Howon arrived at Infinite’s dorm and lied on the bed. He took his bag and read the letters the fans passed to his manager. He opens it one by one and read it all. It was somehow his routine everytime the schedule ends.

A part of him was overwhelmed by how much love he was getting from the fans but a part of him was hoping, among all those letters there would be a letter from Jihye.  He has been doing it eversince he debuted and he has never stopped hoping. 

“Yah, Howon-ah, your turn.” Sungyeol threw his towel to Howon as soon as he entered the room.
“Reading fanletters?” He asked.

“Erm.” Howon said.

Sungyeol rolled on the bed trying to fill in his time, trying to sleep, trying to wash away the boredom he’s currently in. However nothing was working. Nothing at all.

“Yah, whats up?” Howon asked.

“I’m bored. Yah, don’t you want to go out?” Sungyeol said.

Dongwoo entered the room while playing with the game again. Howon was still wondering what kept all of s so hooked up over a really ridiculous game. Howon wasn’t paying attention to what Sungyeol was saying as he was judging Dongwoo when he entered the room.

“Did you hear me?” Sungyeol asked.

“He was deaf cause he was busy judging me playing this game.” Dongwoo took a glance at Howon and laughed.

“So what? You’re too addicted with that game. Its a really stupid game and you know that.” Howon replied throwing his clothes at Dongwoo.

“YAH! Look ! I lost! Oh my God! I swear to God I hate you the most.” Dongwoo weeps on the bed.

“You were saying?” He lift an eyebrow and shift his attention towards Sungyeol instead of talking to Dongwoo.

“I said lets go to Dongdaemun.”

Howon was silent for a moment. He looked at Sungjong’s face and smiled. He got ready without taking bath and walked out with Sungjong and Dongwoo.  They decided to just take the cab because they think its alot of hassle to use the subway. Anyway, they don’t even know if they even have transportation card now. They usually travel with their manager together with the other members. They don’t even remember the roads to take to go to one place to another.

“So, what time do you guys want to go back?” Dongwoo asked.

“I don’t know. It’s still considered as early here in Dongdaemun. Who stops shopping here? This is shopping heaven!” Sungjong said.

“Hahaha, Yah. Lets get in.” Howon said.

They were glad that they managed to disguise normally, out of odds and they tried so hard to not look so obvious. He knew being an idol gives you the vibe to just wear the best outfit no matter how simple it is. 3 of them wore dull colored clothes and wore specs instead of wearing face mask or shades. Anyway, its night time, what kind of person wears them at night.

They were hanging out and no one actually realized they were Infinite since they looked, normal. They shopped for shoes and clothes. Honestly, although Howon do wear branded items but there is nothing as lively as buying the non-original ones with sellers, so eager to promote, energetically pursuing them to buy. It just seemed much more realistic on how life works. We are all desperate to earn money. We are all desperate to make a living. Desperate to not go on empty stomach on the next day. Although it looked like they’re dying to promote but, it looks so lively to Howon. He likes the feeling, he likes everything he sees right now. 

He was approaching another shopping complex with Dongwoo and Sungjong after they shopped at apm. As they were entering, someone pulled Howon’s hand.

“Hoya oppa!” The girl said.

Howon was stunned, surprised and didn’t know exactly how to react. Politely he let go of the girls’ hand and bowed before going away. He pushed the two members infront of him in order to move faster and they hurried their footsteps so that the fangirls would lose them in the crowd. As they were walking to look for clothes and bags, Howon remained silent.

“Yah, are you okay?” Dongwoo asked when he realize Howon was acting rather strange. “You seems weirdly quiet to me.”

“Yeah, suddenly.” Sungjong added.

“Me? No. Maybe, I guess.” Howon was still puzzled with his own feelings. “I, um. I felt guilty for the fans back then. I just pushed her hands away and walked off.” Howon said. It was true he felt bad for the fan but, there were some other reasons why he felt bad. It wasn’t his first time doing it. It was his second time doing it.

He did the same thing before he debuted. He did it to Jihye.

After they bought some clothes, they decided to go back since their schedule starts at 12 and its already 3 o’clock in the morning. Dongwoo and Sungjong clearly had fun shopping looking at the amount of plastic bags they had in their hands. Howon on the other hand, lost his mood the moment he pushed the fans’ hand away. He only had one small plastic in hand which he immediately slipped into his pocket. He only bought 2 pair of socks because he wasn’t really into shopping after what happened.

As they were walking, Howon wasn’t paying attention to his surrounding as he only had Jihye in his thoughts. He wasn’t even looking. He walked half-heartedly and struts his way like a dead man. The 2 members were a few steps ahead of him. Without realizing, a man was walking in his way.

----

“Hello? No, I am not taking my day off.” Woobin said feeling unjust about his colleague. “Dude, I covered up 2 nights for you and you are telling me I can’t go home now just because you have a date?” Woobin said. “No, no. I am not covering up for you again man. You won’t even cover up for me when I have my day-off.”

Woobin’s colleague is really lazy. He hates him but, being the ‘kind-bin’ people call him, he keeps on covering for his colleague whenever he has a date. That was one of the reason why Woobin chose to stay single while he’s still in charge of the Emergency Unit. You have no time for anyone else because you spend your time saving countless times with too much cases. From heart attacks to 7 years old kid who had a his cheek pierced with school’s fence.  Well, he ended up pulling the fence out from the boy safely but he spent the next 5 days scolding the boy because it all happened just because the boy was trying to skip school. Whatever it is, he is not holding it up for his colleague anymore. Its too much.

“Whatever, man I am hanging up.” He was about to put down his phone.

“Yah, yah! Woobin-ah~ Bin bin-ah~” His colleague called.

“What?!” He yelled before he bumped into someone. He witnessed his phone fell to the ground and the screen cracked. Believe him, he just bought his phone 4 days ago. “!” He screamed out and picked his phone fiercefully.

“I’m sorry. I am deeply sorry.” Howon said before realizing he knew the voice and the body figure. It was someone he was fond of.  “Excuse me, do I kno-“

Woobin heard the guy wanted to talk to him but, he was in no mood to talk to that guy when his phone’s screen just cracked.

---

“It can’t be.” Howon said.

When they reached home, the other members were clearly asleep and Howon was still lying on the couch at the living room reminiscing the moments he missed. Why did he felt wronged towards the fan?  It was exactly like the first time he met Jihye. He knew the person who opened his very first fansite. She added him on his facebook. She sent him countless message telling him that she opened a fansite for him and she was hoping he would at least say thank you.

It was winter when it happened. A few hours earlier than the time it happened just now.

Woobin was walking towards the shopping mall with Myungsoo and Sungyeol. They were laughing with one another and probably had their night out the way they wanted. It was just as Howon remembered that Jihye passed by him before she turned around to reassure herself that it was really Lee Howon she was hoping to meet once in her lifetime.

----

“Woobin-ah~ Lets go to apm!” Jihye said. “This place is expensive!” Jihye said.

Woobin wanted to go to the other shopping mall because he was looking for something to give his mother as her birthday present. Well, he agreed that its expensive but why bother spending so much on your mother. He has always had that kind of time. Kim Woobin, Mom’s loyal boy, Aunty’s favourite boy, Teacher’s favourite student, Girls’ dream guy. That was all his nicknames. Very admirable, very bold and good-looking. Who wouldn’t like Kim Woobin? However, he has another nickname he calls and tells Jihye all the time. ‘Jihye’s Knight’.

“Should we? But, I really think the kind of thing that suits for my mom is in that shopping mall. Apm is your kind of style.” Woobin disagreed.

“We have this whole place Dongdaemun to shop okay?” Jihye said. “And so many time to shop. It closes at 4 oclock right? See? Its only 11 now!” Jihye said.

“Hey, I promised your mom to bring you back home safely before 12 okay?” Woobin said being the ‘Aunty’s favourite boy’ towards Jihye’s mom.

“Oh, come on. No one remembers the night they spend sleeping. Lets just let one slip and shop!” Jihye said happily.

“Jihye-yah, you’re-“ Jihye puts her finger on Woobin’s lips to shush him and let Woobin sighed. Suddenly, Jihye put down his finger.

“Woobin-ah. Is that Howon oppa?” She asked in disbelief. “It must be him! That’s his friend! Myungsoo and the other one! Erm, whats his name?” She asked while she panicked.

“Sungyeol?” Woobin asked as he knows them.

“Omg. What should I do?” Jihye froze. “What should I do!?” She panicked again. “Woobin-ah! What should I do?! Should I go to him!?”

“GO! You should go!” Woobin encouraged her.

“But, I’m shy! I don’t know what to say!” Jihye said.

“Just go! Let’s just.” Woobin didn’t finish his word and quikly pushed Jihye to make her start running towards Howon.

Howon and his friends was about to push the entrance door before Jihye quickly, unknowingly held his hand.

“You are Lee Howon, am I right?” She asked.

That precious moment when she held his hand. Those few seconds seemed to froze for her and admire his beautiful eyes as he looked upon her. His 2 other friends were already in amazement because that was their first time seeing Howon having a fan too.  

Howon held Jihye’s hand. Woobin saw everything and smiled. However, Howon pushed away her hands and it made Woobin’s smile turned to a frown. Jihye felt her heart breaking into pieces as Howon pushed away her hand and said ‘No, I am not.

 When clearly, its him. Woobin pulled Jihye away from the door as Howon and his friends walked and entered the crowds in the shopping mall.

“Let’s just go back.” Woobin said. “He was arrogant. He should have known, you are his only fan.” Woobin held her hands leading her way as she took heavy steps forcefully. “Now, can you walk properly for me? So that I can take you home safely?”

“He was shocked!” Jihye said. “I can see it in his eyes. Although it hurts when he said it wasn’t him. Just let me, send hima  message on his facebook.” Jihye said trying her best not to cry.

Jihye sent him a message...

“I saw you just now at the shopping mall. It was a short meeting but thanks alot.”

She held back her feelings but she typed another message and sent. “Why did you lie?”

----

Howon remembered that Jihye held his hand and he pushed her hands away. He was, surprised to meet the girl who gave so much passion for him. The girl who liked him when no one else does. It was an honor but because he was surprised, he wasn’t able to do what he was supposed to. He felt regretful. His regrets piled up after receiving a message from her in his facebook. He felt, wronged.