C H A P T E R 5 ;

The snow had stopped falling, yet the earth was still covered in the white icy powder. The house had fallen silent, growing quieter with every passing day. It dwells deeper into a dark and hungry shadow, as does its owner. Chanyeol lays motionless in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. His hair had grown long, passed his shoulders and covering most of the top part of his face.

He slowly sat up, moving his legs over to hang off the edge of the bed until his feet touched the floor. He looked out the window, watching the tall trees branches sway in the soft breeze of the evening. The sky was pure white due to the forever roaming clouds. Chanyeol lazily rose from the mattress, shuffling over to the window, his feet pushing against clothing and various books he never bothered to pick up or put back in their place. He placed his hand on the numbing glass, though it didn’t bother him.

His mind wondered. He looked below to the two deer’s scrunching their noses in the snow in search of discarded food.

"They look so peaceful, don’t you think." His mind was playing tricks on him again. Baekhyun- or what his psyche made him see- was standing next to him, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He turned to Chanyeol, his face turned straight, almost with a hint of sadness. "Why, Chanyeol?"

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door, but the sound echoed loudly in the large, reserved room. Chanyeol turned from the figment of his imagination and towards the door.

"Chanyeol, Kyungsoo has dinner downstairs. I know you’re hungry by now so…please come downstairs tonight." Luhan tried to keep his worried tone hidden but it was all too obvious. When he didn’t hear a response, he laid his forehead on the dark wood door. "Chanyeol, it’s been three years. Stop hurting yourself. For all of us, you included. What if he knew you were doing this to yourself because of him; because of what you decided was best for the both of you but it’s just killing you instead?"

Chanyeol heard Luhan’s footsteps disappear down the hallway. When he turned back to where his fabrication of Baekhyun was supposed to be, he was gone.

”Why, Chanyeol?” It ranged in his head like a pounding headache. I can still remember his voice.

Chanyeol doesn’t know when he got like this. In his eyes, he was perfectly fine the first year in Baekhyuns absence. According to Luhan, he slowly stopped eating regularly after that point, and then, after eighteen months, he was down just a few meals a week.

Chanyeol came to the realization that he stopped eating because he wanted to feel weak. Without his three times a day intake of animal blood, he turned frail. Blood gives them their strength. Human blood is supposed to last for almost two days, but since they try not to hunt humans, they have to drink animal blood at least three times a day to keep up their strength.

Chanyeol wanted to be weak because that’s exactly what he was- a weakling, a coward. His powers had reduced significantly; he’d be lucky to get even a flicker of fire light from snapping his fingers.

He had completely pushed himself into a tortoise shell. He was buried in his own depression and it was killing him. 

He'd thought about just it up and trying to think nothing but positive thoughts but he couldn't. Something strong and heavy was preventing him from getting over this wretched slump. It was more than just the fact that he missed the human or that he loved him, it was something else.

"What is it," Chanyeol whispered, "making me feel so horrible?" 

"I think you're looking for the word 'guilty'." Kyungsoo walked into the room, carrying a brown wool bag. He made his way to the others bed, sat the bag on the nightstand, and found a spot to sit. "When you mix unconditional love with stupid decisions and guilt, you're bound to feel like for three years." 

"Who said it was unconditional?" 

"Yeah, now that I think about it, if it was unconditional you wouldn't have let him go in the first place." Chanyeol could have forced the latter out of his sight to end the conversation but he made no form of resistance. "How long are you planning to wait, Chanyeol?"

He didn't know. He didn’t know why he hadn't left to retrieve the human a long time ago. He was tired for so long of feeling like this so why hasn't he stepped foot out of the house yet? He had asked himself for months what was holding him back...then it hit him.

"I don't know....if he wants to come back. What if I go there and he's perfectly happy with his life? What if he has the new life he's always wanted?" 

"Baekhyun may have wanted a new life, but in the end he wanted you to be included in it. So without you in it, it's just an empty life." With that, Kyungsoo left, his response lingering in the atmosphere.

It’s just an empty life without me...without you in mine.

Chanyeol sat up, looking over towards the bag Kyungsoo left on his nightstand. He reached out, grabbing it and placing it on his lap. Chanyeol figured it was just another attempt to get him to eat rabbit again, but what he pulled out was wrapped in clothe and smaller in proportion to the usual rodent. On top of it was a note:

Don't ask. 
Just in case you changed your mind.
-Kyungsoo

Chanyeol furrowed his brows. Growing curious, he unwrapped the cloth to find something that made his eyes widen some. It was a heart- a human heart. It didn't take him long to realize why Kyungsoo had given this to him. It almost brought a smile to his somber face. Thank you.

Chanyeol drank the fresh blood from the vessel; a single thick, crimson streak sliding from his mouth. For the first time in years, Chanyeol smiled.

Chanyeol, body restored to its former healthy state, descended the staircase in a partial hurry. His sudden appearance surprised the other members of the household. Kyungsoo, who was ridding the table of that night’s dinner aftermath with Jongin and Luhan, felt a presence he hadn't sensed in a long while. The smaller released himself from his duties and rushed over the other, cutting Chanyeol off from his path to the exit. The other two kept a short distance from them.

Kyungsoo looked over Chanyeol carefully, there were many things he had thought about uttering to the elder, but he had to be mindful the situation- Chanyeol could still be in a vulnerable state despite his physical appearance. "Where are you going?" He asked the only words he deemed to be safe to say.

Chanyeol withheld his response longer than he had thought. Kyungsoo was about to repeat himself when Chanyeol finally answered, "I'm going to get him, Kyung." 

It took a lot for Kyungsoo not to smile at the reply, which only worked for about two seconds. The same for Jongin. Luhan had started to grin when Chanyeol had made his first appearance outside of his room. 

"Are you going to be okay going by yourself? Do you want company?" Jongin asked as he made his way closer to Chanyeol. 

"No it's fine. I can go on my own."

Luhan glided over to the other side of Chanyeol. "You don't want to wait until morning to leave?"

"It'll be morning by the time I make it there." Chanyeol then turned to Kyungsoo, "Got any left overs?" 

Kyungsoo smiled again, "Always." He replied. Jongin followed to help prepare a package of food.

Luhan looked to Chanyeol, I thought the heart would have been enough for you to last a few days. Are you still feeling weak?

Chanyeol smirked and tilted his head towards the latter, I'm guessing Kyungsoo and Jongin don't know about the heart. 

I'd rather them not know. Our little secret?

It wouldn't be the first.

Chanyeol completely turned to face Luhan, "Thank you, Luhan. There were a lot of things I wouldn't have gotten over without you. I-"

Luhan pulled him into a hug, cutting his speech off shirt, "I love you too, Chanyeol." He pulled away once Kyungsoo and Jongin had made their way back over, "Now go on." 

Chanyeol took the wool bag from Jongin, heading over to the door to pull his long black coat off of its perspective hook. He noticed a few spots of collected dust, figures, he thought to himself. Chanyeol opened the door rather slowly as if he had never used the thing before. When he stared into the nature before him, he knew that it was much different from just the view he got every day from his window. Chanyeol felt the cold on more than just his palms, it spread all over, from between the hairs on his head to through the threads of his pants. It was blissful. 

Giving one final glance over his shoulder to his friends, Chanyeol nodded his head and shut the door. As he speed through the still snow, the only thing on Chanyeol's mind was the almost faded memory of Baekhyun's face. Soon he would be able to refresh his memory and never let it slip through his mind again. 

I'm coming...I'm finally coming for you.

It was just the crack of dawn when Chanyeol saw the village over the hill top. There was hardly any snow left on the ground but the chilly air was still there. Chanyeol decided to walk it from there just in case any human were to be lurking outside of the gates.

It didn't take long for him to reach the gates. Once he was let inside, he made a hastier pace to the furthest house in the back of the fairly small village. The house was surrounded by a brick wall covered in nature that made it up to his shoulders. He pushed the gate open and closed it back once he was inside. At that moment Chanyeol realized something, he had no idea what he would even say to Baekhyun. The entire trip there all he could think about was the human but it never crossed his mind what he would actually say to him. 

"Hey Baekhyun. It's been a while hasn't it? I've finally come to my senses and decided that keeping you out of my life wasn't helping me, but just making immortality all the more awful. Will you accept my apology and come back to me?" 

Chanyeol shook his head at the thought. This was stupid. He shouldn't have to say anything, right? Him finally doing this and coming for Baekhyun should be enough to convey his feelings right? Chanyeol didn't know. Eventually he decided to just wing it. 

By now, he had made it to the door. He lifted his hand up to knock, though he never gave Joonmyeon the kindness of knocking before. This was all too different for him. He put his hand down and reached for the door knob but before he could get a hold of it, the door flung open. When Chanyeol lifted his eyes he was almost disappointed to see Sehun standing before him. 

"Oh hey, Chanyeol. How's it going? Haven't seen you in a while." Sehun asked, not at all confused to see the older.

"Hi Sehun." Chanyeol went passed the latter and into the living room, unconsciously looking around for a certain individual. "Is Baekhyun here right now?" 

Before Sehun could answer, Joonmyeon and Jongdae emerged from nowhere and were now infront of Chanyeol. 

"Chanyeol? When did you get here? Why are you here?" Joonmyeon immediately asked. "Not that we don't enjoy your company or anything. Just surprised at the sudden visit."

"Yeah. I thought you specifically said that you weren't gonna come back. What's up?" Jongdae interjected.

Chanyeol backed up to give himself some space from the two who cut between him and sehun. "Is Baekhyun here or not?" 

Joonmyeon pointed to the back of the house. "He's out back, but he's-" 

Chanyeol didn't wait to hear what joonmyeon had to say. He made his way to the back door that led to the back yard. He opened the door with a small but meaningful smile on his face. He was finally going to see his face again...after all these years, he was going to hear Baekhyun's soft voice and hold him in his arms, never letting him go again. 

Chanyeol slowly felt his short lived fantasy of the future die. Once he stepped into the back yard, he saw Baekhyun. He saw him, but with a very small child and a women. Baekhyun was laughing as he and the women played with the child in the snow. 

Everything slowed down for Chanyeol. He couldn't hear anything but Baekhyun's laugh, the one he hasn't heard for three years. But for some reason it didn't make him happy to hear it. He wasn't happy to see that males smile for the first time in a long time. He wasn't happy at all. But he wasn't angry. He was right back where he started: heartbroken. 

Chanyeol backed into the house, slowly closing the door. When it clicked, he laid his head again the door, watching the outline of the three in the back through the curtain in front of the window. Chanyeol wanted to pull it back, to see his face again, but the pain clawing at his chest prevented him from doing so. 

Chanyeol, started to walk back to the main room of the house muddled. He was in a complete daze. He wasn't able to see anything but the short scene in the backyard. He didn't stop until he was back in the living room. 

"Chanyeol? Are you okay?" Joonmyeon walked over to him, taking hold of the elders shoulder. The action brought Chanyeol out of his state but caught him off guard a bit. Chanyeol pushed Joonmyeon too hard away from him, resulting in the latter hitting his back against the couch, almost falling over. 

"Chanyeol what's wrong with you!?" Jongdae exclaimed, him and sehun going to Joonmyeon's aid. 

Chanyeol didn't do anything, he just stood there, still taking in all that he witness. He had to leave. "I'm sorry." With that Chanyeol left. He reminded himself to keep walking until he was out of the village and at the top of the hill again. Chanyeol turned around one last time with tears b in his eyes. All he could see was Baekhyun's smiling face as he turned around and headed back home. I'm sorry I ever decided to come back. 

A/N: Hey guys~ Been a while hasnt it? Hope you enjoyed this chapter even though its a bit short. Sorry if i made Chanyeol a bit too depressed, I was too lazy to change it so...wala~. Summer so far donkey balls dipped in depression. I've starting working for the summer so ill be pretty busy during the day and- god knows why but- my teacher decided to give us rigorous homework over the summer so it might as well not even be summer for me but an at-home detention. Pray for me TwT. Comment, subscribe, upvote if you havent. Goodnight~~