“I call not telling $uho” Kei said, holding up a sign that read “$UHO”.

 

“Is that a visual accompaniment? What’s with the flashcard?” question Kai, staring at the paper.

 

“It’s so you know the proper way to write his name. ‘Cause you know, he’s my suga daddy. My Joonmoney. Pimp daddy $uho.”
    

“Hey when $uho kills you can I have your sign?” Called Nel from where she sat behind the sofa. Kei scoffed, flipping her bright red hair.

    

“You know very well that $uho can’t kill me, he looooooves me.”

 

“I’m so sorry honey,” Kai began in all seriousness, placing a hand on her shoulder. “$uho doesn’t date outside his own species.” Kei turned and swiftly kicked Kai solidly in the crotch, then plopped dejectedly on the couch with a sigh as the other dropped to his knees with a howl.

 

“Am I that bad?” She whimpered, crawling into the corner of the couch sobbing about being single. Nel’s hand came up to pat her head comfortingly, but she didn’t shift from her position behind the sofa.

 

“While Kei is having a moment, what are we going to do about the vase?” Kris asks, turning to the rest of the members that were present in the situation.

 

“We should probably call $uho,” Nel suggested, being one of the only sane one’s in the room save Chen. Kei, her head still buried in the couch had her hand raised holding up her “$UHO” card.

 

“Work, minions,” Kris commanded, grabbing tossing the card at Sehun, who caught it haphazardly before the corner of it hit his eye.

 

“NO!” screeched Kei. “MY PROP.” Nel pulled another one out from underneath the sofa and handed it to her. Kei looked horrified. “You monster. How did you know about my stash?” The room was silent, two people staring at the “$UHO” flashcards, before Sehun flipped his over.  

 

“Hey, is this his phone number?” Kei’s eyes widened, attempting to grab the card back. Kai and Sehun grinned evilly at each other, before hugging each other around the shoulders in one synchronized motion.

 

“SCORE!” they shouted, and ran to the corner where they hurriedly dialed the number. Kei snatched the card back.

 

“Mine,” she hissed, clutching it to her chest.

 

“Too late,” whispered Kai, putting the phone on speaker as $uho picked up.

 

“Hello?” His voice rang out, causing Kei to hide her face as it turned slightly red.

 

“, hang on, we didn’t plan this out,” muttered Kai.  

 

“Plan what out?” asked $uho, a suspicious tone entering his voice. A low G flat major chord resounded through the room. “What was that?” $uho asked, terrified at the possibilities.

 

“Who left Yixing unattended at the piano?” hissed Chen as he woke up from his nap. The group turned to stare at him, just as his head slipped downwards, his forehead hitting the keyboard on the way down. $uho couldn’t have possibly missed the sound of five notes, directly next to each other, get hit and the jarring sound caused a dead silence in the room.

 

“Hey peasants,” said $uho, tone dark. “Explain.”

 

“Did I ever tell you that pissed off $uho turns me on?” Kei purred quietly so the latter couldn’t hear her.

 

“KEI! THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT,” barked Chen, covering Sehun’s ears. Kei shrugged before sending Sehun a flirty wink. Luckily, the other was looking in the direction of the piano.

“Guys,” he whispered. “I think Yixing is asleep.” A finger poked Yixing’s cheek.

A tall, elf looking boy nodded solemnly when the other didn’t stir.

  

     "Yeol says he’s asleep,” sang a voice from behind him, and a short, round faced boy came skipping out from behind him. His cheeks puffed out when he caught sight of how little food was left on the table, namely one pretzel. Seeing his expression, Yeol pulled out a box of strawberry pocky and handed it to the boy. A smile lit up his face, and he bounced onto the sofa next to Chen who had sat back down with his laptop.Kei on the otherside of Chen, in her original position of sitting upside down.

          "That’s it. I’m coming over,” $uho replied, hanging up the phone. The ringer dial rang through the room, causing silence everywhere. Nel broke it.

 

          “You guys are so ed,” she commented nonchalantly. The sound of a page turning echoed through the silent room.

 

          “Wait, what do you mean you guys? You were here too,” said Kai.

 

          “Yeah, but unlike you I’m not stupid enough to get roped into officially joining this club. Which means he can’t actually do anything to me.”

    

          “Or me right? Because he loves me? Right? RIGHT?” Kei asked hysterically. Yeol silently placed a hand on her shoulder. Kei paled. “I think I need some air,”  She turned slowly. “Nel, let’s run.” Without asking consent she grabbed her friend’s hand and began heading for the door.

    

          “SHE’S ESCAPING! SOMEONE STOP HER!” Cried Kris. On cue, $uho opened the doors running into Kei. Kei fell into $uho’s arms dramatically, and Nel fell backwards onto her .

  

          “You know, Kei, sometimes I really don’t like you. How are you going to repay my bruised ?” Nel got up with a huff, and walked out the door. “I’m heading to the library. Later losers.”

    

          “Ew,” said Kai. “Who still says that?”

    

          “I do,” whispered Sehun next to him. Kai gave him a shocked look.

    

          “I have been neglecting your education, young one.”

    

          “We’re the same age,” Sehun deadpanned. Kai looked him up and down, then shook his head.

    

          “I still don’t know how you ended up like that.” Sehun kicked him.

  

          “Why am I getting hurt so often today?” Kai whined, clutching his shin.

    

          “That’s cause you’re a little !” shouted Kei from across the room where she had scrambled out of $uho’s arms, face flushed red.

  

          “No, honey, you’ve got that wrong. I am the .”

  

          “Yeah,” snickered Sehun. “Literally.” Suddenly, they both froze. Slowly, the followed the path of $uho’s eagle eyes as they landed on the pile of shattered china, then watched as they traced their way to where the vase originally stood, and therefore to Yixing. They narrowed.

          “We’re so sorry Yixing,” whimpered Kris, because there was nothing, nothing they could do when $uho was truly angry

---

A/N:

PIka: YAAAAAAAAS

Ramencholy:  Yehet.