Kyungsoo knows his "condition" has gotten worse.  Ever since Luhan stormed out of his house two days ago, Kyungsoo has been sitting with a phone book, perusing through the pages for a therapist he can call.  He tells himself that he just needs to talk to someone and the problem will go away.  If this therapist can help, then he won't feel the need to keep every thing he sees or he won't go looking for things in the neighbors' trash that he feels he can salvage but never use.

He feels like a failure because of what he's put himself through.  His parents won't talk to him or even acknowledge his existence anymore.  They were disappointed in what he'd become.  When he was little his parents had always told him they expected him to be great.

Kyungsoo has never aspired to be "great" because he doesn't know what that means.  Does being great mean to be successful, to have a home, a job and a family?  Does it mean having achieved something like the creation of a vaccine or the latest smartphone app?  Does being great mean having more money than others?  Or does being a great person merely indicate having a kind heart, a person with good intentions?

Whatever the answer is, Kyungsoo knows that Baekhyun was a great person; and if Baekhyun were alive he would have not been great.  He would have been absolutely brilliant, unsurpassable even.  Kyungsoo's throat tightens because he remembers he's not supposed to think about Baekhyun and that hurts him.  Baekhyun deserves to be remembered, not forgotten.

A loud knock interrupts his thoughts.  It takes Kyungsoo a few minutes to make his way to the front door.  He opens it and comes face to face with Jongin, the paperboy.  Kyungsoo is immediately nervous and he does what his instincts tell him.  

He slams the door in Jongin's face.

Kyungsoo stands there for another moment and panics.  It's rude to slam doors in people's faces.  He scrambles to open the door to meet Jongin's dumbfounded expression.

"I apologize.  That was rude,"Kyungsoo says, not quite meeting Jongin's eyes.

"It's okay," Jongin replies, softly.

Kyungsoo nervously looks up and sees Jongin craning his neck to peer into his house.  Kyungsoo hurriedly closes the door and steps outside to talk.  He doesn't want to let Jongin see the mess inside the house.  It seems strange to him that someone besides Luhan would want to see the pile of junk he's living in.

"They call you the Creep In House 42," Jongin says.

Kyungsoo blinks, "Who does?"

"The entire neighborhood.  I asked around about you but it looks like nobody knows you anyway," Jongin says.

Kyungsoo takes this in with a heavy heart.  He hadn't known his reputation in the neighborhood.  Of course they have a right to speak about him that way; Kyungsoo knows he's not normal but to hear it so bluntly is a bit upsetting.  

"What do you want?" Kyungsoo asks.

"A reason," Jongin says, eyeing the scattered trash on the front yard.

"I don't think we're close enough for me to tell you my life story.  You don't even know my name," Kyungsoo points out.

"I'd know it if you'd tell me," Jongin shoots back.

Kyungsoo sighs and rubs a hand over his face, "I think it would be better if you didn't get involved in my life.  I come with a lot of baggage."

Jongin shrugs and pulls something out of a bag, "I'm strong enough to carry it.  Oh, and here's your newspaper. "

Kyungsoo tells Jongin his name.

Jongin invites himself to Kyungsoo's house the next day as well.  Kyungsoo had been expecting him to come, so he waits out in the front yard for Jongin.  There's no room to sit and greet Jongin inside the house anyway.  Kyungsoo waves to him as Jongin parks his bike and comes to sit down next to him.  Jongin gives him that morning's paper and pats Kyungsoo's knee.  Kyungsoo nods at him and puts the newspaper in his lap.

"Missed me?" Jongin asks.

"Not really," Kyungsoo replies and continues, "Why do keep coming here Jongin?"

"Because I think you're interesting," Jongin says.

"There's nothing interesting about me," Kyungsoo retorts.

"You may not see it, but I do.  Anyways, how old are you?" Jongin asks.

Kyungsoo realizes this is an appropriate question, but again, he doesn't want to reveal too much about himself.  It's unsettling how at ease he feels with Jongin.  Before he can stop himself, he's already giving Jongin the number.

"Twenty two.  How old are you?" he asks, curious to know Jongin's age in return.

"Twenty one," Jongin replies.

They sit in silence watching a parade of cockroaches marching across the yard.  Kyungsoo is used to vermin and insects roaming around his house.  Jongin visibly flinches at the sight, and yet remains sitting next to Kyungsoo.  Kyungsoo is genuinely touched by Jongin's actions.  Not many people are willing to deal with the smell, the mess, the bugs.  Jongin is more than willing; he sacrifices his own comfort to spend time with Kyungsoo, who is still a stranger.

For the first time in a while, Kyungsoo wants to try, for the sake of this stranger named Jongin.  He wants to get help.  He wants to make an effort because Jongin is making an effort for him.  Kyungsoo can hopefully find a reason to live again, to be normal again, because of Jongin.

"What's your surname?" Kyungsoo asks.  

Kyungsoo decides if Jongin is insistent on being a part of his life, he may as well become friends with the boy, requiring them to share things with each other.  Kyungsoo is okay with this as long as Jongin doesn't find out why Kyungsoo keeps things and doesn't throw anything out.  He would prefer to share the more positive things with Jongin, like his skill for writing, or his love for movies.

"I'm Kim Jongin, sometimes people call me Kai though," Jongin tells him.

Kyungsoo nods.  He wants to ask Jongin why people call him Kai but he feels sharing too much all at once would overwhelming for him.  Jongin seems to understand this and he talks to Kyungsoo about anything and everything else.  They talk for an hour about politics, music, movies instead of their lives and experiences.  

"Kyungsoo.  Do I make you uncomfortable?" Jongin finally asks.

Kyungsoo thinks about it for a moment, "Yes."

Jongin smiles brightly, "Good.  I have to go to school now.  I'll see you tomorrow Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo watches as Jongin leaves.  He reads the paper, realizing before Jongin started delivering them, he's never read a newspaper before in his life.

If Kyungsoo had a quarter for every time Luhan has claimed to give up only to double his efforts, Kyungsoo would be rich.  Luhan visits him in the afternoon holding a bag of what smells like Chinese takeout.  Kyungsoo is bewildered by Luhan's sudden act of kindness.  It was just two days ago that Luhan was too frustrated to even be in his presence.

"Kyungsoo, bring some chairs out into the yard so we can eat!" Luhan calls from the front doorway.

Kyungsoo does as he's told.  Growing up, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo always did as Luhan told them.  The habit never changed even into adulthood, even when Kyungsoo was not on good terms Luhan.

He takes the carton and chopsticks Luhan passes to him and begins eating.  Luhan takes a few bites of food before addressing why he came.

"I saw you with someone this morning.  Who is he?" Luhan asks.

Kyungsoo chokes on his noodles not expecting that particular question, "When did you come by this morning?"

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