Remember when I said being gay calls for uncomfortable situations? I realized I liked girls in the seventh grade when I caught myself staring at Yuri (and her s). Several months of questioning and denial later, I came to the conclusion I was a lesbian. I should've been able to figure it out when I threw away my Barbies and asked for a skateboard instead.
    I didn't come out right away though. I was terrified. I was under the impression that I would lose all my friends and would be bullied everyday. It took me a year to gain the courage to tell my friends. I had only planned on telling Ailee and Jackie. I ended up telling Min, Ailee, Donghae, Jonghyun, Luna, and Sulli. Siwon just kind of figured it out. His gaydar is impressive. Eunhyuk found out from eavesdropping on me telling Sulli. I'm not sure how Jiyong and Henry  found out. At first they were all uncomfortable with it, especially Siwon being a super Christian and all. In the end everyone was fine with it, I lost no friends, and have yet to be called a dyke. Well, hatefully.
    Telling my family was quite the ordeal..at least with Mama. I told Jackie who was the coolest jiejie ever.
    "Hey, jiejie."
    "Sup llama?"
    "Um..I have something I need to tell you."
    "Alright. Shoot."
    "I think I like girls. More than I should." 
    "I know," she said as she gave me a hug and messed up my hair.
    My sister is literally the coolest.
    Telling my mom was not as cool. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, praying to God she didn't know enough English to understand.
    "Mama."
    "What."
    "I have something to tell-"
    "Shuo zhongwen." (speak Chinese)
    "Ma, I don't know these words in Chinese. I think I'm gay."
    -silence-
    "You gay? You want marry girl? Not boy?"
    "Yeah, ma. I..um-"
    "You know ees wrong. God don't want gay in heaven. You need marry man."
    At this point I went to my room holding back tears, but Jackie new me well enough to come in and comfort me. Judging by Ma's reaction I am NOT going to tell my baba ever.
~                   ~                    ~                      ~                       ~                   ~                        ~
    Here I am four years later with a y ex-girlfriend, a crush on a most likely straight girl, and a mother who doesn't love me as much anymore. She probably just keeps me around to wait for me to graduate. Ugh, I need to talk to Min. I'm getting moody and been thinking about Krystal too much.
    I picked up my phone to call her and on the last ring I hear "Hello?"
    "Hey Min. What's up?"
    "Eh, not much. Just putting off my biology homework. Why'd you call me? You usually text."
    "Ugh, my feels, Min. It's Krystal again."
    "Again, llama?"
    "Dude, I know. I'm so bad."
    "Girl, you don't even know her. At all. You've never even spoken to her." 
    "Uh, yeah we have! She asked if she could borrow a pencil from me and I said 'Okay.'" I know her well enough to know she'd be silently laughing and rolling her eyes. "We're practically blood sisters!" I said with a hint of sarcasm.
    "Whatever, Amber. I need to go. I'm due for my mid-evening nap."
    "Have a nice nap, lazy," I said as I hung up. 
    As much as I'd hate to admit it, Min's right. Krystal and I don't ever talk. Now that I realized it, I didn't even tell her what I called her for. Advice. Well, Min was no help. It's too late now because she's probably passed out on her couch.
    That night I couldn't help, but toss and turn trying to fall asleep thinking about Krystal. I gave up at midnight and went on Tumblr LGBT advice blogs for help.  Afraid I might get caught not asleep, I pulled my covers over my head to hide my phone. Damn, it was so uncomfortable. I felt like I was suffocating. And before I could get any help from Tumblr, I fell asleep with my phone on my face. It wasn't the best night's sleep.
    In the morning I woke up late and I was groggy as hell. Jackie bursted into my room and jumped on my bed. I kicked her off like the bastard I am, got up, and Ma's was yelling at me for waking up late, then kicking my sister in the face somehow. Mornings are fun. Why can't they be more like a peaceful awakening to a beautiful dewy atmosphere that's calm and quiet, leaving you feeling refreshed? 
    Then I decided to change. Today at school was going to be different. I'm going to finally stop being a coward and take Min's thoughts into consideration. I'm going to talk to Krystal.

Authors note: I know this chapter's really short and boring, but bear with me:) the next chapters a lot longer and better. This was just a set up of the releationship of Amber and her mom, sister, and some of her friends.