[remember me]

I knew the last time that I held you...

Was the last time I would have never let you go.

KyungSoo stares down at the 22-yr old guy who was sleeping peacefully on the bed. This would’ve been heart-warming if it weren’t for the intravenous needles, heart monitor and oxygen mask that seem to swathe the person in front of him. His lips twitch as if trying to move from numbness. When was the last time he smiled or even spoke?

What did it matter?

He can still remember that fateful night. They were fighting over something trivial on their way home. One thing led to another until he asked ChanYeol to drop him off the sidewalk. The other refused and just continued driving. KyungSoo tried to grab the steering wheel to lead it to the side. Next thing he knew he was in a wheel chair with broken ribs and a bleeding head.

ChanYeol flew from the drivers’ seat and hit a street lamp. He had multiple fractures, a concussion and possibly a short time to live.

KyungSoo didn’t know if the pain he was feeling was from the physicality of his wounds or altogether the insubstantial state he found himself and his boyfriend in. It must be the latter.

“His spinal cord was damaged during the impact. We won’t know the extent of the damage until he wakes, if he ever wakes up,” Doctors in that hospital sure knew how to drop a bomb.

He wistfully thumbs the locks of hair that found their way to ChanYeol’s forehead. He looks at him as his stomach lurch and twist. He feels responsible for the other’s condition and just wishes he can switch places with him. ChanYeol was the radiant sun that envelopes him, the hand that fits his perfectly. The rock that his frail psyche can lean on, but what of now?

He’s spent almost three weeks in the hospital without so much as a spasm or jerk from ChanYeol, even after talking to him for five straight hours at ends. People who are comatose are said to be able to hear clearly what is happening around them. KyungSoo has completely put his faith in this knowledge and encourages the taller guy to wake up almost everytime he gets the chance to.

Sadly, the boon of his efforts seems to have just been clouded by the bane of his folly. He feels guilt, overtly consuming and mind numbing guilt.

The year was 2083, and the streets were pretty much the same from when his grandpa JoonMyeon used to describe the world to be back before The Shift.

The world was in an extreme turmoil before that, which happened around 2049. The South Korean Government was the super power of the world then and they just discovered time travel. The UN Forces and its allies used this still-nascent technology to restore order in a world that was wreaked with nothing but chaos.

When eventually everything was at peace, the Korean Government forever shut down The Return Project. This was the mission that oversaw the operation of getting well trained people to the past to alter them in a way that the outcome in the present was not drastic, just enough to keep things under control. After 16 years of covert operations, the UN finally decided to terminate everything and everyone in the project.

However, there were inside people who usurped the technology for themselves in hopes of using this for fiscal gain. In a world of peace, one can only think about getting rich after all.

It might have been fate, or maybe destiny most corrupt, but KyungSoo was at the right place at just the right time when it all happened. He overheard two bloke gentlemen talking about The Return, and how a time machine was actually in their midst, accessible to anyone willing to pay the price.

He must be a fool not to jump in on this opportunity. What is money for a chance to rectify what was wrongfully decreed of their relationship?

“This is an absolutely absurd idea! And illegal at that!” Dara exclaims. She is ChanYeol’s childhood bestfriend, and KyungSoo thought that of all people, she would understand the motivating pretext why he considers doing it.

“This is the only chance that I can get him back. The only chance any of us can get ChanYeol back.”

“KyungSooyah, I know that your intention isn’t coming from a self-regarding place, but do you ever watch the news? People from the past or the future keep cropping up with no recollections of how they got here or where they are. Sometimes when they are. There’s no guarantee that this will work.”

“Dara noona, my mind is made up. Whether you approve or not, I’m going through with it.”

“Then why did you even bother telling me?” Dara says flatly. In her heart of hearts she knows this is a bad idea.

“I just—I just want you to be there when he wakes up.”

Dara shoots an inquiring gaze at the younger who is now looking at the ground. He is shaking, but not from anger, perhaps from his conscious effort not to cry.

“Noona, promise me you’ll be there for him. I won’t be able to do that anymore once I step into the time machine.”

“So why risk everything KyungSoo?”

“Because I can’t just stand here while I see the man who did everything for me, lay there suffering from what was supposed to be my fate!”

“And who’s to say that it was supposed to be you on that bed and not him?”

KyungSoo recalls how ChanYeol offered his seatbelt to him that night instead of using it himself. In the future, safety gears like these were sold by item, much different from what he’s learned from the past. And it was quite expensive as well.

“This isn’t open for discussion noona. Will you do it or not?”

Dara steps forward and hugs the shaking kid. Her shoulders soon become wet with tears. Tears that confine the sadness and longing of this derelict soul who wants nothing but another chance to be happy.

“I promise KyungSoo. I promise.”

--

How are you ChanYeol? It’s me, KyungSoo. I’m sorry if I’m not there with you. I know I promised I’ll always be by your side, yet here I am leaving you. Don’t worry, I’ll be back. Like I always have. We’ll be together soon. I love you, like I loved you yesterday. Please remember that.

--

The ominous day that KyungSoo was both waiting and dreading for has now come. He’s lead to a small underground room where he was asked to sign several forms ranging from anything about legal liabilities, obligatory emancipation, up to a waiver stating that they, the company, should not be prosecuted for any untoward events that may happen during the travel.

KyungSoo sits down staring at the last piece of paper he had to sign.

                Time travel has not been perfected and is still at trial and error stage. By signing below, you are releasing us [the company] from any legal responsibilities that may be triggered, arising from any inopportune event leading to the time travel [whether be present or future times].

He takes his pen and signs his name, and probably the last of his money and properties as well. This was not cheap, but KyungSoo was willing to give up everything. Everything but ChanYeol.

He intrepidly steps inside the small cubicle that’s supposed to be the machine that will blast him back in time. His one last chance to get him back. He closes his eyes as he gets strapped on the cold chair. He’s sure that the machine isn’t yet as there was still one person inside it with him doing one final check on the small monitor, but he starts to feel dazed and everything just goes in slow motion.

The person leaves the cubicle and locks it behind him. He hears heavy clicking and then suddenly the sound of machines whirring fill the small room he’s in. It’s deafening, and he couldn’t think of anything else, much like the time when he first saw ChanYeol after the accident. Lying so defenseless and helpless atop a cold unforgiving hospital bed.

This was definitely the right way to go, KyungSoo assures himself. He scans the small space he’s in and begins racing thoughts in his head as to where he would be in a few seconds. Will it be a success or will he end up like one of those nameless faces that came either from the future or the past without any memories about when they’re from?

He bites his lips. Love will a find a way perhaps?

The machine resonates one final rumble, and then everything becomes a swirl of faces, places and memories. He feels his feet leaving the ground  but everything is too much for his head to drink in. He’s never felt so confused, so contrite, and so scared all at the same time. His head feels like its expanding, and then quickly shrinking. KyungSoo yells but his voice gets drowned by screams of people he didn’t know. He hears a lot, some singing, some shouting, some just talking, but all at the same time.

His eyes begin to water as his frail body bears an intense pull from all directions. Any moment now his body was going to rip into pieces. Maybe this was the price he had to pay for everything he did to the love of his life. He smiles one last time upon remembering ChanYeol. His smile, and his laughter. This may well be the best that he can do as he surrenders to the impending kismet. He says one final sorry and everything went blank.

--

Hey ChanYeol! How are you? I hope you’re fine and smiling. Wherever I am right now, I know I’m somehow thinking of you. Funny how I am writing a letter to you in the future, but I’m somewhere lost in the past. But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you. I love you today ChanYeol. Remember that KyungSoo does.

--

~~

"ChanYeolssi?"

"Neh?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

ChanYeol kept quiet and fondly smiled to the sky.

"I think I have. But why do you ask?"

KyungSoo bit his lips and looked at the man-made pond in front of where they were seated. A small blush formed on either side of his cheeks.

"Uhm, I... just curious I guess. I wanna know how it feels to fall in love and why people are afraid of it."

"Hmm."

KyungSoo kept quiet, maybe not wanting to press on. He didn't want to impose too much on his classmate. They've been hanging out quite a lot for the past 6 months and he's kind of developing feelings for him already, and it's scaring him to the point of confusion.

"Forget I asked." KyungSoo was about to leave the small park bench they were sharing when he felt the other's hand grab his wrist.

"Falling in love is much like looking at the sky."

"What?"

"You know it's there. If you reach out to it with your hands, it seems like you can almost touch it."

"But you can't really touch it ChanYeolssi~ Unless you have a jetpack, which is quite costly these days."

ChanYeol chuckles and pulls the younger close to his side, closer than they've ever been.

"But you don't have to reach it to feel the endlessness that it has to offer KyungSooyah~ Just looking at it, just by being under it, it gives you that feeling of happiness. Of delight most tranquil and peaceful. Yet almost lethal knowing that anytime it might go away. That you might lose it."

KyungSoo never liked rhymes, especially if he has to find reasons to it.

"But the sky never goes away, it's always there, even at night."

"Exactly. People fear that falling in love is one of the worst things that we can ever feel simply because they're scared of being hurt. But how can you..."

He pulls KyungSoo ever closer to him.

"Ever find out if that love isn't meant for you.."

ChanYeol is but whispering, not in KyungSoo's ears but almost to his lips.

"If you don't take chances."

They closed their gap with a sweet solemn kiss.

"KyungSooyah~ if you allow me, I'll let you experience how falling in love feels like."

It must've been the clear sky that day, but KyungSoo has never felt so free and unrestricted. Falling in love was definitely something he wanted, especially with Park ChanYeol.

That night, he started writing letters to ChanYeol. Letters that he never intended on sending.

~~

He opens his eyes slowly. All he sees is the white ceiling, fuzzy and imprecise from maybe having to close his eyes for a long time. He doesn’t feel his body yet. He wills his fears away as he collects all the energy he can muster to move.

He manages to jolt his toes, then gradually his fingers. His legs begin to respond and so does the rest of his body. He manages to sit up with great effort. He’s in a hospital. How long?

He scans the room for any indication that might tell him how long he’s been there. He knew why, which was good because this meant that he was sane and in his right mind.

His gasps in pain as he tries to turn his head. Something was stopping him, it was a cast wrapped around his neck. He realizes right then and there all manner of equipment was plugged to him. He felt like a marionette.

But one peculiar thing stands out from all the hospital apparatus. It was a small curious piece wrapped around his left ring finger. He observes it closer and realizes what it was, it’s a green twist tie wrapped delicately around his finger as if it were a ring. At the right side up of it was a small heart which could’ve taken a long time to fashion.

ChanYeol suddenly remembers KyungSoo. KyungSoo.

“Kyung—Kyu—“ He struggles to say the name of the only person he wanted to see. “KyungSooyah!” But no one hears him, no one comes to his aid. The small boy who is always by his side, always at his beck and call, didn’t come running. All he sees are glooms, all he hears are echoes of his encouragement. He feels that long after he walks from this ill-starred situation, he won’t be seeing the smiles he loved so much. The gentle touches and affectionate gazes. He feels he’s lost a part of him. More so, he has lost KyungSoo.

He laments most despondently, he curses the stars and higher for such a realization. He doesn’t know how, what or why, but his weakness is overriding his mind and body. He hears KyungSoo’s laughter reverberate in his chest, but instead of smiling, he cries. He has lost the person he never thought he’ll ever lose.

And he took ChanYeol’s heart with him.

--

ChanYeol I’m scared. Scared that you might forget about me. But I'm even more scared to the fact that I might forget you. I’ve never felt so alone. I miss you already. If we meet each other again and I don’t recognize you… call out to me please? Just say my name. I’ll come running back to you. I’m sorry if I can’t keep my promise to never forget you. But know this, in the past where I am in, I will love you tomorrow. Just promise me you’ll remember me.

--

~~

ChanYeol sounded so excited when he called his bestfriend and asked her to meet him in the park. Dara immediately took the small box of chocolates she had personally prepared. It was afterall the 14th of February. And even if it's been centuries already, their culture has never forgotten to celebrate Valentine’s day. A day where girls give boys, whom they liked, chocolate. And maybe this was the time to finally confess to her childhood friend.

"Yah! Yeoli! I'm here. What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

ChanYeol was a picture of sunshine. All teeth and a smile to rival the enigma of the Mona Lisa.

"I finally did it!"

"Huh? Waddya mean?"

"I finally asked KyungSoo out! He said yes! He said YES!"

Dara didn't know how to react. She wanted to be happy for her bestfriend, but at the same time she wanted to hit her head for not knowing that the reason why her bestfriend always talked about KyungSoo to her was that he was actually attracted to him.

"Oh wow. Uhm, congratulations."

She remembers the chocolates she so painstakingly prepared last night.

"Thanks Dara! This must be the happiest Valentines day ever!"

Maybe she can give it to her brother later.

"Well ChanYeol you look ecstatic. I'm glad that you are... happy I mean."

What did it matter if she spent her whole month's allowance on buying the most expensive ingredients online?

"I am, Dara! And I feel like this is all a dream!"

So what if she spent countless nights perfecting the chocolates that she was supposed to give to him today?

"Well, again congratulations! I guess you deserve it."

The box of chocolates might as well be just kept inside her bag. Like her feelings for ChanYeol, hidden and unrequited.

"Thanks Dara. I hope that you soon find the person who can make you smile the way KyungSoo does to me."

She forces a smile. She has found him a long time ago. It's him that hasn't found her..

~~

He rushes to grab his coat and wallet as he exits the house that was his home for several years. He steps outside and feels the autumn air brush his cheeks. ChanYeol hears a silent longing in the wind but ignores it. He fumbles for his car keys and revs up the engine.

It was 2090 and any trace of his accident seven years ago was all gone from the eye. But from time to time, his heart would tug his consciousness to a past he has long forgotten. He has stopped longing, stopped waiting, and started moving on.

He drives to a small town outside the city he was living in. He’ll meet someone there and then perhaps spend the rest of the afternoon relaxing. It feels good to be able to run away from it all once in a while.

His grey car hovers quietly a few feet of the ground as he let the auto-pilot drive for him. He pinches the bridge of his nose and looks at his watch. It’ll take him less than twenty minutes to get to the small village. He looks outside and notices that the sturdy steel-framed establishments have been replaced by trees and plants that weren’t native to the city. He closes his eyes and resolves repose from a week of nothing but meetings and scheduled conferences.

The vehicle stops and parks automatically at the closest vacant parking space. The door slid to the side to reveal his long limbs climbing out of it. He pats his grey suit and fastens a small maroon bow tie around his collar.

He looks at the shop in front of him and studies his reflection on the glass window. He’s matured far beyond than he cared to admit. His caramel hair sway deliciously as he thumbs through it thoughtfully. His focus was suddenly averted to the sign that was coated on the glass. It was a small jewelry store.

He enters the shop but no one is there. He surveys the different diamond encrusted tiaras and simple silver rings adorning the first row display. They sparkle and twinkle against the small light that highpoints their luster.

He walks further through the display showcase and plays his hands through the air as if he were sifting through an invisible curtain. He stops as he sees a curious item. It was a small ring with a fashioned heart at the top. It was simple yet it’s green color stands and pops out from the rest of the silver and gold items.

He curiously looks at it and realizes he’s looking at years’ worth of trying to forget KyungSoo. Nights, weeks and months of crying and begging just for him to see his love again. He breathes a mouthful and fights the urge to buy the item. He has long forgotten that one chapter of his life, and although it felt like he was trying to remember someone he didn’t know, he was able to forget him. He forgot KyungSoo. And it should be kept that way.

He composes himself and walks away. Just then, the owner of the shop enters from the back door and greets him.

“I’m sorry sir, but I’m closing early today.”

“That’s okay, I was leaving anyway.”

He exits the store and steps warily outside. He sees the owner come up to the door as if to lock it. But he stops midway. ChanYeol becomes curious as his hearts races. This familiar beat he has long forgotten has somehow made its way back to his conscious mind. He didn’t know what was happening, he was scared all of a sudden but curious as well.

The guy behind the glass door slowly steps forward to reveal a small redhead with thick round glasses. He had plump lips and milky skin. His eyes were as wide as the day is long. But his expression was despondent.

--

ChanYeol, please miss me. Even just once. Long for me like I long for you. Call out my name, so I'll know it's you.

--

Is he, could he be?

ChanYeol takes one step towards the door, but stops. He sees a small green twist-tie wrapped around the ring finger of the other person’s left hand. Then it struck him.

His eyes widen as tears begin to brim his soul and being. His breath becomes an irregular rhythm with his heartbeat. Seven years and it has come to this. Seven years and he’s finally found him. He’s finally found KyungSoo.

“Yeoli!”

He spins around and sees a woman and a child. The child was running towards him.

“Daddy! I missed you!” The kid throws herself at ChanYeol and showers him with kisses. He hugs the kid and carries her in his arms.

“Yah, Yeoli, why didn’t you call to tell us you’ll be here earlier?”

“I—“ he’s conflicted. His pain extends to the heavens that dutifully crafted this raw providence. “I was about to call you Dara. I—I mean have you guys eaten?”

“No silly we were waiting for you. Our daughter wanted us to eat together.”

He looks up KyungSoo and sees that he is smiling at him. A modest one that could’ve broken him and ruptured the wounds he has long mended and nursed. But it was an empty smile, something given to strangers as courtesy. And maybe that's how ChanYeol is to KyungSoo, nothing more than a stranger.

“Kyu—“

The person on the other side of the door flipped the Welcome sign to Sorry We’re Closed. He walks away and disappears back inside the store, leaving behind nothing but lingering regrets and words unsaid.

--

Hello ChanYeol! It’s me KyungSoo. Do you still remember me?

--

**************************

The above is a poster I made 'coz it's boring here as hell. kkk~

I've finally finished it, and I did it here in the office.

I hope you guys like it.

Dara has more interaction with the characters here than my first fic with her, Inamorata.

BTW I watched 2NE1's AON here in Manila and it was DA BOMB. I was in front and literally like 6-8 feet away from them.

All the hurt, money lost and fatigue was worth it.

I got to see 2NE1 and Winner UP CLOSE, but not personal.

Hope EXO follow suit.

Although an OT12 is so far fetched now.

We'll miss you Kris.

Don't worry I'll make a fanfic about him to honor his time being an active EXO member.

They'll always be ONE, in my heart and mind.

I had originally intended this to be a one-shot..

But after much deliberation, this will be a two-shot fic.

So please anticipate the second part soon.

Please take care of me. :)

Vitamin and ChanSoo

is

Sarang