“Now what?” Kyungsoo looked around the abandoned classroom and sighed. They had all crowded into the same classroom just like any other day, but this time there was a new addition, Kim Junmyeon, the incredibly nerdy and awkward -Ed teacher. The day before Baekhyun(That little .) had gotten a club registration form from the main office and turned it in the next morning. It was soon approved and the teacher assigned to them just so happened to be Mr Kim, the low key gayest teacher in the school. No one really minded it, it was just that he was completely in denial about it.  He could be ing a dude and still say no homo. But that was that.

"Um, so I didn't have time to read the form... What exactly is this club?"

"It's, uh, a resear-"

“We’re having a gay contest.” Yixing interjected bluntly. The next moment there were nine pairs of eyeballs looking at him with either anger, disgust, or a plain old you’re-an-idiot look.

“I’m not sure I fully understand.” Suho(as he insisted they call him) stated, a general confused expression painted on his face.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to know, all you need to do is judge us and yeah.”

“Oh wait, I thought Yixing was going to judge us isn’t he like the gayest.”

“Why would I be the judge? Shouldn’t it be the teacher? He isn’t gay so whatever we do that makes him uncomfortable should be the gayest right?”

“That’s right!”

“Ha, I bet he’ll turn gay after this.”

“Wait a min-”

“Dude Yixing now you won’t be alone.”

“Yeah he’ll be with Suho hyung.”

“Eww, who’d like that old hag?”

“GUYS, I’M RIGHT HERE!”

“Did you hear anything?

“No, I think Chen farted.”

“My Chenny does not fart, period.”

“Ooooh, someone’s on their period.”

“...”

“Baekhyun get out.”

“CHANYEOL EAT !” Chanyeol turned around to see brown specks of “” on his neck.

“I knew you couldn’t aim at his face, shortie.”

“It’s okay, Uminnie~” Chen cooed at his boyfriend who pouted cutely.

“Waaahh, that ugly thing called me short!” Xiumin cried and pointed to Baekhyun who was less than happy to be called “that ugly thing.”

“I’m not ugly!” he called back, finding his giant for reassurance. Chanyeol was the only one who really understood him after all.

“I THINK YOU’RE UGLY AND NOBODY WANTS TO LOVE YOU JUST LIKE ME YOU WANNA BE PRETTY, YOU WANNA BE-”

“Shut up Chen.” Baekhyun waddles over to his respective spot under Chanyeol’s arm and scowls.

“Okay, they’re pretty gay.” Suho points to the breakfast couple just to get it over with. “Can we call this club disban-”

“Dude, his pits are sweaty.” Kai asserted, completely disregarding the flustered teacher.

“Eww.” Tao walked past them with disgust. “Have you seen my man purse?”

“You mean your man bag?” Kris walked up from behind with a shiny hot pink bag. “Hey, guess what’s behind my back?”

“Shut up, hoe don’t do i-”

“DEEZ NUTS!”

“...I’m gonna ing break up with you.”

Kris dropped to his knees and whined, “No, bae please, I’ll buy you more gucci.”

“Eh.”

“Hmm, they’re pretty gay too.” Suho

“Nah, it’s just you.”

“Wait-- I thought Suho was, uhh, what do they call it?”

“A teacher?”

“Judge?”

“Hag.”

“?”

“What? No way, why would Suho be a ? He can’t even rap.”

“No Tao, he’s just a stripper.”

“Oh, one time I think I saw him at this club.”

“Did you hear about that one gay club that opened?”

“Isn’t it called, like, XOXO?”

“We should go! Come on Suho.” Yixing sat up swiftly and linked arms with the startled teacher.

“W-wait-”

“Let’s go!” and the group rushed to the door, leaving behind a certain napping couple in the corner.

“Wow~”

“Woooow!”

“Wow wow~” the group was more than impressed with the flashy, spanking new club in front of their gleaming eyes.

“How’re we gonna get in?” Kyungsoo questioned the big group of idiots.

“Damn, security looks hot.” they all glance over to look at the said security that Baekhyun had so graciously pointed out to them.

“Yah!” Let’s just say Chanyeol wasn’t the best with jealousy.

“Chanyeol, shut up, and Suho~ Hyuuuuuung~ Get us in?” Xiumin pleaded, the rest of the members following in suit and making puppy eyes at the annoyed, but sympathetic(more like just pathetic) teacher.

“Fine,” he agreed regretfully and shuffled towards the built bouncer.

"H-hello," Suho starts. He was trying to think of scenarios that would make sense. He grabbed Kris, casually wrapping an arm around him, "It's my good buddy's 21st birthday today. How about you let us in?" He smiled with confidence. He surprised even himself; security was at least 6 foot 2 and larger than large, but somehow being with this group of idiots kids calmed his nerves.

Thankfully, the bouncer didn’t question them and let them in. They all piled in quickly, all trying to look as old as possible when sliding by the security guard.

“Hell yeah, old man!” Kai shouts out ecstatically once they’re past the entrance, patting the teacher on his back.

As the group walks through the club they could feel the eyes of older men. Although it was still 6 in the evening, there was enough people there to feel like a grimy club. It was less than pleasing for all except one.

“Yeah, that’s right, keep staring you dirty bums,” Xiumin smirked and strutted on.

“H-hyung please.” Chen whispered to him as he tried to keep his pace.

“They only want what they can’t have,” Xiumin chuckled and took a seat at the bar. “Gimme a round of tequilas.”

“Wooooah! I mean, getting you guys in here was fine, but as a responsible adult I am not going to let-” Suho’s words were cut off when Yixing poured the alcohol into his mouth and down his throat, nearly choking the poor man.

Sputtering, Suho ran his hand along the bar counter in search for a beverage to wash down the previously consumed tequila. Eventually his hand reached a glass and in one fell swoop he downed the whole thing.

“That… that was more tequila, huh?” he asked the group, his vision already growing blurry. He watched the group’s reactions carefully; they all nodded.

“.” and that was the last thing that Suho remembers saying before his drunk brain took over for the rest of the night.

“Okay boys, we meet back up at the bar in two hours.” Chanyeol shouts before hitting the dance floor with Baekhyun.

Hey, it's Angel and Sam here!

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