Chapter 1

 

Music drifted through the attic, filling it with its sad melody as a lone boy stood in the middle. Rays of light cascaded into the room from the one and only square window on the top right side of the boy, casting shadows around the empty room. Soaking up the music, Jongin lets his body take control. His hands and feet moved fluidly, sometimes quickly, sometimes slow, popping and locking whenever it fits the beat.

 

His concentration was cut off when he heard his mother calling for him from the kitchen. Switching off his Ipod, he grabbed a towel and began whipping his sweat off as he walked towards the door. Once the door was opened, he greeted by a flight of narrow stairs. Just looking at the sight that lay before him caused him to feel nauseous. “Blockers have a higher chance of dying from a fall down a fight of stairs than a non-blocker.” The line from his elementary school text book came up in his head as it usually does ever since his 12^th birthday, whenever he had to walk down a flight of stairs.

 

It's okay. Just take slow steady steps. I'm not going to fall.

 

Taking a deep breath, Jongin gripped the banisters of the stair case so tightly till his knuckles turned white, making sure to take one step at a time. When he took the last step, he breathed out a sigh of relief, making his way to another flight of stairs that led to the kitchen, repeating the earlier process.

 

When he reached the kitchen, he found his mother sitting at the dinning table as she sipped her tea, waiting for her son to arrive, as usual.

 

“There you are Jongin, I made sundubu-jjigae for lunch today.” She gestured to the food, a bowl of soft tofu stew and rice each set in front of her and the seat next to her.

 

“Thanks.” Jongin sat down and they began to eat. His father and sisters were at work and school respectively hence leaving his mother and himself at home alone.

 

“Did you finish the assignments I gave you yesterday?”

 

“Yup.” Jongin lied as he remembered the assessment books he left untouched since yesterday.

 

Throughout his final year in elementary school, things began changing. As more of his classmates gained their gifts, everyone began treating him like he was some delicate ming vase. Like he was going to break if they so much as touch him, especially the teachers, always sitting him out of class activities that are deemed to dangerous for a blocker. His classmates did not like hanging out with him on the context that they couldn't do anything adventurous without him dragging them down. Thus, slowly and surely the distance between his friends and him grew, by the time it was graduation, Taemin was the only one left yet even then, Jongin knew he was going to leave just like the rest, in a matter of time.

 

Seeing that there were already lots of complications in elementary school, Jongin's parents decided to home-school him, allowing him to receive an education that suited his needs since schools in Korea do not offer blocker friendly classes due to the fact it being rare to find blockers living in Korea. Jongin secretly knew his parents choose this for fear of Jongin being bullied or ostracized should he attend public school again with the rest of his peer. However Jongin did not need to enroll in school to feel it, he could hear the snide taunts and sarcastic remarks the teens in his neighborhood made at him. The pitying glances the parents and elderly gave as he walked by, in their heads already envisioning his funeral. His cause of death? A fall down the stairs most likely. The younger kids shrink from him, afraid that they will be like him.

 

Sick of the taunts and jibes, the sympathy from the neighbors, Jongin had ended up closing himself off from the rest of the world staying in the one place he knew he was treated normally. His home.

 

“Jongin-ah, I have errands to do later. We'll have to push back today's afternoon lesson. Is that okay? You'll have plenty of time to complete those unfinished assignments.” Mrs Kim got up and started clearing the empty plates and bowls.

 

“Sure- Wait did you know?”

 

“I'm your mother, I know things.” Mrs Kim answered matter of factly.

 

…

 

Walking back to his room to get started of his assignments, he noticed his phone screen flashing.

 

1.00p.m.

Tiffany:It's skype time, where are you??? \(>-<)/

 

Oops.

 

Checking to see that his door was closed, he switch on his computer and signed in to his skype account. Sure enough, a few minutes later, he received a video call.

 

“Gosh, what happened to you? Don't tell you were taking your sweet time walking down the stairs again.” A fuzzy picture of a pretty brunette popped up on the screen. It was Tiffany Hwang, Jongin's one and only friend. They met through an internet chat forum and soon became fast friends after they found out both of them where in the same predicament, where both of them were blockers. Though, Tiffany was definitely more positive than Jongin was. It was too bad that both of them lived in separate countries (Tiffany in San Francisco, California and Jongin in Seoul, South Korea), Jongin would have like to have met-ups with friends again.

 

“I was eating my lunch, in the kitchen, that means I walked up the stairs not down.”

 

“Don't sass me, Mr Kim Jongin and its Tiffany Noona to you.”

 

“Sorry Tiffany Noona~” Jongin pouted with excessive cuteness.

 

“Ew, forget it, I feel old when you call me Noona.” Tiffany made a face at the thought of being in her mid twenties.

 

“Heh, so how's life?”

 

“The usual, spent my whole morning typing a whole new chapter for my new book and drinking coffee. You?”

 

“The usual, dancing, eating, studying.” Jongin bent over his assignment books and began writing. “Don't mind me, just continue talking. I'm listening”

 

“Let me guess, last minute finishing up of homework?” Tiffany cocked her head to the side.

 

“Yep, so what's your new book about?”

 

Tiffany's eyes sparked up with excitement as she started rattling off. “Its about a famous actress who struggles to gain back the attention and love from her ex-boyfriend amidst all the glitz and glamour of showbiz. She tries her best to outshine the rest in hope of getting the love of her life to notice her again only to fail because he's already starting to look some where else. And the story goes on and on. I still haven't picked a title yet.

 

“Wait,” Jongin looked up from his work, confused.“Didn't they break up already, why does she want to get back together with him again? He already moved on.”

 

“Oh jonginnie, she's still in love with him! That's why she still holds on, even though they have broken up. It hurts her so much to be all alone without him.”

 

“Right.”

 

“You'll understand once you fall in love, Jonginnie.”

 

With who? Jongin peered over his computer screen to look out of the window, seeing people going about their daily lives. Children were playing and housewives gossiping each other. He remembers their pitying and uncomfortable expressions and sighs. Definitely not someone living in the same neighborhood.

 

“I'm more worried about you Tiff, you're already in your late twenties.”

 

“It's mid twenties!” Tiffany scolded.

 

“Yes, yes.” Jongin nodded solemly before continuing, “You know, sometimes I feel that I'm not suppose to be a blocker. That this isn't what I'm suppose to be.”

 

“I know, I used to feel like that too. But Jongin.....Maybe it's time to accept reality, its already been 4 years....” Came Tiffany's soft reply, she looked at Jongin concerned.

 

“I don't want to accept reality!” Jongin snapped backed only to apologize after seeing Tiffany's eyes widened in shock. “Sorry, I didn't mean to snap, I'm sorry...”

 

An awkward silence lapsed into the conversation.

 

“Twinkle.”

 

“Wha?” Tiffany said, confused.

 

“You know, for the tittle of your book. I think 'Twinkle' will suit it with the whole shining and standing out in showbiz.”

 

“Twinkle...It does fit. Thanks Jonginnie.” Tiffany gave one of her bright smiles.The awkwardness and tension from earlier slowly dissolving.

 

“Your welcome, erm I should log off soon. Got to complete my work.”

 

“Oh right, don't want to interrupt your work. Bye Jonginnie ~”

 

“Bye Tiff.” Jongin managed push out a smile for his friend before he logged off.

 

…

 

The next day, Jongin woke up feeling uncomfortable.

 

His skin tingled and itched, his arms, legs torso, neck. No matter how much he scratched, the itch wouldn't go away. Soon his body was covered with angry red lines made from his fingernails.

 

“What's wrong with you?” One of his sisters, Yuri asked as soon as she saw him entering the kitchen, clawing at his arms. His other sister, Seohyun had already left for school to settle some student council duties.

 

“I don't know....I just feel so itchy.”

 

“Is it a rash? A skin infection? An allergy?” Jongin's mother came bustling in, walking up to her son and inspecting the scratches on Jongin's skin. Concern and worry lined her face. “I'm calling the doctor.”

 

“It's fi-” Jongin began to say.

 

“No, it's not! You're going to bleed if we don't heal you. Now sit over there and wait while I call Mr. Lee. Yuri, give him some toast.” With that, Mrs Kim left the room to make the call.

 

…

 

“No signs of inflamed skin, ulcers, bumps, infections, flaky dry skin. Nothing. Aside from the redness of the skin made from Jongin's constant scratching. There's nothing wrong with him.” Mr Lee announced after the nth check up.

 

God, I needed to scratch my leg so badly.

 

“Are you sure? Jongin's attacking his skin non-stop, how can it be nothing? Can't you do something to stop it?” Mrs Kim snapped. Her patience was wearing thin.

 

“Usually, in such cases there should be bumps, infected areas that cause the itchiness. But since I can't find any on your son, I can't stop the itchiness. For now, I'll heal his raw skin to prevent further complications.” Mr Lee placed his hands over Jongin's head and closed his eyes, to concentrate. A few seconds later, his hands glowed blue. Jongin could feel a warm sensation course through him as his skin returned to its normal sun-kissed tone, the itchiness now bearable. Yet once Mr Lee was done, it flared up again. “I suggest using the old home remedies for now, placing undiluted lemon juice on your skin or taking a baking soda or oatmeal bath, should ease the itchiness if not stop it.” Mr Lee continued as he made his way to the door, stopping to whisper something to Mrs Kim.

 

“Please excuse me for saying this, Mrs Kim, but I do believe that this 'itchiness' Jongin is talking about is just in his mind. Maybe you should bring him to a psychiatrist. It could do with him being er uncomfortable as a blocker.”

 

The word sent shivers down her back. Taking a glance at Jongin scratching his arms again, a small part of Mrs Kim couldn't help but agree with Mr Lee. She never seen other children in the neighborhood acting like that coupled with the fact that she very well knew how unhappy Jongin was to be a blocker, to be different. “I'll think about it.”

 

Raising his voice again so that Jongin could hear him, he said. “Well then, I'll be taking my leave now. Call me if the situation worsens, I'll figure out away to cure his problem. Good day.” With that the doctor was gone.

 

“Did Mr Lee say something about me?”

 

“It's nothing. I'll go prepare a baking soda bath like Mr Lee said, it should make you fell better.” Mrs Kim smiled at her son, pushing away the words the doctor said. There was no way she was taking Jongin to the psychiatrist, there was nothing wrong with her son in the first place.

 

…

 

After a long soak in the bath, Jongin was feeling starting to feel better. Collapsing on his bed, he rolled over to pick up his favorite book from the bedside table. It was the picture book he received on his 12^th birthday, the one with pictures of scenery and cities. Every night, he would flip through it, imaging how it would be like to be in those places. Although, it technically was noon now, Jongin needed something to take his mind off the itch.

 

The pyramids, the great wall of China, Buckingham palace, the amazon forest, venice, Qiandao lake, New york city, etc flashed by Jongin's eyes. Until one picture caught his eye. It was a aerial shoot of Namsan Tower in Seoul, Korea, during the day and night. Smaller pictures of locks and tiles accompanied the tower. Jongin had heard his sisters squealing about those locks before, how lovers visit the tower to write their names on padlocks and lock them there forever by throwing away the key to signify everlasting love. How romantic! Both of them would always gush.

 

Closing his eyes, he imagined feeling the cool breeze hitting his face if he was there at the roof terrance of the tower surrounded by the love locks, he imagined the 360 bird's eye view he would have if he was at the observation decks.

 

Maybe it was because Jongin had awesome imagination skills but the cool breeze he imagined seemed really realistic, he could feel his hair billowing against the wind. His ears even popped from the sudden change in pressure. His plush blankets and pillow did bot feel comfy any more, in fact they were solid and cold like metal. Snapping his eyes open, Jongin was not in his room anymore but sitting on top of observatory roof.

Yelling in panic, Jongin srambled backwards and clung to the metal structures for dear life.

 

I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, I'm gonna fall, Oh dear lord please help me....

 

People from below have begun to take notice of the teenage boy sitting precariously on the roof of the observatory. Some stood and stared at the sight unfolding, some pointed it out to their friends. There was no panic amongst the bystanders since they believed it was just another flight-gifted kid taking on a dare and pissing off the authorities. Unknown to them was that Jongin was close to fainting at the seer sight of being 200m of the ground and the thought of him falling to his death in his weak blocker body.

 

I'd do anything to have the itching back than this.

 

Shutting his eyes again, Jongin wished he was back in his room, safely within the comforts of his room with his computer, books and bed. His ears popped again and the next thing he knew, he was falling-

 

onto his bed, only bounce off and hit the floor.

 

Jongin groaned as he plucked himself up. The poster of Micheal Jackson stuck onto the back of him door greeted him as he shook his head to clear his mind.

 

What the heck was that? Just a second ago I was on top of the Namsan Tower. Was I hallucinating? Yes, that had to be it. This itch is probably driving me crazy.

 

And speak of the devil, it was back with more intensity.

 

“Jongin?” Mrs Kim opened the bedroom door. “Is everything ok? I heard a loud thud come from your room.”

 

“It's nothing.” Jongin did not want his mother to start worrying about his mental health if he told her about his surprise visit to Namsan Tower.

 

“You sure? You look kind of pale. Is the rash getting worse? ”

 

“Its not that serious to be a rash mum. I'm fine.”

 

“Okay, but maybe you should rest for a bit.”

 

“Fine.” Jongin mumbled.

 

Except he couldn't. Jongin clawed at his face, feet and arms throughout the day and if it was not the itch it would be the dreams of falling of buildings keeping him awake.

 

…

 

Back at Namsan Tower, there stood a man surrounded by tourists and lovely-dovely couples milling around who watched the whole incident unfold where a teenage boy appear out of thin air on the observatory roof, capturing the attention of some passer-byes by screaming on the top of his voice. A few minutes later, the same teenager vanished just as suddenly as he appeared.

 

Taking out his phone, he pressed 1 on the speed dial.

 

“I found him.”

 

 

 

^^^^

A/n: Hi again~ So sorry for the late update. Gah D: This chapter took longer than I expected.....

Anyway, more about the chapter. It takes place 4 years after the prologue, in which Jongin is a moody boy with fears and emo feels. Erm I'll explain the whole itch thing in the next chap. Everything that happens here has a reason, I promise.... So who wants to guess whose the Mysterious guy at the end?

 

Btw, I just realize how many times the words itch, scratch and Namsan tower appear in this chapter. (Argh I hate repetitive words |:[ ) It's driving me crazy to think of other words to use....

 

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

 

Feedback is appreciated.

 

Thank you for reading :)