Was it wrong to be a little excited? 

No, of course not, she thought, sitting in her bed, bedhead raging across her head, alone in the apartment after Soo Min and her parents finally left. It's like a play date. A friend date. It's not a big deal.

7 am, in her underwear, she took a long time to choose her outfit. She stood there, contemplating if she should go with a skirt again or keep it casual with capris. Loud knock on the door.

"It's just me," she heard her mom's muffled voice. "You remembered to take your pills today, right Eunnie?" 

"Yes, yes, now hurry and go!" she yelled back immediately, mortified. The way her mother yelled, the whole apartment could hear her words. They're just vitamins, anyway.

Suddenly distracted, she threw on jeans and a tank top, grabbed a piece of toast, and swung open the door. She stood there, apprehensive, waiting.

***

"Let's go to Donggureung," Xiumin burst out at the train station, suddenly inspired. Jin looked at him, astonished.

"Donggureung? I haven't been there since middle school." She almost snorted, remembering the school field trip. Her best friend at the time almost vomited on the bus ride home from eating rotten cheese. She tried to picture Minseok on the bus, but it was all a blur.

He cocked that signature half-smile. "It was fun," he mused. Before she could say a word, he rushed to buy the train tickets. She closed . 

What's he thinking?

But as it turned out, she could not refuse his happy grin as he clutched the train tickets while they sat in the waiting room, cheerfully humming to himself. Surprisingly, he was not humming an EXO song.

"Is that...If I Were You by 2ne1?" She couldn't stop herself from smiling. 

"Damn!" He whipped his head to look at her, his big eyes wider than usual. "Everyone says my humming . I can't believe you could even tell."

"Well, that's a beautiful song," she sighed. "See, that's... really good music right there, 2ne1's stuff. Their Crush album is amazing and yet all anyone can talk about is mindless pop music like EXO's --" oops. Dummy, what the hell? 

"I'm sorry," she quickly backtracked.

He stayed silent for a moment, taking in the passersby in front of him, rushing to get to their trains in the morning rush hour.

"No, it's okay," he said softly, picking at the stuffing of the chair rest next to him. "Sometimes even I think the stuff we sing about is a bit trivial. It's about love, girls, 'my lady,' 'so lucky to have you.' It's not much more than that. I'm grateful for all the love we receive, but I can also understand the hate too." There was something bitter in the way he said it, something cold. It wasn't directed to her, she felt... more like anger at himself. She didn't know what to say.

The train ride was quieter than usual. And it was weird. She kept on feeling that way, but after just a day with Minseok, everything was just a little bit different. It wasn't that she was head over heels or anything like that, but just the way he made her feel was something she never anticipated. The silence wasn't awkward, it was...enveloping. Warm. Everything was just a little brighter, like she pressed the F6 button on her MacBook a couple of times. She felt herself drifting...

***

"Ji Eun."

"Ji Eun!"

"Oi, pabo!"

She felt a soft hand shake her awake. When she opened her eyes, his whole face was right into hers, his lips level with hers. 

She jolted back.

"What are you doing??"

"We're here!" Without a backward glance, he rushed out of the train. How could he be so nonchalant about it? Her heart still pounding in her ears, she grabbed her bag and hopped off the train. The immediate standing up position made her feel a bit dizzy, but she didn't want to complain. Not when he was dancing like a kid to Donggureung.

Even after all these years, it was still the same place. Full of greenery, ornate statues were situated everywhere, honoring the tombs of the Joseon kings. She still remembered the history lesson -- nine royal mausoleums and seventeen graves in total, trademark purple eulalia flowers reeds in the tomb areas, forestry in the background, spacing out the huge ground. One breath and she could inhale the grass and dirt, the centuries behind every rock beneath her foot and dust particles that surrounded her. She was a second year in middle school again. She could twirl, and her school uniform was somehow cemented onto her body.

It took her a second to realize Minseok was far ahead of her.

"Hey! Oi! Where the hell are you going? The tourist information place is that way!" 

He looked back at her, a mocking smile plastered on his face. "Only pabos need brochures." With that, he turned around and resumed walking.

Ugh.

"You seem to think that knowing where one is going is overrated," she muttered to him, panting slightly after catching up to him. "You think you still know this place so well, even after so long?"

He didn't hesitate for a moment. With his large, sweeping arms (she really, really had something going for those biceps, the veins bulging slightly through his thin shirt) he pointed to one of the largest tombs in the area. "That, my friend, is King Taejo's tomb. Geonwolleung. One of the biggest mausoleums in this whole place."

And without hesitation, every time, they both strolled through the entire area and he named the name of every single tomb. She didn't know whether to laugh or to smack him or to stare at him in awe. In a span of two hours, she did a combination of both. 

A murky Wednesday, they were almost the only ones there, save a couple or two or a few elderly people. Sometimes, they let silence settle between their bodies, savoring the emptiness of a tomb in the early afternoon. There was something about it, two people, not lovers, perhaps not even friends, faint acquaintances making their way through the past. And that's what it felt like, at least to Ji Eun that day -- a tryst with the past. She didn't think about jobs, the future, the looming prospect of unemployment in an unforgiving city. For that moment, that breath, she was with Minseok, an old, past acquaintance. Not Xiumin, famous member of EXO. Just Minseok. 

"You know, I kind of feel bad for King Taejo," he said, looking into the foggy air, his breath misting up. "All he wanted to do was rule the Joseon Dynasty in peace. But of course the Goryeo invasions and other rivalling aristocrats had to everything up. From what I've read, he was a pretty decent guy."

"Well, he was a king. Obviously he had to suffer through all that or what would be the point of his job?"

"Um.. to just rule and do his job?"

"If only it were that easy." 

"...How the hell did you manage to memorize all that?" she had to ask. 

"I'm good at memorizing things I'm interested in." He smiled at her straight-on and winked. 

What a player.

Even though it was raining. Even though she barely had enough money for the train ride back, even though she'd definitely not gotten a job that day. It was scarily perfect. 

***

Xiumin's POV

She really hadn't changed all that much. 

Surprisingly, though, she had gone along with him to Donggureung, ridiculous as it was, especially since she was job hunting. He was happy, though. That she could strip away responsibilities with him. That he wasn't alone in wanting to escape, to anywhere, anything, anyone. And that anyone happened to be someone he'd always looked at the back of. This floating, unattainable girl, an entity he'd never known and thought he'd just never know, simple as that.

It was 1 am again and he was lying there again, drowning in something more potent than alcohol: repressed thoughts. Memories. It wasn't that he'd had a crush on her, or something like that, it was more like... she was a presence he'd never felt before. Just another face in the crowd. Was there more to it than that? Honestly, no. Not back then. 

His mind vacillated between her, to everything. Back to her. Back to everything. And back to her.