t let him go near their children, lest his averageness rub off on them. No one wanted to walk by his side while traveling, share a room, or talk to him, ever. It was because he was a dead weight on the pack. He understood that.

That didn’t make it hurt any less though.

Right now, his pack was travelling through the busy streets of Seoul to attend the biannual regional pack convention, where packs within a certain radius convened in a huge conference to meet, to sort out issues, to mingle, and sometimes to mate.

Usually, Junmyeon didn’t come to these. His pack had seen no reason for him to go; they saw him as quiet and shy, and didn’t see what good would come of forcing him into an area with thousands of other wolves inside. This year, though, the pack had decided to take him along. Junmyeon strongly suspected that this was because they were going to try and trade him off to another pack.

Junmyeon hoped that wouldn’t happen. It was true, he was shy and introverted because of the pressure on him from his own pack. However, he loved his pack. He loved and cared for all of them, especially the pups who he’d kept quiet watch over as they played and developed into extraordinary young wolves.

Someone bumped into him, and Junmyeon bowed and muttered a hasty apology before he scampered ahead to join the rest of the pack. Social tensions or not, it wasn’t good to try and trail at the end of the pack in a crowded city like this. He gently herded the pups farther into the center of the group to protect them from strangers and then took a place near the edge of the pack as the continued walking into the city.

Junmyeon felt a soft flutter of happiness soothing over the burn of humiliation from when he’d fallen behind as his alpha caught his eye and gave him an approving nod. It wasn’t often that he received praise from his leader.

As the group got closer to the convention area, more and more wolf packs crowded the streets. Packs traveled in tight knit clumps of people, each alpha eyeing the other warily as the groups trickled into the meeting area.

Junmyeon gasped softly when they entered a huge field; the field was full of lush green grass. In the center of the field, the leaders of each pack were gathering in a large ring. On the edge of the ring sat a group of betas and a group of alpha mates. Beyond that, thousands of wolves and pups were mingling with each other, peacefully talking or happily playing around.

Junmyeon felt a sudden warmth cover his hand, and he looked over in surprise to see his alpha linking their fingers together. “Alpha?”

The pack leader simply squeezed his fingers. “Are you a little overwhelmed?”

Junmyeon decided to roll with it. “I’ve never seen so many in one place before.”

His alpha chuckled and released his hand. “Stick with pack members. Try and talk to someone new, alright? Have fun. This is a big social event.”

“Yes Alpha.”

The Alpha nodded and began walking towards the center of the field. The moment he was out of earshot, the entire pack Junmyeon.

“Who do you think you are, huh? Trying to get Alpha’s attention like that?”

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

They snarled at him. “He’s going to be one of our mates, do you understand? No one wants you to bear their pups anyways.”

“I understand,” Junmyeon bowed his head. “I really didn’t mean anything by it.”

Eventually, they left him alone and began mingling with other wolves in the field as a group while Junmyeon stayed quietly off to the side, hidden in the shadows of his packmate’s personalities. He gazed off into space, not paying attention to his surroundings, until suddenly one of his packmates began to tug at his arm.

“What?”

“It’s Exo,” he muttered under his breath. “Let’s move to the side.”

“Ok.” Junmyeon’s mind whirled in circles as he followed his pack member off to the side. Exo was an infamous pack in their region; although they were a small group of eleven, they were vicious and powerful fighters when their territory was invaded. They were also known for their rejection of many wolves who wanted to join the pack, often killing the applicants and then taking their bodies to the edge of their territories as a warning not to enter the pack.

Junmyeon was mildly surprised and alarmed when he realized that he and his packmate were on the edge of the parting crowd as Exo entered the area. He craned his neck to see the infamous pack, and blinked in surprise at the group of eleven that walked coolly through the crowd of obviously admiring wolves. “They’re handsome.”

Junmyeon didn’t realize that he’d spoken his thoughts aloud until his packmate laughed softly. “Do you have your eye on a mate from Exo, Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon blinked and then hastily backtracked. “Oh, no! You guys said it earlier anyways, no one wants me to bear their pups.” He laughed nervously and shrank into himself, curling away under the weight of his words.

His packmate looked at him with surprise. “What? You know we were just joking, right?”

Junmyeon gave him a look and opened his mouth to respond, only to gasp in surprise when a strong hand landed on his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t mind if you bore my pups,” a tall man winked lecherously down at him.

Junmyeon turned beet red and shrugged the man’s hand off of his shoulder while his packmate snarled at the intruder.

The intruder backed off and held his hands above his head. “I didn’t mean any harm.”

Junmyeon turned away, his pale neck flushing with embarrassment. “Let’s go. Where are the others?”

“We probably got separated from them when the crowd started parting. Don’t worry, we’ll find them later.”

“Are you sure? How are we going to find them when there are so many people here?”

“We’ll meet up with alpha when the conventions ends tonight. Don’t worry so much, Junmyeon.”

“O-ok.”

“Hey, let’s meet some new people. You might make a new friend.”

Junmyeon remembered his alpha’s request at the beginning of the convention, and he sighed softly. “Sure. Do you know anyone here?”

“Yeah, I talked to some wolves from SNSD. Let’s go find them.”

Junmyeon raised an eyebrow. SNSD was an all-female pack rising fast through the packs of wolves as they were known for the beauty, along with their fighting prowess, but also their keen sense of justice. “You know them, huh?”

“Sure.”

“Well, I can’t really say no to SNSD, huh?”

They laughed and headed off, weaving through the milling crowd of wolves.

“Junmyeon?”

“Hm?” Night was closing in, and the first stars were beginning to light up the skies. The convention ended at the dawn of the next day; the leader’s meeting had broken up, and packs now settled down amongst themselves to rest for the night.

“Alpha wants to speak with you.”

“Coming.” Junmyeon sighed softly as he picked himself up off the ground and shook grass of his fur before padding around the group to find his alpha. They had all transformed into wolves to spend the night in the field; many wolves were milling around, playing tag or playfighting in the center of the field as they relished the last few hours of peace and cooperation between all the wolf packs of the region.

Junmyeon blinked in surprise when he saw his alpha standing in human form at the head of the pack. He hastily transformed, nearly falling flat on his face when his legs buckled beneath his weight. Luckily his alpha noticed him beneath the starlight, and grabbed his arm to keep him from falling.

The moment Junmyeon was steady on his feet once more, he drew away from his alpha’s touch: he didn’t want to get in trouble with the rest of the pack again. “You called for me?”

“Come walk with me, Junmyeon.”

At that sentence, Junmyeon could practically feel the heat of the glares from the rest of the wolves in the pack. “U-um…”

“Ignore them. Come walk with me, please, Junmyeon.”

The heated glares turned into soft rustles of shame as the pack shifted uneasily. Junmyeon sighed through his nose; how could he refuse a request from his alpha? He had a feeling that he was going to get a lot of flak from the other members when he got back. “Ok, Alpha.”

They began to walk, and when they were a far-enough distance from the pack, his alpha stopped and turned to face him.

“Junmyeon.”

“Alpha?” Beneath the starlight, his alpha’s noble, older features were creased with shadows of weariness and pain. “Alpha, what’s wrong?”

“You know that I have been waiting to choose a mate for a very long time, right Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon blinked in surprise. “Yes, Alpha. Even the pups know that.” What does this have to do with me?

“Recently, I made a decision that I would mate with you, Junmyeon. I’ve seen how you are with pups. Despite what others say, you are a good, strong wolf. Both your human and wolf forms are beautiful, and you are so lovely, and so kind.”

Junmyeon froze in shock. All his life, he’d been told that he was worthless by the pack, and now his alpha was trying to tell him that he wanted to mate with him? What sort of joke was this?

“Alpha, please don’t.” Junmyeon took a step away from his leader. “You’ve never been cruel to me before.”

His alpha reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him closer before he could react. “I’m not lying, Junmyeon. You are beautiful, and you always have been.”

“Why, then, does everyone tell him me how average I am? How no one wants me to bear their pups?” Junmyeon tried to pull away again, but his alpha’s grip on his hand was too strong.

“They were jealous. Everyone knew I had my eye on you, even when you were a small pup. Everyone knew I was waiting for you to get old enough, waiting for you to mature to the point where we could mate.”

“Alpha, we can’t,” Junmyeon pleaded. His mind and his heart were spinning in circles, leaving him disoriented and confused about what was happening and what he should do—but all he knew was that he couldn’t be with the only person who had ever wanted him, and he felt something break inside of him is that the thought registered. “We can’t. They’ll kill me.”

“I know.” Bitterness was interwoven in the texture of his alpha’s words, and the strands broke free and dissipated into the white puff of air that left his alpha’s mouth.

“Then why have you told me this, Alpha?”

“I wanted you to know.”

“You wanted me to know about something I could never have?”

“Yes and no.” His alpha reached out and took of hold of his other hand so that now, they were facing each other, rooted in their grip on each other. “I wanted you to know that at least one person from our pack has loved you until the very end.”

“I don’t understand.” Junmyeon felt his heart beat faster with anxiety and trepidation; the shadow of something larger and ominous stood at the edge of his mind, but he pushed it back, determined to hold it off as long as he could.

“The pack voted to throw you out just before we began to journey to the convention.”

The shadow broke through Junmyeon’s mind and expanded to cover his thoughts; everything was dark and hazy, and his heart cried out as heartbreak threatened to completely overwhelm him.

Junmyeon hadn’t realized that tears were running down his cheeks until his alpha released his hands to cup his face and smooth the tears away. “I’m sorry.”

Junmyeon’s tear flowed faster, but no sound escaped from his mouth. At last, the tears stopped flowing, and his alpha leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his forehead as Junmyeon reached up to clutch at his alpha’s shirt.

“I-I…why? Why did they do that?” Junmyeon pressed his face into his alpha’s hands, seeking comfort as pain caught his chest in an unforgiving grip. “Why, Alpha?”

“They didn’t understand why I had set my eye on someone as young as you are. At first, when you were a pup, most of the subordinates of the pack were jealous that I was willing to wait for such a small, insignificant pup to be my mate. They isolated you and spoke down to you, to try and convince me that I should mate with one of their older children.

Eventually, those parents died. However, the older children, and your peers remained. The stigma from your childhood stayed with you as you grew older, and that stigma remained as a twisted mixture of jealousy and hate.

Things rose to a peak when they realized that I was serious, and when I announced that to them that I would approach you during the upcoming mating season. I don’t know what drove them to this madness, but they hosted a vote to release you from the pack. As the alpha, I have to uphold our laws; and when they voted by a majority, I didn’t have a choice.” Junmyeon’s alpha hung his head in shame even as he held on to Junmyeon tightly. “I’m so sorry, Junmyeon. It was I who brought you to this.”

They stayed standing in the moonlight for a long time, surrounded by a thousand little worlds, trapped likes flies in an amber made of heartbreak and pain.

At last, Junmyeon stepped back from the embrace. His eyes were dry and hollow with resignation, and his shoulders slumped from the weight of his fate. “Well, there’s nothing to be done. I’ve been kicked out of the pack.”

“I’m sorry, Junmyeon.” His alpha didn’t try to reach out for him, and Junmyeon withheld the urge to start crying again.

“I wish you hadn’t told me that you want me.”

His alpha bowed his head in grief. “I’m sorry.”

Junmyeon sighed and raised his head to look at the stars. They glowed icily in the night sky, cold pinpoints of light, with no promise of hopes or dreams in the stark blackness of their surroundings.

“You can still join another pack. My beta informed me that you got along well with the groups he introduced you to.”

“Yes,” Junmyeon said hollowly. “I could.”

“I’m sorry, Junmyeon.” The words rang with loss and sincerity, but to Junmyeon, the phrase had turned into a slow, ringing death knell.

“It’s alright. I’ll find another place to go to.”

His alpha stepped forward, and before Junmyeon could stop him, he was leaning down to kiss him softly on the mouth.

“Goodbye Junmyeon.”

His alpha left him there, his heart racing with shock and heart break with his slender fingers pressed to his mouth, surrounded by a thousand wolves he didn’t know, and abandoned by the only hope for true happiness he’d ever had in his life.

Pain coursed through his body as his heart and lungs constricted beneath the press of heartbreak. His breath came faster and faster through his mouth, small puffs of white drifting out into the night. He crouched down and put his head between his knees and forced himself to think.

He had no pack now—no one to take care of him if he was injured. No territory that he could wander safely in. No one to protect him from the cold of the night, nor the predators of the day. Where could he go? Being a loner would be suicide; he would be dead by the end of the week if he tried.

A small voice at the back of his head whispered maybe that wouldn’t be so bad…

But sometimes, loners weren’t killed. Sometimes they were forced into packs and treated brutally until the ends of their days.

Junmyeon ached with pain. Scar after scar had been laid into his heart as his pack turned their backs on him, one by one, until at last they threw him away. Junmyeon felt his will to live vanish with each breath he took, dispersing with the small droplets of condensed water into the chilly air.

Better to find a quick end than to draw things out. I don’t know how much longer this pain can last.

Junmyeon’s mind went through each of the packs in the field. Which pack would surely turn him away if he tried to join? Which pack would kill him?

Exo.

Exo was infamous for the deaths of people who tried to join. Junmyeon pushed himself back up to standing, his mind clearly focused on his goal.

If he went to Exo, he would surely be killed.

If he went to Exo, his pain would surely be over.

“E-excuse me?”

“Yes?” A young woman gave him a kind look as he trembled in front of her.

“Could you tell me where Exo is sleeping for the night?”

The young woman chuckled. “Are you looking for a mate from Exo?”

Junmyeon laughed, attempting to conceal his bitterness. “No. I just want to see them before I leave the convention today…everyone admires them so much.”

The woman nodded understandingly. “I think they’re staying close to the center of the field, near where the alphas were meeting earlier in the day.”

“Thank you very much.” Junmyeon bowed politely to the woman and then set off across the field. He was determined—he was determined to end this, end all of his pain and suffering, here on this night. There was no law against death at the convention—wolves commonly fought and dueled and died here. Junmyeon had no doubt that he would soon join their ranks.

At last he found them; they were sitting in a circle, the eleven bodies sitting tall and proud as they conversed quietly amongst each other. Around the ring was a large empty space, as all the other packs were too afraid to get too close.

Junmyeon took a deep breath and steeled himself.

You can’t live like this anymore, Junmyeon. End it. End it now.

He pushed through the crowds of admiring wolves and stepped into the empty space between the pack and the crowd. The crowd went ablaze with whispers as they watched him walk steadily towards the ring of eleven.

The ring broke up as the wolves got to their feet and turned to face Junmyeon.

A short man with wide eyes gave him a gentle smile as he got closer. “Can we help you?”

Junmyeon was a bit surprised at the kindness; after all, Exo’s reputation was that they were all a bunch of cold-hearted, blood-thirsty warriors. Nevertheless, he opened his mouth and forced the words out, steeling himself for what he needed to do.

“I want to join your pack.”

The owl-eyed man looked surprised, and the pack moved closer together while another member stepped out. His eyes were narrowed in distaste, and dark bags hung beneath his eyes, as if he were suffering from insomnia. A heavy scowl marked his mouth, and he glared down at Junmyeon.

“Are you stupid? Do you want to die?”

Junmyeon didn’t respond, and just focused on keeping his legs strong.

The man growled from within his chest and transformed into a large, black wolf with dark, malevolent eyes.

“Stand down, Zitao!”

Junmyeon moved his eyes from the snarling wolf to another man who had just spoken; his face was equally frightening, with similar sharp eyes and regal bone structure. Junmyeon briefly wondered if the two men were brothers, but his mind was brought back to attention when the black wolf scratched at the ground again.

“Stand down,” the man repeated, and Junmyeon felt a small shiver work its way through his body as he realized that the man speaking was the alpha of Exo.

The black wolf snarled one last time, and then turned back into the scowling man.

Meanwhile, the alpha of the pack walked forward until he was standing toe-to-toe with Junmyeon. He put a hand under Junmyeon’s chin and tilted his face upwards.

“…You want to join Exo?”

Junmyeon nodded his head slightly in the alpha’s gentle grip. Stop drawing this out and kill me already.

The alpha surveyed him for what seemed like eternity, until at last, he released his face and turned back to the other members.

“I see the potential inside of him.”

The other ten members moved forward to surround him, all of them surveying him critically. Junmyeon fought down the blush that threatened to rise to his cheeks and he forced himself to stand still, even as his body twitched into anticipation.

What is there to decide? You killed everyone else before. Kill me too.

“I also see it,” a man with a pretty face and large doe eyes said from the left.

“I see it.”

“I see it.”

“I see it.”

“…I didn’t realize before. I also see it in him now,” the scowling man from before observed.

Junmyeon frowned. What were they seeing? Were they not going to kill him? He felt a pang of panic at the thought; were they actually going to accept him into the pack? No. No. He wanted to die, he didn’t want to live anymore—

“You have a potential to become a member of our pack, little wolf. We’ll take you home with us when the convention ends at dawn. After that, we’ll decide if you’re truly worthy of the pack or not.”

Junmyeon raised his eyes to acknowledge the alpha male’s words.

So they still might kill me…but it will take a little time.

“My name is Yifan. I am the alpha of the pack.”

“I’m Luhan.” The doe-eyed man waved at him from the side. “I’m the beta.”

“I’m Xiumin. I’m the oldest.” A man with puffy cheeks and short, spiky hair waved at him from Luhan’s side.

They continued introducing themselves, until the last one, Sehun, the omega of the pack, had gone.

Yifan smiled kindly at him, and Junmyeon remained frozen in shock. “What’s your name, little wolf?”

“I’m Junmyeon.” The sound came out as a squeak, and Junmyeon flushed as he stumbled over himself and tried again. “Sorry, I’m Junmyeon.”

Yifan laughed softly. “It’s nice to meet you, Junmyeon. We hope that you can pass the test to join our pack.”

Junmyeon gave him a deadpan stare, and flinched when Sehun reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him down to the ground. He twisted around to look out at the astounded crowd, and for a moment, he thought that he’d caught a glimpse of his former alpha’s noble features.

But then his former alpha melted away into the crowd, and Exo’s scent filled his senses as they crowded around him, gently nudging him into the ring and asking him questions about himself.

And Junmyeon steeled himself for a brief taste of heaven before he was sent to his death.

a/n: I can't capture emotions huhuhu ;~; hopefuly you guys still liked it though! let me know what you thought in the comments, ok? And a big hug to all my subscribers, readers and upvoters (who voted even before I posted! Thanks so much guys!!!) And also, before y'all start guessing, I haven't decided who Junmyeon's former pack alpha is yet ahaha.