Chapter 4 - Literally Falling for you

F.T. Island Dorm Life

-Jonghun's POV-

We went into Hongki's room and he locked the door.

"Yah, do you think we should tell them.?"

"Jonghun, what do you think? We are the oldest amongst them and we're actually doing something that is considered "wrong." What do you think?"

"Aww, c'mon Hongki. we're not the only ones you know..."

"Talking bout Jaejin aren't you? Well,i guess you could say that..." Hongki said and looked me in the eye.

He came over and pushed me against the door.

"Why do you always have to top me..?"

"Because, Jonghun-sshi, I am more manly than you are..." Hongki said and my ear.

I shivered a little. He looked at me again and slowly leaned in for a kiss. It feels nice..

 

-Minhwan's POV-

We played a while more while we waited for Hongki hyung to come out to cook for us.

"Oh looks like their out~" Seunghyun-sshi saidd. "Yah, Hongki hyung. it's not nice to keep someone waiting you know. Poor kid's waiting for you to cook."

"Seunghyun-sshi.. it's ok.. i mean.. i'm not really that hungry.." I said softly then my stomach grumled.. Aigoo..... >.<"

"You still say you're not hungry. Keke. Minhwan-ah. Take care of yourself ne?" I nodded back at what Seunghyun sshi said.

"Ahh, mianhae, we needed to discuss something important just now. Do you want me to cook Minari? I can cook up alot of things. Like, The Hongki Ramen. The Hongki rice. etc etc."

"Yea, The Hongki this and The Hongki that." Jonghun hyung's sarcarstic joke is funny somehow. kekekekeke..

"Anything's fine hyung.." I said shyly.

"Ahh, look at you, so cute~! unlike Seunghyun and Jaejin here ne? Always requests for certain food. Hmph~" Hongki hyung said and went to the kitchen with Jonghun hyung and started cooking.

Seunghyun sshi stood up andsignal for me to stand as well. I didn't know that i sat for too long till my legs are numb, so when i stood up, i couldn't stand properly and nearly fell. >.<

Luckily, Seunghyun sshi caught me in time..

"Yah, you ok, Minari?" I looked up at Seunghyun sshi, nodded and looked away.. I didn't want him to see me blush....

Then Jaejin hyung stood up andwanted to say something but i guess his legs got numb too because when he stood up, he fell over and push Seunghyun sshi... And at the same time, I looked up to Seunghyun sshi.. He accidently............... >//<

 

-Seunghyun's POV-

When Minhwan stood up, he nearly fall, so i caught him before he fell. Then when Jaejin stood up, he hit my head and my head went forward and my lips accidently touched Minari's lip...

"Yahh. Minhwan, Minahae.. Jeongmal mianhae..."

Minhwan didn't reply and just looked away.. His whole face was red.. He looked so helpless.... It was that moment when I realise that... I think,..

I think I might have fallen for him.....

Aigoo... what will my parents think? What will Hongki hyung and Jonghun hyung think? What will Jaejin hyung think? AIgoo.......... >.<

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choijonghyunsaranghe #1
Chapter 16: I cried T_T
DKimLittleGoddess
#2
Uhhh... I don't get it. -.-; You're what seems to be 'plot' and the whole story is completely different. There's a lot to point out but I'm gonna comment what I remembered.

You're writing style is kinda... off. There was a lot of unnecessary smileys everywhere and too much use of 'kekekeke'. If your characters are happy, you can always express it in other ways like, 'He chuckled, "Blah Blah Blah." Then smiled.' instead of using that laugh too often.

And the story was too fast paced. The days were continuous and a lot happened like they did this and that and immediately saw Wonbin, etc. Wonbin's last five minutes was wayyy too fast. You didn't even wrote what happened during the analysis and just injected him with a 'killing medicine' whtver that's called. ~.~;

And as I've said, the plot and the whole story is different. It ended with Wonbin dying? I thought I'm reading about F.T Island's Dorm Life focused on SeungHwan. I was expecting that they do things like this and that with Minhwan but then it shifted and focused on Jaejin and Wonbin's story. -.-; And whatever happened to SeungHwan after they discovered they were childhood friends? -.-;

And how can Minhwan magically knew that Wonbin is sick? O.O; He inherited this from his mother... Okay. But he immediately knew it was stomach cancer? Whoa... *O* But this is a 'fic' anyways, so it's acceptable in a way.

Sorry if I sounded harsh. I'm not being mean or anything... ^^v You can improve, definitely! :)

We can help you at http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/206930/f-a-i-r-y-t-a-l-e-s-r-e-v-i-e-w-s-h-o-p-open-review-reviews-fairytales

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/193138

We give honest and useful reviews~ <3
YourRemedy #3
Waeyo!? Why did you kill wonbin? Why? T-T<br />
anyways, I love it!<br />
paranoidfreaker
#4
Oh my~~ Wonbin you're sick?????<br />
TT^TT
paranoidfreaker
#5
new reader here!! wah~~ i think i love your story.. just update soon.. and i hope wonbin don't do anything that will hurt jaejin..<br />
^^
asdfghjBullySong #6
cliffhanger .. i hope wonbin will not do anything to our jaejin :))
SHINee2MinLove #7
@kihyunkit; haha! :D ne, thank you very very much!! :D
asdfghjBullySong #8
eheheh i love your pairings and the story :D so cool :D update soon :D
SHINee2MinLove #9
@kihyunkit; haha((: ne, i will update asap. :D gumawo for reading!!!^^<br />
@FT123456; hehe, thanks for reading too. ;}
FT123456 #10
Aww.. Jinnie gonna be sad ><