Patient 4 & 6 , revelations
Clearly Overdose"
-I always met her when i came back to the dorm . At first , i used to pass in front of her almost everynight. She dressed very casually and honestly i thought she was my style from the start .
She was listenening to music everytime . Without even her noticing , her fingers moved to the beat . I saw the same scene for about one month or so.
One day , i found myself in an appartement , on a sofa. The fact she grabbed my hand earlier made me loose concentration , i think .
I felt something covering my ears . She put her headphones around my head and affectionately leaned on me . She began playing with my fingers . A bit later , she fell asleep . That whole time , i..i didn't know what to think . To be precise , i didn't even have proper feelings to describe . I didn't know this girl .
The first week , i went to walk into her as diligently as i would attend high school .. And the second week she wasn't there anymore , but still i wasn't puzzled at all . That meant i had to go there by myself .
It was the most exciting thing i lived . She always took care of me , and made me feel like i had no obligations towards her . Of all the moment i lived , no matter how hard the fans screamed when they saw me , how hard they told me they loved me , how eagerly some fans claim they would sell their bodies to see me , or how others passionately told me they would give their whole body to me , none of this mattered when she opened the door of her appartement .
I always felt guilty for spending time with her . From the moment i went out of her appartement , i felt as if i didn't have the right to live with such an passionate relation with someone . Especially , when i was here because of the fans , and over time , i somewhat accepted that i kind of belonged to the fans , just like they belonged to me .
With the precedent girl friends , we used to casually talk about fans , for they were an unavoidable subject . But in front of her round face , my eyes kept shaking and trying to find some spot to focus on . I realised i was ashamed of being an idol , to have worked so hard during my life , to become an idol .
Because , quickly she became the one and only goal in my life . And for this reason , i kept avoiding talking about the fans .
Doctor cleared his voice by coughing few times and turned to Chanyeol .
-And can you tell me about the relationship between you and the members during than period of time ?
-I realised each of us kind of lived the same thing . So that's the reason to the fact there was a constent tense atmosphere surrounding us whenever we came to be all together . I mean the six of us , because our china-based members obviously didn't run into the same problem .We all understood what was going on , yet , this made us incredibly self centered , "she" became our only desire and need .
So we didn't have time to maintain our friendship bonds , even though , we didn't even think about such an idea . "Maintain a friendship" wouldn't have an proper meaning back then . But once she got into our lives , this sentence was exactly what we needed . To keep something called "exo" still going on . "
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" Kim Seonghoon entered the room , sat down. He got a pencil and a paper out of the drawer and began ticking some of the boxes .
- Patient Oh Sehun . You need to know that if there was only someone to whom you could tell and express your feelings , it would be me . Do not feel any restriction .
In response , Sehun nodded few times .
-Tell me about her , and her relationship with you .
- I'm her dongsaeng . She is a noona to me . She took care of me , really .
Kim Seonghoon wasn't even looking at him and implied by his hand movement for Sehun to go on .
- Oh ! She is as tall as me ! And she is very feminine , she always wear skirts . He marked a pause . She has exeptionnally beautiful curves . And she has fair skin . Her hair is long and dark brown . It reached her lower back i think .
- Be precise on the link between the two of you .
- She really funny so the conversation is always very light and pleasing ... Still , she didn't very often mention anything about her . She always made sure it was alright for me , and if it wasn't alright , generally by the end of our conversation , i was . I love the moment she hugs me because i feel she is the only one that could provide me this feeling .
I constently expect the moment she would push the door and enter ...hm.... Always came when Kai was tiring himself at dance .Maybe she was shy ? Because she waited for him to change room to enter . But then i learned that Jongin was busy too in the other room .
- Your relationship with the members , and , more simply , the relationship that went on between you.
-I'm the maknae , so usually , the difference gap between the hyungs and me is very noticeable . But after all of the circumstances , there was no relation left between me and them , friendship relation. Because , previously , age order allowed us to create a bond with ease .
So , all of the public events got perturbed by this ...and i remember the days where after a completed performance , not a word was uttered , and we just quietly got back to the van .
It was also very quiet in the dressing room , even the makeup artists did not dare to break the silence . I think that outside was the worst . Even though the situation at home was far more irritating , outside they were a lot of people watching us , media and fans so it was pretty pressurising .
- About member Kim Jongin ?
-We were born the same year , but he is considered as a hyung . We are really close friends in fact . I think the whole story made him an withdrawn and nervous person . We all were , kind of . But really , he would stay up all night just training , i would go with him because we used to train together before . But after a moment , we trained in the same room , but not together . Then he just randomly changed rooms . Because generally when we came , the sunbaes were already going , or only few of them were still left . And we would have finished the group rehearsal .
The girl he used to meet usually joined him there. Curiously , i never saw her . I think he never saw the girl i met too. None of us saw the other's partner in fact . That was the part that no almost nobody noticed , now that i come to think of it . However , Baekhyeon hyung is the most aware one on this subject . "
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