I lay there in Jongin's arms with my head in his chest listening to his heartbeat. He was humming a song while looking up at the ceiling. SHINee members have been really nice to us even though Jinki, Jonghyun and Kibum don't know what's going on. After I told Taemin and Minho what happened, they looked really mad but Jongin was worse. His eyes darkened and he looked like he really wanted to murder Luhan but I managed to calm him down. Chanyeol hyung came over as well asking if I'm okay and that the other members are really worried. He told me that Luhan was looking for me but I told him to tell Luhan to go away. Chanyeol hyung was really worried but he had to go home. Suho hyung let Jongin and I stay here because he said he understands that I need time away from Luhan and Xiumin. He said to make Luhan suffer more than I am but I can't because I'm just tired. Tired of being lied to. Tired of love. Tired of everything and tired of life. 

"Hey, what are you thinking about?" Jongin whispered. I looked up and saw that he's already looking at me. 

"Hyung, I want to die." I said quietly and his eyes widened. He tightened his hold on me and rolled us over so he was hovering over me. I looked at his now tear filled eyes not knowing what to do because I'm just numb. 

"Don't be selfish Sehun." he said. 

"I want to be selfish for once hyung. I've been too kind and trusting and look at what's been happening to me. My heart's been trampled on all over again and I can't take the pain anymore. It hurts too much hyung that I want it all to end. I just want to get a knife and slit my wrist. Even if I bleed to death, no one would care. I hate the way the members look at me with pity and I've barely talked to my parents. No one would care if I die. I'm not afraid of death hyung." I told him, tears streaming down my face. Jongin was crying as well so I lifted my hand and wiped the tears away from his face. 

"I care Sehun. I care about what will happen to you. If you die, then I would as well. You're the only one holding me up. You're the reason why I haven't beat Luhan up plus there's a lot of people who care about you. Our fans, Taemin, Minho, Chanyeol, Suho, your parents and more. Luhan is just one person out of many. Plus there's plenty of fish in the sea. So please don't. Don't try to end your life Sehun." he mumbled and leant forward and kissed my forehead. 

"Why do you care hyung?"

"I care because you're special to me and I want to make Luhan suffer so much." 

"Then let's make him suffer hyung." I said and he looked at me with a questioning look. The tears have stopped and we're now lying down next to each other. "Let's just wait till tomorrow." I told him and rest my head in his chest again and closed my eyes not waiting for his answer. Tomorrow will be an interesting day. 

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Suho hyung picked us up from SHINee's dorm and brought us our clothes. I showered right after Jongin and got changed into my black jeans, white shirt and black leather jacket and white Nike high tops. I made my way to the living room where everyone was waiting, SHINee in their pyjamas and Jongin dressed in a white shirt with a red checkered top, denim jeans and leather jacket with a cap in his head. He looked really good. He was talking to Taemin, probably telling him my plan and I gave everyone a small smile. Jongin stood up and we followed Suho hyung out the door after thanking SHINee for letting us stay over. We got into Suho hyung's car and we drove off to SM building. Jongin made me realise that there are some people who care about me and I don't need Luhan. He said that I shouldn't let Luhan get to me. I can't thank him enough for everything. When we got to SM, we hurried inside and when we got in, I grabbed Jongin's hand and intertwined our fingers together while walking behind Joonmyeon. He turned around and was about to say something until he saw our intertwined hands. His eyes widened and he just froze. 

"Hello? Hyung? Are you okay?" I asked him while waving my hand in front of his face. He snapped out of his thoughts and gave us a smile. 

"I'm so happy for you two. Now let's go, everyone's waiting. I'm sure they're all excited to record a new song." he told us while skipping off to the recording studio. I heard Jongin chuckle and I just gave him a small smile. Joonmyeon hyung opened the door to the recording studio and sat on one of the chairs. I looked around and realised that there's only one chair left so I let Jongin hyung drag me to the remaining chair next to Chanyeol hyung. Jongin sat down and I sat on his lap. He put his arms around my waist and I put my hands over his. I could feel everyone's eyes on us but I just ignored them. 

"What are you all looking at? You're making Sehunnie uncomfortable. Right babe?" he said and I just nodded. Kris started choking in his drink, Tao pat his back and the other members looked at us with their eyes wide. I smirked when a flash of pain crossed Luhan's eyes and I looked back at Jongin who winked at me when he saw Luhan's expression. 

"Wait.. Babe?!" Kris asked and I just smirked. Luhan stood up and left the room without a word but I saw his eyes watering. I just rolled my eyes and said nothing. Jongin kissed my shoulder and I could feel him smirking. 

If you think this hurts, then it's just the beginning Luhan.