Chapter VI

Chrysalism

Day One.

Realisation. The despicable sensation of being coated with guilt. The unrealizable wish to turn back time.

This is my fault, this is my entire fault.

I should have stayed. I shouldn't have listened.

I have not been able to protect them.

***

Day Two.

Painful sorrow. Deep affliction. The loathsome feeling of complete and utter loss.

What a failure. I am such a failure. I am a coward.

I am being punished for what happened to Mikan.

I have no reason left to live.

***

Day Three.

The desperate craving for revenge. The agonizing and endless inner struggle. The internal split of consciousness as a defense mechanism of the mind to cope with grief.

I will kill them all. Each one of them.

I will tear their heart to shreds until the snow is covered with blood.

They will pay.

***

Day Four.

Numbed.

“It's been four days, already.” Luhan's voice revealed his growing uneasiness as he looked at the motionless girl on the floor, her back resting against the side of the bed. The seven males followed his gaze warily, one of them crouched down next to her, a worried expression decorating his tanned face. In fact, all of them were worried, even the Moonstone Pack. Especially Yixing.

Four days ago, after Inyô's painful farewell to her two pack members, the Moonstone Pack had decided to join forces with Tenohra's Wolves. Or at least, with what was left of them. An emotionally drained, mute and absentminded soon-to-be Alpha and her distraught and worried Beta. When they came home, Zak had followed Kris's order to settle the unconscious girl in his arms on one of the empty four-poster beds. A few hours later, she had woken up with a start, screaming, her eyes panic-stricken for a few moments and had hugged her knees to her chest, wrapping herself in her mutism, hazy eyes staring straight in front of her, into nothingness.

At some point, Zak had imitated her behavior for about two days. That was how their pack mourned their pack members, their friends, in silence and fasting. But when he realized that she still gave no sign of reaction on the third day, he grew more and more worried. She didn't eat, nor did she drink. She also refused to sleep since her agitated awakening, keeping her hazy eyes open in a flat, cold and lifeless expression.

However, she began to feel the after-effects of her three sleepless nights as her eyelids suddenly felt heavy and her muscles ached. She struggled to stay awake. She didn't want nightmares to assault her once again.

“Sae... you should really sleep. You need to rest.” Zak's tone was firm, yet almost pleading.

Hearing the familiar nickname, Misae slowly averted her head to her friend, in a daze and completely oblivious to the six standing males a few meters away behind him. It was the first time she acknowledged his presence in four days and he unconsciously released a deep and relieved sigh. Her voice still wouldn't come out, though. She simply stared straight into his eyes with her own, empty ones. There was some agitation in the kitchen and slightly rushed footsteps in their directions. Suddenly, a glass of water appeared in front of them and was given to Zak. Misae eyed the agile movements absentmindedly, her mind still unable to proceed clearly what was happening. Zak nudged her lips with the edge of the glass and her lips parted instinctively. A cold liquid ran down her dry throat and a shiver ran down her spine as the cool sensation spread throughout her body. A tiny, cristalline sound made its way to Misae's ears as the older boy placed the almost empty glass on the wooden floor next to him. She resumed staring vacantly into space, fighting against her sleep-deprived eyes. Sighing, because of frustration this time, Zak carefully wrapped his arms around Misae's body, laying her head on his shoulder and her hair soothingly to lull her to sleep. It seemed to work as a few minutes later, she was completely limp and relaxed in his embrace, her breathing deep and regular. A tired smile appeared on his face, happy that she was finally coming back to life.

Unnoticed to them, several hours passed by as they basked in peaceful silence.

"Will she be okay ?" Yixing cautiously asked to the other male, careful not to wake the girl up. 

He was not really fond of the sight of them being so close, both literally and figuratively, but he had no right to voice his disapproval. He was aware that skinship was a normal thing amongst their kind. The physical contacts were a proof of loyalty, comfort, affection, it made them feel secure. And he was not part of her pack, anyway, so it is not like he could provide her with the solace she needed right now. He had never been good for cheering people up even when it came to his own pack, unlike Luhan, who always knew how to find the right words to say.

"She will." Zak responded curtly. He then looked at the girl snuggled in his arms and instantly softened. "She is stronger than she looks, trust me. But everyone has their weak spot. Today, hers was tested to its limits."

"Your Alpha said that it wasn't the first time." Tao stepped in the hushed conversation.

"It wasn't." Zak let out a sad sigh. "This same pack attacked us four years ago. Back then, their motive was pretty uncertain and their fighters were pretty much inexperienced and under-trained, but I don't think they were seeking for a real confrontation. It was probably a way to test our defense. The pack of Tenohra is the dominating one, here. We own three quarter of the lands. It is clear that they want us down. They must have availed the last four years to prepare for what happened today."

The six boys nodded, gradually understanding the situation. A deafening silence abruptly invaded the room as everyone was lost in their thoughts. Several long minutes went by, only filled with Misae's peaceful breathing, until Xiumin decided to break it.

"Who is Mikan ?" He questioned, aloof.

At the sound of that name, Misae whimpered in her sleep, her body acting on its own as her grip on Zak's shirt - well, the one Kris kindly lent him - tightened desperately. She calmed down after a minute, giving in to the soothing whispers and gentle hair . There was another long moment of silence as the tanned male pondered whether he could reveal such a private story. After what seemed like an eternity, he let out a deep sigh.

"I don't trust you, but apparently she does. So I will tell you. But please don't ever bring this name up again." He made sure everyone nodded, solemn, before proceeding with his explanation. "Misae used to have a little sister. They were pretty much inseparable and she was really protective over her." He paused, a soft smile tugging his lips upward at the happy memories of the two sisters wandering in the woods while laughing and playing in the snow during winter. A pensive frown appeared on his face soon after as he carried on. "As I said ealier, their first attack was a failure in bringing our pack down. It still was one of the worse attacks we faced. There were a few victims and it impacted the pack deeply. 

"I was sixteen at that time, I was still considered a child, like many others. Like Misae. We were brought to a hidden and secure cave. It all h