Chapter one

The calm air mingled with the scent of coffee and pastries, swirling gently inside the room full with people of various age, mostly middle-aged and very few kids. The wide windows facing the busy street were filled with thick glass, isolating the silent atmosphere from the loud honks and chatter outside. Inside, a tall man with a fair face and perky ears attends to the customers' needs in his black apron.

Meanwhile, Redge was seated at a corner near the wooden door where a small bell dangles to signal the arrival of cafe goers. Across the small round table, a man was sitting stiffly, facing her, sun-kissed and intensely attractive. His orbs resembled the wooden attire of the ceilings, adorned with delicate carvings and a small chandelier— brown, detailed, and bright.

He was talking to her, asking millions of questions inside his head that he has no power to voice out with. Engulfed with guilt and shame, he felt like stuffing his head inside a sack of regret for the embarrassment he feels and have felt since five years ago. He knew. If the whole world decided to tag all the blame in him, he would not deny. It was his fault even from the beginning and he deserved what he's feeling at the moment.

His eyes wandered the assembly of her physique and noticed she had cut her hair short. Her curtain of straight silky black hair now reaches just until her small shoulders with a minimal wave at its tips, unlike before when it used to fall to her waist like soft needles. Her baby face before now reduced into protruding cheekbones and delicate jawline. The thick eyeglasses were also gone and replaced with contact lenses. She's a new girl physically and yet he wished she's the same bubbly, caring girl he used to know on the inside. The classic spark on her eyes gave him hope that not everything has changed. The spark never left, and he smiled inside, in reminisce of her sweet antics that he misses and his heart seemed to melt into a puddle of gooey emotions.

He wanted to ask her how has she been since she left the town. The school. Since she left his life. He wanted her to tell good stories with her smile but he knew it's far possibility since he's a person whom Redge would not enjoy talking to. His face was a reminder of her painful past. Hence, he was grateful she even considered his invitation to join him for coffee after they have ran across each other at the hospital, albeit the awkward air hollering the two of them. Though only a table apart, she seemed miles distant from him.

It has been five years since they last saw each other, wasted and broken. It has been five years since she decided to live a new life away from everyone, where she had herself smashed into pieces by the very man in front of her and struggled to build herself back up. And now fate just likes to toy them around, bringing the two of them together at the same room, breathing the same air, and of the same reason.

Not too long when the attendant came to them with his tray filled with their orders. He smiled at the two like he was trained with his pearly whites and his name tag that read 'Chanyeol' as he placed cups of coffee at the table. The two bid their 'thank yous' before he bowed and left, leaving the rest back in their dense air, choking in awkwardness.

"So... what brings you here, Jongin?"

She asked before sipping on her coffee with her blank face. He did not know whether to be glad that she spoke to him, or be terrified with her empty face. No emotion, unlike before when her eyes would set stage for fragile and sincere feelings. He cringe internally at her odd behavior but thinking what he had caused her, maybe it wasn't odd at all. Maybe it's normal after some 'motherer' had ruined her life and broke her heart. Man, it hit him. Right on the red dot. Bullseye.

She narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her when she received no response. However, she saw he was trying only to have been hindered with stutters and jitters. She smirked inside, feeling smug over the sudden turn of situation. The conceited and admirable man before who made her knees wobble and words slip and slide carelessly out of nervousness, now losing his track of moves and legacy in front of her, or— what's even more appropriate— because of her. For the past five years she had been building herself back up, packing herself with shield of strength and boy-proof heart since she left the town and disappeared from everyone's sight and knowledge. She grew into a new woman. Strong and even more desirable.

"Jongin? Did you turn dumb over the years?"

She let out a soft chuckle partly insulting the sun-kissed man after she felt power surging her nerves at a small joke she uttered. She has all the rights to ridicule him, she thought. If anything, it would be her looking down on him, guessing he was at a mess after what he did. However she didn't know why, in the first place, she agreed to come with him at the coffee shop. Something unexplainable resides inside her that still pushes her to interact with him. To welcome him again in her life. She didn't know why, yet she was almost sure she isn't affected anymore— romantically at the least. All she felt was disgrace and none of the admiration and care she used to shower him before.

He flashed a weak grin, his eyes soft. "Krystal just gave birth."

As if the window glass by her side has been broken into bits, she felt something inside her ear uncomfortable, as if static took control of her sense of hearing. Did she hear wrong? What was that again? Her once brave eyes softened and darted uneasy on the table, focusing at anything as long as it isn’t Jongin’s face. She felt her shoulders dropped and her thighs weaken. Her heart might have even skipped one or a couple of beat by what she heard.

“R-really?” She tried to make her sound unaffected but to no avail. Even more when Jongin assured her and nodded. She almost just froze on the spot that she couldn’t even blink in a normal pace, like her eyelids were paralyzed with her entire body. It has only been the start of the day yet it felt like a whole day have passed by the way she feels, exhausted and dismayed although it felt like short seconds were year she just want to let it all pass at once and leave her seat but she can’t.

The cups of coffee shook at the table as Redge’s phone vibrated. It took a bit long moment before she even realized and picked up the call.

“Y-yeah. I’m just… down h-here by the coffee shop.” She said bit stuttering and still startled by what Jongin has said while he only listened and wondered who might be the one on the other line and he just wondered if it’s someone special. He prayed it wasn’t. He even prayed she doesn’t have one of such treasured person..

“ Yes. The one Chanyeol works at.” Her fingers shaking when she pressed the button and ended the call, if he was not mistaken.

“I uhh… I’m sorry I just had to take that call.” She said as she placed down her phone back on the table avoiding Jongin’s eyes.

“No. No. That’s okay.” Jongin said accordingly with a smile. “So, how about you, Redge? Why were you at the hospital?”

Her body even weaken more and just felt low at his query when she was reminded of that person she was visiting. Bitterness etched on her face as she uttered, “I’m visiting a friend.”

Jongin made an “o” shape with his lips with a nod. “Does he work there?” the forlorn girl shook her head weakly.

“He’s… sick.”

“Ah. I hope he gets well soon. It’s not anything serious, r—“

“He has cancer. Stage four.” She butted in in her flat expression. Eyes empty as if hopes were drained to the tiniest bit there was.

He was taken aback. Though he doesn’t know who that person is to her, he saw how sad were her eyes and he couldn’t help but feel the same, or maybe even sadder for her. His heart most likely leaped from its normal beat to decreasing as he saw how her lips would slightly pout in frustration, he had seen her hurt so many times but this time it’s different. He could not do anything to make it stop. Oh. He forgot… he did nothing as well before when she was in pain for loving him though he has the power and he mocked himself inside in regret.

“I’m so sor—“

“There you are!” A man’s voice resonated along with the tingling sound of the bell. His voice wasn’t deep but definitely has its y husk on it, and soon a tall blonde guy approached the table, his hand was occupied with a cold cup of smoothie with a straw poked in it. 

"Sehun-ah!" Jongin felt his heart contracted in little pinching pain as he saw the bona fide smile that Redge just gave to the man. For the first time, he captured her amused, like she never had any worries confined in her when that Sehun came.  Even more when she glazed  her fingers on his arms with much affection and gestured him to sit on the vacant chair.

Sehun dropped lazily on the seat next to her, sipping on his smoothie with half-lidded eyes, not even bothering to greet the other guy across. He looked sleepy and stoic but Jongin was sure that is just how he is. His algae shirt fell loose on his bone-y shoulders while his hair was short and blonde--razored on both sides. His face structure was sharp and chic giving Jongin the intimidating expression that he never fancied. A small tug on Jongin's lips emanated as he cringed about the stranger who possibly was her lover but still offered the enthusiasm for the very least, despite wanting to chew the rude man's head off of his crane-long neck.

"Ummm... hi. I'm Jongin." He hung his hand on the open air, anticipating for the other's to shake his in hopes of impressing the girl for his manners but to no avail. Sehun eyed him uninterested and if he was not just imagining things, Jongin thought he kind of flashed him the mocking eye roll with a small scoff before poking Redge on her side to claim her attention. But the fact was he was not imagining at all. Sehun showcased flippancy. He pulled his hand back with a displeased look towards the blonde.

"Redge, hyung is waiting for you back there." Totally shutting Jongin off the very instant by opening a conversation with the girl and paying him no acknowledgement.

"Let's go." He added his invitation as if simply being at the very place with Jongin made him itch that he wanted to leave as soon as they could.

To Jongin's grief, Redge took his proposition and nodded in accordance of leaving. How could she? They barely even started huddling. He felt his jaw rigidified involuntarilly, annoyed and extrememly aggrieved with the presence of the two. It was ironic how they get to act in such demeanor amenet him. Now he's savoring the taste of his own medicine.

"You're leaving already?" He asked flimsy demanding.

"Do I need to ask permission?" Redge uttered sarcastically in her steady expression. Not too conceited, but neither polite. The last time she checked she was a free woman of South Korea and breathing is perfectly allowed without anyone's warrant so most likely, going whenever, wherever, with whoever she liked would work just the same. Especially against a man as viscious as the one she's dealing with.

"B-but Redge, we still have so much to talk about." His head was suddenly clouded of what ifs. What if she leaves and he never come accross her again? What if it was the last time he would be able to talk to her? How could he appologize for everything? His eyes were scared and pleading for a chance that was potentially futile.

"There's not a single thing that we need to talk about, Jongin. Are you high?" Sehun chuckled mockingly upon her spewed words. He wanted to pat her back to tell her he's proud of how she's hanling the situation. He's proud that she's standing for herself. She sure have learned a lot through their years together.

That's my girl.

"About that... that inciden--"

"Save it." Her face went rigid and head hung low. She would listen to anything as long as it has nothing to do with that incident. She did not strive all these years just to be dragged back to the puddle of her dark past and get soaked only to feel the pain again.

"I know you hate me, Redge. I am so so--"

Almost as soon, she suddenly flashed a proud smile--at least one that looked like it and stared at Jongin, almost glaring but her lips were wearing an ironic smile. Minimizing his self esteem with her gaze, she spoke in her calmest way,

"No man can pull me low enough to hate him, Jongin. Especially not you. I don't hate. I shut undeserving people completely off out of my life so there would be no place for hate. Most importantly... there would be no place left for them." her words were calm but definitely have intensifying means beneath. Her voice stung deep in his chest and he felt his body backing off. 

How much had change? It seemed like he was an alien to his own earth, unfamiliar and dumbfounded of what came crashing to his head. He had his reasons, yes. But looking back to everything that has happened... he decided it was the lamest excuse ever. He was scared. He was scared and that made him loose her. What makes him think another lame excuse would draw her back? Stupid, Jongin. Stupid.

"Now if you'll excuse us... We still have so much better things to do." She stood from her seat carefully as Sehun guided her with his hand on her arm as if it was the most natural thing to do. Like he was too familiar of her whatnots and it made the envious man wonder even more of who Sehun really is in her life. He wished to di just the same for the girl. His heart ached to take care of her, but he has no right to do that. Even the chance, there was none.

He gulped in shame of himself, processing words he pursued to utter but there were not anything that came out if his lips except a defeated sigh. They were strolling away and each step made them closer to the door. Each step kept her away from him and he wanted to tag after her and just grab her to stuff in his pocket. To keep her to himself, away from all the wrong things, away from Sehun. It took a bit long moment before he manufactured a word, and it was his favorite one...

"Redge!" He called only to have been put out  when she raised the back of her hand while walking away to shut him up.

He caught Sehun exchanging goodbyes with the man by the counter with a customized handshake before they finally exited the shop. They were gone.  His only chance... he lost it. He lost her for the second tim--

"No." His face lit up at a thought. A clever one! It was the first time he ever felt so glad about an idea and he would waste no time to get it done.

A u t h o r ' s  N o t e 

Hi. *runs and hide behind a garbage can* *draws mega phone out* SO... I am so sorry if I did not meet your expectations. You may now reveal your packs of tomato and aim at me! 

Leave me comments, alright? One tomato thrown at me demands a comment as well, arasseo? Haha. I'm so shy. :(  By the way, there would not be for now. Boo hoo~ Poor byun babes crying? But I can feel there would be a need for it soon. By the latter chapters maybe.

Anyone curious about the new characters? You probably should ready yourselves to welcome ot12 because they'll come eventually crashing few scenes here. 

Thank you guys! Mahal ko kayo. :) 

[edit] I changed the Title of the story from Chasing Love to Chasing Ms. impenetrable!  Cause I find my title too cliche.