Kim Jongdae was usually loud and cheery around s, running tirelessly across the room to get to safety, away from Kyungsoo’s ice fist, Jongin’s punch, and especially Luhan’s kick to the shin. Those three were particularly violent when it came to revenge.

He also had a whole new separate pride as a beagle line member, which brought  new heights to their reputation. He devised 99% full proof pranks; although it would have been a 100 if not for the fact that the 1% signifies the other party has completely ignored him (ahemXiuminahem) or has failed to understand the situation (ahemSuhoahem), though, most of the time it ends with him laughing next door as he listens to his victim place the blame on Baekhyun or Chanyeol for some cases.

In addition to his “slight” obsession for trickery, he absolutely loves to interact and play with s, as if they were children released into a theme park. Hand games, thigh games, video games, computer games, you name them! (Just so he can lose some of the unlimited amount of energy stored within his skinny frame)

But now he thinks it’s a completely blasphemy that he can’t even smile sincerely anymore. The usual crinkle of his eyes whenever he smirked was long gone; his kittenish smile wiped out from his features and replaced with a thin line. His highlighted cheeks had sunken as much as titanic, giving a more bony appearance.

He looked sick

He looked like .

And it was all Kris, Wu Yifan, Kevin, Ben Ben-hyung’s fault.

Jongdae draws his knees near him, curling up to the Kris’ blanket like a small kitten waiting for its owner. He sniffs the remaining scent lingering on it.

It smelled like apples and cinnamon, such an unlikely scent as its owner.

Jongdae clutches the comforter tighter as his memories of his Duizhang flood his mind.

“Chen-ah”

“Yes?”

“Can I call you Chen Chen?”

Jongdae looks absolutely scandalized with the suggestion of the name. It made him sound like a pet cat. Kris just looks away, pink dusting his cheeks.

“Why would you want to call me that?”

“’Cause it’s cute?”

Jongdae raises an eyebrow and puts down the book he was previously reading.

“You think I’m cute?”

“Maybe”

“Well I think you’re silly”

Now it’s was his hyung’s turn to look embarrassed.

“Should I be offended?”

“No, because I love tall silly Chinese Canadian dorks. And you seem like a strong candidate Mr. Kris” he eyes Kris teasingly, watching his leader fail to put up a cool façade. Instead, looking like a giant clumsy idiot. After trying to compose himself, Kris sits beside Jongdae on the couch, looking straight at the program being broadcasted.

 “Call me Ben Ben”

“I prefer Koala”

Jongdae snuggles into Kris’ lap as they watch the male character profess his love for the female lead. They sat there for a long time, in comfortable silence, occasionally laughing at the shaky steps of the male lead.

Jongdae was satisfied.

Jongdae was happy.

Remembering such a funny memory had a completely opposite effect on Jongdae. He might have screamed loudly right now, if not for the sleeping members just next door.  Everyone was drained and out of it after hearing the unexpected news. They took it very badly, especially Suho, who had no idea what was going through his equivalent’s head as of the moment.

“Kris had filed a lawsuit against SM. And he’ll probably not come back in time for the concert.”

Those few words uttered menacingly by their two managers struck everyone like a rock. Kris was filing a law suit? For what? He kept his face emotionless the whole time the other members were reacting. Some had tears gliding down their cheeks, some had dark expressions, some were very vocal about it, and others just blank, staring at the floor as if it would bring their third eldest back if they stared hard enough. It was complete chaos. A chaos made by 11.

Ah

11

What an unwanted number.

He couldn’t stomach the idea of standing on stage with only eleven members performing and singing like it was their last. Not without his Kris-hyung holding his hand on stage.  Not without his galaxy enveloping him in a tight hug.

But he had seen this coming

For a few weeks actually.

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

Kris’ figure stops, and slowly directs itself towards the only existence he did not want to see right now. Looking closely, Jongdae spots several bottles of pills, which were obviously not the over the counter types. He approaches his shaken boyfriend who looked like he was contemplating whether he should make a run or it, or just over all piss in his pants.

“Chen”

He chooses option three: stay

“Hyung, are you hiding something from me?”

“Nothing Jongdae. I’m just taking some pills for my headache”

He grabs the bottle of pills in Kris’ hands and scans the description

“Or your heartache” Jongdae’s eyes narrow into slits as he glares at the liar in front of him.

“Jongdae this isn’t what it looks like, I-“

“Then tell me that I’m blind and these are not pills to treat Myocarditis”

Kris pulls back the hand he was about to reach out. He opted to massage his neck, choosing his words carefully as to no anger further.

But he was already angry,

Angry at the fact that his “boyfriend” was still trying to get away despite being caught red-handed.

“Since when?”

“A few weeks ago maybe?”

“A few weeks ago? When we were in China?”

“Mmm”

“And you didn’t even bother to tell me that you were sick?” Jongdae’s voice was beginning to get louder and louder with every syllable he released. He was dumbfounded.

His own boyfriend couldn’t even tell him straight to his face that he was sick. Was it that severe? Was it that hard to tell?

Kris suddenly leans forward, capturing his trembling Chengzi’s lips. Almost automatically, Jongdae’s hands clutches Kris’ shirt, tiptoeing to meet his partner’s lips even more.

It was so painful

Oh so painful

A tear rolls down his face, dropping exactly on their hands that were entwined. Although they separate, their faces were still close to each other, their breaths labored from the long kiss they just shared. Jongdae looks at Kris with teary eyes.

“You should have told me”

“I couldn’t, “, Kris pauses for a moment, “Because if I did, I wouldn’t have seen you being absolutely beautiful while you were rehearsing Open Arms back in the stadium”

“I could sing It for you it now”

“Then do it”

That night Jongdae sings with a different kind of message. Instead of the usual “I-sing-to-make-fans-happy”, he sings with a heart full of love, full of ache. He looks directly at the only audience listening intently this unusually cold night. He takes a deep breath before vocalizing his first note.

Throughout the song, Kris would only smile at him, occasionally closing his eyes to feel Jongdae’s feelings transmit to him. In return, he stretches out his hands, as if he couldn’t reach the person sitting in front of him.

He was so near physically, yet so far in a different kind of sense. 

So now I come to you with open arms

Nothing to hide

Believe what I say

So here I am, with open arms

Hoping you’ll see what your love means to me

Open Arms

At this point, Jongdae’s sobbing was already reverberating across the abandoned corridor. A single door creaks and closes as the figure makes his way to where the vocal was.

“Jongdae, open up”

“G-go away”

“Not when you’re like this, I won’t”

“J-just go b-back to s-sleep okay? I-I’m perfectly fine”

“Kim Jongdae”

“Fine”

The mysterious member unlocks the door carefully, as to not wake the remaining members who were still recovering from the news. He strides quickly, tackling Jongdae into the bed.

“You weren’t crying a while ago”

“ off Byun Baekhyun”

“That isn’t very nice, you know?”

“I’m not in my best mood. If you think this is the best time to-“

“We’re all shocked, Jongdae”

Jongdae buries his head into Baekhyun’s chest as the said man just holds him silently, muffling any sound.

He recalls once again

A bitter memory

“Do you know what does galaxy mean?”

So?

How did you like the first part of my one shot?

Its not too long but I wanted to show you a glimpse before the pain comes

er

yeah

pain

So the usual please subscribe, upvote and comment, but I want to put an emphasis on comment bcause I really wanna know what you think of the story so that I know how to improve myself when it comes to writing.

I know I'm just a beginner but this is a very important stage for me to realize what I need to improve on

So hugs to those who comment! <3

And to those who didn't,

Well

Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoy the next part

~Snowyspring