At first, all Zhou Mi can think is that he has no idea what to think. There is no precedent for a situation like this- and even if there was, who is to say what the correct reaction is? For his part, none of his books about Korean language and etiquette ever explained the proper response to an ex-member of your company texting you at 10:37 PM to ask if you wanted to go for a drink.

Actually if he’s being honest, the first thing Zhou Mi does is wonder why the heck Jaejoong has his number in the first place, and vice versa. He doesn’t remember exchanging phone numbers, but then there is a lot about Jaejoong he doesn’t remember. In any case, the more pressing question is what the hell is he supposed to say?

Finally Zhou Mi settles on “Where are you?” figuring it will at least buy him some time. On the one hand, he really isn’t sure if he wants to get involved in this…whatever ‘this’ is. He’s not particularly close to Yunho or Changmin, but he can’t help but wonder if meeting the man who left them would be considered an act of betrayal. At the same time, the fact that he isn’t so close to the two should mean that he has no obligation to either of them, aside from the fact that they are members of the same company. Which then begs the question, is he even allowed to meet Kim Jaejoong after the lawsuit? But that’s ridiculous, there is no clause in his contract about who he can and cannot have drinks with (at least, as far as he knows) and anyway, it’s never stopped him from speaking to Han Geng, who he knew for years, why should it stop him from meeting a practical stranger?

So when Jaejoong texts his location, Zhou Mi names a bar where he knows they won’t be recognized (it’s a little out of the way, but that’s the price you pay for fame) and promises to meet him in about an hour. He digs out a more appropriate shirt and spends far too much time trying to fix his hair before he finally heads out. He doesn’t tell the other Super Junior members where he’s going, not even Henry, because he figures that since they aren’t even in the country at the moment it isn’t any of their business. Besides, this is his choice, he doesn’t want to drag anyone else with him especially not if it means getting them in trouble. And more than anything, Zhou Mi wants to use this opportunity to get answers. Nobody was really willing to talk to him about the so called “sudden” departure of JYJ and after Han Geng’s departure Zhou Mi had been even more reluctant to bring it up.

There’s an accident on one of the roads though and Zhou Mi gets there later than he’d anticipated, and as he enters the bar he wonders if Jaejoong has left. It takes him a moment, but eventually he does locate the man, sitting alone at a table off to the side. They may not be friends, but Zhou Mi would recognize Kim Jaejoong anywhere, even if he was wearing a beanie and oversized sunglasses (indoors and at night, for crying out loud). He stops at the bar to get a simple rum and coke mix before going over to the table. Jaejoong gives him a small smile as he takes a seat.

“I thought maybe you’d changed your mind,” Jaejoong tells him. The music is just loud enough where they won’t be overheard, but they don’t have to shout across the table to hear each other.

“Traffic,” is Zhou Mi’s simple explanation. He takes in Jaejoong’s casual outfit- ripped jeans and a dark long sleeved shirt- and wonders at how perfect he can look when it’s clear that he just threw on the first thing he found. It would take Zhou Mi at least an hour to achieve that kind of look, and Jaejoong makes it look so effortless.

Jaejoong takes a drink of what looks like straight vodka- and not his first- before removing his glasses. Zhou Mi has no idea what he expected, but it wasn’t for Jaejoong to look so…good, really. Gone were the shadows under his eyes and look of perpetual tiredness that had hung over him during the days of the lawsuit, heck maybe even longer than that.

“You look different,” Zhou Mi tells him honestly.

Jaejoong grins. “I feel different.” Then he goes on, “How’ve you been?”

“Fine.”

Small talk- something Zhou Mi has never been good at. His sunny personality and famous smile is something he can only use when he knows what he’s dealing with, and right now he’s at a loss for words. He wracks his brain for something to say.

“We just finished promotions for our new album…their next comeback is in a few weeks,” Zhou Mi elaborates, before realizing that Jaejoong probably knows about the fifth album by now. Everyone does.

Jaejoong nods. “Good for them.” He says, with no hint of bitterness or sarcasm- only honest well wishing. It’s a mark of his professionalism that he can be so calm, or so Zhou Mi thinks.

“What about you?” Zhou Mi asks, desperate to not be the one talking.

“Debating if I should act in a new drama or not,” Jaejoong tells him as he leans back in his seat. “We’re planning a comeback too, but I think we’re going to wait until after Super Junior wraps up promotions. I don’t think we can compete with them.”

“I bet you could,” Zhou Mi blurts. Jaejoong raises an eyebrow and Zhou Mi falters for a second, but rushes on anyway.

“You’ve been out there for longer than they have, you’re some of if not the most popular singers in all of Asia, if anyone could take them on it’s you.” He hesitates before adding, “Well…you and maybe 2NE1.”

He’s relieved when Jaejoong laughs at the weak joke. “I’m glad you’re so confidant in us,” he says, “But that was Dong Bang Shin Ki, The Five Rising Gods of the East. Not JYJ.”

This time, Zhou Mi doesn’t hesitate. “Why should that matter? Don’t you know how badly your fans want to see you on stage again- any stage? They think that every performance brings you closer to…” he trails off, aware that he’s getting into dangerous territory. “They love you,” he continues. “Cassiopeia will do anything for you.”

Jaejoong stares at his glass for a long minute before responding. “All the same, I’d rather not go up against them.”

Zhou Mi hears the regret in his voice. If they were still assigned to the same company, there would be no question of going up against each other, but JYJ can’t avoid their former label-mates forever. At some point, they will have to compete on the same stage.

“They don’t hate you, you know,” Zhou Mi mutters, and Jaejoong sits up, giving his undivided attention now. “They might have at first, but right now they’re more hurt than anything I suppose, especially since Han Geng…it’s too much for them.”

Jaejoong rubs a hand across his face. “I thought that might be it,” he says, more to himself than anything, Zhou Mi thinks.

“I can’t speak for Yunho and Changmin,” Zhou Mi says, noting the way Jaejoong’s shoulders stiffen slightly at the mention of his former band members, “But I think the majority of SM artists would be a lot more understanding if they just knew why. And I mean the real reason,” he adds, before Jaejoong can say anything, “Not what you told the reporters, because I don’t think anyone really believes that this was about the contract.”

But at the same time, Zhou Mi can believe that that’s all it was- the contract was too long, too hard, and too demanding. He saw firsthand what it did to Han Geng- the sleepless nights, the endless schedules, the days where Zhou Mi literally had to drag him out of bed because he was just so damn tired. He listened on the phone for hours that night that Han Geng called him up in tears because he was just “so damn tired of having to pretend like he was okay when he wasn’t”. That was the part the fans didn’t see- the part that said that you could be breaking down inside, and you had to keep smiling because the fans wanted idols who were happy, not homesick and tired and scared. In the end, he thinks that’s what did it- the stress of just having to be so perfect all the time. Some people can handle it, but it just turned out that Han Geng wasn’t one of those people.

“No, it wasn’t just about the contract.” Jaejoong says softly. Zhou Mi waits, but it’s a few minutes before he speaks again.

Jaejoong leans across the table, glaring at Zhou Mi, and when he speaks it’s with a strange mix of anger and pride. “We promoted in Japan for two years,” he hisses, “Two years before we were finally considered a success. This after we worked our assess off to make a name for ourselves in Korea, and nobody told us we’d be starting out as rookies twice. We spent weeks just drilling ourselves in Japanese, for a while it was the only language we allowed ourselves to speak. For those years and even after, we were hauled across Asia, never staying in one place for too long.”

Jaejoong’s gaze grew distant, caught up in memories. “The fans didn’t see what kind of a toll it took on us. To have switch countries and languages every few months…yes, we were at one point the most popular group in Asia. We broke records, we set new ones, we came in first. But sometimes I wonder…” He trails off, sitting back dejectedly. “Changmin was only 16,” he said hoarsely. “Didn’t anyone stop to think…we didn’t know at the time that we’d be living in a different country for months at a time! Didn’t anyone ask themselves if maybe they were expecting too much from us?”

Zhou Mi listened in hopeless silence, only too aware of what Jaejoong meant. Some people would tell you that when you signed on for a company, you should go in expecting whatever they threw at you. But when you signed a contract, it didn’t give you dates. It didn’t tell you that you’d spend your birthday recording for a TV show, that you’d have to stay up for filming until 3 AM only to start the next day at 7 AM, or that you’d go live in a foreign country at 16. Sometimes you couldn’t prepare for everything.

“But you made it,” Zhou Mi reminds him.

Jaejoong snorts. “Exactly. After all that, people still wonder why we left.” He pins Zhou Mi with a glare again. “We’d already been rookies twice- do you think we would have gone for a third time if we didn’t have a damn good reason?”

“I know,” Zhou Mi snaps, then backs off when he remembers that Jaejoong isn’t necessarily mad at him, just at his situation. “I know,” he says again, softer this time. “I was there when Han Geng left.”

Jaejoong nods, swirling the ice around in his glass. “You’d probably know better than anyone else,” he murmurs. “You had it just as hard.”

Zhou Mi winces. His and Henry’s debut will forever be marred by the chants of “Only 13” that to this day echo through the ELF fanbase, and that hatred is something he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.

“I really admire you for staying,” Jaejoong tells him honestly. “You and Henry…we may not have known each other very well when we were label-mates, but I wish we had.”

Zhou Mi can’t help but feel happy to hear that. He’s admired Jaejoong for a while now, if only because he- like Zhou Mi- had been subjected to a lot of criticism and hatred from his own fans in the beginning. And yet he pushed on, and now he’s the leader of his own group and slowly but surely earning back the love of those fans. That’s something that takes guts, especially when you’re facing off against one of the most powerful entertainment companies in Asia.

“Han Geng always spoke highly of you, you know,” Jaejoong tells him, laughing a bit. “For a while I was really jealous.”

“Of me?” Zhou Mi asks, and Jaejoong shakes his head.

“Of him,” he clarifies. “He was going on about how you were so much fun to be around, and that you gave really good advice…I kept asking when I was going to finally get to meet you.”

Zhou Mi can feel the flush creeping up his neck and is glad that it’s so dark in the club.

“That’s actually why I called you,” Jaejoong confesses. “I just needed to be with someone who wouldn’t judge what I- what we- did, and Han Geng said that you were probably a good choice.”

Zhou Mi swallows nervously.

“How is he? Han Geng, I mean,” he clarifies.

Jaejoong gives him a puzzled look. “He said that the two of you were still in touch.”

“We are,” Zhou Mi says defensively, but the truth is he hasn’t talked to the man in over a week, and hasn’t seen him in almost two months. “Just…you seem to have spoken to him more recently, that’s all,” he mumbles, feeling Jaejoong’s gaze weigh him down.

“He’s alright,” Jaejoong says evenly. “Busy promoting his new movie and all that. I think he’s working on a new album as well.”

“Good for him,” Zhou Mi says, looking everywhere but at Jaejoong. He suddenly feels a need to explain a few things to the man across from him.

“We knew,” Zhou Mi says before he can stop himself. “We knew Geng was leaving, a long time before he made it public. All the betrayal and anger…or most of it,” -he amends, thinking of Heechul, who still hasn’t fully forgiven him- “It was an act. Han Geng and Leeteuk agreed that it would be better to pretend we knew nothing rather than admit that we couldn’t make him stay. They said the fans would be more forgiving that way.”

“Jungsu and Yunho are a lot alike in that way,” Jaejoong says slowly, and Zhou Mi hurries on.

“I don’t blame him for what he did, I never blamed him,” he says, hoping to god that Jaejoong understands him because at this point he isn’t sure if his Korean is even coherent. “I saw that he was unhappy…but it doesn’t mean that it hurt any less to watch him go.”

He searches Jaejoong’s face for understanding and sighs in relief when he nods. “He was so worried that you- all of you- would hate him forever.”

The question that Zhou Mi has been holding back all night suddenly threatens to burst from his lips. “He’s spoken to you about it, then?” he asks in a faux casual tone.

Jaejoong takes another drink before he answers, and he seems to be hesitating. “We have a lot in common, you know,” he says finally. “The lawsuit isn’t the only thing we talk about.”

“But…I mean…” Zhou Mi struggles to find a way to say it so that he doesn’t sound accusing.

“No, I didn’t try to talk Han Geng into leaving the company.”

Zhou Mi breathes a sigh of relief, feeling the tension leave him in one fell swoop.

“But I didn’t necessarily try to talk him out of it either,” Jaejoong continues cautiously, but Zhou Mi doesn’t care about that.

“I knew it wasn’t true,” he mutters.

“I beg your pardon?”

Zhou Mi bites his lip but figures, what the hell? He’s gone this far, and it’s not like anyone will ever know if he tells.

“When Han Geng left,” Zhou Mi says, and he puts one of his hands on the table, close to Jaejoong’s, almost taking it but stopping at the last second. He wonders if he should go on, but then he figure’s Jaejoong’s been hurt worse than this. “He and Heechul had a really big fight.”

Jaejoong closes his eyes and bites his lip. “I thought that would be the case,” he confesses. He opens his eyes slowly. “What did Heechul say to him?”

Zhou Mi give Jaejoong an apologetic look. “He accused you of changing Han Geng. He said that whatever it was that he was feeling wasn’t true, it was all just things you’d been feeding him.”

Jaejoong blinks at him. “Is that all?” He says incredulously. “Really?”

Zhou Mi nods, his confusion mounting as Jaejoong actually laughs.

“Oh thank god,” he says. “I thought Heechul would have accused me of stealing Han Geng from him. I can handle that kind of accusation,” he assures Zhou Mi, noting the other’s look of doubt, “It’s having Heechul believe I would take Geng away from him that’s really been worrying me.”

Jaejoong leans back in his chair, looking infinitely more at ease than he had been. By contrast, Zhou Mi was starting to feel a little panicky.

“Why would Heechul think that?” he asked, forcing the words past dry lips. Did Jaejoong know something he didn’t?

“Oh you know,” Jaejoong said, looking around as though to make sure they weren’t being eavesdropped on. “I never did figure out exactly what was going on between them…” he trailed off suggestively, raising an eyebrow as Zhou Mi flushed and coughed.

“Oh,” he says finally, squirming under Jaejoong’s inquisitive stare. “That.”

“Yes,” Jaejoong says. “That.”

Zhou Mi takes another drink, finishing it off and almost choking.

“Was there anything between them?” Jaejoong asks, and Zhou Mi bristles.

“How should I know?” He fires back, aware of how childish he sounds but not really caring.

“You lived with them,” Jaejoong points out.

“I suppose what was going on between them was no different than what was going on with you and Yunho,” Zhou Mi mutters under his breath in Mandarin.

“What was that?” Jaejoong asks.

“Nothing, never mind.” Zhou Mi tells him, a smug grin on his face.

Jaejoong frowns and whines at him for a few minutes, but Zhou Mi ignores him in favor of checking the time. It’s almost 1 AM.

“Damn,” he mutters. “I should probably get home.”

Jaejoong pulls out his phone and curses. “Yeah, I should too.” Jaejoong then attempts to stand and nearly falls over in the process, grabbing the table at the last second. Zhou Mi bites back a smile.

“Um, how much did you drink?” He asks innocently.

“Not as much as you think I did,” Jaejoong retorts as he tries to stand and fails. “I twisted my ankle earlier today and I can’t figure out how to walk on it.” At Zhou Mi’s pointed look he sighs in defeat. “But I guess the alcohol didn’t really help much.”

Finally Zhou Mi gets up and grabs Jaejoong’s arm, putting it around his shoulders. He keeps one hand on Jaejoong’s wrist and an arm wrapped around his waist and together the two of them manage to walk out of the bar without knocking anyone or anything over. Once outside, Zhou Mi takes stock of himself and figures he’s okay to drive them both home.

“Where did you say you were staying again?” Zhou Mi asks. Jaejoong mutters an address and Zhou Mi bites his lip.

“That’s pretty far from here.” Almost two hours.

“I know,” Jaejoong tells him. “I’ll just call a cab or something.”

Zhou Mi shakes his head and drags Jaejoong over to his car. “It’ll be hours before that car gets here,” he says patiently. “By the time you get back it’ll be dawn, and as long as you’re okay with it I have no problem with you staying at my place.”

For a half second Jaejoong looks like he’s going to say no, but then he shrugs and grips Zhou Mi’s wrist a little tighter. “If you’re sure you don’t mind…”

“I’m positive,” Zhou Mi says- maybe a little too quickly- but Jaejoong doesn’t mention it.

The ride back is almost awkwardly silent; almost, but the fact that Jaejoong is nodding off in the passenger seat and Zhou Mi is concentrating on not killing them both spares them from the need to talk anymore. When they reach Zhou Mi’s building he drives around the block once to make sure that there are no stray fangirls lurking about, but since it is late it seems that they have all gone home for the night. Just in case, he makes sure that Jaejoong wears his sunglasses and that his hat is pulled low over his forehead. They hurry out of the parking garage and through the lobby, scurrying as fast as they can past security cameras. They keep their heads bowed in the elevator for the same reason, although as Jaejoong is quick to point out, it’s highly unlikely that the people monitoring the cameras would even recognize them, much less care.

There is a scary moment when Zhou Mi accidentally knocks over a large potted plant outside the elevator (“What the hell?” He hisses as Jaejoong tries to stifle his laughter. “That was not there when I left!”) but they manage to make it to Zhou Mi’s apartment without attracting attention. Zhou Mi has barely shut the door when Jaejoong doubles over in laughter.

“You would make one very bad ninja,” he gasps before falling to the floor and laughing even harder.

“You’re one to talk!” Zhou Mi pouts. “Mister twists his ankle and then gets drunk so he can’t walk properly.”

“At least I don’t trip over foliage,” Jaejoong teases.

Zhou Mi shudders at the thought of what Kyuhyun would say if he ever found out and eyes Jaejoong critically. “What’s the likelihood that you’ll remember this in the morning?”

Jaejoong scoffs indignantly. “Hey! I’m not that drunk,” he says, pulling himself up and falling back down, his face white.

“Ow,” he whispers.

“Did you forget about your ankle?” Zhou Mi asks innocently. Jaejoong glares.

“Evaporate, tall person,” He mutters in English.

Zhou Mi ignores the comment and helps Jaejoong to his feet. He tries to lead him down the hall, but Jaejoong pulls back.

“Where are you trying to take me?” He asks.

“My room,” Zhou Mi says, and then blushes fiercely as he realizes the implications of that statement. “I-I mean, you- I was…”

Jaejoong cuts him off with a wave of his hand (nearly hitting Zhou Mi in the nose in the process).

“No, no! I’m not kicking you out of your room. I’ll just sleep on the couch,” he says, already limping back to the living room.

“Like hell,” Zhou Mi cries, grabbing his arm. “What do you think I am? I’m not going to let a guest sleep on the couch, that’s just rude!”

“I’m the rude one,” Jaejoong fires back. “I’m the one intruding- I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No,” Zhou Mi says firmly. Jaejoong throws his hands in the air.

“Fine. Fine, we’ll share,” he proclaims, gesturing down the hall. “After you.”

Without thinking Zhou Mi starts to walk and only when they are in the doorway of his room does he realize what Jaejoong meant.

“Whoa, hold on there,” he says, hanging back as Jaejoong limps inside. “That’s an even worse idea.”

“What does it matter?” Jaejoong asks wearily. “I’m sure it isn’t the first time you’ve shared a bed with someone of the same gender.” Zhou Mi hesitates and Jaejoong sighs. “I’m not going to take my clothes off or anything,” he says as he sits down on the edge of the mattress.

Zhou Mi blushes again and fidgets. “Are you sure…I mean, with your ankle and everything…it’s kind of a tight fit,” he finishes lamely. Jaejoong shoves the pillow aside and lies down on top of the sheets.

“It’s fine, I’ve done this before. And in smaller beds,” he adds evenly, leaving Zhou Mi to wonder who and what he was talking about. “And if you don’t get your boney over here, I’m going to throw something at you.”

“My is not boney,” Zhou Mi protests weakly, but Jaejoong just glares at him and he sighs in defeat. “Alright, fine,” he mutters. “Just give me a second.”

He runs to the bathroom to wash his face and change out of his jeans, and on the way back grabs an extra sheet and pillow from the closet. When he gets back to his room, Jaejoong is lying on his stomach with his eyes shut. Zhou Mi smiles fondly and tiptoes over, gently covering Jaejoong with the sheet. He then looks around the room, wondering where to leave the pillow so that Jaejoong can reach it if he wakes up.

“Oh, you came back,” he hears Jaejoong mumble and he jumps a bit, having thought he was asleep. “Good,” he continues. “I thought you’d snuck back to the couch when I wasn’t looking.”

Zhou Mi laughs weakly, embarrassed that Jaejoong could see through him so easily. “And risk your anger? Never,” he lies, dropping the pillow on Jaejoong’s head and scuttling over to the other side of the bed.

“You’re an even worse liar than you are a ninja,” Jaejoong laughs as Zhou Mi crawls under his blankets. He frowns and gently smacks Jaejoong’s arm.

“Quit picking on me and go to sleep,” he mutters, lying on his side so that he faces away from Jaejoong.

“Goodnight to you too, pouty-face,” Jaejoong tells him.

============

At some point during the night, Zhou Mi wakes up lying on his back with Jaejoong curled into his side, hugging his arm like a teddy bear and one leg thrown across both of Zhou Mi’s. He pokes Jaejoong’s side weakly and mutters about personal space, but Jaejoong doesn’t wake up and Zhou Mi readjusts the blanket so that it covers Jaejoong’s leg before falling back asleep.

============

Zhou Mi wakes up the next morning at 10:36 to find Jaejoong gone and a piece of paper with his name scrawled on it resting on Jaejoong’s pillow. He picks up the noting, noting that Jaejoong’s side of the bed has gone cold, and blinks at the unfamiliar handwriting.

‘Sorry for leaving like this, but I don’t want to wake you and I need to go before the search party comes after me. Anyway, it was nice to hang out with you. Thanks for listening and for letting me stay over. And…this is going to sound really sappy but thanks for being a friend. We should meet up again sometime. -J’

Zhou Mi grins because yes, it is the sappiest letter Jaejoong has ever written him, but also the only one and he has a warm feeling settling comfortably over him. He puts the note on the table and makes a note to text Jaejoong later.

It occurs to Zhou Mi as he’s about to fall back asleep that he never did ask Jaejoong just what the hell he was doing in China in the first place. 

[U want to get on my good side? My 'forever in love with' list? My 'I might just write for you' list? Then you will give me link to/ write me JaeMi . YES I AM CALLING THIS SHIP JAEMI. IDK IF ANYONE ELSE HAS DONE IT, BUT IF YOU KNOW OF IT THEN PLZ TO BE SHARING WITH THE FANGIRL. And if you wanna write it- I will throw myself at your feet in grattitude. Legit, I will fly to your house and kiss your feet.]

I may just write more of this myself though. Because, you know, I am going back to school in less than 2 weeks, am working on TWO multi-chaptered stories, both of which have the potential for several spin-offs, am not already wasting 3-4 hours per day on tumblr, insane and clearly just do not have enough to do!