a/n: so this is the last chapter and you’ll have your epilogue, enjoy!

Taeyeon’s POV

“welcome home,” I said once she stepped in my car, a smile graced on her face.

We went on our own way to car since we’re too afraid to get caught by fans or paparazzi. It was noon by the time we touchdown to Seoul. We were separated for more than half an hour or so, so that explains why I get excited when I see her face right now.

“if you didn’t notice, I was already home for these last 48 hours,” she said as her cheekily grin drawn on her face.

Her sweet talks got me swooned over the moon, did I influence her badly?

“wow, look at you being sweet and all,” I said while I put on her seatbelt. I can feel her eyeing me.

“yeah? I learned from the best though,” she said as she circled her arms around my neck and put her face so close to me until there’s only thing left between us is our breath, I can’t help but to smile and tucks the strain of her hair, and lean in, just to give her proper kiss. It was started slowly, I can feel soaked bliss form all over my face.

She is my soaked bliss.

But too bad, when I’m about to deepened our kiss, her phone started to ring.

“sorry,” she said as she bite her lower lips and pulling out her phone,

“sure, go ahead,” I gave her a small smile as I drove away.

For a brief moment I listen to her vomit English words for whomever at the other side of the line. She has her eyebrows crooked cutely as she was in her deep thought. She sounds serious all of sudden. How she could be cute and serious at the same time. I make a mental note to ask her that.

“everything’s alright?,” I asked when she ended her call.

She wipes her worried looks with her gentle smile,

“yeah,” she nods.

But I could see worry in her eyes,

“baby.”

And she answered with a hum,

“what is in your mind?,” I asked.

She just quiet and fiddle up with her flowers. I just notice if she still has her lilies, the one I bought for her earlier before I went to her apartment last night and her bracelet lingering prettily on her wrist. Thank God I trusted my guts with that one.

“can I help you with something, baby?,” I asked as I check side mirror, she just shakes her head slowly. But she can’t convince me, it eats me alive.

“if it was because your upcoming project, maybe I can’t promise you if everything will work as you planned, I can’t promise you if it’s always gonna be rainbow and butterfly,” I said while throw a glance once in a while.

And now she has her frowns on her face, but still not daring to see directly in my eyes,

“but I can promise you that hard works will never betray its master, baby, you are one of hell woman, you give all of your best, your effort is no joke at this matter well any kind of matter, you are pouring your soul into this, you lost your precious sleep so much to prepare this project for months, your idea never seems to stop flowing, your hand never stops draw, your feet never stops to moving forward with big case in your hand, and I can see it if one day you’ll get bigger, believe me, you will.

“and even if it doesn’t work out in the end, you still have me, you will always have me, I’ll stand by you and assure you if you are not in this alone, we’ll figure something out, I’m going to open my arms wide when you feel like crying, when you feel everything rushing through your brain and your muscle were about to give out, I’ll be there.”

then she gets quiet, but I don’t see her frown anymore. It wasn’t a happy face either.

“well if it was me, the one in your mind, then I’m fluttered, you never get enough of me, don’t you?,” my concern voice turn into playful one.

Thankfully her smile is back on her face,

“you are full of yourself right now, do you aware of that?,” she said between her giggle,

“well no my dear, I’m just stating the truth, since I know, I’m that adorable,” I said while tossing my hair back in a joke matter.

And she pinches me light on my arm. I don’t mind since her laughing is finally filled the air. The only thing I’m worried about is worry jung sooyeon. Maybe people say if I was always the one who overthink everything, but little did they know, my girlfriend tends to not overthink something. But when she does, it’ll scare the out of people. She becomes quiet(more than she already was), paranoid and grumpy, and I can’t stand her being like that.

“I see you like your flowers,” I said after a brief silence surrounding us, as I have my attention fully on the road,

And she giggles softly, and I can’t help but to spare a few seconds to check her out, and smile back in return,

“I like lilies,” she stated while smiling and staring at her bucket,

“why do you bring it with you?, it will die soon, you know, if you really like it that much, I’ll buy you again later,” I said, taking a glance from her seat,

She just shakes her head instead, smile still lingering on her face,

“everything will die, sooner or later, you, me, but doesn’t mean we can’t cherish it until the very end of their time.”

That was deep of her, and I’m deeply moved by her words,

“look at you being Charles Dickens and Shakespeare on me,” I let my right hand reach out for her hair and give it a gentle .

And she, again, just giggles and her smile grows wider. She tosses her hair back, I’ve learned that she always does that, when shyness shines through at her. she is, in fact, a mystery to me.  she tosses her hair a lot, she likes to smell everything before she used it, she always traces her finger unto my torso when I was asleep, she doesn’t like the heat, she doesn’t like walking (leave alone running) but she likes to travel. she is like a closed book waiting to be read. why does she do this? there are things i'm willing to get to the bottom of. Perhaps, I’ll still have the rest of my life to figure her out.

“when do you think your parents will be here?,” she asked, this time she has her attention on her wrist, her silver bracelet to be exact,

“uhm let’s see, they said if they’ll come around these days, I don’t know, maybe tomorrow or the day after.”

“I see,” her eyes wondered, not wanting to look at me.

I can feel her body tensed up, so I try to ease her with playing my soothing playlist. At first she was quiet but when it plays her favorite song, she started to sing and moving to the groove. I should getting used to this, where she was dancing and pouring all her hearts in it. It’s already 9 years since I saw her dancing and singing in that room. She captivates me on her every moves. Maybe I should be at the point where I don’t feel surprised and imagining things, but I still am. I never had her dancing on me or with me before. It’s all for public’s service. I can only imagine her dancing, dancing by the pole or ily leaning against the wall, or giving me for instance. Well, maybe we still aren’t on that stage but a girl can hope, right?

“what did you just say?,” her voice wakes me from my daydream,

Uh-oh, did I say that out loud?

“I didn’t say anything,” I said with my lower voice, I could feel her gaze is fixated at me and I want to dig a hole and bury myself so much right now.

“oh baby as matter of fact yes, you did, it was about me and , wasn’t it?.”

Stupid kim taeyeon is stupid, I palmed myself so hard in my head, why did I say that out loud.

“you are so red! you’ve been caught! You were thinking about dirty things, aren’t you? Kim taeyeon, I never suspect you’d thought of such thing,” she said as she twirls her glistening eyes on me, her glimmering eyes makes me shrinking and burning.

“well I can’t help, can i? I have such a gorgeous girlfriend, not to mention, she has a heavenly body god send her from above,” I said under muttered breath.

And she was quiet, when I take a quick glance at her, she has her eyes back on her flowers. did I went too far? Ugh I hate how insensitive I could be sometimes. A sigh escaped from my lips, and I’m about to apologize when she said,

“I’m not pretty….and I don’t have a great body.”

You kidding me right?

Even if she didn’t say it purposely for me to hear, but I catch that,

“you’re clearly wrong,” I stated sternly.

“well it’s clearly hard to believe, at least to me.”

Her voice sounds sharp all of sudden.

This is the second time she has problems with her self-esteem, straight in a day, less than an hour.

“don’t you ever go there,” my tone wasn’t going to lose with her sharp ones.

haven’t I showed her enough how beautiful and great she is, or maybe I haven’t showered my love to her enough.

“Could you take my purse? I want to show you something,” I said as I didn’t look away from the road. Nevertheless, she reaches out for my bag and takes out my purse.

“now open it.”

And she did as I told. She was a little bit surprised. Because I have her old photo on my purse. It’s her pass photo. Long gone, before we debuted. She still had her bracelet, her shimmering and shining forehead was all open in the market, she still had her long straight black hair and her small lips turn into a curve smile.

“why do you have it in your purse?,” she asked while still mesmerized by her old self in a picture.

“because jung sooyeon I fell in love with isn’t only for her current self, but also her previous one, all sides of her. Sooyeon-ah, I was intrigued by you at the very first sight, maybe I was in denial but I didn’t deny it if you were always pretty, even from back then.”

I hit the red light and I take this as an opportunity. I’m flipping down her sun visor and mine, so I can take a bold move, as such happy song said sometimes I gotta be bold, and rock her world. I unbuckled my seat belt and lifting up my body a little so I can get a better access to look at her. The next thing I did was letting my hand reach for her face and cupped her perfectly shape cheekbones, and bring it closer to me so I can kiss her senselessly. I see I took her by surprised. I tilted my head a little and bite her lower lips gently so I can get her to kiss me back, which is she granted it slowly. After a few seconds of heated lips locking, I noticed now my hands down to her neck and our lungs are burning from the lack of oxygen. You know that feeling, when you kissed someone you love oh-so-dearly, sometimes you can’t contain happiness inside of you so it decides to bring the evidence to the world by letting the corner of your lips lifting up, draws a smile upon your face.

“you were pretty then, you are pretty now, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

I said after we manage to catch our breath.

I don’t know how the position was returned. I have both of my hands support my body to lean on her side and she has her hands circled on my neck as we resting our forehead together, locking our eyes,

“I love you.”

She said it so softly, it barely came as a whisper. Her voice is frail, like it would break any second if she dropped it off.

“god, taeyeon, I love you.”

She said it again a few second later. This time, she has her smile on her face with her swollen lips.

“I love you too, and your genuine heart and your smart brain and your peculiar smile and your crunchy laugh and your cute crinkle eyebrows when you were in a deep thought and of course, your smoking body, we can’t forget that part, obviously.”

I said and I gained a light slap on my arm as a reward, her laugh is back in the air. When I’m about to recaptured her swollen lips, there is a loud honk behind our car that brought me back on my feet.

“it’s green, taeyeon.”

“dammit, way to ruined the moment.”

I said while she was giggling. I flip my sun visor up and drive away. I could go on and on to list why do I love her, it’s never ending list. Maybe for some people, love doesn’t need any reasons. Maybe at first, you didn’t need any of it, but when you started to really learn to love about someone, you grow to study their details. And every side of it brings you to love them, even every single flaw, every single mistake, every her imperfect side, but doesn’t mean you love them any less, maybe even better, you could love them even more.

“you are one of a kind jung sooyeon, you are my intelligent gorgeous woman, don’t ever doubt yourself but even if you did, come to me, I’ll show you, you’re worth all of great things in the world.”

I’ll never get tired to convince her every time she starts to doubt herself. I could picture myself being on her side, convincing her if she is more than good enough, every single day. I’ll convince her until she is starting to believe it, until she starts to love herself more. Until then, I’ll give her more love to fill in. I’ll love her the way she couldn’t love herself. I’ll show her how great person she is until she believes it, by then, I’ll love her like I always have been, always will.

---

“wow, you look…” I trailed my words, too shock to look at what hits me, or better yet, who.

Since tonight is our dinner time with my parents, I pick her up to her apartment. She said she needed her time to prepare so she went home and 8 hours later, here I am standing in front of her door, surprised with her appearance.

“I look what? Is this dress inappropriate? Is it too daring? Do I look fat? Do I have to re-do my hair? Do…”

“my God you look…you look dazzling, gorgeous,” I cut in. “God blessed me.”

And her lopsided smile drawn on her face, meanwhile, I still have my jaw drop a little,

“that’s a reaction I wanted to see,” she said as she stole a quick peck, causing my lips to close.

She wears one piece sleeveless black dress that exposed her collarbones, but she covered it up prettily with navy blazer. That dress fits her very well, it hugs her body tightly showing her curve politely, it wraps her up nicely down to her knee. It’s a simple dress, yet lace that circling the edge of the dress makes it more elegant.

“are you ready?,” I asked, following her from behind.

She walks to her kitchen and drink a glass of wine, I supposed. This is the first time I’m in her apartment after all these years, but it’s totally still the same. It has contemporary design with wooden detailed. The wall painted in cream marble. It has a high ceiling, it contains with 3 rooms and 2 bathrooms. A big apartment for a single lady. It’s on 4^th floor from 8^th. She said she doesn’t want to go higher but she doesn’t stay low either. That’s just like her, she isn’t type to be greedy yet she knows where she stood. One of the reasons why I fell in love with her.

“do you want to drink?,” she asked, turning to my side, since I was behind her.

It’s crystal clear if she is nervous. Nervous is an understatement, she is beyond scared and freaking out, and so do I. and I know, the wine she drinks only to calm herself down. I would be lying if I said I’m not terrified. Of course I am. I didn’t know how my parents would react. We never talk about my uality, let alone having a girlfriend. But I really want them and her to know if I’m deadly serious in this relationship. I want this to last. I want her for the rest of my life. Knowing her reaching out for my parents before I knew it, it just feels right to have her called as mine.

I walk to her and take her glass from her hand, I could use this to relax myself a little bit,

“yeah,” I said after manage to send her a small smile, then she pours her wine in.

I take a big gulp, to finish it in one shot. She raised her eyebrows,

“are you alright?,” she asked.

Her red lips caught my attention. It looks more glistening, maybe from the wine she drinks. I don’t know if that wine finally got the best of me or her lips that luring me because the next thing I did was grabbing her waist, close our gaps and connect our lips, to have a little taste of her vanilla mint breath. She has her eyes close and I have mine open, I want to memorize the pleasure I gave her this time. It started as a gentle and sweet kiss that leads to where we are now, have her trap under my hand. She has her palm wrap my neck tightly as we tilted our head out of sync, rights and lefts, and I have my hand slowly make its way to her belly and caressing her perfectly shape abs. We desperately want to feel each other, the only battle we are in right now is catching our breath. I’m holding her waist tightly until I can see her dress is lifting up, showing her bare slim thigh. I don’t want to screw her hair so my hands stayed. I didn’t realized what I do until I feel her back is against her kitchen counter. A moan escaped from her lips, and that’s a sign I should’ve stopped. I nibbled her lower lips as we try to catch our breath. Once she opens her eyes, it sends me shiver and sea of calmness at the same time. Her chest slowly becomes steady, a lopsided smile drawn on her swollen lips.

“I am now,” I answered her question. Her dreamy smile always have its way to make my heart takes off on a high speed chase, but this time, it manages me to gather around my thoughts and pull myself together.

I don’t need to worry about what might happened, after all we didn’t talk about the ‘what ifs’ situation. I can do this for both of us, we can do this, no matter what my parents said.

This is what I want. It is what I need.

Us.

“ready?,” I asked as I bend my arm, just for her to take.

She smiles whilst linking her arm with me,

“whenever you are.”

---

“ah Jessica! Long time no see!”

My dad greeted us as he walks hand in hand with my mom. We automatically standing up and giving them a bow. My dad was the only one who had smile on their face,

 “I thought you said you would bring your boyfriend,” my mom said sharply as she sat down and looking through the menu. “but let me guess, he backed down in last minute or maybe running a little late,” she said, this time a smile spread on her face.

I gulp nonexistent limp on my throat. Jessica takes my hand and interlaced our fingers under table before I’m fidgeting all of sudden. I can see her concern look from the corner of my eyes. I remember if I said “someone special” but my best bet, they assume if it was my boyfriend. I’m rolling my eyes in my head. of course, they have no idea if their daughter just happens to fall in love with a girl.

“can we order our dinner first? I’m too excited to meet my beautiful daughter until I didn’t eat my lunch,” my dad asked after clearing up his throat. He senses the tensed air in the room and I can see Jessica shows her thankful smile. He gains a small chuckle from my girlfriend. So we quietly reading the menu, it was so quiet I could hear our own heartbeat. This private room makes it looks more quiet than it is. It has nice decorating, a big table for 4 people with vintage ornament on here and there, but I can’t pretend if my mind isn’t here right now. My palm is sweating crazily and my heart feels like might outburst within second. This is exactly what I felt back then, when I was about to confess my feelings to her. My brain stops working.

“what do you want to eat?,” Jessica’s soft voice brought me back to reality,

I honestly don’t know. I didn’t read the menu, I was caught up in my own mind, I can’t think or eat while I haven’t told them about us. Maybe I’ll feel better after I told them and ordering my food. I give a glance to my parents who sit across of us. They are chatting quietly, trying to figure out what they want to eat. And Jessica gentle make my head turning towards her,

“taeyeon, hey, are you alright?,” Jessica asked, she is clearly worried right now. she tries to lock our eyes but I’m too scared I might lost it.

“we’re ready to order, have you decide what do you want to eat?,” my father asked me while closing the menu.

“so you see, I said if I’m going to bring someone who send the presents, and as you clearly see right now, it was Jessica.”

And I can feel jessica’s eyes went wide and I didn’t missed to catch her breath hitched. Jessica’s firm grip on my hand sends me signal if it wasn’t the time, but I try to give her reassure look if it’s going to be alright.

“can’t you wait until we order our dinner first?,” my mom’s voice suddenly sounds too intimidating to our comfort.

“ah really?, well that was nice of you Jessica, we couldn’t be more thankful with your action,” my dad abruptly cuts in, he gives his best smile. That puts Jessica a little on ease since her firm grips starting to loosened up.

On the other hand, my mom keeps silence. she pressed the bell’s button, to call the waitress.

“hayeon and jiiwong send their gratitude, they like their sweaters and hayeon loves her new sunglasses to death, do you made it yourself?.”

It got jessica’s eyes lit up,

“made it? No, design it? Yes, anyway tell them it’s my pleasure.” she said humbly.

My mom suddenly press the bell and a waiter shows up,

“I’d like to order…”

And just like that, my mom throws away the conversation like it was nothing to be begin with. I look at Jessica with apologetic eyes, she just nods with smile on her face. I don’t see any disappointment or hurt, all I see is her considerate-self.

“she is so into fashion business right now, she is so great, hardworking, so passionate in this field.” I continue what we left off on right in, throwing a glance at my girlfriend’s side with smile plastering on my face. If Jessica couldn’t get any redder, she is now.

And my father’s face seems brighter than before, he was just nodding along with a smile.

“I can tell if your parents must be proud of you, you’re grown to be such a beautiful and independent woman.” he said as he sipped his sparking water.

“they are, dad, they are,” I answered as I pat my my girlfriend’s hand.

“that’s great news, do you have a boyfriend, Jessica? Since you’ve already come this far, there must be someone handsome behind a successful woman,” my mom suddenly joins our conversation, I could tell if she has no good intention to where this is going.

“she doesn’t have a boyfriend, mom,” I said briefly.

“take it easy, taeyeon, she can answer it herself,” she said.

“honey,” my father using his lower tones, try to warn her.

I’m taken aback with my mom’s behavior at the moment. she usually doesn’t act like this. My father, on the other side, keeps quiet even though he throws his little jokes here and there. Unfortunately, when I was about to fire back, the waitress suddenly comes with our food and a gentle in my hand from my girlfriend’s bringing my sanity back. Then I stopped.

“I’m in a steady relationship right now.”

I said after the waitress leave. I can feel my fingers getting crushed in my girlfriend’s grip. I expect my parents to get excited and thrilled with this news but instead I seem to catch my dad holds his breath and my mom tries to stay still,

“with Jessica.”

“No.”

and that was my mother’s respond. The food leave untouched, my dad is studying my face if I was telling the truth or not, and Jessica is looking at our intertwining hand. My mom and I, I feel like we are in staring contest, she looks at me with her big frown on her face.

“I know you didn’t see it coming, mom, dad, but, do you remember that time when I was trying to make amend because I kind of drift apart from our family? Jessica pushed me, she is a big help to me, she makes me see if family always comes first, and days passed by, I contact you more often, I’m trying to open up more, and now I decide to tell you about me and Jessica too.”

It was quiet for a moment. I don’t know what’s going on inside my parents’ head. Jessica’s soothing-eyes are watering. Silence overwhelming us until my mom spoke up,

“I don’t remember if we have children who were raised with sins.”

Anger builds up inside me, I know people are going to throw nasty words toward us someday but I don’t see it from our own parents, especially at time like this when I’m trying to reach out to them.

“for the record, mom, we are not a sin. And I don’t ask for your permission, I just want to tell you that I’m with her, very much happy with her, I told you this before you found out from media or another person, I want you to hear it from me, because I respect you enough to not disappoint you and dad like that.”

I’m trying so hard to control my anger and my tone. I don’t want to raise my voice to them.

“you are a disappointment, taeyeon.”

Her voice and face filled with disgust, she looks at me like I’m a piece of garbage. Hell, she looks at me like she was going to beat me up. I don’t know if admitting my own feeling is a crime.

“my God, I can’t believe I gave a birth to you and then you come back to me saying this disgusting news, taeyeon, it’s wrong!” she said as she didn’t budge or blink from her seat, her voice sounds the other way though.

“end it, whatever ‘it’ began with, just, end it. Don’t you feel disgusted with yourself?,” this time she dares to look at Jessica. And I can’t hold it any longer.

“don’t talk to her like that, don’t talk to us like that, I didn’t know if you’re going to be this rude, I don’t know if I was your prisoner, this is my own life, you don’t get to tell me what to do anymore!”

“yes I do!, I’m your mom!, taeyeon, I have a lot of man expecting you to be their bride, you don’t have to do this to yourself, and you Jessica, if you really like taeyeon, I can introduce you to my eldest son, he is no different with taeyeon and on the bright side, he is a gu…”

“enough mom!”

I slam the table as I’m trying to hold my anger in. I can’t believe my mom just said that.

“if she was really a big help to you as you said, since she shows you if family come first, she’ll let you to choose your family.”

Silence is erupting for a moment and Jessica was standing up from her seat,

“thank you for dinner, Mr and Mrs Kim,” she said despite of her clean plate,

No. what is she doing.

“no, where are you going? Sit.” I demand as I grab her arm.

My voice turns shaky.

“I better leave now,” she said without spare her time to look at me, she grabs her coat and purse,

“let her go, taeyeon, before you do anymore damage.”

“Damage? Mom, are you serious? It was anything but damage, what we have is great, blissful, joy.”

I just look at her, my heart is aching, my eyes are burning, tears are threatening to stream down. She looks at me with her lost eyes, I could tell she feels like she doesn’t have a choice.

“is it what you really want to do?,” I asked with my breaking voice,

And then she just slipped off from my grip.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, taeyeon,” my mom said after jessica’s back didn’t appear on our sight.

Anger is outrageous, I feel ashamed. Ashamed with my own family.

“do you hear yourself right now, mom? The irony.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, but the worlds out there will, besides, do you really think that two of you will last? Do you remember you’ve been ignoring her presence since forever and now you decide to drop this bomb on us if you are in a relationship with her, do you naively think it will work?”

“dad, please, help me out here.”

And he said nothing. I should’ve known him better, when he disagrees with mom, all he had to do is shutting up and letting her dominate the situation. This is why I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her owning me. This is why I left home and decide to pursuit my dreams here. And the dream just happened to make a sudden twist. it was all about singing and performing, not until I met Jessica. And the fact that she just left me, I don’t know what to feel.

“don’t you feel sorry for Jessica if people find out about you two? Do you want to put her in that position?”

“stop manipulating me!”

I should go after her, I don’t give a damn about my parents anymore. I’m starting to take out my purse and pay the bills. I’m wearing my coats when my mom said,

“you can go running to her arms but she won’t accept you, weren’t you in the room when this conversation happened?.”

“I don’t care!” I raised my voice, my parents seem shocked and not amused with what just happened, but I could care less.

“I don’t care if she was going to leave me, I don’t care if I can’t have her, I don’t care if you two can’t accept me for who I am, all I care about at this very moment is the woman that I love just getting a deep wound from ignorant people like you two.”

“she doesn’t love you, taeyeon, it’s just a lust, it’s anything but love,” she dares to speak up more. This time her voice was too sharp and too high pitched, almost screams.

A bitter smile draws on my face,

“I'm madly in love with her, maybe so much that she doesn't have to be in love with me.”

And I’m packing my belongings, getting ready to stand up from my seat. When I’m about to walk out from their sight, my mom speaks again,

“if you leave this room to chase after her, I’m not willing to recognize you as my daughter anymore.”

I don’t have to think twice, I’m starting to walk away, but when I reach the door I manage to ask my last favor,

“can you at least be happy for me?”

And I was gone, even if I haven’t listening to their answer.

---

I’m running out of breath when I saw her not far from restaurant’s building. I’m using my last beliefs to run and grasp her arms,

“how dare you to leave me like that?”

She looks surprise when she saw me, her eyes are red, she’s been crying. This is what I hate the most, in spite of she left me, I hurt her, indirectly.

“taeyeon go back there, don’t you follow me.”

She tries to walk faster, but she fails to know if she is no good runner or walker.

“baby.”

“don’t you baby me, taeyeon, just, go back to your family right now or you’d regret it sooner or later.”

I grab her arm again, this time she squirms too hard but I have no intention to let her go,

“sooyeon-ah, you can’t just leave me like that.”

And one thing I regret is brought her to this situation. I don’t see her face would dry anytime sooner,

“taeyeon what do you expect me to do? You are going to lose your family because of me.”

“you don’t get it, do you? if you thought you’d save me by leaving me is the best decision, you’re wrong.”

“then tell me what is the best decision? Maybe you should beg for their forgiveness, say to them if we are a mistake, tell them you take your words back, just, go back to them, Taeyeon, they are your family.”

She sobs harder, I clasped my lips together, she halts her steps.

“the best decision is us leaving that room together without giving a about ignorant people, but instead you decide to leave on your own.”

“I was trying to save you, taeyeon!”

“for sake Jessica, you don’t get to do that. I don’t need to be saved. I have you. well at least I thought I had you, do I have you right now, Jessica?.”

And we’re going back to Jessica-Taeyeon terms. This is the first time we raise our voice on each other. of course I’m angry. I was fighting for both of us and there she was, trying to cut it off and swipe it under the rug for a claim to save me. But seeing her standing still without muttering any words make me feel sick down to my stomach. Does she really going to let us, me, go like this?

“you know what, If you don’t want to be with me just say it.”

And I grab her arms, trying to make her looking straight to my eyes,

“you always have me, taeyeon, you know that.”

She said as she tries to get holds on herself, her voice sounds vulnerable and wounded,

“and I want to be with you, but not like this,” she added in.

And I release her from my grip,

We are quiet for a long time, just trying to calm ourselves down. Trying to read each other mind. But I can’t keep up with this deadly silence anymore,

“I’ll drive you home.”

For a second I didn’t hear her high-heels clicked to catch up with mine,

But much as my relieved, she walks right behind me.

When I was going to open her door, she interrupts me. when I was going to put on her seatbelts, she said it’s alright she got it. She doesn’t want to look at me, she doesn’t want me to do anything for her. My eyes are starting to burn again all of sudden.

Our driveway to her home is filled with tense air, uncomfortable silence. She has her eyes focus on the road, so am i. when we reach to her apartment, she gets out right away.

Is this it? Am I really going to lose her too?

and there was a knock on my window

“aren’t you going to come in?”

And I get out from my car, following her from behind. I’m trying so hard to resist the urge for holding her hands. When we entered to her apartment, I close the door and for a second later,

She took a fistful of my shirt and brings us closer,

she suddenly crashes our lips together,

Rough and tough.

“can you ask for their forgiveness?,” she trailed between the kisses, she was starting to ing my blouse and I help her out from her dress.

“my family was practically disown me and I can’t go back. And for the record, kim doesn’t back down from their own words.”

And she stops, her hands still lingering on my neck,

“what?”

“and if you’re gonna leave me too, it’s fine, it’s up to you.”

“no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry taeyeon, I don’t meant it like that, god Taeyeon, I’m sorry I have to put you through this,” this time she breaks down right in front of me.

And I couldn’t hold it any longer, I’m crying too,

sobbing soundlessly.

“you are my only family now.”

I said as I reconnect our lips again, I whimpered when she bites my lips, gaining my permission to let her tongue in only to get out again few moments later,

She was searching for my eyes, and her voice breaks my heart a little more than I could handle,

“You did what scared me most though; You put me first.”

She kissed me again without giving me a chance to respon,

She kissed me deeply, senselessly,

she explores my mouth like we haven’t done this before, even if we desperately needs for air, she still keeps going,

for more touches and kisses.

Tears are streaming down on our face,

I can feel the taste of saline on our kiss,

She take a very slow motion to nibbled my lower lips just to her lips harder next,

As I have her on my arms I walk us to her bed, her hands running down my back as I was on top of her,

Our tongues met in the fiery kiss,

The heat between our lips made a moan escape her lips,

I gently caressed her neck, not wanting to pull away,

I breathed heavily as our tongues grazed each other,

I felt the hot friction between us become unbearable,

The next thing we know, we are starting to undress each other,

and screams each other name until god knows when and where.

p.s. Thank you for anyone who spends their time for stopping by this story. I know it wasn’t the best story, hell, it’s far from good but all your comments moved me and keep me motivated, so, Thank you. anyways, if you want to talk about anything with me (I’m so into red velvet atm), sure go ahead. I don’t bite :) let's be friends!

p.s.2. I can't write lol

- M