2012

 

He stands in front of the school, waiting for his dad to pick him up. But suddenly, the giant beside him who always accompanies him until he gets picked up speaks.

 

"Baek, I like you"

 

 

 

Sometimes I just wonder, what makes me special, what did you see in me that you didn't see in him

 

 

---

 

 

2013

 

 

"Just in 10 days and you'll be here!" Chen's voice loudly heard from the laptop.

 

"I know right! I can't wait to see you guys" Baekhyun replies happily.

 

"I promise I will pick you up from the airport, I will be the first one who hugs you!" Chen squeals.

 

"Well, my parents will be there too so I'm pretty sure they will hug me first"

 

"But I will be your first friend slash best friend who hugs you!" cue for eyes-rolling.

 

"Deal" Baekhyun gives Chen a thumb up.

 

Byun Baekhyun is a foreign exchange student. He left his country to spend a year abroad. Year passes quickly and in ten days he will go back home.

 

---

 

 

 

"Are you excited for your new class?" Chen's voice through the phone heard.

 

"I don't know, it scares me actually. Why do you have to graduate without me?!" Baekhyun jokingly snaps at Chen.

 

The latter laughs on the other line, "Well, I'm not the one who decided to go abroad on the last year of school" Chen can imagine his best friend pouts though he can't see it.

 

"You'll be fine, don't worry. At least you know some junior who will be your classmates, right?" he asks again.

 

"Hmm yeah" Baekhyun lazily replies

 

"Good luck, Baek! I gotta go, class starts soon. Better be ready for tomorrow!"

 

They say bye to each other before end the call.

 

Baekhyun went to study abroad to the US as an exchange student on his last year of high school. When he was abroad, his friends already graduated from high school then go to college or universities out of the province. Now he comes back home, he has to continue his study where he left it before his exchange program. That's why he's nervous to have his juniors-turned-out-seniors-now as his classmates. True, he knows some of them because last year they were in the same club or school activities. But that doesn't make him any less worry. First day of school always freaks him out.

 

Baekhyun sighs, turns his laptop on then log in to facebook. As soon as he's online, he gets a new chat message.

 

Park Chanyeol : Baek! You're online!

 

Baekhyun chuckles.

 

Park Chanyeol was his junior but now they're on the same grade, even share the same new class. Chanyeol and Baekhyun are close since the first time they met in the choir. Chanyeol has always calls him by his name without any honorific even though Baekhyun is older. But he's fine with it.

 

Byun Baekhyun : hey Park! How are you?

Park Chanyeol : I'm great! We're in the same class, right?

Byun Baekhyun : yup. Aren't you excited to have this fabulous baekhyun as your classmate? Lol

Park Chanyeol : I actually am :D

Byun Baekhyun : I'm nervous though o.O

Park Chanyeol : naah, you'll be fine :D

Byun Baekhyun : I hope so o.O

Park Chanyeol : I'll wait for you in front of the school?

Byun Baekhyun : sure, that'd be awesome, thank you Park.

Park Chanyeol : and how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me park? -_-

 

Baekhyun laughs. Well, it's always fun to call Chanyeol by his family name.

 

"Baek, are you ready? We need to pick up your uniform, dear" Baekhyun's mom stands on his door.

 

"I'll be down in a minute mom" he replies.

 

He types a reply to Chanyeol quickly.

 

Byun Baekhyun : gotta go to pick my uniform. See you tomorrow chan!

 

 

---

 

 

Baekhyun lets out a long sigh. He comes to school to early, he was to paranoid to come late. But here he is, stands in front of the school all by himself.

 

He sighs again then decides to go to the announcement board where he can see the list of students’ names and the class. He checks his class and recognizes few names as his classmates.

 

One by one students start filling the school. Some of them who recognize Baekhyun give him a polite bow as greetings which he replies as equal.

 

He's about to text Chanyeol when he hears someone running towards him. He raises his head to see Chanyeol smiles ear to ear, he's still panting from the running he did.

 

Baekhyun smiles, "Good morning"

 

Chanyeol smiles wider if that's even possible. Then Baekhyun realizes Chanyeol's friends come to gather around him. They greet Baekhyun.

 

"Oh, you're Jongin, right?" Baekhyun points at Chanyeol's friend who stands beside Chanyeol. 

 

"Yes, sunbae" Jongin answers

 

"Ah, just drop the honorific, I'm fine without it. You can call me Baekhyun. Chanyeol calls me Baekhyun since the first time we know each other"

 

They talk for some more. Baekhyun tries to get closer with his classmates. But suddenly Yixing comes closer. Baekhyun remembers him as one of the basketball player of the school.

 

"Hold on, are you guys finally dating now?" Yixing points on Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun frowns, "Excuse me?"

 

"You know, when you were in--"

 

"Waa!! Ahaha, what are you saying?" Chanyeol awkwardly covers Yixing's mouth with his hand.

Baekhyun stares at Chanyeol's weird gesture then at Yixing, face full with question marks.

 

"Let's go to the class, bell rings soon" Jongin finally says. 

 

 

---

 

 

When they finally in the class, Baekhyun can't help but feel conscious. He is pretty sure Chanyeol has been looking at him from the other side of the classroom since the beginning of the class. Oh no, he’s not being a narcissist or self-centered attention deprived brat. He listened clearly when Mrs. Jung asked Chanyeol to keep his eyes to the board, not to the person who sits two rows away from him. And yes, Baekhyun is that person. He sits on the front seat of the second row in the class. Kyungsoo is next to the chair on his left, and then Chanyeol is on Kyungsoo’s left. Three of them sit on the most front seat of the different rows.

Wait, he might stare at Kyungsoo. The teacher might be mistaken. Right, after all Kyungsoo is his boyfriend, isn’t he?

Sigh, Baekhyun buries his face in his folded arms.

 

Sometimes I just wonder, was it me that you were looking at?

 

---

 

 

“Hey”

Baekhyun looks up to see a pretty boy greets him. Somehow his face is familiar, but Baekhyun isn’t sure.

“Uhm, hey” Baekhyun replies.

“Do you remember me, Baekhyun-hyung? We were in the same choir last year, oh well, before you went to America” the pretty boy says.

Baekhyun tries to remember, “Oh, wait, are you Luhan? Right?”

The boy smiles, “Yes, it’s me Luhan! Gosh, I was afraid you’d forget my name, haha”

“I remember you, Luhan. Just drop the honorifics, I’m fine without it. You can just call me Baekhyun”

“Oh? Is that really okay? I mean, I don’t wanna be rude, you’re older than me after all” Luhan takes a seat beside Baekhyun’s seat.

“Nah, it’s fine. My host sister in America calls me Baekhyun, or Baek all the time, and she’s only 7”

“Alright then, Baek”

They both laugh. Soon Baekhyun finds himself getting closer to Luhan. They spend the lunch break to talk about everything.

 

“Hey Baek, have you eaten your lunch?” Chanyeol comes and ruffles Baekhyun’s  hair, he sits on the chair behind Baekhyun.

“Uhm, no actually. I didn’t go to the cafeteria. Talking with Luhan sounds even more tempting than lunch now” Baekhyun smiles at Chanyeol. He then immediately looks down when Chanyeol stares at him. There’s something different on the way Chanyeol looks at him.

Luhan sees the interaction between the two, he also sees Jongin and Kyungsoo come towards them.

“I’ll take my leave first then. I think I need to go to Sehun. Nice to talk with you, Baek” Luhan waves then goes outside the classroom.

 

Soon Jongin and Kyungsoo sit with Chanyeol and Baekhyun too.

 

“So…” Chanyeol starts speaking.

“Hmm?” Baekhyun hums, playing with his phone.

“I see you’re getting closer to Luhan.”

Baekhyun beams, “Yeah, he’s really nice. We were in the same club before”

“Yeah, I know that” Chanyeol mumbles.

“I’m sorry, what was it?” Baekhyun turns his attention to Chanyeol.

“Nothing. Hey Soo, remember to stay after school later, we have club activities” Chanyeol turns his attention to Kyungsoo. The latter just nods then keeps playing with his tab. Baekhyun always sees Kyungsoo plays with his tab.

“You guys still in the Physics club?” Baekhyun asks, directing his question to both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

“Ah no, it’s English Club. They have to practice for the upcoming debate competition” Jongin answers for Baekhyun.

Baekhyun nods in acknowledgement.

 

---

 

In a span of week, Baekhyun and Luhan exclaim themselves as bestfriends. In the class, Luhan is the one who Baekhyun can talk with, comfortably. Of course, there are Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Jongin. But Baekhyun doesn’t want to meddle between ‘couple’. It’s not like Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are the kind of couple who shows affection here and there. Sure, they are close, but it looks more like close friends rather than couple in relationship.

What makes Baekhyun isn’t really comfortable is the fact that most students will look or even stare at him whenever he’s around Chanyeol. It’s not like his fault that Chanyeol is willing to wait with him after school until he gets picked up.

Despite his personal uneasiness he gets because of the unwanted attention, Baekhyun adapts really well with his new classmates. They seem to talk more comfortably to each other now.

One day, when the trio (that’s how Baekhyun calls Chanyeol-Kyungsoo-Jongin) can’t accompany him at lunch, Luhan kindheartedly asks Baekhyun to sit with him.

“Oh, you’re eating spaghetti! Fancy~” Luham beams, looking at Baekhyun’s lunch box.

“Uhm, well, I can’t really eat Korean or Asian food for now, they’re too spicy for me” Baekhyun weakly answers.

“I understand. You spent one year eating western food anyway, it’s quite different from our food, isn’t it?” Luhan asks.

Baekhyun nods.

 

The two newly bestfriends then eat in comfortable silence.

 

 

“Hey, Baek?” Luhan breaks the silence.

“Hmm?” Baekhyun hums, still munching his food.

“Did he ask you out, yet?” Luhan asks in wonder.

 

Baekhyun nearly chokes his food, “W-who?”

 

Luhan is taken aback a little bit, “Chanyeol…?”

 

Baekhyun’s small eyes widen, “What?! Why would he ask me out? To where? What did you mean he asked me out?”

Luhan looks even more surprised because of Baekhyun’s reaction, “I take it as you didn’t hear any rumors…?”

“What rumors?” Baekhyun frowns, neglects his lunch because this talk gets him on his nerves somehow.

Luhan tilts his head to the head, as if he’s thinking about something, “Well…”

Baekhyun narrows his eyes, mutely motioning Luhan to continue.

“Chanyeol likes you.” Luhan simply says.

Baekhyun blushes, “No.”

“Don’t deny it, you know it too, don’t you?”

“For godsake, he’s dating Kyungsoo! They’ve been dating for like what? A year? Or even two years?” Baekhyun says in defense.

“They broke up.”

Baekhyun’s mouth gapes open, “You’re kidding me”

“No. I’m being serious here. Why do you think students stare at you whenever you with Chanyeol?” Luhan reasons out.

“Lu… I…” Baekhyun is speechless.

 

Yes, he realizes Chanyeol has been acting differently around him. Just like how Chanyeol insists to wait with him in front of the school gates after school –doesn’t matter if that makes him late to his club- or how Chanyeol looks at him. Baekhyun realizes there’s something different from the way Chanyeol looks at him.

Or from the way he always ruffles Baekhyun’s hair dearly, anytime, anywhere, even their classmates tease them about it. Or even from the way Chanyeol always reminds him to eat his lunch.

Chanyeol makes Baekhyun feels special.

 

“Kyungsoo knows it too. Even his bestfriend, Jongin” Luhan says again.

“What in the world? Then what that makes me? People must think that I am the reason that they broke up! Oh my god, I didn’t know anything about this, this is so awkward!” Baekhyun whines.

“I know, I’m just giving you a head up, because you seem to be oblivious to what happens around you” Luhan jokes, Baekhyun hits him lightly on his arm.

 

 

“Baek?”

Baekhyun looks up from his lunch to see Luhan who calls him, “What now, Lu?”

“You can always say no, you know” Luhan says. Baekhyun already told Luhan about his past relationships, even those relationships when he was in America.

 

Baekhyun smiles, trying to reassure Luhan, “Yeah, I know”

 

Suddenly Baekhyun feels bad for Kyungsoo and he doesn’t even know why.

 

 

---

 

“Chan, you don’t have to wait with me, it’s alright. Don’t you still have to go to English Club?” Baekhyun asks Chanyeol as they walk towards the front gates.

Actually, since Luhan told him about Chanyeol, Baekhyun has been acting awkward around Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. But Luhan keeps reminding him to act ‘normally’ like he doesn’t hear anything from Luhan.

“Nah, it’s fine. I don’t want you to wait by yourself.” Chanyeol shrugs his shoulder.

They stand side by side, Baekhyun looks up to Chanyeol, he realizes this is the first time he is so close in distance with Chanyeol.

“Are you getting taller, Chan?” Baekhyun frowns.

“Ahaha, you’re just too small” He laughs, ruffling Baekhyun’s hair again.

“Hey!” Baekhyun pouts, but then smiles as well.

 

They wait in comfortable silence. The sun is shining brightly.

 

“Hey, Baek?” Chanyeol calls him suddenly. The gates has been empty, students already got picked up or went home by bus a few minutes ago. One or two still waiting not too far away from Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

 

“Hmm?” Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol who stands beside him, he narrows his eyes a little bit because of the sunshine.

 

Chanyeol fidgets, he plays with the straps of his bag. Somehow it makes Baekhyun nervous.

 

“Do you remember what I had told you here, last year, on your last day before you went to America?” Chanyeol nervously asks.

Baekhyun can feel the heat creeping into his pink cheeks. He can feel his heart beats faster than usual.

 

Of course he remembers.

 

 

“I still feel the same” Chanyeol says again.

 

 

Sometimes I just wonder, what do I really feel?

 

---

 

Next morning, Baekhyun immediately hugs Luhan as soon as the pretty boy arrives in the class. Luhan, of course, is surprised by the hug he gets.

 

“I said yes” Baekhyun whispers. He lets go of Luhan, smiling.

 

Luhan looks even more surprised, he doesn’t need to ask any further about Baekhyun’s statement. It only means one thing.

 

Chanyeol finally asked Baekhyun to be his boyfriend and the latter said yes.

 

 

Luhan grabs Baekhyun’s hand and holds it tightly, “Are you going to take it seriously this time?”

Baekhyun lowers his head, staring at his hand in Luhan’s, “I’ll try”

Luhan smiles then pats his bestfriend’s back softly, “I hope he makes you happy.”

 

Baekhyun smiles.

 

Later on that day, Baekhyun realizes almost the whole students in the school know that he’s dating Park Chanyeol. Some even congratulate him or giving Chanyeol pats on the back. Baekhyun can’t help but pays more attention to Kyungsoo, to see the wide-eyed boy’s reaction. But he sees nothing different, either from the way Kyungsoo talks to him or the way Chanyeol and Kyungsoo treat each other.

 

­---

 

Dating Chanyeol is actually not that quite different than not dating him, except for the fact that Chanyeol is openly caring about Baekhyun. He still ruffles Baekhyun’s hair, sometimes even patting his head dearly whenever Baekhyun pouts. Chanyeol still waits with him in front of the school gate, most of the time blocks the sun rays for him.

Baekhyun also realizes that Chanyeol always calls and texts him. Even his mom knows that he’s dating Chanyeol because he’s always on his phone.

In school, the uneasiness he feels about Kyungsoo before, slowly fading. Kyungsoo is always nice, he’s quite most of the time but he’s never ever accusing Baekhyun for dating Chanyeol. Baekhyun expected Kyungsoo to snap at him, actually. But it never happens.

To be honest, Baekhyun doesn’t know clearly the exact reason for Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s break up. He doesn’t have the guts to ask neither Chanyeol nor Kyungsoo. He just heard from Luhan and other students that Chanyeol likes him since a long time, even when he was still in relationship with Kyungsoo.

 

“You shouldn’t worry about that, Baek. Kyungsoo is not mad at you, really.” Luhan reassures him. They’re doing homework together at Baekhyun’s house.

“But I can’t help it! It’s really awkward. Can you imagine? Kyungsoo is my friend yet I’m in a relationship with his ex-boyfriend!” Baekhyun whines about the same matter for the umpteenth times.

“Well, let me tell you something. Even when they were dating, they didn’t even act like lovers!”

“They didn’t?” Baekhyun frowns.

“Yup. They practically know each other since they were babies. So when they were dating, they never really did anything lovey-dovey like lovers or such” Luhan rolls his eyes.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” Baekhyun pouts.

“I didn’t tell you that to make you feel better. I’m just telling you the truth. Gosh, do you even realize how Park Chanyeol looks at you? I swear it’s super sweet that I almost get diabetes.”

Baekhyun blushes. Yes, he knows how his boyfriend always looks at him.

 

“Alright then, stop the blushing session. We have homework to be done”

 

Baekhyun hits Luhan’s arm a little bit harder that night.

 

---

 

It’s almost the third week of being in relationship with Park Chanyeol that Baekhyun realizes people stare at him again.

 

Luhan decides to steal Baekhyun for lunch.

“Sorry Park, I need to talk with your boyfriend, privately.” Luhan grabs Baekhyun away from Chanyeol before even listen to Chanyeol’s permission.

“What Lu?” Baekhyun straightens his uniform sleeve.

“Have you heard the rumor? Did Park Chanyeol tell you anything?” Luhan interrogates his bestfriend.

Baekhyun frowns, “What rumor is it now? Tell me what? Chanyeol said good morning, the he asked about my Japanese paper and then—“

“Okay, you’re oblivious again this time.” Luhan cuts Baekhyun.

Baekhyun pouts, “Then tell me!”

 

 

Luhan takes a deep breath, “Park Chanyeol is moving to America.”

 

 

Sometimes I just wonder, why do I always have to hear it from other people first?

 

---

 

Baekhyun gives his boyfriend a silent treatment. Part of him wants to confront Chanyeol and asks him about the rumors. But other part of him tells him to wait until Chanyeol taking the initiative to talk to him. Baekhyun feels heavy.

Chanyeol walks him to the front gate, he’s been playing with his bag straps. Baekhyun knows Chanyeol tends to do that whenever he’s nervous.

“Baek? I need to tell you something.” Chanyeol finally says.

Baekhyun heart beats faster like he’s been running a mile. He keeps quiet, finding his shoes are more interesting to look than his boyfriend. Chanyeol takes his silence as a cue to continue speaking.

 

 

“I’m moving to America next week.”

 

 

For a second, Baekhyun feels his heart stops. He gulps the slump in his throat.

 

After what it feels like forever in silence, Chanyeol calls his boyfriend, “Baek?”

But Baekhyun lowes his head, eyes still on the ground, “Okay” he mumbles.

“What?” Chanyeol frowns.

 

“I said okay” Baekhyun raises his head, looking straight to the street in front of him.

 

“Are you mad?” Chanyeol’s voice is dripping with worries and guilt.

 

Baekhyun doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what to say. Is he mad? He doesn’t know.

 

 

Sometimes I just wonder what I supposed to feel

 

---

 

Two days later, Baekhyun receives an invitation for Park Chanyeol’s Farewell Party, so do the rest of his classmates and Chanyeol’s friends from other classes.

Kyungsoo and Jongin ask the rest of the students in the class to sign a picture book they made for Chanyeol, with Baekhyun being the honored one to sign it on the center of the first page.

Chanyeol had explained everything to Baekhyun that his dad got transferred to work abroad and his family has to move along with him. Chanyeol can’t stay. Baekhyun can’t say anything else. As much as he wants Chanyeol to stay, he can’t say that out loud. Chanyeol promised him to keep in contact with him. They have facebook, twitter, skype, anything else name it. Even though they will be in long distance relationship, they’ll try to make this relationship works.

“Hey, is your food okay?” Chanyeol approaches Baekhyun who hasn’t finished his dinner. They don’t sit on the same table. Baekhyun gives Chanyeol the privacy to sit with his family.

Chanyeol’s family decided to hold the Farewell Party in one of the famous restaurant. It starts with dinner then the youngsters can do whatever they want.

“Eung?” Baekhyun weakly smiles.

Chanyeol chuckles at his boyfriend’s lost face. His red lips quivering.

“It’s too hot and spicy, isn’t it?” Chanyeol asks, hand gently patting Baekhyun’s hair. Baekhyun nods. He can’t handle hot and spicy food really well but he doesn’t want to be rude as a guest and not eating the served food.

“You don’t have to eat it. Oh god, you almost cry! I’ll order another food for you”

Chanyeol is about to go when Baekhyun grabs his shirt, stopping him.

“No, no, it’s okay. I-I’m full” Baekhyun smiles.

“Are you sure?” Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun with worries all of his face.

“Yeah, I’m good. So, no, thank you” he tells Chanyeol reassuringly.

Chanyeol studies his boyfriend’s face before finally says, “Wait here, I’ll get you orange juice”

Chanyeol ruffles Baekhyun’s hair then goes to get a glass of orange juice.

Baekhyun lets his eyes wonder around the room. Friends are chatting happily, some take pictures here and there, and they even stop Chanyeol to take picture of the boy of the night. Baekhyun throws his eyes to his side to see his bestfriend, Luhan, eating his food calmly while once in a while talking with his boyfriend, Sehun.

Baekhyun looks around again and finds his eyes locked to the scenery across the room. That’s where Park family’s table is. But what makes it interesting is the fact that Kyungsoo is talking happily with Chanyeol’s mom. They look really close to each other.

Somehow, Baekhyun feels a little tug inside him. Since the second he entered this room, Chanyeol’s mom hasn’t even look at him. It’s Chanyeol’s dad who warmly greeted him. Baekhyun has a feeling that Chanyeol’s mom doesn’t like him, not a bit.

Baekhyun is lost in his train of thought that he doesn’t realize Chanyeol is already beside him.

“Here you go, Baek” Chanyeol gives him a glass of orange juice.

Baekhyun blink a couple times then takes the glass, “Thank you, Chan”

 

Baekhyun sips his juice happily when Chanyeol’s dad and Chanyeol’s sister come approaching the couple.

“Hey, son” Chanyeol’s dad greet them. Baekhyun immediately bows in respect, and then he waves at Chanyeol’s sister.

“I don’t think I’ve taken any picture of Baekhyun yet” Mr. Park waves the camera in his hand.

Chanyeol laughs, “Alright, c’mon, I’ll take a picture of you and Baek”

Baekhyun suddenly feels nervous. It’s awkward, he’s going to take picture with his boyfriend’s father!

“How about I’ll take pictures of you guys all?” Luhan suddenly offers. Baekhyun’s eyes widen, he mentally screams to Luhan to take his words back. But absolutely, it doesn’t reach his bestfriend.

“That’d be great” Chanyeol’s dad gives the camera to Luhan.

 

Now Baekhyun finds himself standing between Chanyeol and his dad, with Yura – Chanyeol’s sister- standing beside her dad.

“Smile” Luhan clicks the shutter.

 

“Alright, thank you, Kid. Now I shall give Baekhyun back to Chanyeol” with that Chanyeol’s dad leave.  Baekhyun blushes to the tip of his ear and Chanyeol laughs.

 

The rest of the night spent with the kids singing out loud to their heart content. Jongin and Kyungsoo represent the class to give their memento for Chanyeol. It’s simple, really. A photo book full with pictures of Chanyeol and his friends in class and in the school clubs. Each of his friends also wrote their own personal note for Chanyeol.

What Baekhyun wrote for his boyfriend is really simple compared to the others who basically wrote novel there, but he guesses Chanyeol’s friends about it because of the nickname he used for his boyfriend.

 

“Hey, Giant, I’m gonna miss you, lots. Be good!” – Your Smurf.

 

Chanyeol smiles widely when he reads the note. He can’t stop grinning until Jongin literally smacks him on his head to tell him to stop being creepy.

Then they spend the night with more picture taking.

 

It’s later that night when the clock almost hits midnight that Baekhyun gets a call from his dad, saying that his dad already waiting in front of the restaurant to pick him up.

He taps Chanyeol’s shoulder, “Chan?”

Chanyeol steps away from his friends who keep demanding to take pictures with him.

“Hey, what’s up Baek?” Chanyeol asks.

“Uhm, my dad is here to pick me up” Baekhyun bites his lower lip. He hates to leave early from the party but he has curfew.

“Oh…” Chanyeol’s face immediately falls.

“Yeah, I’m going home. I think I need to say goodbye to your mom and dad” Baekhyun doesn’t want to be rude and just leaves like he has no manner.

“Oh, okay, I’ll go with you.” Chanyeol says.

 

When they arrive at the Park’s table, Baekhyun can see Chanyeol’s mom turns her face away almost immediately. Baekhyun nearly cries.

“Mr. Park, Mrs. Park, it’s me Baekhyun. Thank you for the night, and of course, for the dinner. I hope you’re all doing well in America.” Baekhyun politely bows.

Mr. Park smiles then pats him on the back, “Thank you, Baekhyun. Thank you for coming.”

Baekhyun bows again, “I’m sorry I can’t stay until the party’s over, my dad is already here to pick him up”

“That’s okay, Baekhyun. Chanyeol can walk you to the door” Mr. Park responds.

“Oh, no, it’s okay Mr. Park. I’m pretty sure Chanyeol’s friends are looking out for him already”

Mr. Park chuckles, but Mrs. Park gives no respond.

Baekhyun bows again then turns his back, Chanyeol immediately grabs him closer on his nape. Baekhyun’s eyes widen in surprise.

“I love you” Chanyeol whispers to his ear. Baekhyun can feel tingles in his spines. He then realizes that Mr. Park and his wife are watching so he separates himself from Chanyeol quickly.

He just stares at Chanyeol for a second, doesn’t know what to say. Chanyeol’s mom scoffs. It snaps him back to reality.

Chanyeol stares at him lovingly then ruffles his hair while saying, “Sleep well tonight”

 

Sometimes I just wonder, did I do anything wrong to make your mom hates me?

 

---

 

Chanyeol’s coming to school for the last time. He says goodbye to all the teachers, thanking them for teaching him for almost 3 years of high school. He also comes to his classroom, saying his last greeting because he doesn’t know when he will meet them away.

Baekhyun’s staring at his boyfriend who is now giving a small speech to the class. He doesn’t know what he supposed to feel.

“And lastly, Baek?”

Chanyeol’s voice snaps him out of his reveries. Baekhyun blinks, “Uhm, yes?”

Now all eyes on them, even Mr. Lee who was teaching them before Chanyeol entered the class pays attention to what Chanyeol’s going to say.

 

“I just want to tell you thank you, for everything” Chanyeol gently smiles.

 

Baekhyun stiffly nods.

 

Chanyeol then excuses himself then slips out of the classroom.

Students are still staring at Baekhyun, probably expecting him to do something. Part of Baekhyun’s mind screams to him to go, excuse himself out of the classroom, run to Chanyeol, tell him that he’s going to miss him, tell him that he also wants to thank him for always taking care of him, tell him that he’s sad that Chanyeol leaves him, tell him that he’s scared of long distance relationship, he’s scared of the fact he doesn’t know when he will see Chanyeol again, tell him that he’s insecure.

But for the next three minutes, nothing happens. Baekhyun finds himself still on his chair, do nothing. His heart feels so heavy, he feels like crying but no tears come out.

 

Sometimes I just wonder, what should I feel? What should I tell you?

 

 

 

---

 

Chanyeol calls Baekhyun after school.

“Hey Baek”

“Hey Chan, you’re already in the airport?” Baekhyun asks.

“Yup, I still have three hours before check in time, so I think I should use the time wisely.”

“And calling me means you’re using your time wisely?” Baekhyun chuckles.

“Of course, I’m talking to my boyfriend, it’s the time that I always treasure. Therefore, it means I’m making a wise decision”

Baekhyun laughs.

They talk for some more, about everything.

 

“Are you talking to Chanyeol, Baek?” Baekhyun’s mom suddenly appear, standing on is door.

“Yes, mom. He’s waiting for check in. Do you want to talk to him?” Baekhyun asks his mom.

His mom comes closer to sit on his son’s bed, “Oh sure” she smiles.

 

“Hey Chan, mom wants to talk with you.”

“Okay, sure” Chanyeol replies.

 

Baekhyun looks at his mom who is now talking happily with his boyfriend. His mom is laughing because of something Chanyeol said and he can also hears Chanyeol’s voice chirps happily through the phone.

 

Sometimes I just wonder, someday, would your mom talk to me the way my mom talks to you?

 

 

---

 

First month in Long Distance Relationship 

 

Park Chanyeol : Baek! I missed you! How are you?

Byun Baekhyun : hey chan, I’m good, thanks. How have you been? Do you like usa so far?

Park Chanyeol : I’m great, and yup I do, still in the process of adaptation thou, I didn’t know Californians have accent! O.O

Byun Baekhyun : lol, it’s normal chan, it’s because our English accent is kinda different from Americans. You’ll get use to it ;)

Park Chanyeol : yeah I hope so o.O oh, I’m going to school tomorrow!!!

Byun Baekhyun : excited?

Park Chanyeol  : yup!!!

Byun Baekhyun : don’t get lost in the hallway :p

Park Chanyeol : nah, I’m tall, I won’t get lost between the massive students :p

Byun Baekhyun : -_-

Park Chanyeol : aren’t you supposed to be in school now?

                                You’re ditching school to talk to me?!

                                Aren’t you, byun baekhyun ?!!!

                                I’m flattered~

Byun Baekhyun : well, I’m sorry for getting your hopes high, but I’m not ditching school. I’m on my way.

Park Chanyeol : mood breaker -_-

Byun Baekhyun : :( 

Park Chanyeol : noooo I’m sorryyyy okay you’re not a mood breaker!!! You’re always my mood booster!

Byun Baekhyun :  :)

Park Chanyeol : tell our friends I said hi, okay?

Byun Baekhyun : sure

                                Sleep well chan

                                Gotta go to class now

Park Chanyeol : have a nice day baek  ♥

Byun Baekhyun : thank you  ♥ sweet dreams

 

---

 

“Have you talked to Chanyeol lately?” Jongin asks Baekhyun. They’re having lunch together along with Kyungsoo. Luhan spends his lunch break with Sehun. Sometimes Baekhyun envies the couple, Sehun will always comes to their class to pick Luhan up. Sehun’s mom even cooks lunch for Luhan. Baekhyun admits those two need their private time together because most of the time Luhan sacrifices his time to be with Baekhyun.

“Yeah, we talked on facebook this morning. Ah, he said hi by the way” Baekhyun beams.

Jongin grins. Kyungsoo is still eating his food quietly.

Baekhyun finds that Kyungsoo is a quiet person. Even in class he doesn’t really talk much. He loves drawing so he keeps sketching and drawing even when the class is going on. But the amazing thing about Kyungsoo is, he’s so damn smart. Baekhyun realizes that Kyungsoo is always lost in his own world when he draws and not paying attention to the class for most of the time but he still can answer the questions that teacher asks to him. Oh wait, he’s in Astronomy Club, of course he’s smart. Baekhyun is pretty sure that all of Astronomy Club’s members were trained for National Astronomy Olympiads.

“Ah, who’s your partner for your drawing project? We have to draw people, right?” Jongin speaks again.

“I’m with Luhan” Baekhyun smiles. Of course he’s with Luhan, he always partners up with his bestfriend.

“You guys partner up?” Baekhyun asks Jongin and Kyungsoo.

“Yup” Both Jongin and Kyungsoo answer in unison.

Baekhyun nods in acknowledgement.

 

---

 

“Woaah, your sketch looks real! You’re really good, Baek!” Suho, Baekhyun’s classmates praises him.

Baekhyun blushes then mumbles a shy thank you. He’s not really good at drawing, but he always does his best in his anything.

“Hey look, Kyungsoo is almost done drawing Jongin, it’s amazing!” another student says.

Baekhyun snaps his head to look at Kyungsoo’s sketch book. Damn, it looks like the real person. Baekhyun’s picture is nothing compared to Kyungsoo’s. Every line, every curves of Jongin’s face looks so alive.

“Wow, that’s great. Both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are really good at drawing people! It makes me think that Chanyeol’s type is people who is good at drawing, don’t you think so—“ Suho immediately claps his hand to his mouth to prevent it to keep talking because Luhan glares at the said boy. Luhan is mentally throwing daggers towards Suho.

That’s not something appropriate to say around Baekhyun, especially because Luhan knows that the boy with the voice of an angle is quite insecure of what people think about his relationship with Chanyeol.

Baekhyun stares at his drawing then at Kyungsoo’s. Back and forth. Somehow, he feels inferior.

 

Sometimes I just wonder, why do you choose me over him?

 

---

 

After Chanyeol moved to America, Baekhyun tries to get used to wait for his dad all by himself. But apparently today is an exception.

“Baekhyun, wait.” Kyungsoo stops him before he gets out from the class. Baekhyun tilts his head, watching Kyungsoo puts his belongings into his bag.

“You’re going to the front gates, right?” Kyungsoo asks, standing beside Baekhyun.

The said boy nods his head eagerly.

“Alright. Bye Jongin, see you later?” Kyungsoo turns his head to see Jongin.

“Okay, see ya” Jongin replies, waves his hands to both Kyungsoo  and Baekhyun.

 

“I’ll go with you to the front gates” Kyungsoo finally says.

“Oh, you’re going to get picked up too?” Baekhyun asks as he and Kyungsoo walk together to the front gate.

Kyungsoo nods, “Yeah, Jongin has dance practice and I have no club activities. So I can’t go home with him, dance practice takes hours to finish.”

“Oh, so usually Jongin takes you home?”

Kyungsoo nods again, “He drives to school”

 

Then they fall into silence. They wait to get picked up quietly. After a few minutes, Kyungsoo breaks the silence, “Chanyeol was right.”

Baekhyun turns his head to see Kyungsoo beside him, “Hmm? What was it?”

“Chanyeol was right, you smell really good” Kyungsoo says louder this time.

 

Baekhyun is taken aback a little bit, he awkwardly laughs, “Ahaha, you know that sounds kinda y, right?” He tries to break the awkward atmosphere between them.

Kyungsoo laughs, that’s when Baekhyun realizes that Kyungsoo has a nice laugh, and he has heart-shaped lips whenever he smiles.

Baekhyun can’t help but admit that Kyungsoo looks so adorable.

After that, Baekhyun may or may not sniff himself, secretly.

 

Sometimes I just wonder, what do you see in me?

 

---

 

 

Park Chanyeol @baekschan92                                   5m

I missed you T_T @byunbaek92

 

Byun Baekhyun @byunbaek92                                  5m

@baekschan92 omg your username o.O I missed you too

 

Park Chanyeol @baekschan92                                   4m

@byunbaek92 do you like it?  ♥ skype?

 

Byun Baekhyun @byunbaek92                                  2m

@baekschan92 hold on, I’m on my phone, I’ll go get my laptop

 

 

Chanyeol grins ear to ear the second he sees Baekhyun’s face on the screen.

 

“Hey!” Baekhyun chirps happily

“Oh my god, I missed you so much, smile for me please?” Chanyeol immediately asks.

Baekhyun smiles.

“Alrighty, screen captured!”

“You didn’t---“

“Yup I just did” Chanyeol just captured his boyfriend’s smiling face.

 

They talk for some more that Baekhyun doesn’t realize it’s almost midnight (still morning in Chanyeol’s place)

He hears knocks on his door, “Baekhyun, it’s late, you should sleep” his mom reminds him.

“But tomorrow is Sunday, I don’t have school” Baekhyun pouts, pausing his Skype session with his boyfriend.

His mom shrugs, “Chanyeol?” she asks.

Baekhyun smiles blindingly.

Baekhyun’s mom smiles, “Alright, I leave you two then. Just, don’t be too loud, okay?”

Baekhyun nods eagerly, “Okay, I love you mom, good night.”

“Good night sweety.” His mom closes his bedroom door.

 

“Was it your mom?” Chanyeol asks. Baekhyun nods.

“Okay, it’s time for you to sleep, I guess.” Chanyeol finally decides.

“No, I’m not sleepy” Baekhyun pouts. As much as Chanyeol thinks Baekhyun is cute even when he’s pouting, he still thinks his boyfriend need to rest.

“We can talk again tomorrow, you look tired, Baek”

Baekhyun whines and oh how Chanyeol wishes he was there to ruffle Baekhyun’s hair.

 

“I’ll call you again tomorrow. Now Baek, sleep, please?”

Baekhyun finally gives in. He doesn’t end the video chat though, he lets Chanyeol watches him as he slips under his blanket.

Before he sleeps, he can hear Chanyeol tells him ‘goodnight’

 

---

 

Second month in Long Distance Relationship 

 

Baekhyun taps his fingers on his table languidly, he’s waiting for Luhan to come back to the class. Luhan went to the cafeteria earlier because he had a sudden craving for strawberry milk, that’s why we went to get one.

“Hey Baek, why are you sitting alone here? Where’s Luhan?” Suho enters the class.

“Cafeteria. He suddenly wants to drink strawberry milk. I don’t feel like going outside the class so I just wait for him here” Baekhyun explains.

“I’ll wait for you here then” Suho drags a chair close to Baekhyun.

Baekhyun keeps tapping his fingers on the table. Suho suddenly speaks up, “Do you play any musical instrument, Baek?”

Well, that was random but Baekhyun answers anyway, “Yup, I play piano for almost 7 years. Why?”

“It just… Do you even know that your hands are really pretty?” Suho stares at Baekhyun’s hands.

Baekhun blushes, he flips his hands back and forth, “Thank you”

Luhan chooses that moment to walk into the class, sipping his strawberry milk while his left hand holds on French Vanilla. Baekhyun’s eyes sparkle immediately, “Is that for me?” He points at the French Vanilla.

Luhan rolls his eyes, of course, in his lifetime, he never sees anybody else drinks French Vanilla as much as Baekhyun does.

“Of course Your Majesty” Luhan puts the French Vanilla on his bestfriend’s table. Baekhyun immediately grabs the drink and puts it on his cheek, savoring the cold temperature.

“Thank you, you know me so well” Baekhyun beams.

Kyungsoo and Jongin trail behind Luhan. Soon the four figures who just entered the class gather around Baekhyun’s table.

“So, what were you guys talking about?” Luhan asks, directing to both Baekhyun and Suho.

Suho grabs Baekhyun’s hands and shows it to everybody, “Look! Baekhyun’s hands are so pretty! Hands of musician!” Suho sounds so excited.

Jongin grins, “Ahaha, we know”

“You do?” Suho looks surprised. Baekhyun stares at Jongin in wonder.

“Yeah, Chanyeol used to tell us that all the time. He admires Baekhyun’s hands a lot” Jongin simply says.

Suho laughs, “I guess Chanyeol loves everything about Baekhyun then!”

Baekhyun awkwardly laughs, he averts his eyes to see Kyungsoo’s reaction. But the later just plays with his tab and doesn’t really pay attention to the talk.

“Ah, Kyungoo’s here also plays musical instrument, don’t you, Kyung?” Suho randomly states.

Kyungsoo looks up, he blinks confusedly, “I’m sorry, what is this about?” Even his lost face looks adorable.

“You play violin, right? Baekhyun just told me awhile ago that he’s been playing piano for 7 years!” Suho is excited.

“You play piano? That’s cool! Maybe you guys can do a duet someday, Kyung has been playing violin for almost 10 years now, right Kyung?” Jongin nudges Kyungsoo, the latter just awkwardly nods.

“Wow, both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are so similar! Both are good at drawing, both play musical instrument. I think Chanyeol’s type of—“ Suho quickly zips his lips, Luhan glares intensely at him now.

Baekhyun lowers his head then clears his throat, “Uhm excuse me, I’m going to the restroom.” He leaves the classroom.

Luhan scoffs at Suho, mouthing ‘stupid’ to the latter then quickly chases Baekhyun.

 

 

Luhan finds Baekhyun talking with Yixing, he smiles, but that smile looks strained. Luhan approaches them then grabs Baekhyun’s hand. Baekhyun quickly snaps his head, his face falls as soon as he sees his bestfriend. His lips quivering and Luhan knows Baekhyun tries his best not to cry.

“I’m sorry, Xing, I need to steal Baek” Luhan pulls Baekhyun away from Yixing.

 

“Okay, now, talk.” Luhan says as they sit on the school garden.

Baekhyun sighs, “That must be really childish me of, right? I should’ve not left, right?”

Luhan stares at his bestfriend who is now sit beside him. Even though it’s been more than two months, Baekhyun is still insecure.

“Honestly, I don’t know what to say. I still think Suho should’ve not said that, though” Luhan says.

“I always have this feeling that people keep comparing me Kyungsoo. It makes me feel inferior.” Baekhyun whispers, he almost breaks down.

“Kyungsoo is smart. Me? I’m average. He’s a whole package of cute and adorable. You heard earlier, he plays violin for 10 years, he must be like really pro! His drawing also perfect.” Baekhyun rants.

“But remember? Chanyeol chose you.” Luhan tries to reassure Baekhyun.

“Honestly Lu, I don’t even know what he sees in me. His mom clearly hates me.”

“It’s not about his mom, Baek. The ones in relationship are you and Park Chanyeol, his mom has nothing to do with this.”

“But parents’ opinion is important, Lu!”

“Baek, listen, he broke up with Kyungsoo to be with you” Luhan grabs Baekhyun’s shoulders to make the latter look at him.

Baekhyuns stares at his shoes. He folds his knees up.

“Then it must be easy for him to break up with me when he finds another person he loves” Baekhyun whispers.

“Baek…”

“Lu, remember what I told you what I scared the most about relationships?” Baekhyun looks at Luhan.

 

Luhan sighs, “Nothing lasts forever”

 

---