Tao has been working all day and he feels that his body is going numb. He looks lazily at the people who are walking by the bookstore. He looks at the board and no… there’s nothing new in here since last week, “Waiting for my home. Please, come back to me.” and he knows that Baekhyun wrote that.

 

Tao doesn’t erase this because he’s afraid that Baekhyun might not write on the board like he used to, he wants to see Baekhyun’s handwriting everyday. He wants to memorize how each letter is made by his beautiful hands. He wants to know all about Baekhyun and it starts to rain.

 

And now that Kyungsoo is in the store now, Tao knows that Kyungsoo will go out to look for Baekhyun and enjoy the rain together. Knowing that, Tao wants to enjoy the rain together with Baekhyun now.

 

As Tao expects, Kyungsoo goes out of the store immediately and starts to let the rain soak him. Kyungsoo is fumbling with his phone to contact Baekhyun until Tao holds him by his arm, already soaked in the rain. Kyungsoo’s eyes get bigger when he sees Tao. Before Kyungsoo is able to tell a word, or rather scold Tao, Tao says, “Let’s find Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo can see in Tao’s face that he is determined to see Baekhyun.

 

Tao is dragging Kyungsoo to look for Baekhyun. They search through the end of the streets but no Baekhyun is found. Tao now worries about Baekhyun, and of course, it’s the same with Kyungsoo. Tao asks Kyungsoo, “Where can you find Baekhyun in times like these?”

 

Kyungsoo puts his hands on his chin to think, but he shrugs, “On the streets…” Kyungsoo answers helplessly and is already shivering in cold. He sneezes and sniffs and Tao does the same. Kyungsoo looks at Tao and sees that Tao is struggling so he tells, “Tao, I think you better go home, it’s so cold and you’re only wearing your uniform and you’re soaked!” Kyungsoo now shouts because Tao is running away to look for Tao.

 

Kyungsoo, with his short legs, tries to run after Tao whose legs are long enough to leave him behind. Kyungsoo runs his hands on his hair in frustration of having short legs, he cannot catch Tao. And he’s sure that Tao won’t stop until he sees Baekhyun.

 

Tao’s legs and lips tremble as he rests his hands on his knees and catches some breathe. He looks around and looks for Baekhyun but no Baekhyun can be seen. Tao, even though it will weaken them and doesn’t know if he really can do this, forces his eyes to travel around to look for Baekhyun. He closes his eyes and rides on the wind to travel to where Baekhyun is. And there he sees Baekhyun in front of a café, holding an umbrella to shelter him from the winter rain, but Tao knows that Baekhyun is only using the umbrella to hide his tears.

 

Tao finds this strange because, as far as he observes Baekhyun, Baekhyun doesn’t care if the people see him crying. He’s done it many times that Tao wants to protect him from his tears. Tao then goes back to his senses and even though he’s freezing in cold, he runs and goes to where the wind shows him where Baekhyun is.

 

He smiles as he sees Baekhyun still looking at the café. He fastens his pace and when he holds Baekhyun on his shoulder, “Baekhyun…” he falls to the guy. Baekhyun’s eyes circle in horror as he feels the cold body of Tao covering him. “Tao…” Tao can hear… he smiles because Baekhyun remembers him.

 

Tao wakes up and finds himself in an unfamiliar room. Tao sits up weakly and scans the room. He looks around and sees the beige room with little and clean furniture around. He looks at the bed and sees a book on it. He reaches for it and scans the cover.

 

It has Baekhyun’s picture pasted on the cover. Tao smiles at how beautiful Baekhyun’s smile is, and he hopes, he can see that smile someday. He is about to open the book when someone opens the door which cause Tao to toss the book to where it was before.

 

And to his surprise, he sees Baekhyun carrying a tray and walking towards him. He blinks and recalls what happened and the twirls and swirls eat him and spin him around like a wheel. He sees him, running to Baekhyun and Baekhyun is surprised that Tao collapses in front of him.

 

He stands the collapsed Tao up and gets a taxi. Tao just watches the taxi disappear and suddenly, without his permission, the wind travels him to where the taxi is to watch how Baekhyun taps his cheek to make him awake.

 

And when the taxi stops, the wind stops and Tao knows what happens next. Tao goes back to the time and sees Baekhyun in front of him, blowing a spoonful of porridge that, Tao thinks, Baekhyun cooked. Baekhyun gestures to Tao to eat the porridge but Tao, shyness strikes him, moves backward and insists that he should feed himself. And without any other say, Baekhyun gives the spoon to Tao. And Tao misses his chance and forces the time to goes backward… even for a short time.

 

Baekhyun scoops a spoonful of porridge and blows it, cutely, as Tao can see. Tao feels happy inside but can’t help as Baekhyun feeds him, he cannot see any emotions through it. But what Tao can expect? Baekhyun barely knows him, or rather, Baekhyun can think that Tao is a stalker or what. Baekhyun doesn’t know that Tao knows Kyungsoo and JunMyeon. And Tao is sure that Baekhyun knows that YiXing knows Tao so maybe, that’s the reason why Baekhyun opened his door for him.

 

Tao cannot take how Baekhyun does this so he holds the spoon and tells Baekhyun that he’ll feed himself because he knows that he can. Baekhyun obediently gives Tao the spoon and stands up.

 

 Baekhyun walks to the window pane and watches the snow falling down the ground. “Why are you looking for me?” Baekhyun sounds like he’s interrogating Tao and Tao can hear it.

 

Tao looks at the spoon he’s holding and tells the truth, “I was looking for you. I mean, WE were looking for you.” Tao says so that Baekhyun won’t think that he is a stalker or something, and for Baekhyun to know that there is still someone who are looking after him.

 

Baekhyun looks at Tao and an eyebrow, “You?” Baekhyun crosses his arms and Tao can see that Baekhyun doesn’t want someone telling him what to do in life. So Tao plays safe, “I and Kyungsoo. We’re looking for you.” Tao sneezes.

 

And Baekhyun softens. He thinks of Kyungsoo, “Where is Kyungsoo?” he asks then. Tao shrugs and doesn’t know and he can see that Baekhyun is worried. He risked his life for me again. Baekhyun shakes his head as he thinks that Kyungsoo is becoming a hard headed person.

 

So Tao forces the wind to travel again to search for Kyungsoo, he goes with the wind where Kyungsoo is and sees that he’s with JunMyeon in the car, probably looking for Baekhyun.

 

Tao tells to Baekhyun for Baekhyun not to worry, “He’s with JunMyeon hyung, they’re looking for you.” Tao says and Baekhyun looks at him asking “How did you know?” Tao smiles a little and tells a lie, “I just think that probably, it’s what they’re doing because they do it all the time whenever it’s raining.” Tao tells to Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun, hearing it for the first time, is surprised about what Tao is telling him. Baekhyun gulps as he realizes that “You’re not yet alone…” Tao says and Baekhyun is taken aback. Baekhyun looks at Tao. “Your friends are still here for you. I’m here for you.” Tao confesses but Baekhyun doesn’t accept it but he nods and understands.

 

Baekhyun walks to Tao and asks him if he can walk because he’ll be taking Tao home. Tao nods and Baekhyun helps him to walk and he falls to the ground epically that his face kisses the ground. Baekhyun laughs a little but it becomes music to Tao’s ears. Tao looks up and sees Baekhyun covering his mouth while his eyes are smiling.

 

Tao laughs too because as he falls to the ground, he falls in love with Baekhyun too. Baekhyun helps him to stand up and tells Tao sit down for a while. Tao sits on a chair and scans the room once again. And he sees himself in the mirror, eyes puffed like he’s not yet sleeping yet he’s sleeping during work.

 

His face is pale and he bets that it’s because he collapsed a while ago. And he averts his gaze to the picture beside the mirror. He looks at the person and bets that, “That’s Chanyeol.” Baekhyun walks in the room and walks to the mirror and gets the picture of Chanyeol.

 

“Park Chanyeol.” Baekhyun smiles and Tao is hurt. Baekhyun is in pain, just like as what others do; Baekhyun now smiles for others and not for himself, to let others know that he’s strong; that he’s not hurting.

 

“You look like stupid.” Tao scolds and Baekhyun is taken aback. His surprised eyes look at Tao and Tao continues, “Don’t hide your tears from me. I’ve seen it many times. In front of a shop, in front of the bookstore, under the rain, on the streets where you always bump me and never apologizing afterwards.” Tao tells as he recalls all the times where he saw Baekhyun crying.

 

Baekhyun bows his head in shame but Tao doesn’t let it, “Don’t be shy. I’m lucky, I always see your tears but Kyungsoo and JunMyeon haven’t…” Tao says as he remembers what Kyungsoo told him one time: “I haven’t seen him cry since Chanyeol left. Or maybe the raindrops are hiding those. He’s being strong for us…”

 

Then Tao asks Baekhyun, “Why don’t you tell them? You can tell them everything becau--“ Tao doesn’t continue to what he’s saying because Baekhyun is shaking his head no. “Then you can tell me.” he says instead which makes Baekhyun look at him.

 

Baekhyun smiles a little but enough to make Tao’s heart beats so fast. Baekhyun shakes his head but tells Tao to tell Kyungsoo or JunMyeon that he wants to meet them. Tao calls JunMyeon and tells what Baekhyun wants to say. Tao can hear in JunMyeon’s voice the shock and excitement.

 

Tao and Baekhyun go out of his apartment and wait for the car of JunMyeon. And when the car arrives after five minutes, Kyungsoo immediately goes out the car and hugs Baekhyun tightly. “I’m so scared I won’t find you this time.” Kyungsoo is about to sob but Baekhyun, unexpected to Kyungsoo, rubs Kyungsoo’s back to not worry for him. Kyungsoo hugs Baekhyun tighter that the latter can barely breathe.

 

JunMyeon smiles at how wide Kyungsoo’s smile is. He goes out and tells Tao to hop in the car but Tao is busy smiling at Baekhyun. JunMyeon blinks at strange actions of Tao and nudges him on the side so that Tao would wake up.

 

Tao looks at JunMyeon and JunMyeon says, “Go in the car. I’ve been telling you that earlier but you’re busy.” And with that, Tao, as obedient as he is to JunMyeon, goes in the car and sits on the shotgun seat with JunMyeon being the driver and Kyungsoo and Baekhyun in the back.

 

Kyungsoo keeps on talking and asking how Baekhyun is since this is the first time Baekhyun seems in their world. Baekhyun only looks at Kyungsoo and gives him only brief answers. Tao looks at the two at the mirror and smiling by himself, he’s relieved that Baekhyun is not crying this time.

 

JunMyeon glances at Tao and sees him smiling. He looks at the two guys at the back and smiles because Kyungsoo is relieved now that Baekhyun is by his side. JunMyeon stops the car in front of a restaurant and tells, “Let’s eat!!” he happily says as he goes out the car and the three follows the oldest.

 

JunMyeon is ordering something and Kyungsoo is talking non-stop. Baekhyun is staring at the window and Tao is staring at Baekhyun. JunMyeon, after ordering, notices this and nudges Tao on the side. Tao looks at JunMyeon confusedly and JunMyeon whispers, “You’re creeping him. Don’t stare like that.” JunMyeon warns.

 

And as if Tao knows Baekhyun, he whispers back, “I bet he can’t notice me. He’s busy counting the snow that falls down the ground.” Tao says and sheepishly smiles. JunMyeon lets out a laugh and lets it go.

 

Then Kyungsoo asks, “Tao, how did you find Baekhyun?” Tao answers, “I… look everywhere to find him.” Tao says and thanks himself because he nearly tells the truth. He shakes his head because he suddenly goes dizzy. Smiles flash through his eyes… a heart-shaped one, an angelic one, and a genuine one Tao is longing to see. He sees Kyungsoo and JunMyeon singing together with unknown voices Tao hasn’t heard of. But there is one voice that he recognizes the most… it is Jong---

 

“Are you okay Tao?” JunMyeon puts a hand on Tao’s shoulder and Tao pats it and smiles to let the older know that he’s fine. JunMyeon blinks at Tao and sees that Tao is pale so he tells Tao to rest for the day after they get dinner. Tao nods because he needs it anyway.

 

= = =

 

Tao kneels down the ground as he cleans the grave of his brother. He hums as he gets rid of the snow and ice that got stuck on the edge of the grave. Flashes of Kyungsoo’s and JunMyeon’s smiles go in his head that makes him smile more.

 

After cleaning MinSeok’s grave, Tao tells what happened to him these days and months, Tao doesn’t know and doesn’t care what time of the year it is. All he knows is that he is helping someone not to suffer more by moving the time.

 

“I’m willing to wait for him hyung…” a pause and he introduces his new found love, “… I will wait for Baekhyun.” He ends it with a sigh. He wishes that he can see that Baekhyun will love him in the future but… whatever he does… nothing flashes. And it’s the future that will happen no matter what, thus, it hurts Tao so much.

 

But he believes, if he can change the past, he’ll change the present and eventually, the future will change. Tao thinks about this after having a good time with Baekhyun this week. Having a good time means having Baekhyun by his side ONLY… because Baekhyun keeps on talking about that PARK CHANYEOL.

 

He closes his eyes and pushes the time backwards to where he met Baekhyun for the very first time. And there Baekhyun is, sitting in front of the board on the bookstore, crying. Tao takes the courage to be ready of what will happen if he does this. He steps forward and searches through his pocket the handkerchief he brought only for Baekhyun. Baekhyun is crying on his knees, mumbling the same name breath after breath, “Chanyeol… chanyeol…” And Tao is hurting. He’s tired of hearing that name which indicates that Tao cannot have a future with Baekhyun.

 

He takes the risk and walks closer to Baekhyun, faster than earlier and he is about to give the handkerchief to Baekhyun but suddenly, a tap on his shoulder makes him go back to his senses. Tao looks up to find JongDae.

 

JongDae lets a small smile tug on the corner of his lips. Tao eases himself and moves aside for JongDae to sit with him. And silence wraps them.

 

Tao fumbles and pouts at his fingers while JongDae is smiling at MinSeok’s grave. A sigh is heard and the silence now breaks, “How are you Tao?” JongDae asks and looks at Tao. It’s been a long time since they saw each other. And it was on MinSeok’s funeral as far as JongDae can remember.

 

Tao smiles a little at JongDae and answers, “Fine, because I met someone who--“ he suddenly stops to what he’s saying when he realizes that he’s never told anyone about his life: about his brother, about JongDae, about him,, while the others,-- JunMyeon, Kyungsoo, Luhan, Sehun, YiXing, and Baekhyun --, he knows every little detail about their friendship. And it suddenly saddens him, realizing that no one has ever bothered to ask him about his life.

 

JongDae waits for Tao’s next word but eventually, Tao doesn’t continue. So he asks Tao, “Why?” JongDae asks, now putting an arm on Tao’s shoulder. Tao looks through the eyes of JongDae.

 

And there he sees JongDae, alone, in his room all day. He sees JongDae walking alone to his work and to everywhere he goes. He sees JongDae crying alone without anyone soothing his painful experience of losing MinSeok. …Please take care of JongDae…

 

JongDae blinks at Tao whose tears are about to fall. Tao sobs and JongDae rubs his back even though he doesn’t know what the exact reason why Tao is crying. But he somehow senses that it has to do with his husband, MinSeok.

 

But he is wrong when he hears Tao’s reason, “I’m sorry JongDae hyung…” Tao sobs and JongDae blinks at why Tao is apologizing to him. “I’m sorry. I’m not rubbing your back while you are crying over my brother. I am letting you feel alone knowing that I’m still here.” Tao feels guilty.

 

And when Tao says that, JongDae shakes his head, “No Tao. I should be the one apologizing for not taking care of you. As your brother, I should take care of you like MinSeok. I shouldn’t let you feel like it’s your fault because it’s mine. Sorry Tao. It took me a long time to visit your brother because I… was so depressed that he’s not here with us anymore. But I almost forgot, you are still here. We’re a family Tao.” JongDae tells Tao which makes Tao cry more.

 

Tao hugs JongDae and cries on the older one’s arm childishly. “I won’t leave you alone Tao.” JongDae says and Tao nods, promising what the older one said. “I will always be here like your brother.” JongDae continues and Tao is wrapped in Jongdae’s arms.

 

Tao is dreaming happily that he doesn’t miss MinSeok that much anymore because his hyung JongDae moved in with him so that they have each other when times of loneliness come. And JongDae’s lips tug a big smile as he is sitting on the green grass. Where? Tao cannot see because it’s all blurry. When? Tao doesn’t know but he’s sure that it is not winter because of, of course, green grass which JongDae is sitting. But Tao doesn’t mind now as long as he knows that he can protect his hyung JongDae and can take care of him. And it’s the same for JongDae.

 

One day, JongDae invites Tao for them to grab lunch. Tao immediately tells JunMyeon about it. “JunMyeon, I’ll be grabbing lunch with my hyung.” He asks permission to JunMyeon who is busy arranging papers for the financial documents of the store.

 

When JunMyeon hears what Tao said, “JunMyeon…” JunMyeon repeats and Tao confusedly nods. “JunMyeon?” JunMyeon now looks at Tao, and Tao can sense a little anger or whatever in JunMyeon’s voice. “JunMyeon?!! No ‘HYUNG’?” JunMyeon now stands up and tosses the documents away and it scares Tao. This is the first time he sees JunMyeon angry.

 

Tao blinks and moves backwards. JunMyeon shouts once again, “JunMyeon only? No hyung?” he asks Tao again. And Tao understands now and is about to explain that he forgot to call him hyung but JunMyeon cuts him, “Why? Who is that hyung that you met and the reason why you’re not calling me hyung anymore?! Tell me!!” JunMyeon shouts at him.

 

“He’s my hyung. Elder brother!” Tao shouts because if he keeps calm, he thinks that he can never explain to JunMyeon the reason. And hearing Tao’s answer, Junmyeon falls silent… “E-elder brother?” JunMyeon repeats and Tao nods. “Y-you have an elder brother?” JunMyeon asks, surprised.

 

Tao rolls his eyes because of course, how would JunMyeon know when they don’t ask him about his personal life. Tao nods and puts his hands by his waist, “Yes. Elder brother, the husband of my brother.” Tao shrugs and JunMyeon’s eyes circle in shock. Tao expects this but not this early so he chuckles.

 

Then JunMyeon walks to him and apologizes because now he knows that he should be familiar with Tao’s life from now on, because Tao is familiar with his life. And he is considering Tao as his little brother.

 

Tao chuckles and asks once again, “Now, can I go out with my hyung, hyung?”

 

But JunMyeon says, “No.” Tao blinks at JunMyeon’s answer but he slowly smiles as JunMyeon says, “Unless I’m going with you guys.” JunMyeon pouts cutely and Tao nods excitedly. JunMyeon cleans and arranges the files on his table.

 

JunMyeon offers his hand to Tao and Tao happily claims it. As they walk out the door, they meet Kyungsoo who is reading the writing on the board with Baekhyun writing it. Tao reads, “Chanyeol, I will wait for you. Please come back to me.” it says.

 

Tao looks painfully at Baekhyun who is reading the word Chanyeol again and again on his writing on the board. Tao gulps as he takes in the pain that Baekhyun is still in love with Chanyeol. He looks at JunMyeon who looks at him too. JunMyeon can see that Tao is hurting because he can feel the way Tao feels.

 

JunMyeon loves Kyungsoo who loves Kai.

Tao loves Baekhyun who loves Chanyeol.

One-sided love is sure painful.

 

JunMyeon puts an arm on Tao’s shoulder which indicates that they should go now. Then Kyungsoo calls them, they turn around and Kyungsoo asks where they are going. “Grabbing a lunch with hyung.” Tao says. Kyungsoo thinks that the hyung Tao is referring to is JunMyeon so he puts his hands on his sides and scolds JunMyeon, “And you don’t bother to invite us huh JunMyeon?!!” Kyungsoo looks like he’s scolding JunMyeon.

 

JunMyeon shakes his head frantically and defends himself, “No, no. I’m not the hyung Tao is talking about. It’s his hyung. His elder brother.” JunMyeon explains and Kyungsoo nods, a little flushed. Kyungsoo looks at Tao and his eyes wish to invite them too.

 

Tao sees this and chuckles. He laughs and gestures the two to come with him. Kyungsoo skips happily to Tao and JunMyeon while Baekhyun, unexpectedly listening to them, walks with them quietly.

 

They hop in JunMyeon’s car and the seat is like the usual when they go out together, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are in the back seats, JunMyeon is the one who is driving, and Tao is on the shotgun seat. Tao stares at Baekhyun again.

 

Kyungsoo rubs Baekhyun’s back to soothe his feeling of missing Chanyeol, again. But Tao can see it, Baekhyun is slowly going back to what he is before, a walking corpse, only waiting for him to die because he’s waiting for the dead. And Tao wonders, Does Baekhyun know that Chanyeol is dead? Tao looks at JunMyeon. And JunMyeon notices this and asks Tao what the problem is. Tao shakes his head because probably, this is not the right time to ask that especially when Baekhyun is with them and not in the mood to share.

 

Tao tells them to stop at the cemetery and the three are bound in puzzlement. They blink at Tao and Tao just shakes his head and smiles. He gestures to them to follow him. He looks around and he can see his breath on this cold weather. “I’m going to meet him here.” Tao tells them and the three don’t know what to feel, scared? Or confused?

 

Tao walks to his brother’s grave. Tao places his hands on his pocket and introduces the three to his brother, “Hyung, these are my friends, JunMyeon hyung, Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun.” He tells the grave and the three soften. They suddenly feel lumps on their throat and they gulp but it goes back right away.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes glisten in tears, he remembers JongIn. He buries his face on JunMyeon’s shoulder and sobs. Tao rubs his eyes because he cannot contain the sadness he feels now that Kyungsoo is crying over the dead too. He has lost someone too.

 

Then Tao looks at Baekhyun, wondering if Baekhyun can remember Chanyeol’s funeral or anything that he can see to realize that Chanyeol is already dead. Baekhyun stares at the grave sadly. And Tao thinks that Baekhyun doesn’t know or doesn’t accept that Chanyeol is dead.

 

Tao sighs and looks around… JunMyeon now blinks at the grave, “Kim MinSeok?” he reads what’s in the grave. Tao looks at JunMyeon and nods. “Kim MinSeok?” JunMyeon repeats, and Kyungsoo and Baekhyun peek at the grave and it give them shocks.

 

“Kim JongDae?” Kyungsoo says and blinks. Tao looks at Kyungsoo, “You know JongDae hyung?” he asks and someone calls from behind. Tao turns around and smiles. He waves excitedly at him and calls him, “JongDae hyung!!” he greets.

 

As JongDae walks to Tao, he recognizes the faces of Tao’s company. His eyes circle and his heart feels elated when they run onto him and hug him in joy. “JongDae!!” they greet each other.

 

Tao goes to them smiling, even if he doesn’t know what’s going on. “Oh my god Tao, they’re my friends since middle school!!” JongDae explains and JunMyeon nods. Then JongDae takes Baekhyun by his shoulder and Baekhyun can’t help but to smile a little because he must admit, he misses JongDae too, But I miss Chanyeol more. “And this!!” JongDae points to Baekhyun as Baekhyun struggles to breathe. “This is my best friend too. haha!” He introduces and Tao can’t help but to smile because the gap between him and Baekhyun are getting smaller and smaller as time passes by. He can feel that he has a chance.

 

= = =

 

Tao is getting depressed because whatever he does, Baekhyun doesn’t smile. He does all the things that make him stupid in front of the people when Baekhyun is around but Baekhyun doesn’t spare a glance at him. He does all the things that make him funny in front of their friends but they’re the ones who are laughing and telling Tao that he is too childish and cute for that, but Baekhyun is just staring at nowhere. And it ing . Tao just pouts everytime, no, all of the time that Baekhyun is not minding him.

 

But because Tao loves Baekhyun, he tells himself that Baekhyun is minding him also, sometimes: When Tao goes to Baekhyun’s apartment where Baekhyun shows him a book (that Chanyeol gave him). : When Baekhyun always talks to him… (about Chanyeol)

 

Baekhyun does this every time Tao comes in his apartment and Tao just wants to curse Chanyeol for being in Baekhyun’s heart and mind even though he’s not here anymore.

 

Tao tries to tell Baekhyun the truth many times but the time just pulls him to the future where he can see himself shouting at Baekhyun who is crying so hard. He doesn’t want that to happen so he just lets it go and cannot tell Baekhyun the truth. He sees this every time he tries.

 

= = =

 

Tao is eating with JongDae in the kitchen when Tao asks about the friendship of JongDae and Baekhyun. And Tao learns that Baekhyun is good at singing, as JongDae says. JongDae compliments at how easy for Baekhyun to hit high notes but JongDae hits the higher ones. Tao also learns that Kyungsoo is also one of them who are singing in every program their school held.

 

Tao learns that, probably, JongDae is one of the members of the group of JunMyeon because he can see how JongDae smiles whenever he tells a story by story that had happened with them when they’re still together. Then Tao thinks that maybe, JongDae knows Chanyeol.

 

So he asks, “Do you know what happened to Chanyeol?” And JongDae looks at him, and it seems that their conversation is getting serious now. JongDae straightens himself up and nods, “He died…” JongDae says and Tao nods. Then Tao tells JongDae what he can see, “And looks like Baekhyun doesn’t want to believe that his Chanyeol is already dead.” JongDae softens.

 

“It must be really painful for Baekhyun to believe in that. Chanyeol is his true love.” JongDae tells Tao and Tao is willing to listen. “I’ve seen how they become lovers and I must tell, their relationship is almost perfect. When there is one who is wrong, in their relationship, they have allowance for mistakes and eventually, they will learn the right one together.”

 

JongDae continues after a pause, gathering his self up to remember what makes Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s relationship perfect. “They are always together and they respect each other. They won’t judge one without enough proof and not consulting the other one about it. And look, they even made their dreams come true into one.” JongDae refers to the bookstore and Tao nods for he knows what JongDae means.

 

“And it really gave me a shock that one day… boom, I heard the news that Chanyeol is dead. And I expected that Baekhyun will be sad, but not this long. He’s been dead for almost one year yet Baekhyun is still like that.” JongDae notices, and Tao pouts and nods as he thinks of how miserable Baekhyun was when he first met Baekhyun.

 

Then JongDae cautiously asks, “Woah woah woah, how did you meet them by the way? I was surprised you’re with them when we’re about to visit MinSeok.” Tao smiles and gets ready to tell his story.

 

“There is a bookstore where I always go whenever I don’t have anything to do. I always see Baekhyun there, reading and writing expressions on the board. I met JunMyeon in a café, and it’s a coincidence when I met Kyungsoo, Sehun, and Luhan in that bookstore, they know JunMyeon who owns the store now. Kyungsoo asked me if I need a job and I took it and became a guard there. I became closer to JunMyeon because I can see MinSeok hyung to him. And he told me to take care of Baekhyun from then on.” Tao explains and JongDae nods at every sentence Tao is saying.

 

“It’s really meant to be that you should be with them. The world did every single way for you to meet them all. Baekhyun, Luhan, Sehun, JunMyeon, Kyungsoo… and I think you know YiXing?” JongDae concludes and Tao laughs which indicates that it is a yes. JongDae laughs with Tao and wonders, “And I wonder why you have to meet us all…” JongDae smirks and Tao wonders too now that JongDae tells that.

 

Tao blinks and thinks of the reason why he met these people who know each other, and are best friends. Then his thinking stops when JongDae tells him, “If only you meet Chanyeol. Ohh! I think you two would go along together.” JongDae softens and Tao is curious of what kind of person Chanyeol is that Baekhyun is in love with him until now. So Tao asks JongDae who Chanyeol is.

 

JongDae declares, “Chanyeol is tall, he is taller than you. He is very outgoing and he smiles always. Chanyeol is kind but not to the point that he’ll be stupid. He seems like he always knows what is right and wrong that’s why everybody likes him because we can trust him. He won’t tell secrets unless it’s necessary. And even though it can’t be seen, he will help you eventually. But Chanyeol…” JongDae pauses and thinks of the only flaw Chanyeol has… “Chanyeol always keeps secrets by himself and Chanyeol is the person who will mind your problem too. He’ll be very affected and will help you if you get a chance to share your problem with him. And that makes him not to take care of himself anymore. He always forgets about himself.” JongDae tells and Tao nods. He somewhat understands now that Chanyeol is an important person in the group…

 

“But Baekhyun is the one who made him realize that so it’s came out good and Baekhyun also helps him because he wants Chanyeol to smile. As long as he sees Chanyeol smile, Baekhyun is happy, Baekhyun will smile his sweetest.” JongDae says and Tao suddenly feels jealousy for JongDae saw Baekhyun’s smiles, the real ones. And now, not yet seeing the smile of Baekhyun, he thinks that Baekhyun is really unreasonable for not to move on and be depress every time.

 

“Baekhyun is waiting for nothing…” Tao suddenly thinks aloud and JongDae is taken aback that Tao says that thing which is… True. Tao notices JongDae looks at him and continues, “But I-I’m waiting for him everyday.” Tao says and buries his head between his arms, “…that it kills me.”

 

And Tao wonders when he can see Baekhyun’s true smile. Someday, he thinks, but he wishes that someday will be soon. He forces the time to take him where he can see Baekhyun’s true smile but it just weakens him. Darkness is all he can see.

 

And it hurts him. Am I never going to see Baekhyun’s smile? Am I not enough for him to make him smile? He closes his eyes and he hears a raindrop falls down the water.

 

But he doesn’t know, it is his teardrop that is longing to come out since he loved Baekhyun.