Baekhyun doesn’t know how long has it been since the last time he talked to Chanyeol.

What he knows perfectly is he’s been doing fine without talking to Chanyeol

Baekhyun doesn’t know how long since the last time he opened facebook.

But he knows that Chanyeol’s album is full of pictures of him and people he doesn’t know, full of pictures of him and Sulli

Baekhyun doesn’t know what Chanyeol do in his weekend

But Baekhyun has been spending his weekend alone, drinking frappe in his favorite café and watching people passing by until the sun sets.

Baekhyun doesn’t feel any tug in his chest whenever he sees couple holding hand anymore, because he’s used having his hand empty without holding anybody’s hand.

Sometimes Baekhyun wonders, would it be different if Chanyeol was here?

Would he sit in the café with Baekhyun instead? Would his facebook full of pictures of them both instead? Would he hold Baekhyun’s hand?

Sometimes Baekhyun wonders, what went wrong? What makes him feel empty?

Is it because Chanyeol not here? Is it because he feels like he doesn’t know Chanyeol? Is it because the long distance and the time zone?

Sometimes Baekhyun wonders why he feels like he’s not in relationship.

Maybe because Chanyeol was not there on his downfall? Maybe because Chanyeol was not there to wipe away his tears? Maybe because Chanyeol was not there to laugh in happiness with him?

Maybe it’s because Chanyeol has been away for a long time that he feels like Chanyeol was never beside him.

Maybe it’s because he’s so used spending his time alone.

Baekhyun realized since a long time ago that doesn’t matter how much he cries because he misses Chanyeol, the latter won’t be here beside him.

Baekhyun stares at the picture of Chanyeol and him on his phone. The first and the last photo they ever took together. It’s a photo when Chanyeol had his farewell party.

Baekhyun rubs the screen, wishing he could touch Chanyeol’s cheek and tell him how much he missed him.

He looks at the picture for a long time before taps the screen.

Picture deleted.

He puts his phone in his pocket then takes out his ticket. He grabs his suitcase then proceeds to the gate.

Sometimes Baekhyun wonders, would things be different if he said ‘no’ ?