~ Seunghyun ~

"Appa...?"

I glance down to the small child who is walking alongside of me, trying her best to catch up with my pace with her small legs. Afraid that she might stumble to her own feet, which she is occassionally did, I watch her eyes keeps on glancing up at me and in front of her. I had offered to carry her in my arm, but the little one had refused rather stubbornly. She points out to me specifically that, "I am a big girl now, appa. I can walk on my own...!!"

Well, yes my dearest one. You are indeed a big girl now, who just celebrated her 6th birthday together with her appa and her mother who had yet to woke up from her comatose state for almost a month now. Her mother, my wife needs to rely on a life support to keep her life going. For how long, well only God knows when? 

My daughter, Choi Navi, adamantly insist to have her birthday with just her parent and grandparent in a simpler gathering in her mother ward. "I want it here, appa. And no where else!!" She had storm her feets to show her seriousness in the matter. 

"But baby, please I can make a quick reservation in your favourite restaurant..."

"No appa!!" She shot back at me, cutting off my sentences, with frustration tears flowing down her chubby cheeks. "I WANT TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY WITH YOU AND MUMMY IN THE SAME ROOM!!"

"Baby..." But I was stop by my father-in-law from any further arguement with my 6 year-old daughter who had hide herself behind her grandpa's back. "Let it go, Seunghyun. Just let her have her own way for once..."

I was too stun to say a word more with Navi outbreak. It pain me to remind how affected my sweet butterfly is to the pending divorce settlement between Chaerin and me. Both of us had tried our best, I guess to 'hide' our fail marriage whenever she is with us. And from what we can see with her constant cheerfulness and jovial behaviour, she seems to be unaffected by it but well, we are so wrong. She knows all along about our fail marriage however despite her very young age, she did not acted out. 

She become very much matured, which is unbelievable.

Navi started to notice the strange arrangements for the past few months ago, such as having 2 bedrooms in a different houses. Well, after Chaerin had drop the bomb about her wanting a divorce from me, we decided and agree that we should start to live separately. I insist that she and Navi should continues to live in our family house whilst I should move out instead. I choose to live in an apartment since my job always cause me to travel so often that it will only be a waste if I should buy another large house with no occupant to fill up the empty space. 

My job had cost me dearly - a fail marriage and a broken home for my 6 year-old Navi.

"Appa, why do I have 2 birthday parties this year?" one of the many questions that Navi had imposed on me. "Why...you got twice as much as birthday presents, baby? You don't like it, hmm?" That was my answer to her during her birthday last year and she was just 5 years-old. That was her first birthday parties that she need to celebrate twice since I could not make it during her earliest birthday party due to my busy schedule.

"Well...I did have twice as much as birthday gift than last year, I guess. But how come you did not turn up during my that party and how come mommy did not turn up yesterday?" I watch her frowning face looking up at me, while waiting for my replies. "She has something on yesterday just like I had something on during your first party."

Her frown deepen. With her eyes looking down to the floor, she mumbled. "Are you gonna be so busy from now onward that both of you could not be at the same place at the same time?" That comes so unexpected that it just knock me over with her bluntness.

I could no longer prolong hiding the truth from her. Without even discussing with Chaerin, I decided to confess to my butterfly.

"Navi, sweetheart. Please try to understand with what I had to say my dear." I wait for Navi to start to digest the incoming blow that I was going to impale at her young heart.

She nodded.

"First you need to know that both mommy and appa loves you so much that we will always protect you from any bad people out there. You will always be our number one in both our life and heart. You have been our miracle in our life and nothing could stop us from loving you, Navi."

I gather another round of strength to continue with what awaiting for my daughter to grasp.

"But the things seems to start falling apart between your mommy and me in our marriage. According to your mommy, which I could not agree more, that I've become someone different. That I've become too committed to my work than my marriage..."

"But you are working, appa."

I nodded to her claim. "I've become too committed that I could not seems to get away from my work commitment sweetheart. And your mommy just want what's best for you and our family. She had ask me to choose either my career or family..."

Silence.

I could not dare to look at her. I know that her face had become redder than before, either due to anger or just hurt.

"You did not choose us, did you?" I heard her timid voice asking me softly. I could not answered but just look away from her, too ashame to admit it out loud.

She starts to cry, a soft whimper. I wished that I could console her but it was too painful for me to even look at her.

"I want my mommy." I did what she asked of me. Chaerin was surprise when she had open the door to allow us in the house. Her face taut seeing the sadness shone in Navi face. "You wait me in your room. I need to talk to your appa for a while, yes baby?" She nodded sadly, not even a word had been exchange between us during the ride back home. She choose to watch the night scene outside rather than be her chirpier mood.

Chaerin turns to look at me with anger shone on her face. "Did you just break the news about us to her without my presence?"

"She asked me lots of questions, Chae. I crumbled!!" I tried to defend myself.

"That's your weakest point, Seunghyun. You do not know the first thing of being a father because you are never around to see her grow-up and not knowing how to stop yourself from her trick!!" 

I could not agree more than what Chaerin had accused me of. There are times, like always when I had felt that I am a bad father for my butterfly. I should be ashame to call myself a father to any child out there, let alone my Navi. I drowned my misery in the company of my brothers Choi Dongwook and Choi Jonghun.

"Hyung, you are not a bad father. Don't let Chaerin noona bring you down with her majesty judgement...as if she is that good of a mother to Navi..." exclaim my youngest brother, looking piss by the minutes with my soon-to-be ex wife accusation. I watched my eldest brother Dongwook smack his head for his thoughtless words. The younger Choi brother seems wanting to retaliate but I was quick to pull him back.

"Stop fighting, ok." The 2 men agreed with my request. To Jonghun, I asked, "Why did you said that?"

"If she think she is a good mother, she will not even gave you that ultimatum question of who should you choose - career or family. Didn't she knows that it is her father who insist that you to take over their family business in the first place? What a hypocrite..."

"But still Seunghyun should at least knows how to balance between his career and family." Dongwook explains to the youngest Choi brother before turning to me, continue to say, "I think it is time for you to start showing your commitment in Navi life. It is not too late, bro."

From that day onwards, I heed my eldest brother advice. I promise to myself that I will try to make times for my family, especially for my daughter and if I could hope so, maybe I could change Chaerin mind to not going on with our plan to divorce. My daughter was so happy to see me often than before. As for Chaerin, she also confessed that she was indeed happy with the changes in me but her decision remains still.

"This is not about you not around much for either me and Navi anymore, Seunghyun. With our separation, I could finally see the thing that I have been missing out during my times being your wife."

I know her so well. It has not been enough for her with what she had in hand. She always aim to have more in life than stopping for a simpler one. She is very ambitious person and such a passionate person too. The 2 most important reasons of why she is just so right for me.

"I understand, Chae. And just so you know this, no matter what had becomes of us, you will always have me supporting you in anything you wants to venture in. Believe me, will you?"

She nodded. "Of course. I could always rely on you in almost everything else. And I am so sorry that things did not work out between us...our fail marriage."

Truthfully, I just hated to hear her keeps on repeating to say of our fail marriage in almost every conversation that we ever had this past few months. Because, not that I could not accept the fact that we are both heading for the direction of divorcement, I am just a proud man that it does hurt my ego the truth of my broken marriage.

It has been my mission ever since, to prove to Chaerin that our marriage is not a fail one but vice versa. With the car accident that had cause her to lie lifeless with the support of a machine, maybe it comes with a blessing for me to further on with my mission. I am not truly happy with her current situation and I would hate most to take advantage of her like this, but I could only be thankful to God who present me with this 2nd chance to grab to what I almost lost forever.

I believe in 2nd chance. And this is the 2nd second that I should take on.

"Yes Navi?" I cast my eyes away from her chubby face and ushered her to take the seat facing the hospital fountain. We are on our way to visit Chaerin in the hospital. Dr Lee Hong Ki, the doctor in-charge of Chaerin's case, had called me over to discuss of my wife condition. I know what it is that he wants to discuss with me - the possiblities of switching off the life support machine that keeps the chances of Chaerin to stay alive. He had in numerous occassions had told me that the chances of her to come out alive is very slim. "And she might takes time to remember her past life Mr Choi."

"Are you saying that she had lost her memory?" 

Dr Lee shake his head. "Not really. It is just for a while. The correct term is mild amnesia. She will regain back once she have gather her full strength."

I nodded and sigh a relief. "Well, that's just a strong reason for me to not to switch off that life support, doc. I will not switch it off no matter."That had been the end of the many discussions between us. I even make a large donation to the hospital as a token of my gratitude for heeding my wish. 

"Appa...will you do what that funky doctor said?" I guess Navi had her own way to know things like this because for sure, I am not the person who had inform her of any discussion that I had with Dr Lee. And her reference with "funky doctor" might be with the doctor habit of colouring his finger nail. Most people will find him wierd, as much has been express by my in-laws. They had insist that I've change to another 'normal' doctor. But I ignored to their request. Because both Navi and I trust this funky man as a doctor who will revive my wife, for reason I could not fathom. It is more to my instinct that tells me to trust and keeps on believing this man to carry out his duty as a doctor.

I kneel in front of my daughter who in return place her chubby hands at the side of my face. I smiled at her cute serious face. "I will never give up on your mother and eventually our family, baby." I could not resist as I lean forward and kiss her cute button nose. She is a totally replica of her mother great beauty.

"Meaning to say that you will not switch off  that thing, appa?"

I could only nod my replies. Because words had failed me.

Please read the story description first as to know the condition of our dearest Lee Chaerin. 

And as you can see that I have listed out that Choi Dongwook (Se7en) as Seunghyun eldest brother and Choi Jonghun (FTisland) as Seunghyun youngest brother. Also Lee Hong Ki as a doctor who will be playing the major part in reviving Chaerin.

Next chapter will be update...pretty soon...stay tune.