[ Beautous ]

Jongdae wasn’t that popular at school, he really wasn’t; despite the fact that he was one of the members of Exo, he wasn’t praised and worshipped like Kris was or baby faced Luhan.

 

And frankly he didn’t care; he didn’t mind it at all. Who gives a about popularity anyway? If anything, he was grateful that there weren’t girls that would do anything just to be with him.

 

 Jongdae didn’t mind, he was able to walk down the hallways freely during his lunch period without getting run over by his own fan-girls. He had a handful of girls who crushed on him, fortunately they kept their distance. Unlike the other members of Exo, Jongdae was extremely quiet and reserved. He didn’t talk much during class and most of the time; he only opened his mouth to sing. It was a shame really, no one really knew of his talent because he spent his lunch period alone in the music room singing songs.

 

Like any other high school senior, Jongdae had a crush. A genuine crush, he wasn’t like Kris who would have feelings for girls who sweet talked him. He wasn’t like Luhan who dated just about any girl who said she’d treat him right. The amount of times Luhan has had his heart broken was unbelievable, Jongdae secretly hoped that nothing like that would ever happen to him. He secretly hoped that he would never become as gullible as Luhan, surprisingly girls found him attractive because he was so innocent which was ridiculous to Jongdae.

 

He’s liked her for a while now, three years to be exact. Her name’s Junhee and he still remembered the first time he saw her on the first day of school. It was her bright confused eyes that caught his attention.

 

He desperately wanted to go up to her and ask her for help, Jongdae still doesn’t know what held him back. 

 

Junhee too was always independent and reserved like he was. She was the perfect girl; the girl hiding behind her books…the girl hiding behind herself.

 

She rarely talked to anyone and had a few close friends. Throughout the years, he’s learned a lot about her. They’ve never interacted, it was just her actions and the way her eyes would stare aimlessly into space that told Jongdae that this girl was different. There was something wrong with her and he wanted to help her, he wanted to protect her and maybe even fall in love with her.

 

Jongdae knew many things about Junhee. The first time he really looked at her was when she sat in the row behind him in algebra class. He still remembers that first time he turned around to pass back homework. A glimpse of her long lashes and pretty eyes were all he needed to get his heart racing.

 

During sophomore year, he learned that Junhee was extremely insecure. She disliked just about everything that she was. Jongdae never understood why because to him, she was simply beautiful; inside and out.

 

He knows, he knows about the time she spent hours escorting an elderly lady home even though she could’ve just ignored her. There were plenty of people that had nothing to do that were wandering around, even if she had two tests the next day and hours of homework, Junhee still went out of her way to help the lost woman. She did everything she can to bring her home.

Jongdae was at the bus stop when she was a block away from him. He knew instantly what was going on when he saw her walk up to the confused lady.

Jongdae lived in the building next to Junhee’s, he stayed up all night and slept when the lights in her room went off.

Jongdae never went to sleep that night; he stayed up and was astonished when he learned that she stayed up all night studying and diligently finishing all of her work.

 

The accident wasn’t her fault. Jongdae’s heard all the rumors going around in school; Junhee called her father when he was driving and he crashed. She stayed afterschool that day and called to tell her father that she wouldn’t be home for dinner, which was hours before he died

 

He knows the real story because he was there, Jongdae still remembers the drunk driver crashing into her father’s sliver sedan. He stood by the bus stop and waited for her to come out of school. Jongdae ran back to the school building after he witnessed the accident. He knew she would get the news first.

 

Jongdae hated the way she cried when she walked out of the building, she must’ve felt so guilty when she did nothing wrong. He remembered standing by the corner and waiting for the light to change. He wanted to walk up to her and maybe even hug her. “The accident wasn’t your fault.”

 

 

Jongdae knows she spends endless hours perfecting all of her work although no one in her family really pays attention; she’s so quiet all the time. Does her family even know she exists? They’ve spent so much time mourning over her father’s death that Junhee just disappeared from their world for a little bit.

He wanted her to know that he cared. Jongdae wanted her to know that he noticed all the little things she did, he wanted her to know that he thought she was a great person.

 

He wished they talked, or even sat next to each other in a class. That was all Jongdae needed, he wanted to talk to Junhee and get to know her although he knew her better than anybody else.

He knew she was insecure, Jongdae wish she knew that she didn’t need to be because he found all her imperfections flawless.

 

He sat in the audience on the day of their graduation. Jongdae didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t comprehend the situation he was in. He had four years to catch the girl of his dreams and here he was, sitting about to graduate.

Jongdae knew that he probably wasn’t going to see her after this. He mentally kicked himself for being so weak, so shy, and so stupid all these years. He held himself because he was scared of what the other girls would do to her if he confessed.

Jongdae held the pamphlet in his hands; he knew she got into Columbia University with a full scholarship, he remembered filling out an application once he saw Junhee do so. The rest of the Exo boys were still immature, they didn’t give two s about college. They wondered why he worked so hard.

Jongdae sighed and looked down at his feet, even his cap seemed crooked at this point. He never got the acceptance letter and Columbia was his only ticket to Junhee.

 

He stood when he got called for his diploma, Jongdae turned around to look for Junhee only to see her spaced out as usual.

“Congratulations class of 2014.” He began. Jongdae cleared his throat. “I am happy for each and every one of you; you have the courage to accept the universities you’ve gotten into. You are fearless and are able to take on whatever is ahead of you. I know all of you will do fine, I know all of you will have a bright future.”

He gulped when he notice Junhee staring right into his eyes.

“T-There’s a girl…” He began. The audience erupted into “ooh” and “aww”. Jongdae smiled at his feet before looking back into the crowd. “I’ve been in love with this girl since …since forever. I don’t need to go far because she’s here with me; I hope that I too get into Columbia University so that I can chase my dreams.” He bowed slightly. “Congrats class of 2014.”

 

Jongdae walked off with his diploma and went back to his seat. Jongin turned around. “Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Someone I should’ve talked to since day one.” He mumbled. “She’s beautiful, she really is, Jongin.”

Jongin wrinkled his nose and turned away. A Jongdae who was in love was a mushy Jongdae.

 

 

He waited until it was time to throw their caps up in the air. Jongdae took his off and flung it into the air before turning around to find Junhee.

He found her almost immediately amongst the crowd, her teary eyes and bright smile was heartwarming. Jongdae looked at the girl next to her; she was her best friend wasn’t she? She would’ve known where Junhee would be headed to next.

 

Jongdae gravitated towards Junhee’s best friend; they were once lab partners so he hoped their sudden encounter wouldn’t be too awkward.

“E-Eunmi.” He stuttered. Jongdae bowed to her parents and pulled her aside. “Junhee, she’s your best friend right?”

Eunmi eyed the man and nodded. “Y-Yes, and why?”

“Is it really true? Is she departing tomorrow?” Jongdae asked. He desperately needed to know if today was his last chance to see her.

“Classes start in less than a month for her, she’s leaving early to get used to the atmosphere. And why do you want to know?” Eunmi asked.

Jongdae looked down at her. “Can you tell me which airport she’ll be at? Please? There’s something I’ve always wanted to tell her…”

 

 

Incheon Airport

4:30 pm

Terminal 6

 

Jongdae repeats the address and time over and over as he walks down the street. Its 4:10 in the afternoon and all he wants to do is say goodbye, and maybe even sorry for not being with here all these years when she needed someone the most.

He’s finally built up the courage after four damn years and it’s sad to say he’ll only get a few minutes with the girl of his dreams. They say you’ll never forget your first love, Jongdae will definitely never forget Junhee.

 

He freezes at the sight of Junhee and her family. She has a duffel bag by her feet, her luggage must be in another plane by now.

Jongdae sighs and stares at the time. He’s got fifteen minutes before she boards the plane.

“Go.”

He turns around to see Eunmi. “Hm?”

“I think I caught on, this explains a lot; the reason why you quietly observed her from a distance these four years right? You like her.” Eunmi says. “Don’t you regret it a lot? Staying away from an insecure girl who needed you the most just because you were scared of what others would do to her? To you?”

Jongdae stares stiffly because all her words were true.

“You love her don’t you? You never interacted with her but you know what she’s like, inside and out. You like her personality and adore the way her eyes crinkle when she laughs. I know Jongdae, it took be a long while but I finally caught on.” Eunmi says.

She gives him a little nudge. “Go…before it’s too late. Say what you have to say and hope that someday in the future, you two will meet once again.”

Jongdae turns around and walks towards Junhee although he knows they probably won’t ever meet again in the future. But if he didn’t say anything now he knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

“Junhee.” He says dryly.

Her mother turns around to see him. Jongdae bows. “I’m Kim Jongdae.” He introduces himself. “Son of Jeguk Incorporations. Can I have Junhee for the last ten minutes?”

She nods and gives her a little smile. “Call us when you land, Junhee.”

 

She nods and turns her attention to the male with the beautiful facial structure who’s standing before her.

Junhee smiles. “Jongdae?”

“You know my name.” He says.

She nods. “The whole school does, but why are you here?” Junhee feels her heart beat quicken. He’s Jongdae, the guy who once bumped into her in the hallways and apologized. He was the only Exo member who cared about her, the quiet one, the one who didn’t care about popularity, the one who she eyed since freshmen year.

“There’s something I want to say.” He starts.

“And that is?”

Jongdae looks up at her. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I know what you’ve been through since freshmen year and I couldn’t bring myself to comfort you or do anything with you because I was scared of what the others may do to you. I’ve liked you since the first day of school and never said anything because I was scared of what others would’ve thought. I stayed quiet until now because if I don’t do anything, I may never see you again and that’ll kill me.”

Silence

“I know your favorite subject is math, actually, I think I know just about everything there is to you. I know you hate all your flaws and I know you wish you were taller and a bit prettier. I just wished that you knew that I love every part of you. I love all of you, and that there’s nothing to be afraid of because your imperfections are what make you perfect. Everyone is flawed, and that’s what makes them unique. You’ve been insecure for so long for no reason.” Jongdae says.

“Jongdae…”

“I don’t know if you noticed me, or liked me…probably not. But I like you Junhee, and I hate myself for being a coward all these years. Your favorite subject is math, you got into Columbia University so you can study and major in Geometry. I wrote in your yearbook the other day when you weren’t looking, I don’t know if you read it yet but…it’s on the last page and it’s written in green.” He says.

She flips open her yearbook and turns to the last page. Junhee finds the messy hand writing of Jongdae and reads his message that’s written in green.

Math tells us three of the saddest love stories:

...Of parallel lines, who are never meant to meet.

...Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever

...And of asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer, but could never be together.

 

Junhee pauses and looks up. “What is this…supposed to mean?”

“We’re like parallel lines, because at this point I know we’re probably not meant to be. We’re like tangent lines, because although I worked   hard to get to where I am now; with you…Chances are, after you go on that plane we’ll be parted forever. We are also like asymptotes, we’re together now but we might not be able to be together...ever.” Jongdae says.

 

FLIGHT #5648

NEW YORK

4:30

PASSENGERS PLEASE BOARD YOUR PLANE.

 

Jongdae turns to her. “Best of luck Junhee, if you believe you will be able to do anything. So soar and be successful, with just one thing in mind. Your flaws are what make you…you. Strive to the top with as much confidence as possible. As much as I want to tell you to stay, I’m not going to stop you from doing what you love. Be happy in New York…I love you…all of you. I love the fearless person I become when I’m with you, and I thank you for that.”

Junhee stares at him and turns to look at the entrance. “J-Jongdae.”

“Don’t…second guess yourself.” He says sternly. Jongdae holds her jaw and gives her a kiss before pulling away. “Go…” He whispers.

Junhee nods and picks her bag up. The amount of emotions that are ripping through her body right now don’t allow her to think properly.

She turns around one last time. “Hey…do you think…do you think we’ll ever be together?”

Jongdae looks up. “That’s not up to us.” He says. “Let fate decide.”

 

He watches her board the plane before turning around to leave.

 

He loved her.

He really did.

Every part of her.

He loved the person he became when he was with her.

She was beauteous, inside and out.

 

Jongdae stood in the middle of the airport and sighed.

“If fate allows it, then maybe…just maybe, our lives will cross again.” 

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