You looked back but instead of him…your nose bumped into something soft. You jumped a little making you took a step back. Your eyes are now fixed on the enormous thing in front of you. It’s a ing human-sized bear. Its fur looks extremely soft. It’s cute, take note of that. It has a black bowtie which suits its white fleece. Yes, it’s the bear that you were looking at a while ago. You stared at it for a long time and its features are damn hypnotizing. You’re so close in making a childish scene that you have never shown in a long time before, actually, you have no plan on showing that side yours, NO PLAN AT ALL. Why? Because you want to caress its bubbly cheeks, pinch its nose, ing hug it so tight that it might actually die if it’s a living thing and shout blissfully like a 6-year-old. But before you could actually lose your sanity, the bear was out of sight; all you can see now is man with a face of a bun, Kim ing Minseok. You peeked sideways and took a glimpse of the incredibly large bear.

 

“Hey, Miss me?” He said, cutely.

 

“No.” You frowned at the bun. Okay, you yourself admit it that you really liked that bear; now you’re disappointed because it’s not yours. You saw the guy at the counter taking the bear away. You guessed that someone won it already and you’re right because the owner is the one standing in front of you. Looking back a while ago, you already gave him a bear, the one that you won at The Crane. Pffft. Lucky Bun.

 

He gazed at the others. They were goddamn busy on their own ing prizes while you busy dreaming with the bear that this guy was holding. “Looks like you’re the only one who doesn’t have a prize.” He smiled.

 

He goddamn smiled on mental distress. What the hell? This bun needs something to close his damn mouth. Now, you’re mood is bad. Wait. You’re mood is ALWAYS bad. Let me remind you that. “What are you trying to say?” You glared at him, of course.

 

 

He bit his bottom lip then looked at the ground. He was trying to catch every word that he needs to say to you. You were waiting for his answer. Of course he has an answer. You glanced at your watch. 12:31pm. it’s past lunch time or it’s time for lunch, whatever. You crossed your arms and stare at him. He fixed his eyes on your eyes directly. He has a smile plastered on his face. “I... would like...to g-give...t-this to y-you.” He stuttered. At least he finished his sentence. He took a few steps back then handed the bear to you. Your lips parted in awe at Xiumin’s unexpected action. Well, it’s been a long time since someone gave this kind of gift, actually. No one has the guts to give you some. They must be afraid that you will just throw it in the trash bin or something but they don’t know that you treasure everything that someone gave you. You blinked several times, still absorbing the moment. He peeked his head on the side, cutely.

 

 

“You don’t like it?” He pouted.

 

 

“No! I like it actually.” You replied, swiftly. You accepted the bear. You wrapped your arms around its neck and hugged it. You tried to act cool and matured like how you always act but it didn’t work. You didn’t notice that a smile was invading your pretty face. You couldn’t do anything to remove it, by the way. You twirl a bit so you can see Xiumin. Your body was facing the other side but your face, of course, was facing Xiumin on the left. You smiled at him. This time it’s not fake or forced; it’s real and sincere.

 

 

“Thanks, Umin. I love it.” You said with full sincerity in your voice.

 

 

Xiumin looked at the ground, brushing his nape. You can’t see it clearly but you caught a glimpse of his face and it was in crimson. “Y-You’re welcome.” He responded. But your ing cool and smart brain can’t help it but to be as curious as ever. Why on the ing mouth of Baekhyun should he give you something like this? You’re definitely curious. “But...” You started to say. He raised his head and gave you a ‘Yes?’ look. “Why would you give me such thing?” You continued. He became tense all of the sudden. Go on, Minseok, answer the ing question of the reader! He was nervous. He bit his bottom lip.

 

 

“Ah...B-Because you...also gave me a bear then you treated me coffee so...yeah. I j-just gave you something in return. Yeah! Something in return!” He raised a finger like he just got an idea.

 

 

All you could do was nod. You really feel good this time. You don’t know how but this is actually the longest smile that has ever been plastered on your beautiful face and the longest time that you have given a person! [A\N: I’m giving a good compliment on yourself here. Lol] Your smile usually will last for like 15 seconds or less but now, *claps* you survived for 2 and a half minutes. Maybe you should celebrate or something.

 

“Let’s go eat lunch!” You invited, blissfully.

 

Xiumin’s eyes rounded in awe but he nodded in reply. You quickly paced on the rest’s current location. You were actually having a hard time walking because of the enormous bear you were currently hugging. You kept on peeking on either sides just so you could see where or what you were walking at. When you reached the bench, you placed the bear there, carefully. You placed your hands on your hips , satisfied. You pinched its nose then smiled.

 

 

“Well someone’s got a big prize!” Baekhyun said.

 

 

You glanced at them; they smiled. It’s actually not your thing to smile back. If they smiled at you, you gave them glares in return. You don’t know what kind of evil spirit summoned you but...you gave them a smile in return. “Let’s eat Baek. Your treat, right?” You said. You soon realized that they were looking at you with eyes rounded and lips parted with awe. You gave them a blank look.

 

 

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Baekhyun said, definitely stunned because you just gave them the most sincere smile ever. It’s already considered a goddamn miracle for them. “What kind of Baekhyun summoned you, Soo Min-ah?” Kai asked, stunned. All of you laughed on your way to a restaurant.

 

 

--

 

 

You guys are in a restaurant now. The bun-faced man was sitting on your right while the gigantic bar wa placed on your left, sitting like a living thing. Baekhyun was clarifying all your orders while waving a pen. You remembered something and added it to the orders. “Beers, Baek.” You noted. He nodded then called the waiter. You sat back on your seat. You glanced at the bear that Xiumin gave. You were about to touch its ears when your hands started tingling. You quickly put your hands on your lap and let it rest. After a few minutes, it stopped. You let a big sigh, not knowing why.

 

 

“Are you okay?” Xiumin asked, concerned.

 

 

You nodded. He gave you an unsatisfied look but he let you be. You looked at your friends. As usual, Chanyeol and Baekhyun are the noisiest with the maknaes, Kai and Sehun, joining them. Suho and D.O talking quietly, maybe it’s connected with Science or any subject. Xiumin was busy with his phone, playing a game. Chen…he’s missing. This group felt so incomplete. You felt guilty, not saying ‘sorry’ or ‘thank you’ to him. Now, he’s not here hanging out with you guys. He might be there at his house, doing nothing but feeling bad. You shook your head, trying to brush off those thoughts. You’ll say sorry. You promised yourself. Then your orders came.

 

You guys started eating. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were really noisy. D.O and Suho were scolding them already but those are just hard-headed, really. You mentally face-palmed yourself.

 

 

“Taste this.” You looked at your right and saw Xiumin smiling like an idiot at you, holding a spoon with food about 3 inches away from your mouth. You glanced at the spoon then him. You raised a brow and gave him a questioning look. Why on earth is he being like this? “Just taste it, please?” He replied. You just shrugged and do as he says. You let the food rest on your tongue so you could taste it carefully. It tasted great. You swallowed it but you’re having difficulties. You don’t know what’s wrong with your throat or maybe it’s something else. You quickly sip your juice. It’s also hard. Maybe it’s just a sore throat, nothing bad, okay? Nothing bad… You thought.

 

 

“It tasted that bad?” You forgot that Xiumin was there. Because of your actions, he thought you don’t like it. You shook your head. “No. It tasted good, actually.” You replied. He smiled then continued eating his food. You find his actions cute. His face is cute, like a bun. You remembered that you called him Baozi when you were kids. You completely forgot that you two were really close when you were kids that your parents want him to be your boyfriend when you grow up. You completely forgot about it, seriously. You never thought that the barrier in heart can also block those good memories in your brain. Even your likes and habits was ing blocked and has been replaced by dislikes and hatred. Why did you turn out like this? You should stop blaming others, especially your Dad, on why you’re like this now. But you can’t stop blaming being angry with your Dad, especially when your Mom died. You were once a sweet and nice girl before but as you grow up, you became a girl who has a dark aura, boyish and wants to be alone most of the time.  It was one of your habits to study people’s physical features and you haven’t done it for a long time. Yes, you also studied your new girl friends faces but this one’s different. This time, you have this feeling of pleasure in studying his face, Xiumin’s freaking face to be exact. His bun face is one of the cutest features in his face. His pointed nose really suits him. He has single eyelids that his eyes sometimes looked like it’s being owned by a ing girl and most of all, his smile that softens your heart now. You always liked his smile even before; that’s what you missed for years. Not only did you close your heart and mind but also your eyes. You closed it that you didn’t see the smiles of the people around you. You didn’t have the time to appreciate its beauty. You became blind that you missed the beauty of the world for years. If only your Dad would explain deeply, approach you most of the time and apologize every second then maybe you would understand and forgive him for being such a workaholic . Now, you’re bombarded with thoughts.

 

 

You didn’t notice that you have been staring at Xiumin’s face for a long time now. Xiumin’s alarmed now and he asked, “W-Why?”

 

 

Yeah, why were you looking at him?

 

 

“Why are you popping in front of me out of nowhere?” You asked. Wow, nice excuse, missy. You averted his gazed by focusing yourself on the food. You continued eating even if you’re having difficulties in swallowing. You were waiting for his answer. You gazed at him and again, he smiled, “I…just w-want us to b-be…like before…when we were kids.” He replied. That hit your heart. It was like he was reading your thoughts a while ago when you were reflecting or something. Your mind was about to wander when he spoke, “Hope you don’t mind.”

 

Thud. Thud. Thud.

 

You don’t know what’s happening but you’re having this weird feeling that no one has ever made you feel. You gave him a blank look as you replied, “I don’t mind.”

 

You quickly ate your food which is hard for now. You finished your food then drank your juice. You touched your tummy because you were really full. You looked at your friends who are almost finished with your food. Suddenly, you were feeling nausea. You tried to choke it down but it didn’t work. You swiftly scooted out of your chair with your hands on your mouth then you rushed to the restrooms. The others looked at you in shock, making them paused from eating.

 

 

You went in a cubicle and you started to vomit. You continued to vomit for a few minutes. You were trying to catch your breath. You stood up and went out of the cubicle. You’re starting to get anxious on what’s happening. You suddenly felt fear inside you. You walked to the nearest sink. You washed your hands and splashed some water on your face. Your hands were tingling again. You gazed at yourself in grimace at the mirror. Your bangs are wet and your eyeliner will soon be an obnoxious view. You took your scarf and gently dried your face. You went outside. You jumped a little when you saw Xiumin waiting outside, worried.

 

 

“Are you alright? Do you need to go to the hospital?” He asked, concerned.

 

 

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.” You replied, pacing towards your table with Xiumin walking behind you. You sat on your seat. The others gave you a worried look.  “Soo Min-ah, are you alright?” Sehun asked.

 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine, Sehun-ah. Don’t mind me.” You responded.  The others gave you an unsatisfied look but you just shrugged. You saw the beer that Baekhyun ordered. You reached for it but unfortunately, Suho nabbed the ing bottle first. You glared at him, “Suho, that’s mine. Ask Baek to order another one for you.”

 

 

Suho shook his head then looked at you, seriously, “Can’t you see what just happened? Don’t you think it’s because of this!?” He asked, pointing at the soju. You still reached for the bottle. You gawked at him and said, “Yes,  I saw what happened and no, it’s not because of that.”

 

 

The others looked at the commotion you’re making. “What makes you say that it’s not because of alcohols?” He asked again. Baekhyun peeked to see Suho, which is on his row. “Suho hyung, just give her the bottle. I’ll buy you another one if you want.” Baekhyun said.

 

 

“Stop spoiling her! Maybe alcohols are the reason of what happened earlie—“ Suho was cut off when you slammed your fist on the table, which made them all bolted in their seats in surprise.

 

 

“It’s not because of alcohols!” You blurted, annoyed.

 

“How are you so sure?” He bombarded you with questions.

 

“Maybe it’s just because of the food. Aish! There’s a lot of reasons, Suho!” You yelled. The others are trying to prevent you two from making turbulence in the restaurant. “You’ve been drinking this beverage for years, Soo Min. We don’t know but what if it’s already damaging your nerves, your brain, liver or kidney!? Alcohols are fatal too. It may give you chronic pain, lead you to disability or even…death…if you don’t stop now!” He shouted.

 

You were taken aback when you heard this information. All of you were silent. The others have their eyes widen in shock. They looked at you. They’re expressions were unreadable. Your table was filled with silence. “Suho, don’t joke like that.” Xiumin mumbled, breaking the silence. You gritted your teeth. Suho opened his mouth to say something but he abruptly cut off when you scooted out of your chair. Everyone has their eyes on you. You hauled the bear angrily out of its chair.

 

You turned your body away from the table. “I’m leaving. Thanks for this treat, Baekhyun…and Suho…I’m not going to die…” You said in a low tone with your back facing them. You paced towards the door and exited the restaurant.

 

--

 

You’re now inside Genesis, your car. Your hands are on the steering wheel with your eyes focused on the road. You can’t remove your thoughts from what Kim ing Junmyeon said earlier. He’s a smart boy. You can’t ing say he’s wrong because he doesn’t lie about facts. He’s only serious when something worries him. He only lectures when… he knew he might be right.

 

It may give you chronic pain, lead you to disability or even…death…if you don’t stop now!

 

Alcohols are fatal too.

 

You halted at the red light. Is it really because of soju? You thought. Your fingers were fidgeting on the steering wheel. “Should I stop?” You glanced at the bear and asked it. “Should I really stop?” You asked again. The bear said nothing, of course. You’re crazy.

…

 

“But what if I can’t!?” You’re getting desperate, as if it would answer back. You ruffled your hair in frustration. “Agh!” You rested your forehead on the steering wheel. You sighed deeply.

 

Beep! Beep!

 

You quickly sat up and saw the green light. You swiftly moved Genesis away from those ing horns. So annoying. You were driving gently with the same thoughts a while ago.

 

If only Suho let me taste that soju that Baek bought for me even for the last time, then maybe I will stop. You thought. You bit your bottom lip. It’s been hours since you last tasted one.

 

I’m not going to die… You thought again. Your hands were starting to sweat.  You pushed the gear shift forward and pressed the clutch pedal. Genesis increased its speed.

 

This is my life…

 

Your hands tighten its hold on the steering wheel. You pressed your foot more on the gas pedal and Genesis flashed in the roads. You gritted your teeth and your eyebrows furrowed. If anyone could see you, they will say you’re unstoppable. Genesis was so fast.

 

 “They should stop meddling with my life!” You pressed the clutch brake, unknowingly. There was a loud screech. Genesis halted. You bounced back and forth, making your forehead bumped on the steering wheel. You groaned as you slowly lift your head up. You glanced at the rear view mirror. You saw dust all over the road behind you. You looked at the bear and it slightly fell. The other accessories were out of place. Everything was a mess. Your hands let go of the steering wheel. You rested your back on your seat. You let out a big sigh. Your hands were trying to shake. You touched your forehead and you groaned in pain. You whacked the steering wheel furiously not knowing why. You yelled angrily. You don’t know what’s wrong with you. At the mall, you were happy. At the restaurant, you felt fear. On the road, you were so mad. You actually don’t know the reason of your sudden mood swings. You shook your head and started driving again. One thing’s for sure. You’re back to your old self.

 

 

--

 

 

Everyone can’t utter a word. They all glared at Suho, obviously blaming him for what happened. What scared him the most was, of course, D.O’s big doe eyes. Well, who wouldn’t? He just ruined your mood. “Now look what you did, hyung” Baekhyun gibbered. He called the waiter so he can pay the bill. “Nice one, hyung. You ruined the chance. She was starting to change.” Sehun uttered. Suho looked down. He knew it’s his fault but he couldn’t stop himself from telling you those facts. “You shouldn’t have said that all of a sudden.” D.O said.

 

“But someone needs to wake her up!” Suho protested.

 

Xiumin scooted out of his chair, making everyone gazed at him. He stuffed his hands on his pockets. “She’ll do the exact opposite of what you want her to do. You know that, right?” He blunted. He turned away from the table and swiftly exited the place. Kai put a thumb on his chin. He nodded. “She’s probably bought a box of soju right now.” He blurted. Everyone looked at him, realizing what he said was true. They all whined and glared at Suho. Suho huffed deeply.

 

 

--

 

 

You just finished placing the box of soju inside Genesis. You’re on your way home now. It took you a long time convincing that guy to give you a box. But at the end, bribery wins. *le evil smile* Good thing you’re driving peacefully now. The only injury you have was the bump on your forehead. You arrived at your house with your maid waiting outside. You got grabbed the bear and went outside. “I have a box inside. Bring it to my room now.” You ordered the maid. She nodded and brought out the box outside your car. She obediently followed behind you. Your Dad was at the living room. He called you but you ignored him. You entered your room. The maid placed the box beside the door. She bowed then make her leave. You caught a glimpse of your Dad walking towards your room. You quickly closed the door and locked it. You have double locks so you’re secured. You jumped at your bed. Your Dad starts knocking at your door. “Soo Min, open the door, please!” You pretended not to hear anything. You heard keys outside your room. Trying to open my door? You thought. The door knob was unlocked. Your Dad pushed the door but since you’re using double locks, he still wasn’t able to open it. You snickered. “Soo Min, did I just saw the maid carried you a box of soju!?” He shouted from the outside.

 

 

“You’re still a student! You shouldn’t be drinking those stuffs, you hear me!?” He lectured.

 

 

You rolled your eyes and paced towards the bathroom.

 

 

“I’m just worried, okay? But I’m so disappointed in you!” He said.

 

 

That line, he also said that when you were in 6^th Grade. You can still remember it. He thought that you can be lectured easily. He even embarrassed you in front of those people. Now, they think you’re a liar telling them those things. They thought you just wanted to be safe but you’re not.

 

--

 

“He won’t come, trust me.”

 

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Next Chapter: "Name it."

 

Author's Note: I'm trying to improve my grammars and stuff. I'm sorry about the typographical erros. I'm really sorry! T3T

Sorry for the late update. The laptop just went down. You know, we need to fix it. I'm really sorry. Hope you understand. Thanks~ Ajujuju~~

Saranghae <3 Love Love