Again, please listen to this song! ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIKDe-9MZl8

Here's the last chapter :)

I can’t recall the last time I took leave from work. I didn’t like skipping it over trivial matters, but my health was on its toll; I had to do it.

Today was the second day. While I was at home, I tried to compose some tunes and lyrics in my office room. I didn’t know how much time had passed. The next thing I knew, I had the urge to throw up and dashed to the comfort room.

I locked myself in there for the night, and slept on the floor. My hands were trembling from the cold. My knees reached my chin. My toes curled. I was clearly not feeling right.

Fortunately, my friend that stayed over was still here. Of course he would be. It was the middle of the morning.

A bowl of what seemed to be vegetable soup appeared before me.

“Take it easy,” he told me and sat down on the floor. He lifted the spoon and moved it to me.

I opened my mouth and tasted the greens and spices. It had to do. Few unwilling scoops later, he bid me a goodnight and turned in.

As for me, I was wide awake. I was feeling a bit better, but I still didn’t want to sleep. I took a breather on the balcony, admiring the calm life of the city. Somehow, on this particular time, my eyes were sharp. I saw the incredible detail of fast moving cars. People that looked like ants were moving around, going to places. I was a bit jealous of their freedom, but being an artist, freedom was a big price to pay. Right now, I’m battling on the choices I have.

“To go or not to go?” I murmured.

I heard a dragging sound and found a rusty coin on the floor. I’ll leave it to this. Heads, I go out; tails, I stay. When I flipped the small change, the number stayed right up. I grabbed my jacket, slipped on some shoes and escaped from my house.

Outside, I felt anxious when people passed by, but I was also excited of the little deed I’ve done. I’m a grown up now, and pretty much, the only thing stopping me now would be my fans, which I hoped would be sleeping, not…stalking.

I dragged my feet wherever I felt like going. I passed by wide roads, small passages, I jumped on rocks that peered above the surface of a lake; all that I wanted was to get to someplace no one else would know but myself. That was until I tripped on a rock, fell down on my knees and dirtied my hands and face.

“Aish, that was stupid,” I muttered.

I looked at the place I’m in now. There were small rushing sounds of water on the sewage to my right. If I was correct, I can also see unused train tracks from afar.

My eyes widened, and my mind cleared. I quickly stood up, brushed the dirt on my pants and walked forward. I took bigger steps as I went nearer to the sight. The place was beginning to unravel before my eyes, just as my thoughts jumped back to the past.

I wasted no time to run after seeing the wrecked green train. The line of benches bore on the elevated platform I stepped on. Rocks were scattered, there was falling debris from the midnight dew on leaves towering the sides. The walls and the tiles were cracked, but still sturdy to step on.

I stopped on the bench at the center of the place. I controlled my air intake. I struggled to calm myself down. There on the edge of an arm of the seat was a mark that served as the evidence I was looking for.

KJJ.

The carving was enough to prove it. I looked around to see any loose wooden parts on the floor, but it was to no avail. I sat down, staring longingly at the mark. The missing pieces reminded me, pierced me; it pierced my heart.

“I’m…” I croaked as a start. I dared to touch it. “H…How’s life?” I asked. I leaned back and smiled. “I sort of couldn’t sleep, so I went out. I only planned on walking inside my neighbourhood, but my thoughts seemed to be astray. So now, I found myself here for you. Yep, a little bit too early for you.”

It might be crazy to be talking to no one in particular, but in this place, I managed to convey my feelings for a certain someone. I can’t exactly see him, so I opted for this: our special place…at least to me, it still is.

The memories I had were stored in a special place in my heart. I thought I wouldn’t ever open it again, but now that I saw it, I couldn’t help but go back to the past.

“Aie, those were the good times…” I muttered while arching my neck back, and welcomed the cold feeling encircling me. I was one with the mist, and it was one with me. I traced my fingers on the carving.

Soon enough, my mind showed me a face I see in my dreams. He had a small face, a notable scar beside his left eye, and a small birth mark above the left side of his lips. I remembered how he always tried to be upright, even amidst all the hardships he’d been through. At first, he was arrogant, but I soon learned it was because he didn’t want anyone to be close to him.

I wanted to be his friend, because no one deserved to be lonely in this world. I pushed through his barrier, and soon it cracked into pieces. I then realized that the real reason I was attracted to him was because I somewhat grew up in the same way like him.

My cheeks flushed red. I felt warm, knowing I was the one he leaned to, the one he cherished, protected…loved.

But those were just the good times. Not all fairytales can last a happy ending, not even dreams can go on forever, nor could our relationship stay together.

As painful as it was, I forced myself to be distant with him. I didn’t want to crash his world in an instant, when the moment comes that I break up with him.

It came…and it went.

I knew this wouldn’t last, even if I hoped for it to.

I already experienced the price of my freedom when I broke free from the contract. Now, I fear to pay the price, now that I wish to be back with him.

“It hurts, Yunho-ah. It really hurts.” I choked, shutting my eyes. I knocked my palm on my forehead, clenching my blond fringe.

Sometimes, you can’t get everything that you want in this world. People said that God always had a plan for each one of us, and that if he didn’t grant it, it wasn’t meant to be fulfilled. I stand in this world, believing that the wishes we pray for will be answered in the right time. I believe that our love was something I should wait for, because today was not the right time.

So up until this day, even after years have passed, I continue to treasure the love we had, fulfil the promises we made, and protect the bond we created.

I opened my eyes and looked around. I stood up, brushed the dirt on the back of my pants and unwillingly trudged through the tiles. I think I’ve had enough unwinding for the day. I really thought, but something was telling me I should stay.

And unbelievably, my hunch came true. I hid inside the small office, and then I clearly saw him: a vivid reality of the man I love. I heard everything he said. I saw everything he did. I believed all of his words. His heart poured out of his mind. I whimpered softly, begging not to be heard. It was a short moment, but it strengthened me.

I went out of hiding and looked at the new object on the special bench. I held it tenderly, and made a new vow to protect and fulfil.

I won’t stand back in the shadows in the care of fear; I will move forward and fight so that we will obtain our real happiness.

“Wait for me, Yunho-ah. I’m coming to get you back.”