“Siwon likes you,” Han Geng said, turning on his side to look at Heechul in the bed they were sharing. 

Heechul merely flipped to the next page in the magazine he was holding up. “Duh.” 

“What are you going to do about it?”

“What can I do? He probably prays about it, or something. I’d him off if he’d let me but noooo, ‘It-”

“‘-is against my religion’,” they finished together, grinning. Han Geng sat up, and took away Heechul’s magazine to loud protests. He then bent low over Heechul, effectively shutting him up.

“So,” he flicked out his tongue to taste Heechul’s bottom lip, “What are you going to do about it?” 

Heechul blinked. 

And smirked.

** 

“Did Heechul hyung and Han Geng hyung have a fight?” Sungmin whispered to Ryeowook during dinner four days later, his eyes on the two of them sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, Siwon in the middle. Heechul was leaning on Siwon, snuggled tight against him as they watched television in the adjacent living room.

“What?” Ryeowook answered, shifting round in his seat to sneak a peek at the trio. 

Heechul whispered something in Siwon’s ear that made Siwon immediately blush, and Heechul, beaming, teasingly under his shirt. Siwon flushed even more, and weakly batted at Heechul’s roaming hand. Han Geng sighed loudly, glaring at the two of them. Heechul ignored him.

Ryeowook turned back to Sungmin, his mouth slowly forming a perfect ‘o’.  

“It’s been like this for a few days now,” Sungmin said darkly.

“What are you whispering about?” Kyuhyun asked, leaning in.

Sungmin and Ryeowook looked at each other.

** 

“Yah, you,” Heechul said the moment Han Geng closed the door to his room that night. “What was with all the glaring and sighing just now?”

Han Geng laughed and shucked off his slippers. “I can’t look like I’m in on whatever you’re doing with Siwon, can I? They’ll think it’s weird.”

“Oh, and it’s okay for them to think whatever they want about me, is it? They probably all think I’m cheating on you.” Heechul threw a stuffed pig at Han Geng, who was climbing into bed. He caught it lightly and threw it back, hitting Heechul bang on the head.  

“Yah!” Heechul pounced on Han Geng, bundled up in his blankets, and started hitting him with the pig. Han Geng, breathless with giggling, wrenched the toy out of Heechul’s grasp and managed to wrestle him into submission. 

“It’s not even as if anything is actually happening between us,” Heechul said, sweeping hair out of his eyes. “I honestly feel like giving up on that man.”

“Tsk,” Han Geng tutted, arranging the blanket around them both. “Well, if you’re sure you can’t do it…” he trailed off, watching Heechul out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, your latest hairstyle is a bit of a disaster. It’s probably that.” Heechul opened his mouth to say something and Han Geng quickly cut him off.

“And you know, he’s only 24. Gorgeous, great body, could have anybody he wanted. Not that you’re not a good catch of course, but he might just want someone-”

“Don’t you dare!”

“-younger,” Han Geng grinned in the deathly silence that followed. 

He got up to switch off the light, and when he climbed back into bed he was unceremoniously pushed out of it and onto the floor by a very angry Heechul. 

** 

“I’m so glad I have you,” Ryeowook said to Yesung, hugging him tight under the covers. “You’d never cheat on me, would you, baby?”

Yesung looked at Ryeowook oddly. “What?”

“Well…”

*

“Heechul hyung is cheating on Han Geng hyung,” Kyuhyun muttered to Donghae, as they brushed their teeth next morning side by side. Donghae’s toothbrush fell out of his mouth and onto the floor. 

*

Donghae grabbed Eunhyuk as they passed each other in the hallway, and whispered hurriedly in his ear. Eunhyuk’s “No way!” made Shindong poke his head out of his room. After looking both ways down the passage, Donghae dragged Eunhyuk into Shindong and Kibum’s room, shutting the door tight.

** 

“Nobody is to tell Teukie hyung, is that clear?” Sungmin hissed at the other seven assembled in the kitchen. “It’s just going to make him worry and fuss and none of us are going to have any peace.”

“Does that mean we can’t tell Kangin hyung either?” Eunhyuk asked. “If he finds out and wants to know why we didn’t tell him, I’m telling you all right now I’m going to pretend I didn’t know anything. Someone else can go get hit this time.” Kibum snorted.

“Where are they, anyway?” Kyuhyun asked, and Yesung and Shindong moved over to look at their schedules, pasted on the fridge.

“Leeteuk hyung and Kangin hyung have already left for a show recording… the other three have nothing on at this time. Looks like they’re not up yet.”

“Poor Han Geng hyung,” Donghae said, and they all nodded, solemnly contemplating Han Geng’s tragic love life. 

“Good morning,” the oh-so-tragic subject of everyone’s thoughts yawned, shuffling into the kitchen. “Has anyone cooked breakfast?”

“Hyung!” Donghae cried, and eight pairs of hands were pulling Han Geng into a seat, patting his back and hair, getting him coffee, and preparing his food. 

“Hyung, are you feeling okay?” Sungmin asked, expression sorrowful.

Kibum set a cup of coffee down in front of him, gave him a sympathetic look, and wandered off into a corner.

“Eat a lot, hyung, it’s the only thing I can do for you now,” Ryeowook said sadly, placing a towering bowl of rice before him.

The rest of them pulled up chairs, and watched Han Geng in silence.

Han Geng watched them back in utter bewilderment. “Did someone die?”

“So brave,” Eunhyuk said, holding back tears. Shindong handed him a tissue.

It’s one of those mornings, Han Geng thought, and picked up his chopsticks. Just then, he heard a door bang open, and Heechul’s voice came floating into the kitchen. “Siwonnie! Wake up!” He ducked his head to hide a grin.

The other eight exchanged raised eyebrows as Heechul appeared, a half-asleep Siwon in tow. “Why is everybody standing about? Eternal maknae, start serving!” Heechul joked, and pushed Siwon into a chair. 

Everybody took their seats around the dining table – considering how many of them there were and how small their table was, some had to settle for taking their seats merely near the dining table – and watched Han Geng, Heechul and Siwon like they were watching a ticking time bomb. Ryeowook dished out eleven sets of rice, soup and kimchi.

“Yah, why do I have so little rice?” Heechul asked, rapping the table with his spoon. 

“We ran out,” Ryeowook muttered, and quickly stuffed his mouth with kimchi.

Siwon peered into his bowl. “I… don’t even have any rice.”

“What?” Heechul asked, looking over at Siwon’s bowl. “Here, Han Geng has so much. Take some of his.” He scooped up half of what Han Geng had in his bowl and deposited it in Siwon’s, oblivious to the dropped jaws all around the table.

Han Geng looked up at the scandalised faces of s and all of a sudden, something clicked in his brain and the entire morning started to make sense. He had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to keep from laughing out loud, and contorted his face into an expression of utmost misery. 

Sungmin glanced at him and took a deep breath, looking like he was steeling himself for something. He stared straight ahead, and said in a voice like he was giving military commands – 

“You shouldn’t take things that don’t belong to you!”

Heechul and Siwon looked up, puzzled. “What?” Heechul said.

Siwon looked at the rice in his bowl, and then at Han Geng, face innocent and confused. “Do you want your rice back, hyung?” 

“I’m not just talking about rice!” Sungmin barked out.

Han Geng nearly burst a lung trying not to laugh.

“You also should be happy with what you have,” Eunhyuk offered. 

“Yes! Be happy with what you have!” Sungmin glared at Heechul.

“But my bowl was empty,” Siwon said, frowning at said bowl.

“Um, I think I have to go,” Han Geng said, and escaped from the kitchen before collapsing in guffaws in his room. 

He could only imagine the accusing looks directed at Heechul and Siwon by the others back in the kitchen, and that only made him laugh harder.

** 

“But baby-”

“Don’t ‘but, baby’ me,” Heechul said, shaking Han Geng’s hand off his arm. “Now the whole apartment hates me, and I’m not even getting any Siwon to make up for it.”

“Honey,” Han Geng said seriously, cupping Heechul’s face in his hands, “I’m pretty sure he would top.” Han Geng only narrowly missed getting slapped.

“Anyway, the last laugh is on you, because I’m going to win this challenge no matter what. When I went to wake him up this morning I’m very sure he was dreaming about me.” Heechul finished, smug. 

“Oh, yes? And how do you know that?” Han Geng asked, amused.

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Heechul sang, and pirouetted out the door of his room. “Siwonnie! Where are you!”

Han Geng rolled his eyes.

** 

Kangin watched how Siwon blushed at Heechul’s brazen touches, and stared at Heechul’s hand on his thigh. He watched how Siwon tentatively returned the touches, how he let one arm rest over Heechul’s shoulders, how he relaxed into Heechul’s body leaning on him. 

Kangin looked at Leeteuk sitting next to him, then Heechul, then Siwon. Han Geng was nowhere to be found.

He also watched Sungmin, Kyuhyun, Yesung, Ryeowook, Eunhyuk, Donghae, Shindong and Kibum watching Heechul and Siwon. 

Hmm.

When Siwon disappeared into Heechul’s room later that night, Kangin grinned. He hefted a sleeping Leeteuk into his arms, and walked thoughtfully to bed.

** 

“How long have the rest of you known about Siwon and Heechul, and why didn’t any of you say anything?”

Kangin’s question after the car containing everybody but Siwon, Heechul, Han Geng, Yesung, Ryeowook, and Kibum had taken off stunned everybody into silence. Shindong thought longingly of the Kangin-less car the other members were in, and sighed.

“I didn’t know anything!” Eunhyuk cried out frantically, and Kangin hit him.

“What?” Leeteuk asked. “What is this about? What’s happening with Siwon and Heechul?”

Sungmin dropped his face into his hands and moaned. “Oh, here we go.”

“Somebody better tell me what’s going on right now,” Leeteuk said, threateningly.

“How do I put this,” Kangin started. He thought for a second. “They’re ing.” 

Protests from the other members immediately drowned out Leeteuk’s “WHAT!”

“Hyung! You don’t know that!” Donghae cried. Kyuhyun glared at Sungmin, who was ironically trying to cover Kyuhyun’s maknae ears.

“Okay, okay, but something is definitely going on. Definitely. Right?” 

The others nodded reluctantly. 

“I don’t understand! Why! When! Why!” Leeteuk clawed at Kangin’s arm. “Why didn’t anybody tell me? Aren’t I the leader? Oh my god, if this is true SJM will disband because Siwon and Han Geng won’t be able to work with each other in China anymore and if it carries on here everything’s going to fall apart because then we’ll have to take sides and the group will be divided and noooooooooooooooooooo,” he sobbed into Kangin’s jacket.

Everybody stared. 

“Well, anyway,” Kangin said, absentmindedly patting Leeteuk’s head, “all I know is from what I’ve seen. What else do you know?”

“Nothing, really, but from how they’re acting it’s obvious,” Kyuhyun said, over the sound of Leeteuk hiccupping. 

“Heechul hyung actually gave Siwon Han Geng hyung’s rice,” Sungmin said, shaking his head. “And Han Geng hyung looks so sad all the time, now.”

“Hmm,” Kangin muttered. 

After a while, he sighed. “Teukie, stop crying.”

** 

Heechul was the first to wake when the alarm went off that morning, and he groaned at the thought of spending the entire day stuck in the studio, recording their new music. 

He shut off the alarm clock, flopping back into bed. Han Geng snuffled, beside him, and Heechul curled into his warm body, wrapping an arm around him. Heechul closed his eyes and sighed, thinking about the night before. Oh my god, what a disaster.

They were whispering quietly under the covers, their habit before drifting off to sleep, when Siwon came into their room. They both sat up, and looked at him standing by the door in the darkness. Heechul reached out his hand to him, wordlessly, and Siwon haltingly took a step, and then two, towards the bed. When he reached it, he took Heechul’s hand. 

And promptly started crying.

Heechul sighed again. Of all things, crying! Siwon had sobbed to them about being confused, and about strange feelings, and had apologised over and over to Han Geng ‘for impure thoughts about Heechul hyung’, and then had left to his own room, leaving Han Geng doubled over in laughter at Heechul’s dumbfounded expression.

“What was that you were saying again about winning this challenge?” Han Geng’s eyes twinkled in the soft moonlight coming in through the window. Heechul scowled and pinched Han Geng’s stomach through his thin shirt, waking him with a snort. He blinked a few times, blearily, and then turned over to face Heechul.

“Hello.”

“Hello,” Heechul said, frowning slightly. “Do you think Siwonnie’s okay?”

Han Geng went quiet, and Heechul knew he was thinking about last night as well. 

“I hope so. I feel bad for laughing, now.”

“You should,” Heechul said sanctimoniously. “Who knows what the poor boy is going through.”

“Well, it is your fault,” Han Geng said, grinning.

“My fault-! Who’s the one who started this whole thing?”

“Yes, yes, I know. Maybe we should call it off,” Han Geng said, seriously now. “I don’t want to see him hurt.”

Han Geng pulled Heechul close, and kissed the top of his head. “It’s off, okay?”

Heechul nodded, and thought of Siwon crying in their bed.

** 

“Where are my shoes?” Han Geng asked Heechul later at the main door, who shrugged. 

“How am I supposed to know where your shoes are?”

“I asked you to bring them out from your room!” Han Geng said exasperatedly, at which Heechul stuck out his tongue. 

Leeteuk looked from one to the other in desperation and flapped his hands at them. “Don’t fight! Please don’t fight! Donghae, go and get your hyung’s shoes!”

Donghae scampered off, and Leeteuk fixed Heechul with a stern look. “It’s very hard to find love, you know. Once you’ve found it, don’t let it go! Think of the band!” He took Heechul’s hand and firmly put it in Han Geng’s, and turned away with a last meaningful look at the both of them. “Siwon ah! You’re sitting with me in the car!”

Heechul glared at Han Geng, who had the grace to look penitent. “I must have been mad to listen to you,” Heechul hissed under his breath, and stomped out of the apartment. 

** 

The last thing either of them was expecting was Siwon coming into their room again that night.

“Siwonnie!” Heechul said, surprised. “Are you okay?” He hurriedly got out of bed and pulled Siwon over.

Han Geng made room for Siwon in the bed, and fluffed a blanket around him. He cleared his throat and found he couldn’t look Siwon in the eye. “Siwon ah, I meant to tell you last night, I’m not angry with you for your… your, um, impure thoughts,” Han Geng finished lamely, and wondered why he was so embarrassed.

Heechul Siwon’s face, pouting. “Our poor Siwonnie. We are very bad hyungs, aren’t we?” 

“Uh, it’s okay,” Siwon said, and blushed. 

“Ah, so handsome,” Heechul smiled. “Um, I suppose you’ve been praying about it?”

“I have, actually,” Siwon beamed at the two of them. “And I’ve made a decision.”

“Oh?” Han Geng said.

“Yes,” Siwon said, and kissed Heechul full on the mouth.

*

Han Geng stared at Heechul, who stared back at him. The door closing behind Siwon gave a little click. 

“That did not just happen,” Han Geng mumbled.

“Does this mean I win?” Heechul said, dazed.

** 

“Lunch is here! Come and get it now or go hungry!” Shindong yelled from the kitchen the next day. Doors opened all along the hallway and members poured out in search of food.

After the usual scuffle for space, Han Geng unexpectedly found himself without a chair. 

“Why don’t I have a chair?” he asked, looking around. “Don’t tell me I have to eat standing up.”

Leeteuk glared at Eunhyuk and Donghae, who both became very interested in their jajangmyun. “Some people managed to break a chair this morning, causing, might I add, grievous bodily harm to poor undeserving people who shall remain nameless,” he said, daintily sticking out his bandaged foot. Turning to Han Geng, he then asked, “Do you mind dragging over one of the stools from the living room?”

“It’s okay, Geng-ge can sit here,” Siwon said, and abruptly pulled Han Geng down onto his lap. 

If there is anybody here more shocked by this turn of events, Han Geng thought slowly, I would like to meet this person and shake him by the hand.

Han Geng looked at the others staring in disbelief at the two of them, and wondered, not for the first time, if Korea was making him crazy. Heechul was so shocked his eyebrows had disappeared into his hair.

Siwon pulled Han Geng closer, and balanced his bowl of jajangmyun on Han Geng’s thighs. He wrapped one arm around Han Geng’s hip, and started to eat. “Eat well, gege,” he said, dimpling.

Han Geng, unfortunately, found it very hard to eat. The jajangmyun was very hot, and it burnt his tongue. Also, it was saltier than usual. However, the biggest reason why he found it hard to eat was that Siwon wouldn’t stop his hip.

Siwon’s hand was hidden from view from the others because of the angle of Han Geng’s body, and he took full advantage of that fact. His long fingers dipped under the hem of Han Geng’s shirt, drawing circles and lightly dragging his fingernails against the soft skin exposed there. 

Han Geng fidgeted on Siwon’s lap, willing him to look up so that he could give him a Look. However, maddeningly, Siwon merely gripped his hip even more firmly to keep him in place and kept on eating. 

What Han Geng finally drew the line at, though, was when Siwon’s fingers worked their way under the band of his shorts. He quickly leaned down to put his bowl on the floor, and stood up, scooping up and handing Siwon’s bowl back to him. 

“Geng-ge?” Siwon asked, the very picture of saintly innocence.

“Your legs must be tired, Siwon ah,” Han Geng said weakly. “I’ll sit on the floor, don’t worry.” 

He sat down, and made sure to be as far from Siwon as he could manage.

** 

“I think Siwon is up to something,” Han Geng whispered urgently to Heechul in the car on their way to film an episode of Star King after lunch.  

Han Geng told him about Siwon’s wandering hands in a low undertone, making sure Sungmin on the other side of him couldn’t hear. 

“Wait, does this mean I haven’t won?” Heechul pouted. 

“Will you stop-! Heechul, I swear-”

“Oh, you. Siwonnie is naturally affectionate, maybe he didn’t mean anything by it.”

“What are you talking about?” Sungmin turned to them, smiling from ear to ear. “You two really make such a beautiful couple. Don’t they make a sweet couple, Kyu?”

Heechul growled, and Han Geng slumped in his seat. “What is my life?” he muttered.

** 

The quiet knock on the door that night made Han Geng jump and pull the blankets up to his chin. “Oh my god, it’s him, it’s him, I know it.”

Even Heechul seemed slightly apprehensive. “Siwonnie is becoming very unpredictable. I don’t like it.” He said decisively, staring at the door.

“Now look here, Siwonnie- Oh, it’s you,” Heechul faltered, flinging the door open to reveal a pyjamas-clad Kangin. “What are you doing here?”

“Expecting someone, are we?” Kangin said, grinning.

“Don’t think I won’t hit you. What is it?” 

“Nothing, nothing. Just wanted to wish you a good night,” Kangin said, smiling beatifically.

Heechul narrowed his eyes and slammed the door in his face.

“Han Geng, if things ever return to normal it will be a bloody miracle,” he stormed, and threw himself into bed. 

Han Geng sighed, and meekly kissed Heechul on the cheek. “I admit it, I was wrong to ever suggest such a thing, and-”

The second knock on the door was even softer than the first. Han Geng froze.

“Hello,” Siwon said, letting himself in. 

Han Geng felt himself start to blush hotly and was fervently thankful that the lights were off. He could still feel the featherweight pressure of Siwon’s fingers caressing his hip, and when the bed dipped under Siwon he grabbed for a pillow to use as a protective barrier.

“Siwonnie?” Heechul asked, uncharacteristically uncertain, and glanced at Han Geng.

Siwon’s full, rich laughter filled the room. 

* 

“Siwonnie,” Heechul gasped. “I thought this was against your religion?” 

Siwon smirked, and a scorching path up Heechul’s neck. He reached for Han Geng, and tugged him closer, pulling on his shirt. 

“I’ll go for confession,” he breathed, and kissed Han Geng deeply.

** 

“…to wake up!” Leeteuk called out, opening the door to Heechul’s room. The sight that greeted him sent him running for Kangin.

*

Siwon pillowed his head on Han Geng’s chest, and smiled sleepily up at Heechul. 

“Siwonnie, I thought you liked me, not this useless bum here,” Heechul said, poking Han Geng’s cheek and mock-pouting.

Siwon stretched, and hummed contentedly. “Don’t take this the wrong way, hyung, but it’s always been about the both of you,” he grinned. 

Han Geng smirked. “Hohoho,” he said, and wiggled his eyebrows in a little victory dance. He Siwon’s back. “I like him. Let’s keep him.”

Heechul draped himself over Siwon, to an ‘umph!’ from Han Geng. He drank in the warm smell of Siwon’s skin, with sweet traces of Han Geng. He smiled.

** 

Donghae blinked. “Han Geng hyung… and Heechul hyung… and Siwon?”

Eunhyuk nodded. 

“Wait, explain it to me again-”

* 

“Sungminnie,” Kyuhyun turned to him with his most winning smile. “What do you think about threesomes?”

Sungmin’s glare of death followed Kyuhyun as he retreated from the room in haste.

* 

“All you need is love!” Yesung sang, and Ryeowook giggled. Shindong shook his head and wondered if he could get an acting gig like Kibum that would get him far, far away from s’ special brand of insanity.