Why don’t they ever leave me alone?

Soo Min could hear loud, obnoxious laughter coming from the hallway.

“Hyung! Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“….Because…HE WASN’T CHICKEN! HAHAHA!”

“Oh my god… someone just rip out my ears!”

“Hyung!”

“Not another one…”

“Hyung!”

“Dongwoo! STOP HIM!”

“I can’t! Then I would have to get closer and my ears can’t risk that!”

“Hyung!”

“Urgh… what Sungjong?”

“What do you call a train loaded with toffee?”

“A sugary train that I hope hits you and destroys your ability to ever speak again?”

“Nope! A chew chew train! HAHAHA!”

“OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”

“Sunggyu! Get a hold of yourself! Come on… he’s just the maknae. Just let it go. Okay? Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Are you feeling better—what are you doing? Don’t—don’t—put that down—PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW!”

“AHHHHHH!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!”

“SUNGGYU! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”

“AHH! SUNGGYU’S A CRAZY PSYCHOPATH, who wouldn’t know funny even if it appeared right in front his tiny eyes, pfft—”

“What did you just say?! YOU STINKY LITTLE BRAT! GET BACK HERE!”

“AHHH!”

Soo Min sighed and covered her face with her hands..

“Miss—uh—Miss Kim, is it? Can you please focus on the lesson?”

She lifted her face from her hands and nodded. It felt strange to be called out like that, to be reprimanded for diverting her attention elsewhere, something she did every single day for the past 13 years without change. It felt odd to nod back, to acknowledge that she had done something wrong. These were all actions of those that she had observed. A slight change in her appearance and these were now her actions too.

But there was a slight problem that made it hard for her to respect the teacher’s request.

“AHH! HYUNG! HYUNG! HYUNG! AHH! What’s a definition of a will?”

“Shut up! I’m going to kill you!”

“OOF! Come on—AHH! It’s a dead giveaway. Get it? HAHAHA.”

“WHY WON’T YOU JUST SHUT UP?!”

She slammed her hands down onto the table.

 “Kim Soo Min! I understand it’s your first day here but that does not excuse your rude behavior. Please wait out in the hallway and reflect upon your actions. I’ll let you know when you can join us again.”

Soo Min stood up and dragged her feet towards the door.

Stupid teacher. I’ve been here forever, you blind idiot. Stupid Infinite. It’s all their fault. The only reason I’m being humiliated like that is because they forced me to wear this stupid crap. Might as well just take it all off right now… gross…

She sat down on the hall floor and raised up both arms above her head. With an evil glare—a look that she was beginning to grow comfortable with thanks to a certain group of people—she turned her head towards the source of her problem, still running around at the end of the hall.

Infinite immediately froze. They felt as though they were suddenly encased in a solid cube of ice. The pain from the coldness stung them. Goosebumps existed in places that didn’t even know could get goosebumps. As they turned their bodies around, the temperature dropped even more.

Soo Min.

Their minds went blank. Actually, their minds went into a frenzy, a madness so chaotic you could practically see an explosion of lines simultaneously connecting from one thought to another in an attempt to form a coherent sentence. It was easy to see that she was beyond furious. This anger was nothing like the time when Hoya used one of the knives from her medieval collection to fix his shoes—she went ballistic and cradled it—or when Sungyeol almost flushed Freddy down the toilet—he wanted to see if it was possible to dispose of a evidence, more specifically a skeleton, via a toilet.  No, this was a different type of anger, unmatched by any previous situations.

Against their will, their feet started moving towards her. They tried to change directions but they only succeeded in moving closer and closer to the child of the devil. Each step felt like a second and a lifetime; the next step seemed to come too early but the last step felt so far away, unreachable and unrecoverable. They were only a few feet away from their demise when the door opened.

“Soo Min-sshi, you may come back in.”

Her gaze never left them as she nodded and slowly reentered the classroom. When the door closed behind her, they let out their breaths, relieved at being saved.

“How about we just meet up with her during the break?”

“Yeah, let’s give her some time to be in class without our intrusion.”

“You mean, time for us to regain our courage?”

“More or less.”

----------

Infinite could hear the students shuffling to pack their bags to leave as soon as the teacher was done wrapping the lecture. They had waited silently outside the door for the past half hour, not one of them uttering even a single syllable.

The door opened and students around their age came walking out. Infinite stood against the opposite wall and observed the people that seemed to scurry around them, constrained by time. People that could have been their classmates or friends, except they had skin, blood, life. They had worries: grades, entrance exams, love, life. They owned the one thing Infinite missed the most: life. The benefit of even just breathing was something they had not cherished; now, with the reality of death, they knew life was not a right but a precious privilege. Then, did they have a right to tamper with this privilege that no longer belonged to them, but someone else?

The girl in question appeared before them.

 “Soo—“

Right behind her was a guy.

Normally, they would start cheering. She had a friend! And then they would proceed to claim this day as Soo Min Day; her friend was someone of the opposite . Hello, potential boyfriend!

However, they found no cause for celebration.

“Who the heck is he?”

The guy accompanying her to the cafeteria had shoulder length hair and was wearing black leather fingerless gloves and combat boots in tandem with his ed school uniform. From that description alone, he could just be a rebellious teen and it would be a lie if they said they hadn’t wanted to dress like that at one time or another.

What really made them dislike him was his eyeliner. Now, they themselves were familiar with that cosmetic tool; all male idols wore eyeliner. It was a must but only on stage or during shows. There were barely any that actually applied eye makeup as part of their casual daily routine. And this guy didn’t just do a few subtle either: he displayed an extreme winged look that extended a few inches past his yellow circle-lensed eyes and then back-tracked down to his lower lids. This was not the type of guy you would proudly introduce to your parents.

Dongwoo rushed towards the pair. “Soo Min, who’s that?”

She ignored him and continued to listen to the bizarre boy’s story. Hoya tried next. “I don’t trust him. Are you sure he’s a nice person?”

He received the same cold shoulder. Sungjong absolutely couldn’t keep still. “Noona! Why are you with him? He looks scary!”

She turned back slightly, enough to make eye contact with the maknae and shrugged. The rest kept nagging at her to leave and find another friend but she wouldn’t budge. She slowed down and let the guy entered the cafeteria. Once he was out of earshot, she spun around and whispered one request, “Leave me alone.”

Considering the gravity of their earlier actions and her (gracious) nonviolent nature towards the insults in response, they silently agreed and wandered outside, sitting down in an open area.

Sungyeol picked at the grass. “I’m bored. I want to go back to bed.”

Hoya comfortably laid spread out on the ground with his hat over his face. Sunggyu and Woohyun were arm wrestling. It was a few minutes before all of them noticed that three of their members were missing. They all got up and walked around the corner only to find Myungsoo, Dongwoo, and Sungjong hiding behind bushes, peeking through the windows.

“Dongwoo! Move your big head! I can’t see anything!” Myungsoo said as he pushed him.

“Why don’t you just get a bigger head and make me!”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense. Here, let me help you,” He grabbed Dongwoo’s face and started squishing it. “Oh! It’s getting smaller already!”

Sungjong just rolled his eyes and continued observing.

“What makes him so special? He’s just a stupid guy with obvious mommy issues.” Woohyun spat.

Sunggyu gave him a look. “Mom issues?”

“Yeah, just look at his makeup. He’s obviously channeling the lack of a maternal force through his feminine display of makeup.”

Sungjong shrugged. “On the bright side, she’s finally got a friend.”

Woohyun felt like strangling him. “Then what does that make us?!”

“You know what a mean! A real friend! Someone who actually wanted to get to know her from the start.”

“…We wanted to get to know her…”

“No, we wanted to hide… in a different country…”

----------

“Soo Min, my friends and I are meeting up this weekend. Want to join us?” he flashed a dangerous smile towards her.

She didn’t notice; she was too busy fixing the jammed zipper on her backpack. This is why I never use backpacks. Oh shizzling shisus! ARGH! Damn it, Dongwoo. Now you’ve got me saying it too.

He grabbed the backpack from her hands and easily glided the zipper away from the stuck fabric. “So, about my offer? What do you think?”

“Huh?”

“I was asking if you wanted to hang out with me and my friends, mainly me,” he winked, “this weekend.”

And although Infinite couldn’t hear what he was saying, they gagged, “He’s just as greasy Woohyun!”

Soo Min took a bite of her fried rice and nodded. Maybe I was too mean. They did try really hard this morning… NOT THIS FEELING AGAIN! Wait, what did I just agree too?

“Perfect. Give me your number.” He scooted closer.

“Number?”

“You know, cell phone number. So I can call you later.”

“I don’t have a cell phone.”

The guy smiled mischievously. “Even better. How about you just give me your address and I’ll come pick you up on Saturday. Let’s say, around 5? How does that sound, my love?”

She shrugged and told him her address. Do I have to apologize to them again? Saying it a second time today will kill me… Hehehehehe, me dead, hehehehehe.

“Do you like that nickname, my love? I can keep calling you that,” he winked again as he put his arm around her.

The spies outside facepalmed. “We take it back… he’s greasier than Woohyun!”

“HEY! No one’s greasier than me!” Woohyun pounded his chest. “No one can outgrease Namstar!”

----------

A rush of students came rampaging out as school ended for the day. A freshman unknowingly bumped against Sungyeol.

“YAH! RESPECT ANOTHER BEING’S PERSONAL SPACE, YOU CRAZY SON OF A—” Sunggyu gave him a look. “—FLYING DWARF!”

The freshman stopped and made a slight bow to the senior next to him, whom he assumed he had offended. “Sorry. I should’ve been more careful.”

Sungyeol stretched out his arms and lowered them, imitating the “Keep Your Head Down” pose. “That’s right! Bow down to me!”

The senior frowned at the younger student. “Uh… yeah sure, whatever.”

Sungyeol pointed at the other students. “All of you, bow down to me too!”

When no one responded—obviously, silly choding—he snapped his fingers and demanded that they all prepare him a full course meal in apology… and grew even more frustrated at the lack of reaction.

“I CURSE YOU ALL TO THE MILLION, BAJILLION, PIGZILLION YEAR CURSE OF EXCESSIVE HAIR! YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN, YOUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN, YOUR CHILD—“ He kept yelling as he was dragged away by Sungjong.

Soo Min passed by them.

Woohyun caught up to her. “So who was the guy you were talking to earlier?”

“My teacher.”

“What? No, before that.”

“Another teacher.”

“Stop messing around and tell me who that was.”

“Hee—sica.”

“Will you—wait, did you just make a pop culture reference? Nevermind, tell me!”

“Tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me”.

“Stop—another one? What has this school done to you? Now stop interrupting and just do it!”

“That’s what she said.”

“Don’t liken me to a girl. That hurts my pride… and masculinity.”

“Then go away. I’m never going to tell anybody.”

Dongwoo tapped on her shoulder. “Who was that guy you were talking to at lunch?”

“Lee Sang Hyun.”

Woohyun stood there furious. Neither Dongwoo nor Soo Min cared.  “Hey! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked which guy.”

Hoya smiled. “Well, do we at least get to meet him?”

She surveyed the scene around her. Sungyeol was still cursing people (and at them), Sungjong was intervening, Sunggyu and Myungsoo were playing rock, paper, scissors but with their butts (yeah, don’t ask how they came up with that), Woohyun was pouting (with way too much aegyo for a grown person). The only normal people were YaDong… and that name just de-normalized them. “No.”

Woohyun blocked her path. “No.”

“No what?”

“NO YOUR FACE. it.”

Dongwoo slapped him upside the head. “Soo Min-ah, the thing is. Well, honestly… See, look here… it’s just that... HOYA’S GOING TO TELL YOU!”

Hoya’s eyes widened. Dongwoo squeezed his shoulder and whispered, “Sorry, I’m still scared of her. You can do it. Fighting!”

Hoya cleared his throat. “We—we don’t trust him.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“But that’s different. We—you don’t trust me?”

“No.”

“Is that a ‘no, I don’t trust you’ or a ‘no, I do trust you’?”

“No.”

“No, you can’t just say ‘no’. Which is it?”

“No.”

“Soo Min, don’t do this to me. Just tell me—”

“Tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell tell tell me.”

“Now is not singing time! It’s a simple question! Which—” Dongwoo intervened before it could get worse and dragged him over to where the two younger members were still struggling.

“Is he your new friend now?” Woohyun asked.

“I guess,” she shrugged.

He was relieved that she was still as apathetic as always. “Okay. Just don’t hang out with him outside of school.”

“Too late. You can’t tell me what to do,” she said as she stuck out her tongue in defiance.

He stuck his tongue right back at her. “Tell you, tell you, tell tell tell tell tell tell you.”

She was still making a stink face at him when Sang Hyun tapped her shoulder. “Hey, is now a bad time?” He laughed.

Sunggyu and Myungsoo immediately stopped -battling. “YES! Say ‘yes’! STRANGER DANGER!”

She shook her head.

“Are you heading home now? Can I walk you back? It’ll make it easier for me to find your place on Saturday.”

At this, everyone stopped. Woohyun poked her. “Saturday? No! I refuse to let you go.”

Soo Min glared at him. “You’re not my mom!”

Sang Hyun laughed again. “Oh, you’re so precious, my love. Of course I’m not your mom. Now lead the way, princess.”

Sunggyu shook his head. “Something about him doesn’t feel right.” Myungsoo nodded in agreement. With a frown, they started to walk behind the pair.

“He’s weird. He doesn’t look like he has abs, probably spends all day watching makeup tutorials. And his face doesn’t just look like crap; it’s like crap’s crappiest crap.” Woohyun said as he followed.

“Tell me about it.” Hoya said.

Dongwoo eyes had a mischievous look. “Tell me, tell me, tell tell tell tell—“

“Finish that song and I’m never talking to you again.”

“—tell tell me.”

Hoya remained quiet.

“Did you see that one student earlier? She was really cute, eh?”

Silence.

“You wanted pat bing soo, right? Let’s go get some!”

Still no words.

“Wait, seriously?”

…

“Come on! Why are you being so stubborn? Don’t be a Myungsoo!”

The mentioned person turned around. “I feel a bit insulted. I’mboycotting you too.”

“That’s not what I meant. I was just joking. Myungsoo!” While Dongwoo was figuring out how to apologize, Myungsoo and Hoya were internally struggling… on trying not to laugh. Use any reason to give the poor dinosaur the cold shoulder = number four on their list, “Things to Do (to Mess with Dongwoo)”.

Sunggyu and Woohyun were whispering hushed words to each other as they focused on Soo Min’s and Sang Hyun’s interactions.

“His feet are pointed right at her. He must be really interested.”

“But in what? Her soul?”

“Well, he could sincerely like her. You know, for her personality.”

The two ghosts looked at each other. “Nah.”

They arrived in front of her door. Sang Hyun suddenly grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “See you this weekend, my love.” And with a wink, he walked off.

Soo Min immediately reached into her backpack.

“What are you looking for? We have the keys right here.” Woohyun reached into his pockets.

She shook her head and held up a small plastic bottle: hand sanitizer. She squeezed some into her palm and started to rub her hands furiously together.

Woohyun opened the door for her. As she walked by, he smiled and patted her head. “Good girl.”

----------

“—AND YOUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN’S CHILDREN. And you know what else? I’ll make sure they won’t be able to fly either!”

“You mean like a bird?”

“Oh, I was talking about the swagger kind of fly. You know, like all them gangstas all up in my homeboy zone with my shawties and all that. Namsayin, fool? But your version could work too.”

“But it’s impossible for humans to fly.”

“Because of my curse! Sungjong, sometimes I think you’re the slow one in this group.”

Sungjong balled up his fists, muttering, “Stupid hyung, I’m going to get you for that.” Out loud, he shouted, “Hey, hyung!”

“Yeah, slow one?”

“Do you know who was the slowest of the ancient Greek philosophers?”

“No, who?”

“Aristurtle.”

“Oh no… Sunggyu-hyung!”

“There was a story in the news today. A man fell into an upholstery machine… He’s fully recovered.”

“Someone save me!”

“What does a clock do when it’s hungry?”

“Can I call 911 for this?”

“…IT GOES BACK FOUR SECONDS!”

“This is why I should always carry around a murder weapon.”

“The murderer had a heartburn because of something the assassinate.”

“Note to self: figure out how to obtain a posthumous restraining order.”

------------------------------