“Astra, what does your name mean?”

 

Taehyung turned away as the dark-haired girl shot a glance at him for that question, the sunflower in her hand quivering slightly. Though the same ethnicity, the girl's essence felt dark, while the boy's felt light; they were different as different could be, yet together and close. In front of them, the sunset glowed in the distance, its rose-colored fingertips creeping slowly across the horizon as day turned to night, darkening, ever so slightly, in satisfaction.

 

“It doesn't sound Korean,” the boy continued, scratching his head. “So I've always wondered what it symbolized”

 

He leaned back against the blanket and looked to the sky, smiling. “Although I have to admit,” he sighed. “It's a very suiting name.”

 

All around the children, the countryside dispersed, fields and fields of wheat stretching as far as the eye could see. The mood was tranquil here, peaceful. In the countryside, where the world was quiet, small troubles and worries seemed to disappear into the distance, as if they never existed. The ending to another day, the conclusion for another story, these were the sort of things sunsets symbolized to the younger boy, but the girl was not the same. For the girl, an ending was only the beginning, a beginning of a new journey and perhaps a passageway to a better world, and she found comfort and distress because of it. Astra was already gone when the boy met her.

 

Although she was destined to never tell him until it was too late.

 

“I don't see why that is relevant here, Kim Taehyung,” she whispered, her dark hair casting a curtain between her and the boy. Her black eyes sparkled with a dull light, iridescent. “It's but a name.”

 

“All names have meaning,” the dreamer insisted, serious. “That is why we receive names, and I would like to know what it is that symbolizes yours.”

 

The girl only looked away, her dark eyes moving to where the sunset was brightest. “Perhaps, Kim Taehyung, if you play me a song on your violin, I will tell you.” Her thoughts were somewhere else from the current situation, but she still responded. “But only then.”

 

She closed her eyes, sighing. “The world makes sense when you play violin.”

 

The sunflower is known as the sunflower because it moves itself in the most direct position in front of the sun in order to adsorb its maximum sun rays. It symbolizes spirituality, positivity, and happiness, which was everything the boy wanted for the girl. She was planning to leave when he first met her, and it affected him, although the girl herself was ignorant. Astra's sunflower was picked up from a different garden, from a city far away from here, and the girl gently touched it as she gazed at the boy. It was a gift; he gave it to her because he wanted her to be happy. She took it because she knew he loved her.

 

So it was that she simply smiled as the boy's fingers inched obediently to his violin, lifting it shakily to his neck at her words. The instrument was gorgeous, aged, yet it seemed ever more ominous in Taehyung's hands.

 

“What song?” The boy's voice was strained, but Astra ignored it.

 

“Something sad.”

 

Taehyung said nothing, but his eyes darkened. Astra watched as his fingers trembled slightly as he raised his bow to the strings. He looked pained, but he hid it with a smile, and Astra felt a pang as he closed his eyes. Taehyung was easygoing, and he had a great life, but he didn't deserve this; no one did. Yet she couldn't let him go.

 

Was she selfish? She decided, 'most definitely,' as a sad, soothing song sang out from the instrument. Taehyung's fingers were nimble and quick, beautiful. Astra watched with big eyes as they moved across the strings. The boy was light and happy, and the girl couldn't help but feel like she was tainting him. A sad song; she was ruthless indeed, but sadness is a feeling that lingers. The music was absolutely breathtaking, at least for her.

 

Astra watched as Taehyung's movements grew ever more intricate, the bow moving at a different speed. A classical piece, that was all the boy ever played. Maybe this one was Debussy, but it could've been Bach too. Astra had never bothered to learn these song names, for they were all a bit too complicated for her and she liked simplicity.

 

But she knew she liked this one. It sounded like moonlight looked, silver and exquisite.

 

And as the song came to an end, and Taehyung's eyes were filled with tears, Astra bounded over to him and spoke excitedly, fascinated. The boy was sad, but now the girl was happy. It was strange how they still remained opposites.

 

“What was that song?” she asked, somewhat elated for some reason. Her windswept hair was now pushed back, exposing her eyes. Taehyung looked tearfully into them as she continued speaking. “That was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.”

 

C. Joybell C. once said “a star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps though your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes a part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky and it'll be the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done.” That was the exact thing Taehyung was feeling at this moment as he gazed at the one person who made the stars look dull. The girl looked so happy, and even though he was sad, he smiled. For him, Astra drowned out the world, in good ways and bad. When he had seen her on the first day of school, he knew that he had to save her, for she looked so broken. He had never seen anyone who had already given up.

 

And now he was breaking too.

 

“It's Clair de Lune by Debussy,” the boy intoned, his voice hushed. His fingers trembled on the violin as he spoke. “And now, you have to tell me what your name means as well. You promised.”

 

Astra smiled and leaned up against him, pointing up. Her pale fingers seemed amused. “My name means 'from the stars' in Greek,” she laughed, light-hearted. Her eyes sparkled with the cosmos. “So when I leave, just think of me as going back home. It'll be easier that way, and I don't want you to grieve.”

 

Taehyung jumped at that statement as his fingers dug into the grass. He had been half-expecting those words, but it sounded ever more choking said out loud. So forbidden, but it was reality.

 

He shook his head, shocked. “I can't accept that.” His voice broke violently, horrified. The sky seemed to darken. “I won't accept that.”

 

Yet Astra couldn't seem to care less as she closed her eyes and ignored him, interlocking their fingers together. He didn't even fight, simply staring at her, but his posture said everything. You can't leave me. Please, you'll break me.

 

But at that moment, her answering voice was resolute and quiet, as if she had already left, and it was at that moment Taehyung realized that life was cruel.

 

Astra smiled softly, fingers tightening as she uttered her next words.

 

“I'm sorry, Kim Taehyung.”

 

 

 

 

Clair de Lune was the song that played at her funeral, and when that song came on, Taehyung swore he would never touch another violin again. Life was a sick joke, especially at that moment. Fate had it in for him from the beginning, but he never knew tragedy could hurt this much. It was strange that with her leaving, Astra would leave a trail of destruction in her path. Was suicide selfish? Taehyung didn't know, and frankly he didn't care, but he did know he would never be able to look at another sunflower again.

 

Was she watching from the stars?

 

Walking to her coffin, everyone was allowed flowers of any choice. Most people picked roses or lilies, as they felt that those were prettiest, and even her parents brought the typical “Baby's Breath” for their lost child. The coffin was overflowing with colors, but it was overwhelming for the boy. They say that time heals all wounds, but the dreamer felt frozen in time. How can one recover when they're trapped?

 

Cyclamen: the flowers of farewell. These were the flowers that Taehyung picked, and he alone refused to cry. He looked at the coffin, engraved and golden, and knew that she had been dead when he met her. It was just a shame he had fallen before he realized it.

 

Her picture sat in front of her coffin like a curse. Even in her last picture she was frowning.

 

“To you, whom I cannot love.” Why didn't you love me enough to stay?

 

Taehyung closed his eyes, darkness settling across the event as the sun set, similar to that one reminiscent day when they both were alive.

 

It seemed a million miles astray.

 

Clair de Lune was still on repeat in the background as he set the flowers down and walked away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part Three: In the Stars

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching.

Love like you'll never be hurt.

Sing like there's nobody listening.

And live like it's heaven on Earth.”

-William W. Purkey

 

 

 

 

 

Jin liked the sky.

 

He liked the azure blue expanse, with its breezes and beauty, and he enjoyed the sights and hues. He savored each and every one of its heather clouds and occasional rainbows, and he basked in its golden-tinged sunsets. Life was easier when it was factual; he learned this from an early age. Even better, it was fantastic when everything could be proven by science. The world was much simpler under the certainty of the sun, and the sky was more beautiful when it was clockwork. Afterall, from birth to now, it had always been above him, leading him onwards towards the future.

 

It was concrete and inescapable in every way.

 

The T.A watched with condescending eyes as Taehyung roamed the library in front of him, his tired facial expression dreamy as he gazed at the rows of books. The school's library was very old and seldom visited, but the younger boy claimed it had an interesting variety of astronomy publications. According to the words written by these harebrained authors, space was infinite and never-ending, and Taehyung believed every word and description like it was the bible. It was strange how faithfully the younger boy clung to the meaning of forever. The kid never even bothered to finish books, almost like he was terrified of ends.

 

It was most confusing for the older boy.

 

Jin's eyes quickly skimmed Taehyung's carefully-picked selections and sighed heavily as he realized every single one had the word “star” in it somewhere. The T.A had known the alien for nearly two months now, and he knew that this was where he came if the alien ever disappeared. Taehyung was fascinating, but he was also frustrating. The older boy spent more time than his liking beside him in the library, breathing in old dust-motes and fighting off spiderwebs. Fields weren't the only place the alien dreamed apparently; the boy fell asleep on books too, and it wasn't even sometimes, it was often. It was to the point where the librarian even laid out blankets for him.

 

Jin just didn't understand how he could stand the spiders.

 

Standing and dusting himself off, the T.A could only sigh, then choke as he breathed in more dust. He watched as the dreamer walked on obliviously ahead of him, looking rather sleepy as he almost tripped. Regardless of how exactly Taehyung felt about it, the older boy liked the clockwork sky, not space. To him. space was confusing, jumbled, and left too much to the imagination. Frankly spoken, everything the younger boy excitedly spouted made Jin's head hurt. It was all too nonsensical for him.

 

When the teacher mentioned that Taehyung was strange, Jin had never expected this.

 

“You okay there, son?”

 

The T.A jumped as the voice intruded into his thoughts, jerking him back to reality. He shook his head furiously as he realized he had been daydreaming. How strange; he seemed to do that increasingly often nowadays. A side-affect to hanging out with Taehyung he assumed.

 

The thought-intruder grinned at the confused older boy as he leaned causally against a book shelf, apparently unbothered by its dusty features. Jin stared at him, rather unnerved by his smile. The other boy was wearing a school uniform under a red jersey, looking rather important but not too much. His face was long and his grin was mischievous, and he gestured down at himself with a cocky wave. Tall, casual, and wearing loose clothes, the intruder was perhaps the worst kind of hooligan: a smart one. How unfortunate. Jin narrowed his eyes as he appraised him, attempting to read his name-tag swiftly.

 

The boy just snorted, rolling his eyes.

 

“Don't bother, I'm Hoseok, the library T.A,” he laughed, slouching obnoxiously. His name-tag shined as he offered his hand. “And I know all about you, Valedictorian. You're so smart I'm surprised I hardly see you in the library more often, but you've been coming around more frequently I see.” He grinned and ruffled his hair nonchalantly. “Must be because of Weirdo McWeirdoson.”

 

Jin blinked, rather aghast as he returned the handshake. “Excuse me?” He didn't understand hooligan language. “I don't understand.”

 

At that one, the library T.A just snorted again and nodded in Taehyung's general direction, waggling an eyebrow.

 

“I'm talking about the blonde kid that falls asleep in fields and seems ually attracted to stars,” he joked, grinning. His hooded eyes seemed taunting in a way. “Although I suspect, he's probably your love interest.”

 

Jin nearly choked at that one. “Excuse me!?” he nearly yelped. “I'm not-”

 

“Don't try to hide it.” Hoseok chuckled, waving him off. “It's pretty obvious.”

 

He scratched his head and smirked at the blonde boy, who was dozing slightly, as Jin continued looking appalled.

 

“You look at him like he's the one thing you can see clearly.”

 

The older boy watched, rather dismayed as Hoseok laugh again, encircling him almost as if he were an experiment. Up ahead, Taehyung was still clueless, out of earshot, and Jin couldn't be more relieved. He eyed the library T.A with a dark glare, rather annoyed that he was making him feel so uncomfortable as he looked him over from head to toe. It was almost violating, but Hoseok just laughed, making Jin grit his teeth. It was enraging how hooligans found angering others okay. Didn't their parents teach them manners?

 

Hoseok shook his head amusedly as Jin glowered.

 

“ bro,” he snickered. “You're looking at me like I'm stupid as . Truth is, I have information you'd probably want.” He leaned back against the shelf again, staring at Jin. “You know that kid you're obsessed with? Well, he's gone through a lot man.” He lifted a book and dusted it off, crinkling his nose before putting it back on the shelf. “Like, to the point where you wonder how he's alive. I went to his middle school and I remember how messed up he got when his girlfriend died. Like , he nearly died too.”

 

The older boy blinked. “His girlfriend died?” Jin's stomach sunk slightly as the other yawned.

 

“Yeah his girlfriend committed suicide when he was in 8^th grade,” he explained off-handedly, shrugging, like it was an everyday experience. “It was pretty sad. He got even weirder after that.” He smirked at the crouching image of the younger boy. “Wouldn't be surprised if HE'S suicidal too.”

 

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Hoseok walked towards the older boy as he leaned into his ear.

 

“Sad, huh?” He whispered. He chortled loudly.

 

Jin said nothing as he too watched Taehyung dream, but he suspected the hooligan saw him in a different light than he. To Hoseok, Taehyung wasn't a man. He was weak and he was weird for loving a girl so much; it was just pathetic. Most highschool boys didn't understand, for they were just BOYS. They weren't even close to what made a man, and they were only stuck with the objectifying images given by mainstream media. To Jin however, he finally understood. From the beginning, he had suspected that there was something behind that lost smile and dreamy eyes, and now he finally knew. Of course, no person could be that lost without a cause made by trauma. Jin couldn't even imagine how that must have felt. To think that someone you loved could have been miserable enough to kill themselves...It was absolutely heartbreaking.

 

And as he realized the truth, he was only filled with anger.

He Hoseok, fuming.

 

“How could you say something like that...” Jin nearly growled, clenching his fist to keep from lashing out. For a minute, the entire library turned red. His voice shook. “You disgusting human being.”

 

Hoseok's eyes widened at the sudden anger as he backed away, hands up. “What?” he stated defensively, frowning. “It's true.” A book fell out from behind him, making Taehyung look up. “What the hell did I do?”

 

Jin said nothing, only taking a few steps closer as he snarled.

 

“You're so ing insensitive.”

 

At this point, both Taehyung and the librarian was staring at the duo with worried eyes, the younger boy half on his feet as Jin grew angrier. The T.A wasn't one to get angry often, but this was just too much. Maybe he really did like Taehyung more than he should, but this was unacceptable. Why were people so unsympathetic and insensitive? Jin silently fumed as Taehyung ran towards him, but he waved the dreamer away. No, Jin decided, Taehyung might get hurt if he listened to this, and he's been hurt enough. The younger sat down as the older fought the urge to punch Hoseok. How could he? How DARE he?

 

The library T.A seemed to sense this and backed away further.

 

“Damn, valedictorian getting defensive.” Hoseok suddenly broke out in a big grin, and he nearly tripped over a book again. Jin noticed the library T.A was starting to sweat through his supposed laughter. “He IS your love interest isn't he?”

 

Jin just glared at him. “I swear to God if you don't get the out of my sight-”

 

“Woah bro, listen,” Hoseok interrupted. He didn't look amused anymore. In fact, he looked rather scared. “I'm sorry I offended you. I actually think it's cute what you're doing, you know?”

 

Jin doubted that highly, but Hoseok waved his hands again, frantic as he continued. “People who commit suicide think that they're just killing themselves, and that's that, but truth is, they take everyone that loved them with them. The kid's lost somewhere in the stars, man, looking for her. It's something straight out of a romance novel.”

 

He stopped and balanced himself slightly, then stared at Jin. “But maybe you can save him.”

 

“What was that?”

 

The older boy froze as Taehyung suddenly gasped, and both Hoseok and he threw a hasty glance at the boy, but it was a false alarm. The younger was only staring at one of his books with bright eyes, face alight as he read an interesting fact. No wonder Taehyung read books, most of them have happy endings. He liked fake stories he could read without tears. It all made bittersweet sense now.

 

Jin slumped as he felt the world on his shoulders.

 

Hoseok cleared his throat loudly, awkwardly patting him on the back. “I'm sorry I offended you, man,” he sighed, tentatively scared. “I know I seem insensitive, but to be honest I just don't know how to act. I'm kind of stupid; didn't mean to make you angry. I wasn't making fun of him, just leading up to my big statement.”

 

“And what is that?” Jin's voice was hushed, more than it needed to be, and Hoseok had to strain his ears to hear him. “What are you trying to say...”

 

Hoseok looked down, again glancing at Taehyung, but this time he didn't smile. His hands came to his sides wholeheartedly as he spoke.

 

“I'm just saying man,” he started. Another book fell behind him, but this time, he didn't even flinch. “That kid locked away his heart and threw away the key. He swore he would never love again, selling himself away to the stars.”

 

His voice was utterly quiet as he continued that statement. Jin still refused to look up.

 

“Maybe you're the light that can lead him back home.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

&

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The pictures Taehyung drew told stories.

 

They were usually the stories that people avoided, but for the dreamer, there was no choice. The layers of emotions and sadness he drew were all stories he couldn't escape. Pieces of memories wove themselves together like a quilt, building a wall of misery that few could penetrate. Dreams couldn't be reached here; it was too real. This was his reality, and his pencil painted darkness. The world wasn't bright when the stars weren't shining.

 

Taehyung ignored the world as he plunged himself into his work, blocking out the people around him. They would never understand anyways, the pain of loss. Humans were more likely to mock him really. At night, the boy dreamed of interlocked fingers and sunsets, and he dreamed of a girl he would never forget. In the morning, he would wake up and realize that life was cruel, and it would feel like she was dying all over again. Her scars were back and she wouldn't agree that she was beautiful, and her sorry would cling to his heart.

 

Dreams were truly better than reality.

 

The boy backed up as he scrutinized his drawing, letting out a sigh of satisfaction as he realized it was perfect. It was perfect, absolutely perfect. Its imperfections only made it more perfect. It was strange how small masterpieces were the only things that brought him true joy nowadays, considering he'd only started art two years ago. He couldn't even sleep because of his art, and it was no wonder.

 

Sketch, erase, edit, then sketch again. It was an ever-going process.

 

The drawing was done in dark pastel this time, and as usual, it was overcast in shadows, yet the stars that shined within drowned out the darkness. Nowadays, to Taehyung, the T.A was radiant. No matter how stoic and serious the boy appeared, to Taehyung, he was a guardian. What made a man anyways? The candid ability to seduce women to bed, or the ability to protect everyone they love with the utmost truth? Taehyung knew the answer to his question, yet nowadays, he doubted anyone else did. He blamed media for clouding minds, but at least Jin was something of a man of wax. He hoped the older boy knew this, and contemplated telling him, but then blushed slightly, shaking his head.

 

Nowadays, Jin was all Taehyung could think of, but he would never admit it. He would never admit the slight awe he felt whenever he saw him, and he would never admit the quickened heartbeats. He saw him in the same things he once saw her, but he wasn't replacing her; they were sharing. Taehyung often recently stayed awake at night thinking about this, telling Jin how he felt, but he was afraid of rejection. There were pockets of emptiness in Taehyung's heart, and they were becoming ever filled once more. Light was coming back into his life, encasing him in warmth.

 

Was it selfish to move on?

 

Forever forever forever...Taehyung would never admit he was falling in love, or that The T.A was patching over his heart. It was too soon for that, but maybe it was meant to be. Perhaps the boy would find forever in his arms, like the story of this piece.

 

He stepped back and touched the drawing of Jin's star-lit eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

&

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

-Dr. Seuss

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

&

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Do you play?”

 

Jin looked up as Taehyung gestured towards the violin in the corner, his forehead wrinkling into a crease as he stared. The duo was at it again, tutoring despite their differences, and this time, the younger had noticed the instrument on the mantle. It was old, beautiful, and definitely expensive, but Taehyung looked at it with unreadable eyes. Jin watched the boy carefully, somewhat baffled, but curious all the same.

 

There was something very nostalgic and reminiscent about the way the younger boy stared at the music maker, but also something incredibly painful. It was rather unnerving, almost like Taehyung wanted to play, but was scared, somehow, that it would hurt him. To Jin, it was a mysterious look, yet also somewhat familiar, like he had seen it in a dream.

 

He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

 

“Yeah, I've played since I was young,” the older answered steadily, fiddling with his pencil as he observed the dreamer. “How about you, Kid?” He pulled forward and clasped his hands together. “Have you played before?”

 

“Same as you actually, I've played since I was young,” Taehyung intoned, his eyes growing ever more tired. He looked down. “But I quit two years ago, you see, for various reasons.”

 

Jin stared at the way the boy wavered, confused at his strange tone.

 

“And why is that?” Jin asked, his dark eyes probing. His fingers drummed on the table. “Why is it that an artistic boy like you quit violin?”

 

The dreamer gulped, then turned aside, eyes darkening. His hands found his pockets.

 

“It just didn't feel right anymore,” he sighed softly.

 

They say that whenever somebody loves another to the infinite level, a small part of their soul gets transferred into them, so that when the loved one dies, the other will never be whole again. The T.A suspected that was how Taehyung felt at this moment, as he stared at the violin, and couldn't help but feel a pang.

 

For you see, when that occurs, suddenly all things connected to that loved one seems cursed and pained. It grows terrifying, eating them, and for a time, the world seems bleak. It's a feeling that many go through in the course of their lives, but the pain seems forever when you're young. Jin observed carefully as Taehyung's fists clenched, and for a moment, fought the urge to get up and hold him. The dead girlfriend...he wondered who she was, and how she had managed to hurt another like this. The T.A imagined it must be hard for a lover to have to live with knowing that everyone simply remembered her as “the one who committed suicide.” That was all she was to them. She was nothing. It must be ruining.

 

“Are you going to tell me those reasons, or do I have to guess?” Jin asked as he got up and leaned against a wall. “Something tells me you hold a lot inside, Kim Taehyung,” the older boy stared. “It's bizarre.”

 

The dreamer said nothing, holding his gaze.

 

“There's a lot of rumors about you, Kid,” Jin continued. “To be honest, I wonder what you're hiding from me. It's been several months now and I feel like you're still a stranger as you were when we first met.” He frowned softly, but not critically. “Who are you?”

 

The younger snorted slightly, looking away.

 

“I'm Kim Taehyung,” Taehyung asserted. He too frowned at the other. “And why does everyone refer to me by my full name?” he sighed. “I don't see the point.”

 

“Who refers to you like that besides me, Kim Taehyung?” Jin walked towards the violin as Taehyung watched with wary eyes. “You don't talk to anyone besides your tutor, from what I can see.”

 

At that one, the younger seemed to melt slightly. His tired eyes grew even more sleepy.

 

“Oh I'm sorry,” he smiled softly. “I meant everyone I care about.”

 

“And do you care about me, Kim Taehyung?” Jin asked, slightly shocked.

 

The dreamer looked up, and his form stiffened, but he still answered.

 

“Yes,” he interlocked his fingers. His whole body seemed to freeze. “Way more than I should.”

 

“Oh?” The older lifted an eyebrow, cocking his head. “And why is that?”

 

The dreamer gulped loudly, yet he still smiled, closing his eyes.

 

“You remind me of her,” he said dreamily.

 

Jin was silent, only staring at the way Taehyung glared at his fingers, as if bitter for some profound reason. The girl, who was she? That was exactly what hurt. She had gone to oblivion, the older was sure, and now she was lost forever. Jin could only watch sympathetically as the younger faltered, trying to process how that must feel.

 

'He hasn't let go,' that's what Hoseok had said, and as Jin gently touched the violin, he could see in Taehyung's flinching eyes that it was true. The younger's heart and mind was lost in an unreachable place somewhere in the cosmos, destined to linger until someone pulled him down. Perhaps for the young lady, her home was somewhere in the stars, but the dreamer had always known that his home was with her. Maybe that was why he was lost to this day, trying to find his way back home.

 

The people who lingered in dreams were those destined to be hurt again, but the older's mindset seemed to be this, as was the mindsets of every brazenly rational person before him.

 

“You can't hide from reality forever.”

 

Taehyung watched in slight awe and horror as Jin picked up the violin, gently blowing the dust off it and showing it to the younger.

 

“It belonged to my grandfather,” he grinned, holding it out. “You can play it if you like.”

 

The dreamer hurriedly shook his head. “No, I don't think so.” He paused slightly. “Please don't play it.”

 

“Oh but I have to.” You have to wake up, Kim Taehyung. “But don't worry, I'll play whatever you want.”

 

The younger watched questioningly as Jin sighed, lifting the instrument to his neck. In the older's mind, this was doing a favor, for he just wanted to help the other move on, but with that, the older only completed a Deja Vu moment similar to the one in that wheat field so many years ago. 

 

“What song?” Jin asked, quietly, and he waited for the other's response.

 

Taehyung could only smile.

 

“Something sad.” His voice broke slightly. “If you insist on doing this.”

 

The older boy stared, but said nothing, closing his eyes as he tried to remember the music.

 

“If you say so,” he sighed softly.

 

 

 

The song was overwhelmingly sad. That much was obvious. Its rhythm hurled mercilessly around the room, and its tune haunted every fiber of the boys' bodies. Bach's Charconne: it was absolutely unmistakable. Taehyung had to admit that the haunting tune was slightly less painful than Clair de Lune, but it hurt all the same.

 

Park Astra, the girl who died. Why couldn't people remember her as the girl who fought to live?

 

An old woman had once told the dreamer that ghosts were people who met untimely death. Taehyung couldn't help but wonder if Astra was a ghost, and if she was watching over him, still just as depressed as before. The music grew and so did the boy's fears. The simple fathom was almost as unbearable as the thought of her being lost forever. He suspected many people who had gone through similar experiences felt the same. He clenched his fist as the music quickened.

 

The boy had watched too many videos of people playing Bach's Chaconne, and he knew that despite their different stories, there was a general theme. The song, as long as it was, was dedicated to Bach's young wife, who had met untimely death, and the rhythm was only symbolizing a life span met with ultimate oblivion. The people who played the song with tears streaming from their eyes were people who had experienced loss. No matter how skilled, a violinist had to be broken to properly play this song. It was an unspoken rule, and Taehyung had never challenged it.

 

There was a reason why he himself had never played after his tragedy, and he knew why he didn't. The boy had never thought that someday, he would experience something that would make him able to play the song, for the thought was repulsive, gross, but it was now the reality he was living. The music would only unlock more sadness, and break him further. “You can run, but you can't hide,” felt a reality to him at this moment. The song was inevitable, and as the younger boy swayed to the beat, the music unlocked something deep inside him that he had battled to keep locked up for so long.

 

But surprisingly, it wasn't what he expected.

 

“Jin...what are you doing?”

 

The boy sounded nonchalant. “Playing.”

 

“No you're not...”

 

It wasn't love.

 

Taehyung was shocked to realize that it was a more aggressive sensation. Jin was great at violin, but there was something about the way he played that made Taehyung struggle to breathe. The boy hadn't felt this way for years. Anger and rage were strong emotions that he himself couldn't feel in his dream state, but he could feel himself waking up. Rich kids had certain requirements, and one of them was usually music. Taehyung suspected that Jin had only started playing violin because he had to, not because of passion like the younger did. It was evident in everything the older boy did. The T.A's eyes weren't even closed, and he blinked blankly as it grew. The fact that he was playing this song while he himself was untainted was almost insulting to the music.

 

The song was underwhelming, stopping short of emotions and only falling flat. The crescendos and vibrations were only there to impress, not there to help tell the story. The greatest violinists, or musicians in general, were people who played wholeheartedly; or in other words, people with passion. Nowadays, most people only played because they had to, or because it would give them advantages. The fact that Jin was one of these people was unsurprising, but it was frustrating all the same.

 

The music was beautiful, but it was stoic. Taehyung stared as Jin looked on with empty eyes. It was almost like he was doing it on purpose, but why? There were no mistakes whatsoever, but it was emotionless. The dreamer cursed that the T.A had felt the need to let his rationality come out at this very important moment. That wasn't how music was supposed to be played.

 

Getting up stiffly, Taehyung walked right up to Jin and snatched the instrument right out of his hands, raising it to his neck. The boy was angry, but he felt awake. It was even more overwhelming than sadness, and as he raged, he missed the way the older boy smirked at him, as if this was planned.

 

“That's not how you play a song,” Taehyung said, gritting his teeth. The room was dark, and the boy had played right into his hands. “You play it like it's a requirement. You have to play it like it's an honor.”

 

Jin blinked, feinting surprise, although he truly was unsettled by the crazy, awake light in Taehyung's eyes.

 

“I don't understand,” he spoke, blankly. “What do you mean-”

 

Taehyung shook his head, interrupting him. “Until you know what story you want to share,” he tightly shut his eyes, slightly marveling at the emotions that coursed through his being. “You cannot lift your bow to the strings.”

 

Hands trembling, Taehyung shakily tightened his grip, and as the violin came back into his heart, and the music took over his soul, everything...everything the boy had held in all these years came spilling out. He took a deep breath. The frustration, the music, and most of all, Jin's rationality, was just too overwhelming, and it was at that moment that Taehyung opened up for the first time.

 

“Her name was Astra, Jin,” he answered. “Her name meant 'from the stars' and now she's gone back home. She had ty parents and a horrible self-esteem, but she was a girl of variety. Her mind held ideas and stories that people could've marveled at, and she had an artistic fervor that should have been fed. This girl was two years older than me, but she was my friend. She deserved so much better than this.”

 

He let his hands position themselves on the instrument.

 

“Astra was my everything, Jin, especially at that point in time, and honestly, I wish she would just leave, because she still lingers here to this day. She liked sunflowers, so now it hurts to see them. She was an artist, so now I'm an artist, although I'll never be as good as her. It hurts you know? Knowing that the way you're living is because someone hurt you. That girl haunts my dreams. I wish it didn't need to be this way.”

 

He stared ahead, then let the mood capture him. He was feeling especially irrational today.

 

“So,” Taehyung smiled, lifting the bow to the strings. “I dedicate this song to you, the bastard who forced this cursed thing back into my hands. Try to understand my story.”

 

Jin broke out into a wide grin as the younger smiled, and the sky seemed to open. There was something both very beautiful and cruel about this moment. This was what the T.A had been aiming for, and the younger knew it, yet he couldn't be angry. How could he really, when reality felt more vivid than it had in ages? He was awake, and this time, it wasn't a nightmare. There was someone here for him.

 

“Mr. Robot, I think I love you,” Taehyung laughed, and he closed his eyes. “Don't die on me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

&

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was like the moon had come down from the sky and shined just for them.

 

Jin watched, hypnotized, as Taehyung worked his magic with the music, awestruck completely as the rhythm dipped. Bach's Chaconne had never sounded so much like melted chocolate. It's smooth tune rang out and overtook the mood, each note savory and lingering like caramel. Its crescendos layered like cream and soared like ecstasy. Its tempo changes were sudden, but moved with the air. Jin had never felt so enthralled.

 

Taehyung let out a deep breath as he tried to capture every essence of his story, weaving his words into the notes. The boy had never been a writer, for he believed a picture or a song was worth a thousand words, but at this moment, he became a poet. The tune and blues sang out and captured, and his beat seemed to move the room. Every key change was an emotion. Every differed tempo was a scene. The music seemed to paint a moving picture in the air in front of the older boy, almost like a movie, but his alien was the star. Every key, every note, was a part of a story. The dreamer's expression at the beginning had been one of loss, Jin recognized it now. The world had never seemed so magical.

 

The older boy watched as the first tears left the younger's eyes. They fell like rain, splashing against the violin, and the T.A felt a pang. Taehyung was unique; he was different from the rest, and that wasn't a bad thing. Jin was startled as he realized how much he had changed since he met this boy, although it had only been a few months ago. The world was not as black and white as it had once been, and predictability was boring, for he realized now that life came only once, and it should be lived with freedom.

 

He felt his heart soar.

 

Taehyung had cried a lot when Astra first left, but soon after that, the tears had ceased. Yes, he had cried several times after that, but he had never sobbed. Maybe they had all drained out, or maybe his body blocked out those emotions altogether, but all the boy knew was that he hadn't been fully awake for a while. Perhaps that was why he was crying so hard at this moment, as he played the musical piece that was the epitome of grievance. Perhaps that was why his hands were shaking so hard. At this moment in time, even if it was short, Astra was alive again.

 

“I'm sorry, Kim Taehyung.” And I'm sorry I couldn't save you. If only I had been there to talk you out of it that day instead of going to sleep. Then maybe you would still be here today, listening to me play. Maybe I wouldn't be filled with regret.

 

But now, it was time to move on.

 

Jin leapt forward and caught the dreamer just in time as he nearly collapsed onto the floor. The antique violin clattered and came to a stop a few feet from him, but neither boy looked to check on its state. Taehyung reached out and gripped Jin's shirt as the older attempted to brush the blond's hair out of his eyes, smile fervid yet steady as he breathed out his next words.

 

“Did you understand my story?”

 

Laughing, the T.A nodded, and he held the smaller boy closer to himself. The dreamer was right: why had his eyes been closed when the world was so beautiful? There wasn't an answer, but it was better late than never. His heart was going off like a helicopter, loud and rapid in his chest, but caught up in his emotions, Jin couldn't care less, and at that moment, Taehyung swore that he could see the Milky Way.

 

“The song's a story of heartbreak.”

 

The younger smiled, and drew Jin closer. His whisper lingered on the older's lips.

 

“But I'm moving on.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

&

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Release the damn balloon, Kim Taehyung!”

 

Laughter filled the air as the blonde boy spazzed out and giggled, holding the balloon out in the air. Many months had passed since the inevitable, and the school was just starting to quiet down over the fact that their cold valedictorian had gotten with the strangest kid in the school. Jin was someone of high status at this rather boring high school, so the fact that his first choice at a relationship had been with someone not only strange, but a boy, was just something unheard of.

 

Weirdly enough, both boys' parents were fine with it however, as Taehyung's parents were only relieved that their child was alive again while Jin's were only concerned over where their son's priorities stood. After confirming and reassuring both of them that he was sure to take over his father's company when he was older, both adults calmed down and accepted the relationship. As badly approached as they were, they only wanted the best for their child. Jin's parents even invited Taehyung over for a dinner once, which the boy politely declined (much to the older's horror).

 

Neither parent were particularly happy over that one, but they let it go.

 

Regardless of awkward beginnings, the boys were very happy with eachother. Yes, there were still times that Jin frowned over some of the irrational things that Taehyung did, but there were also moments that the alien stood astounded over something fantastical the older said. The two suited eachother, despite being opposites, and they accepted eachother's flaws with love and understanding. Miss Jung was very amused over the fact that she had somehow played matchmaker.

 

Taehyung stared at his balloon with softened eyes, hands still a little shaky. This balloon exercise was something, surprisingly, the older had thought up. In the balloon was a message for the stars, or more specifically Astra, whom both boys were absolutely certain must be a constellation by now. The words in that letter were delicately written by Taehyung, and thoroughly spell-checked by Jin. In the end, the letter ended up a masterpiece, but it was one that was only to be seen by (hopefully) three people. The balloon was going to carry it to where it would be received, but this was how it was ended.

 

To the one I see in everything that is beautiful about dreams and reality. Thank you for the memories, my star, my Astra. I will never forget you.

 

It was a bittersweet feeling letting it go.

 

Jin slowly drew his hands around the other's waist as both watched the message fly up to the heavens. In the distance, the sunset glowed, its red light capturing every essence of realty; planted around the two, were rows and rows of sunflowers, each turning to where the sunset was brightest. In the aftermath, it was unclear what Astra symbolized exactly, but both made it their duty that she would never be shamed or forgotten. All around the world were people who thought that they didn't matter, or that no one would care if they died, but the truth was, everyone, no matter how small, had a place in the universe. Every human being had a heart that beats and a mind that dreams, and everyone has someone that loves them. Everyone has someone that will miss them if they fly away.

 

The older boy tightly held Taehyung's hands in his own and knew that he would never let the boy fly away. Never in his life had he felt so free and away from his responsibilities. Here, in front of him, was someone who he wanted to spend the rest of his existence with, and step forward in life with, for even with the inevitable oblivion, their love was as constant as the stars, and not even gravity could hold them down.

 

And at the moment, as Jin moved down to capture the other's lips in a kiss, he saw something in Taehyung's eyes that were far more beautiful than the cosmos.

 

“I love you, Kid, and I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life.”

 

The other hummed his approval and moved closer to the other, a slight giggle leaving his throat. Throughout life, there are moments of happiness and moments of depression, but at the end, it all comes together in one perfect journey that is far more meaningful than the most breathtaking of dreams. Maybe this moment would not be remembered hundreds of years from now, but for the two lovers, it was all that mattered.

 

Perhaps this meeting of two hearts was just coincidence, or perhaps it was written in the stars.

 

“I love you more, Mr. Robot.”

 

 

-Fin-