Being a young mother, I admit wasn't really easy as you expected - especially, if you're a single mother. Now, I knew what my mom felt when she was taking care of me and my little sister, when we were still kids. It was hard to take care of your own kid, but knowing that a beautiful child was brought into your life, all of your worries and hardships will all vanish in just a snap of a finger and it'll replaced into pure happiness.

That's what I felt when Albert Joseph came into my life. My baby. My only one. My handsome son. The moment, I gave birth to him, the happiness and joy that I felt was just.. Overpowering, that I ended up having tears when I held his little, yet strong body in my arms for the fist time.

And somehow, I had a flashback of events on how all of these started -- on how I got my little Albert Joseph Jung..

Two months -- and it wasn't only me, but my best friend, Tiffany, also noticed the changes of my body. "Maybe, you're pregnant." She remarked it only as a joke, but for me, somehow, it was like.. it caught me off guard.

Nausea. Smell sensitivity. The slight growing of my belly and especially -- my period. It was already delayed for two months. Could I really be pregnant? But.. How? "What if, I am, Tiff? What if, I'm really pregnant?"

But she just laugh. She must have been thought, that I was only joking, and hell I hope I was only joking, but seriously, I wasn't. "Jessica. Don't pull a prank like that okay? Its not funny."

But I kept talking, "I'm not, Tiffany. You also noticed it, right? I have never experienced any delayed periods before. And how could you explain my nausea? And my belly.  It just kept.. Growing and growing.. Do you think, this is still normal?"

I knew that I was right, because she also noticed, but I knew that she was finding it hard to believe also. I couldn't blame her though, I was too -- it really seems unbelievable. "It was.. I don't know, Jessica. Maybe, you're just overreacting. Don't think too much, it just--"

And god. Tiffany s reasons were out of place. I couldn't help but to reasoned out, "What, Tiffany? I'm sorry to say this, but please don't play dumb. You're my best friend, most of the time, we are always together -- and you said it once, that it was weird that I'm having these.. These kind of symptoms. How could you explain, that?"

And then, her next question made me to hesitate to say some things out. "If so,  who is the father? If your assumptions are true?"

I couldn't say the name. I was afraid. What if she didn't believe me? And found it ridiculous? "Amber.." But, in the end, I blurted out her name.

And I was right, she found it ridiculous, saying how did it happen? How did Amber get me pregnant? How did a GIRL get me pregnant?

But then, once again, I spoke my side, "Tiffany. I admit. I did have boyfriends before Amber, and I never, once again - I NEVER, not even once-- gave my body to them EXCEPT -- for Amber, only. She was the first person I made love with and maybe the last. And last two months? When you guys found me in my apartment? Before that happen, Amber was there. She was there and something.. Something happened between us, that night. -- now. How could you explain that? For two months, after something happened between Amber and I, that these symptoms, just popped out all of a sudden."

Honestly, I already forgot if  ever we continued the discussion, but I remember that after that, I took a pregnancy test, just to prove if ever I was really pregnant.

It was actually a mystery for me until now. While Amber and I were still together, I admit we never forgot our lives and it happen many times, so I was clueless on how did she get me pregnant when during our relationship, we never failed to pleasure each other, and yet, I didn't get pregnant for those time that we were still together. The big question for me until now -- how?

Anyways, like what I've said, I took a pregnancy test and my assumptions was right. The pregnancy stick says that it was positive and it kind of surprised me, though.

Not in a way, that I was really pregnant, but actually when I saw the two vertical lines, I felt in an exact opposite way. I didn't freak out, but instead, I felt.. So calm, and in an odd way, I didn't feel scared, but I was ecstatic. I was blissfully happy..

Although, Tiffany got hysterical that, she insisted that we have to go to a hospital, just to make sure if I was really pregnant. Of course, without the other member's knowledge, and our managers, because we still weren't sure that time (said Tiffany). We didn't go to some hospitals in Korea, but in abroad -- London.

But before we fly to London (in our member's point of view, that Tiffany and I were just staying there for vacation), I was just surprised, when Tiffany showed me something, "This is Amber's hair."

I was confused. At first, I was wondering why did she get a strand of hair from Amber? What'd she do about it? "If ever that you are really, pregnant, we could also have a DNA test while we are there, if it is really Amber is the other mother of the child."

And that moment, she made upset, but I didn't show it. As if she was doubting what I said. As if, she was telling me that I wasn't sure who was the real father of my baby. Sure, I was disappointed, because my best friend wasn't fully convinced, but later on that disappointment vanished, when I looked at the positive side. She was just being a friend, who wanted to help.

"The owner of this hair is the father of the child that you're bringing, Ms. Jung and yes! You heard it right! You are exactly 10 weeks pregnant. Congratulations!"

When we laid our feet on the grounds of London, Tiffany and I, immediately went to a hospital and reserve a check up schedule, and of course took a DNA test. Since the result of the DNA was after three days, we decided that, I'd have my check up on the same day also, when the DNA results would be released.

When the doctor told me that I was pregnant, I cried. I cried, not because of the consequences that I'd face, but I cried in pure joy.

That moment, I knew why I was blissfully happy when the first time I found out that I was pregnant. It was because of Amber. I was happy that she was the father or the other mother of my baby. I know that it was impossible to hear, but I didn't care. I didn't care, what other people would say.. It IS our child.

"Guys. I am.. I am pregnant."

It was the day when we got home from London and I didn't waste any time and told the seven girls about my pregnancy. Of course they were really shocked and I remember that I was crying that time. They asked me how did it happen, and who was the father or such, and I knew that I owe them the truth. I told them everything, and their reaction was the same as Tiffany's when the first time, I told her the possibility of my pregnancy.

"I couldn't explain it also, but when we asked thedoctor, he said that there were three cases before, but it happened at a very long time ago. He said that, it was a rumor. No one really proved if it really happened or not."

In that conversation, I could already feel the consequences that destiny has thrown me. I didn't want to drag them, from what has been happening to me during those days. Although, it was really hard for me to decide, I had told them that I was quitting for the sake of my child. That moment, I kept on saying my deeply apologies to them, but the next thing they said was already unexpected for me to take, "If you're quitting, then we are all quitting, also. We are a family here, Jessica and we would never be  SeoNyeohShiDae if one of us were also not here in this room. We are the lucky number 9 and we will be forever the 9 girls of Girls' Generation until the end. We are going to support you."

I was touched. I really was. I cried and my heart was melted when they said it to me. Maybe, I was one of a hell lucky that I have -- not one, but 8 sisters who are all beside me from the start of my career. I will never -- EVER regret that I belong to the group and met 8 different wonderful girls.

Before we could even tell to our managers and especially our CEO about the disbandment, I talked to mom and dad alone, about my situation.

I told them everything. The coming disbandment of the group and lastly my pregnancy which I ended up telling them my reason behind my break up with Amber.

They didn't take it good nor bad when I told them everything, especially my pregnancy. They never blamed anyone, Amber nor my sister.

The most amazing thing about my parents when it comes to this situation, was first they would listen and try to understand the situation. For short, they're open minded persons.

I would be lying if I said that, they weren't sad about what has been happening to me, but like what I've said, they're open minded persons..

And as for my pregnancy, like what my members reaction -- mom and dad.. They found it hard to believe that Amber got me pregnant. It was really impossible, they said (though it was REALLY impossible), but when I showed them the DNA results, that was when, they were convinced, that I was indeed pregnant with Amber's child.

I had told them, also that after announcing our disbandment, Tiffany, Seohyun and I were going to North Carolina to continue our lives there and for me to gave birth to my baby and start to live there.

And as parents, the sadness would definitely be there when their oldest daughter would have to part away from her family to start a new life. But, I assure them, of course that the moment I start to live there, I'd always communicate with them.

For my sister..

I told mom and dad, that what I had told them, especially my pregnancy -- They should keep it a secret from her..

The reason? I don't want to hurt my sister because of me..

And three months -- the agency announced that Girls' Generation was  not a girl group anymore. Our manager, the CEO knew, that.. We just wanted to quit. No reasons. The fans -- we knew that we disappoint them, but I knew most of them would never understand the real reason..

They knew that Tiffany, Seohyun and I were models in London, but truthfully, they didn't know, that we are now living a simple life in NorthCarolina. And me.. A simple life with my son.

 

 

 

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A/N: okay first of all.. i wanted to apologize if i ruined the layout of the chapter. i really didnt know how does it happen, but after i copied the story from my evernote accnt.. it just became like this.. :\

 

 

okay anyways.. i decided to post this one because my next update will be in 2 weeks.. yeah.. i know.. im really sorry but i am preparing for school so i dont have time to write now.. BUT! of course I will try to update this again but not too soon.. so i hope you will understand.. 

 

that's all! see you again! bayooom~~ :D